Sometimes the world baffles me.

I guess this really shouldn’t be news but, on occasion, something reminds me how little I understand about this is big, round ball we all live on.

This week, the overwhelming story has been focused on Penn State and the aftermath of revelations of the depravity of former coach Jerry Sandusky. But when the most evil player in a drama is not the most famous, the focus inevitably shifts to the better known (see: Lay, Ken; Enron scandal). The debate shifted from determining how much Paterno knew, when he knew it and whether he did enough (the answers appear to be: a lot, a long time ago, not nearly enough), to how Paterno’s career should be treated relative to these allegations. Should he be allowed to leave the program on his own terms? Should he coach this week? Is he being scape-goated by the school because he is the best known name?

I have an answer for these for one simple reason. I don’t care.

If the allegations are true that he has been notified on at least 2 separate occasions going all the way back to 1998, of what Sandusky was doing, then Paterno’s legacy, exit and career are the least of my concerns.  He enabled a child predator for over a decade.

I’m not a lawyer but it seems like the phrase ‘aid and abet’ is appropriate.

So Paterno doesn’t get to run out with his team in Beaver Stadium one last time. Oh well. Poor him. That is a much bigger tragedy than the shattered lives of 20 young boys.

If anyone is old enough to remember the lessons learned from Richard Nixon it is Paterno (in fact he was already middle-aged) – it is the cover-up that always gets you.

Paterno, for whatever reason, apparently ignored all of the warning signs about what Sandusky did, children paid a price and now Paterno is paying a price. I don’t feel sorry for Paterno, I feel sorry for the children whose lives have been torn apart by his in-action.

With the news world focused on a coach leaving a job, this week’s THH puts a different spin on it. All of the match-ups this week feature one participant that once was associated with a team and is now facing that team.

College

S. Carolina @ Florida

Steve Spurrier won a Heisman as a Florida Gator, returned the UF football program to a place of national prominence, made oversized visors the go-to head gear for coaches and won UF’s first national title (thanks to epic choke jobs by both Nebraska and Arizona State, though I’m not bitter). Basically you can blame Spurrier for all of those obnoxious ‘Go Gator’ commercials, the undeserved arrogance of every Gator fan you meet, Gary Danielson’s undying love of everything blue and orange. Bob Stoops’ love of visors with brims bigger than his head and even Tim Tebow’s college career.

But things changed for Spurrier when he left Gainesville and failed miserably in the NFL. Now he has a talented but always underperforming Gamecock team, a love-hate relationship with former quarterback Stephen Garcia that is practically ripped from the pages of US Weekly and, like the Pacific ocean trash patch, an ego that is lost in an entire sea of arrogant, blowhard SEC coaches.

In short, he has been humbled, which makes him easier to cheer for. Especially compared to the program he left behind in Gainesville.

NC State @ Boston College

Like Spurrier, Tom O’Brien helped make the BC program relevant and then left for a promising opportunity but failed miserably in that new job. Where Spurrier went to the NFL, O’Brien moved south to NC State, presumably to have access to better, faster athletes.

After he left Chestnut Hill, the Eagles made an ACC title game appearance, developed a top-3 NFL draft pick quarterback and a coach was fired for openly looking for another job.

Since arriving in Raleigh, Tom has done little, with his highlights being an-almost ACC title game appearance last year and then running off the quarterback of that team because that quarterback wanted to play baseball in the off-season. That quarterback went to Wisconsin, and Russell Wilson was a Heisman contender and had the Badgers in the top ten earlier this season. But O’Brien really showed him who is boss! Now, the Wolfpack are 5-4 and O’Brien is 3 games from adding to the nation’s unemployment rolls, which means we could also blame O’Brien for our continued national economic challenges. I will cheer on B.C. this week, mostly so that O’Brien learns a lesson taught us by the poets known as Cinderella: don’t know what you got till it’s gone.

NFL

Arizona @ Philadelphia

Kevin Kolb makes his triumphant return to the team that initially named him a savior but quickly forgot about him when another, flashier player showed up. In that way, Kolb is a lot like Brady Quinn. Also much like Brady Quinn it turns out Kolb isn’t a very good quarterback. And, again like Quinn, Kolb likely won’t play this weekend. Kolb is injured which puts a damper on his homecoming. Also putting a damper on his homecoming: the fact that neither of these teams is very good. The Eagles have played more like the 1992 Angolan national basketball team than the 1992 US basketball ‘dream team’. I may enjoy watching great teams, but there is nothing I enjoy more than watching an overly hyped teams fail. So for that I will stand at Kolb’s side on the Cardinal bench and cheer on John Skelton and the Cardinals to pull the upset.

