As you may have noticed things are pretty quiet in the world of football these days. How quiet you ask? Well, this past Sunday the Denver Post did not have a single article about the Broncos in its sports section and today’s USA Today featured an article on collegiate strength and conditioning coaches. It is hard out there for a pimp. A pimp that tries to write about football that is. To make it worse, with little new to report, I noticed that the stories that are out there seem eerily familiar. A little like The Cleveland Show coming to Fox this fall. You knew it before as The Jeffersons.
Anyway, since the archives at pfb.com are currently out of commission and I feeling lazy during the hot days of summer, I have decided to re-post an article from last summer. Just change a couple names and places and it as timely today as it was a year ago when first posted.
Though, as you should expect, I can’t let it go without adding at least a couple comments here and there.
Prima Donna Disease
We can finally breathe again; our great national crisis has been narrowly avoided.
No, not the Favre hostage situation, currently being reported breathlessly by Greta Van Susteren as the countdown clock in the corner of Fox News shows it reaching the 144th hour since the communist sympathizers in Wisconsin asked Captain America to actually live up to at least some of the words coming out of his mouth. I’m talking about the other national (football league) crisis this spring. <<ED: God Bless Brett Favre, if I have to go a whole off-season without talking about him, I have no idea what I would do.>>
It appears that the Chad Johnson saga has been resolved peacefully and we won’t be subjected to hourly reports from Sal Paolantonio live in Chad’s driveway while Chad does sit-ups and curls in the background. <<ED: Replace the above name with Brandon Marshall, and this paragraph represents the dreams and wishes of Bronco nation. Well, at least some of their dreams and wishes. I would hope their dreams are bigger than just this. Like maybe winning the Lotto or a playoff game>>
Thankfully, despite grumbling to the media for months on end about his unhappiness with his bosses in Cincinnati, Chad showed up to all required mini-camps (making him at least a professional, if still a showboating whiner), before deciding he needed to get surgery that was recommended for him months ago. <<ED: So apparently uno-cinco isn’t quite the professional that ocho-cino is. An unbelievable sentence in itself, which says a lot about both Marshall and the chances he comes back to the Broncos this season>>
It is pretty much globally agreed that wide receivers are prima donnas. The number of incidents of first grader-like tantrums by receivers is well documented. So I guess the only question at this point is, why do wide receivers seem more prone to acting out than other positions?
It doesn’t seem to make sense that wide receivers would be any more spotlight desperate than other glory positions like quarterback and running back, yet they are. Why?
Well, what separates wide receivers from these other positions?
Wide Receiver vs. Running Back
Let’s start with the average yardage for each position. The best running backs average around 5 yards per carry. Wide receivers can average 15 yards per catch. That is over a first down every time they touch the ball. Going back to our publicity shy friend Ocho Cinco; in 2007, generally considered an off-year for him, he averaged 15.5 yards per reception <<ED: Uno-Cinco averaged 12.2 yards per catch in 2008>>. A.P. (I refuse to call Adrian Peterson A.D.), the leading rusher in the NFL averaged 5.6 yards per carry. He would need to touch the ball 3 times to equal the yardage of a single average pass to Chad Johnson (unless he is playing the Chargers, apparently). You don’t think gaining 15 yards per play strokes the ego?
Think also about where those yards are gained. A wide receiver is out on the edge of the play or down the field in open space, allowing everyone to see him and appreciate his greatness (as far as he is concerned). A running back spends half of their carries running right up the middle into a line filled with people much bigger than he is (unless his name is LenDale White). There is very little glory in gaining three yards up the middle. It takes a special sort of humility and/or perseverance to willingly throw yourself into a bunch of monster sized men 20 -25 times per game with the hope of popping maybe one or two for long gains (unless you are playing the 2007 Broncos, then you can count on several long gains). Many wide receivers probably played running back when they were younger but at some point moved outside, most likely because they couldn’t take the physical/mental beating inside.
Wide Receiver vs. Quarterback
The quintessential showboat position, the guy who gets the hot tub full of mediocre Juco girls and the trip to Disney Land after winning the Super Bowl.
Note: I still hold a grudge that Eli was named Super Bowl MVP this past year. If you think I was cruel to Mitch Kramer last year wait until this season!
Yes, it would seem that it would be impossible that a wide receiver could be more of a prima donna than the position that gave us Broadway Joe, Big Ben, Joe Montana’s masturbation skit on SNL and Paris’ Toxic Slurry, but every time Ocho Cinco or T.O. open their mouths they prove it again. <<ED: Welcoming Whiny-Jay to this group and it might be change this entire thesis in Dove Valley circa 2009>>
The interesting thing is that any wide receiver that wasn’t a running back growing up was probably a quarterback. The general philosophy in junior football is to make your best athlete your quarterback – given you want him to touch the ball as often as possible. What separates quarterbacks and wide receivers as they progress in football isn’t athletic ability it is commitment and maturity. Quarterbacks not only need to be the unquestioned leader of the team but they also need to be the one who studies the most, knows the most and holds the responsibility for the most. Any showboating wide receiver is probably not interested in studying film and the playbook twice as long as the rest of the team, knowing every position and being the team leader. If you are as self-focused as most of the wide receivers in the NFL there is just too much sacrifice to be a quarterback.
Quarterbacks also often have to take the responsibility for a loss, something thin-skinned receivers could never do. Other than Peyton Manning who has never personally been responsible for a loss (that damn offensive line), when an offense sputters, there is often one person that gets the majority of the blame (see, Grossman, Rex). A receiver on the other hand can always project all of the problems back to the quarterback as well: the pass was late, low, high, behind him or worse the quarterback wasn’t getting the ball to the receiver enough.
The final key reason that receivers are so whiny is also the same thing that makes them great: confidence. A receiver has to be willing to go across the middle and potentially get be-headed by linebackers or safeties. If they drop a pass they need to shake it off and be absolutely sure they will catch the next one. They need to go toe-to-toe with cornerbacks every play; guys, who have the egos and mouths of wide receivers but combine them with the hands of a guard.
Next time a wide receiver mouths off; remember that the belief in his own abilities is also what will enable him to get your team that first down on third and long.
It is a fine line between self-confidence and supreme arrogance.