Washington @ Miami

Like Kevin Kolb, John Beck returns to play the team that drafted him in the 2^nd round of the 2007 draft.

Sidenote: Is the 2007 draft the worst quarterback draft of all time? Top five taken: Jamarcus Russell, Brady Quinn, Kevin Kolb, John Beck and Drew Stanton – all in the top two rounds. The next group: Isaiah Stanbeck, Jeff Rowe, Troy Smith, Jordan Palmer and Tyler Thigpen. I dare anyone to find a class that is so bad from top to bottom.

The biggest difference between Kolb and Beck though is that while Beck is playing his fan-base wishes he weren’t while Kolb won’t play and his fan-base wishes he was.

I will cheer on the Dolphins for two reasons, that in the end have little to do with Beck saying ‘I told you so’ to the Dolphins. First, because my good friend Doug is a huge dolphin fan and I want to make sure he doesn’t get to cheer on Andrew Luck for the next 15 years. Secondly, there are few things in life that give me the same joy as seeing the Mike Shanahan post-loss fart face.

Early fall is my favorite time of year. The air has cooled and football permeates everything. Yet, when you really think about fall, much of what we love about it is defined by what it isn’t. It isn’t the scorching hot days of summer and it isn’t the cold, desolate winter. It is the in-between. Even the football season is in-between. Football’s regular season decides little. It is the pre-amble to the playoffs and bowl season where championships are won.  

Yet this year, a dark cloud hangs over my pumpkin carving, leaf raking happiness. I upgraded this off-season to a full Nuggets season ticket package just in time to have no games.  David Stern and Billy Hunter (as well as, apparently Kevin Garnett) are conspiring to ruin my favorite time of year, and therefore my entire year.

After negotiations between the NBA and players ended as abruptly as The Sopranos last night, we now face an entire winter with no NBA and it feels like my fall has been taken from me as well. My football teams are already done for the season. I should be a week away from spending my every night consoling myself by watching the NBA, but instead I will have to either talk myself into becoming a hockey fan, grow a mullet and start drinking Molson or commit myself to college basketball more fully than the players that actually play college basketball.

I haven’t spent enough time analyzing the NBA issues to decide who is right and who is wrong – mostly I suspect both sides are wrong. I understand that teams are losing money thanks to declining attendance and rising player costs but I find it hard to feel sympathy for successful businessmen that are asking for someone else to regulate how much they pay players because they can’t trust themselves. How did you make your billions not understanding the concept of cost/benefit? The billionaires on Wall Street are desperately fighting any attempt at regulating their reckless activities that can literally wipe out entire firms and the country’s economy. While at the same time billionaire NBA owners want more regulations so they can show a profit?

On the flip side, I have little sympathy for players that refuse to look at the broader picture and understand that to keep the league running successfully they may have to take a pay cut that doesn’t allow them that 3^rd Maybach they want.  The U.S. auto workers also refused to negotiate reduced payroll costs with automakers that had been generous when times were good. Those automakers instead of losing money, shipped those jobs overseas. Now, rather than making 80% of what they were making before when they had negotiated entirely too high salaries, the auto workers make nothing because there are no more jobs.

There is no perfect solution. At the end of the day, neither side will be happy with a resolution. But isn’t that the point of a negotiation?

NBA players already have their millions. Owners that were losing money certainly are in no rush to return to a money-losing venture. In the end, the only losers are the fans.

This looks like it is going to be a protracted battle. There is no end in sight. Fans, like me, are sad now, but over the course of the coming months, as with any other loss, we will progress through the stages of grieving until we ultimately reach acceptance.

And maybe, just maybe when the children in these negotiations grow up, become adults and settle this dispute they will learn the hard truth neither side wants to hear.

They need fans a lot more than fans need them.  

Shadow: Last week I worked a 30 hour ‘day’ and I still think I got off easier than being in beautiful (and by beautiful I mean ugly) Utica, NY onsite with our newest client.  Turner had that privilege, and we will be lucky if he is ever the same again.  He popped into work for a few minutes today and by the looks of his short locks…he either got a haircut or pulled out all his hair while the clients harangued him about the system he so glowingly sold them at Xmas time last year.  I am heading to California this weekend, so may miss the debut of Tebow Time, and am counting down the days until Vegas and the Revenge of the THH Parlay.  I really like SD’s theme this week…since I am such a devoted basketball disciple.

Since our basketball plates are going to be sparse this winter, we are incorporating it into THH this week.

In each match-up, which team would you cheer on if this were a basketball game, rather than football game?

College:

Wake Forest @ Duke

SD: Poor Wake Forest. For a brief period in the late 90’s and early 00’s Wake was a pre-eminent basketball location. It produced 2 of the best NBA players of the last 15 years (stoic Tim Duncan and nut-punching Chris Paul). But over the last few years it has regressed to the bottom of the ACC barrel. As a Florida State football fan, I can relate to team’s going from being one of the best in the country to being a conference also-ran. Duke on the other hand never changes. Lots of wins. Occasional championships. Unlikable players. Coach with dyed, glued on hair. Dick Vitale’s undying love. They could only get more unlikable if David Stern had gone there. Go Wake.

Shadow: Where else but college sports can you see the Demons versus the Devils?  Duke seems to always lead the league in recruiting the most annoying players in the country and then calling them “scrappy”.  Someone once said that success breeds contempt.  I don’t know what that means, but Christian Laetner (should have been disallowed from playing for a team with Devil as a mascot) and Bobby Hurl-ley soured me on Duke basketball for all time.  Go Wake.

West Virginia @ Syracuse

SD: Bob Huggins and Jim Boeheim are the polar opposites of the coaching world. One looks like he spends his free time at the Bada Bing Club. One looks like an Anthropology professor. Yet both have had similar careers – consistently successful with minimal post-season success (just Carmelo single-handedly taking over March Madness in 2003 keeps them from being championship-less). I will cheer on WVU and Bob here only because I appreciate Bob’s willingness to always take on dead teams and resurrect them. Cincinnati, Kansas State, West Virginia. None are glamour positions, yet he has succeeded at each. Whether he had a little assistance along the way from friends in the ‘Waste Management’ or ‘Import/Export’ business I don’t want to know.

Shadow: Just seeing the word Syracuse makes me feel a little wistful about Melo.  All of us that watched the Nuggets persevere and actually win after his departure still had to admit in our heart of hearts that in the playoffs, you just need that offensive go-to guy that can take over a quarter if needed.  The Nuggets had a bunch of guys who either didn’t seem to want to take a shot and just passed the ball around forever…or guys who never saw a shot they didn’t love to take no matter how ill-advised (looking at you JR Brick and Kenyon).  Painful at times to watch.  So, in honor of my memories of Melo, I will take the Orangemen.  (funny….Native Americans force St Johns to give up their name, but I don’t see the orange-fake tanned Jersey Shore denizens complaining about the Cuse)

[footnote:  yes, I know Syracuse dumped the Orangemen/Orangewomen and just became “The Orange”…but that fact would have prevented my really funny joke]

[footnote 2: fine, it wasn’t really funny…..shut up]

NBA:

Atlanta @ Detroit

SD: Hawks versus Pistons would be a great game if this were still 1988. Unfortunately now it is a game I don’t think I would watch even if it is the only NBA game played before 2012. Ok, that is a lie. Like an alcoholic sipping on cough syrup, if this is all I could get, I would take it. The Hawks would definitely win but I will go with Detroit just because I have retained a soft spot for Joe Dumars since he gave both Carmelo and Anthony and Chauncey Billups to the Nuggets. It’s the least I could do to re-pay him.

Shadow: The Tigers made the playoffs and beat the Yankees.  The Lions are measurably better than the Broncos right now and will probably paste us at the end of the month.  I know I should be trying to follow Dave’s theme….but I have too much hate for Detroit right now.  So, I am taking Atlanta.

Washington @ Carolina

SD: The Late Career Michael Jordan Derby! Washington, site of a comeback we have all wiped from our memories, and his first attempt at destroying a franchise from within the front office (Kwame Brown!) versus his current hobby in Carolina. The only time I ever saw Jordan play live was in a Wizards uniform which is like saying “I’ve only seen Robert DeNiro in the Meet the Parents movies.” It is a shame I carry with me to do this day. I have to go with Carolina, if for no other reason, than to try and wipe this stain off my soul.

Shadow: If Washington were still the Bullets, I would totally go for them.  I loved that nickname.  So much more politically incorrect and insensitive than any amount of Seminoles and Indians and what not.  I am less enthused with the Wizards moniker.  I think the Bobcats would be an exciting team to watch…and I would root for them, especially since they would be home in this matchup…and I would get to see Kristi.

This morning, news broke that the Raiders are about to trade for Carson Palmer, sacrificing their 2012 first round draft pick, and depending on Carson’s performance another 1^st rounder in 2013.

Thankfully for the Raiders, Carson was washed up 4 years ago, so any performance based incentive is likely to be not applicable.

The signing comes on the heels of Jason Campbell breaking his collar bone on Sunday. Facing a future with Kyle Boller under center, the Raiders were desperate to make a change, as is standard reaction whenever Kyle Boller is involved in anything.  

With the ‘Beached Steamer’ Carson Palmer joining the men in black (because he is rusty and washed up – do I really need to explain all of these to you?), playoff hopes are fading faster than Jordan Palmer’s career as the Billy Ripken of football.

But the real culprit at the heart of the Raiders’ problems is the former #1 overall draft pick, future of the franchise, quarterback Jamarcus Russell.

If Russell hadn’t become the bustiest California transplant sine Pamela Anderson, the Raiders might still be in the playoff hunt, Palmer would still be boycotting the game of football and the Bengals would have one or two less draft picks to screw up.

But Jamarcus didn’t just change the fortunes of the Raiders and Bengals. His inability to play well, and unusual interest in purple drank, has had ripple effects across the entire league. He single-handedly made two NFC teams contenders, helped kill another’s playoff hopes and indirectly helped lay the foundations that became ‘The Dream Team’.

The two most obvious beneficiaries of the Jamarcus fiasco are the Lions and Falcons. The Lions were able to select freak Calvin Johnson immediately after Russell. Where Russell is now a punchline, Johnson has become the most dominant athlete in football. However, Johnson is only as effective as the quarterback throwing to him and Russell also indirectly led to the Lions getting that man.

Daunte Culpepper had started for the Raiders prior to Russell being drafted. After Russell came aboard, he ended up in Detroit where his ineptitude led the Lions to a record-setting 0-16 season, the #1 overall draft pick and Matthew Stafford.

Without Johnson and Stafford, the Lions losing this past Sunday to the Forty-Niners would have been a non-event which would have deprived us all of the completely over-analyzed yet sort of awesome coach brawl between Jim Schwartz and Jim Harbaugh.

In this way, we were all winners of the Jamarcus error…I mean era.

The Falcons also ended up with their franchise quarterback thanks to Russell. Had the Raiders not drafted Russell in 2007, and remained as epically bad as they had been for one more year (see: Culpepper, Daunte; career stats of), they would have been in position to draft Matt Ryan in 2008. However, the Falcons were able to grab Ryan immediately in front of the Raiders.

Ryan has now led the Falcons to 2 playoff appearances and is well on his way to becoming the Philip Rivers of the NFC: solid stats, good regular season record, no post-season success.

Outside of the East Bay, the team that was damaged the most by Russell was the Redskins. When Mike Shanahan took over the Redskins, he was unsatisfied with the quarterbacks and immediately traded for Donovan McNabb who knew the Eagles were ready to start Kevin Kolb and wanted out of Philadelphia.

With McNabb now in Washington, the Redskins looked to trade starter Jason Campbell. Since Jamarcus had officially passed Ryan Leaf as the worst draft pick in history, the Raiders leapt at picking up Campbell, which they did for a 4^th round pick in the 2012 draft.

McNabb became such an epic failure in Washington that Rex Grossman was an appealing alternative. Now the Redskins look like a playoff contender at every position except quarterback where Rex Grossman battles John Beck to see who can break Jay Cutler’s single-game interception record.

If it weren’t for Jamarcus, the Redskins may not have found any takers for Campbell, he would have been back starting for the Skins by the middle of last season and the Redskins would be the favorites in the mediocre NFC East today.

In picking up McNabb, the Redskins sent 3 picks to the Eagles – resulting in current starters, safety Nate Allen, linebacker Casey Matthews and a 4^th round pick in this coming draft. Filling holes in the defense through the draft then enabled the Eagles to go out and spend their free agent money on the players that would become The Bad Dream Team.

With a 2-4 start and after watching Vince Young throw the worst pass of the season this past week, it is hard to say whether the Eagles were winners or losers of the Russell era.

Russell has left destruction in his wake everywhere he has gone. But if it weren’t for his embarrassing failure, the NFL would be very different from the one we know today.

And we haven’t even talked about what Lane Kiffin did to college football after he was forced out of Oakland, in part over his disagreement with Al Davis to play Russell.

Al Davis was famously eulogized over the last week regarding his immense impact on the sport of football.

But maybe, in drafting Jamarcus Russell, his last great impact hasn’t received enough attention.

We have reached the point in the season where all football fans fall into one of four categories.

The first group is the Confetti Orderers; fans whose teams look so strong that they can’t help but envision their team lifting a trophy while they reign down confetti on the heads of their friends. However, given the large percentage of these people that live in Wisconsin, they might want to also start envisioning a daily stroll around the block so that they don’t die of a heart attack from too many brats and beers before that moment gets here.

The second group are the Zip-a-Dee-Doo-Dahs; fans of teams that came into season with low expectations but have shown just enough promise that even if they aren’t championship caliber this season, they are competitive, fun and promise such a bright future that the fans feel like there are cartoon birds whistling around their heads all the time. These fans celebrate wins and shrug off losses – but always keep a grin on their face that makes them look like they just spent the night with Sophia Vergara.

I hate these people.

The third group are the Depressed Fishermen; fans of teams that have already failed and show little sign of improvement. These are the people that will constantly point to a close loss as the highlight of the season – the ‘one that got away’. Football fans, they still want to watch the season but every win by a rival or discussion of a loss by their team is like an X-acto knife to the shoulder.

If you can’t tell, this is where I sit. I will spend the rest of the year talking about the FSU’s loss to Oklahoma and how it changed the entire season and the miracle Tebow comeback against the Chargers that fell one mad scramble short of victory.

The Final Group are the Walking Dead; fans of teams so awful and depressing they have already given up on the season and spent more time last weekend thinking about Kim Kardashian’s wedding than football.

No matter which group you fall in as a fan though, you are still better off than another group about to get several new members: the Ex-Coaches. No, not a gang of bank robbers wearing rubber masks of Rich Rodriguez, Jim Tressell, Ralph Friedgen and Eric Mangini, but rather coaches that have been fired for having an underperforming team. Now is the time of year when this party grows by a few new members as owners and A.D.s get fed up with poor performance and decide now is time to make a change.

In honor of this soon-to-be-larger group, that is our theme for this week’s THH. Each match-up consists of 2 teams formerly coached the same person. Our question: which team would that ex-coach cheer for?

College:

Colorado vs. Washington (Rick Neuheisel)

I like to think when Rick Neuheisel left CU to take the job at UW he re-created one of my favorite movie scenes:

“I came to Washington for the sunshine.”

“But Rick, it rains here 9 months of the year.”

“I was mis-informed.”

Instead he left CU for the money and access to west coast players. Rick was fired from UW over money as well; in particular, his willingness to bet large amounts of it on a March Madness bracket. Credit where it is due though, Rick seems like the type of guy that picks lots of upsets – I bet he had a 10 seed in the Final Four. After that acrimonious exit, I think Rick is cheering on CU this weekend. Like when Steve Guttenberg left the Police Academy series, neither has ever been the same without the other.

Miami vs. UNC (Butch Davis)

When Davis was fired from UNC a couple months ago, I tweeted several times about how no coach has gotten a greater reputation from fewer results than Davis. He helped resurrect Miami after probation but after he left UM, Larry Coker went to 2 straight national title games – and he might have been dead for part of the second season. Davis went to Cleveland and proceeded to almost have a winning record. At UNC he had more talent than nearly team in the country (based on the NFL draft) and never did better than lose 4 games. In short, he turned around bad teams and made them mediocre, sort of like Ashton Kutcher’s impact on sitcoms. Since the U was where Davis first gained a reputation and its continued mediocrity makes him look retroactively better I think he cheers for them on Saturday.

NFL

San Francisco vs. Detroit (Steve Mariucci)

Until Jim Harbaugh commuted up the peninsula from Stanford and turned the Niners from annual underachievers into a legitimate force, Mariucci was the last successful coach at Candlestick Park; taking the Niners to the playoffs four times. In Detroit, his greatest accomplishment was putting Tom Izzo in the stands for the inevitable weekly discussion of the two being best friends. Because I can’t imagine anyone picking Detroit over San Francisco for any reason, I say Mooch is cheering on the Niners.

Dallas vs New England (Bill Parcells)

Bill Parcells might be the least likable but inordinately successful coach in football not named Nick Saban. While he never had the success with the Pats and Cowboys that he enjoyed with the Giants, he did take the Pats to the Super Bowl. He also got the Cowboys to the playoffs with Quincy Carter and Tony Romo at quarterback which is almost more improbable than Boise State becoming a college football power.

What Parcells does not get enough credit for is his pioneering work in the practice of temporary retirements. He ‘retired’ from the Giants, Patriots, Jets and Cowboys but kept returning to coaching. In this way, he really paved the way for the Favre circus of the last several years, which in my mind should be enough to keep him out of the Hall of Fame.

It says something that Parcells finally retired for good after less than a season of coaching Tony Romo and the first of Romo’s many pressure moment choke jobs when he muffed a hold for a field goal and lost to Seattle in the playoffs. If it hadn’t been for Romo, we might have another 5 years of Parcells unretiring every off-season. While we should cheer Romo for that, I have to imagine someone with the ego that Parcells does, misses the spotlight and blames Romo for it. For that reason he will cheer on the Pats this week.

Now that all but 2 teams have played their first pre-season games, we have settled back into the rhythm of preseason games.

Coaches look at preseason games as a delicate balancing act between getting their teams ready for the regular season while minimizing the possibility of losing a key player to injury before the real action has even begun.

This mind-set has led to a standard approach to playing time for starters:

Game #1 – One to two drives – just enough to re-acquaint the players with live game speed

Game #2 – One quarter – a couple drives to (hopefully) find a rhythm and burn the legs a little

Game #3 – At least the first half – closest simulation to a real game that we see before the defending champs kick-off on that Thursday night after Labor Day.

Game #4 – Almost none (older starters sit completely, younger starters get a few plays) – training camp work is done and it is too close to week #1 to risk injury

This approach to the preseason has become gospel – indoctrinated on page 14 of the NFL coaches’ handbook, right between ‘always advertise how often you sleep in the office’ (page 13) and ‘never admit a free agent signing was an epic Speed 2- like mistake’ (page 15). In a profession where conformity is all but mandatory, coaches follow this approach like sheep.

But what if it is 100% wrong?

In an unprecedented year in which there were no offseason workouts and free agency period was shorter than the Little League World Series, teams are struggling to get teams prepared in such a compressed time period.

Add in the new CBA which not only greatly restricts full pad practices but also puts limits on two-a-days and coaches are forced to try and do more work in less time.

Yes, a team can learn an offense conducting walk-throughs in shorts but can a coach actually evaluate his players based on that? This is how starting Andy Dalton at quarterback starts to look like a good idea.

I am all in favor of these new rules as I truly believe it can keep players fresher and reduce the possibility of injury, meaning my fantasy team will be that much more stable and better when fantasy playoffs start…I mean, teams are better prepared for the NFL playoffs.

But with the lack of off-season training, coaches need to take more advantage of preseason games than the official coaching approach dictates.

While watching Friday night’s Buccaneers/Chiefs game (glamorous life I lead, I know), the announcers made several notes about how long Raheem Morris was keeping his starters in the game. The first string played nearly the entire first half.

It was then that it dawned on me that Raheem has gotten considerably smarter since releasing Derrick Brooks upon being hired.  

Why wouldn’t coaches use the preseason games as replacements for the full speed practices they no longer can hold? If the number of full speed practices you can conduct has been drastically reduced, why not take advantage of the 4 full speed practices that the NFL will never remove? If the NFL is going to greedily make fans pay for practices, shouldn’t coaches at least get something out of them?

This is especially true with young teams (like the Bucs) or teams with new coaches. The Broncos starters are still trying to get accustomed to John Fox’s system, yet the starters were done Thursday night before the 2^nd Coors Light commercial. Why?

Some teams would argue their maturity and stability doesn’t require this approach, that health is more important than full speed reps. Tom Brady didn’t play at all the other night, presumably with this in mind. But with new receivers around him, it wouldn’t hurt to have some extra time working on their timing?

Some teams seem to have recognized this. The aforementioned Bucs. The Redskins left Rex Grossman in the game to attempt 26 passes; but most, have stuck with the default formula. Even the Browns with a young team and new coach couldn’t be bothered to ask Colt McCoy to attempt more than 10 passes. That isn’t a team that could use some extra practice together?

If it were up to me, I would argue that coaches should take this a step further and let their ‘starters’ play at the end of the game rather than the first. If starters are only playing 2 drives, isn’t it more valuable to see how they do in end0-of-game situations? Steven McGee’s game winning drive for the Cowboys was nice, but I am sure there are lots in the Lone Star state that would prefer to see if Tony Romo is capable of doing that.

Does this mean that teams that adopt the approach of letting starters play longer are destined for better seasons? Not necessarily – there are just too many variables over a 16-week season.

But if I am a betting man (ok, I AM a betting man), I sure would look twice at some of these teams in the first couple weeks of the season.

Remember when Peyton Manning missed the entire preseason in 2008? Even, the brainiest QB in the land needs time to find a rhythm with his receivers. The Colts started that season 1-2.

The Bucs are currently 3 point favorites at home over the Lions in week #1. Two young teams, that could be vying for sleeper team of the year accolades.

Perennially injured Lion QB Matt Stafford attempted 7 passes Friday night. He played 2 drives, a total of 11 plays and was wearing a ball cap with 10 minutes left in the 1^st quarter.

Josh Freeman attempted 13 passes on 5 drives for the Bucs and didn’t come off the field until there were less than 5 minutes remaining in the 2^nd quarter.

Who do you think might be better prepared for that first weekend?

Draft week is finally here; real, concrete news out of the NFL that is more about players than lawyers.

I know a bunch of lawyers. The last thing I want is lawyers to be the key players in my sports soap operas.

Strangely it is also the week in which NFL teams become most like politicians – you know – former lawyers that decided to ‘give back’ (i.e. – the power of running a firm full of other lawyers wasn’t enough for their massive egos). No matter what head-scratching moves a team makes in or leading up to the draft, the team will act like they just chose the right goblet from the Grail Knight.

On draft day, Cam Cameron acted like he sincerely believed one-legged Tim Ginn was the missing piece from a Dolphin Super Bowl run.

On draft day, the Forty-Niners convinced themselves Alex Smith was the heir apparent to Steve Young, rather than Jim Druckenmiller.

Draft day, where optimism really does spring eternal.

Of course, that isn’t the case. If history has taught us anything, it is that most of these high draft picks can at best aspire to an NFL career long enough to qualify them for a pension (assuming the NFLPA gets a pension in the coming labor agreement).

But that won’t stop each team from making the heartfelt case that the newest member of the organization will be the one hoisting the Lombardi trophy.

But which players will fail to meet those lofty expectations? I’m so excited for the draft I flew to Charlotte tonight to get the low-down on the first overall pick right from the source. Maybe its a sign, maybe it isn’t, but on the way in from the airport I saw a construction site at least 2 blocks long with a sign reading ‘Future Home of Cecil Newton’s Church That He Really Did Pay For All by Himself’.

Let’s go team by team through the first round and identify the players they should draft. I won’t pretend that I know what these teams will actually do, and have little evidence of teams following my advice (other than my epic guidance for the Jets to draft Mark Sanchez two years ago) but that doesn’t stop me from telling them what they should do.

And by ‘should do’ I mean ‘the draft pick that I think would be most fun for them to take’ not ‘will definitely make them better’.

#1 – Panthers – General consensus is that Cam Newton will be drafted by the Panthers. And who am I to argue. Jimmy Clausen has gotten his last two coaches fired, would you want him to be your franchise QB? Me neither. Some teams are scared off by Newton’s off-field transgressions (felonies, 3 schools in 3 years, transparent auctioning of his skills to the highest bidder), but I think Carolina is uniquely suited to ignore this. Their home state school is led by Butch Davis who has run a clean program once in his coaching career, when he coached the Browns, and we know how that turned out (24-34 record). If willing to hire a perennial cheat like Davis, I would imagine most North Carolinians would almost look with pride at Newton using the transfer payments he received to attend Auburn to help repair his father’s church.

#2 – Broncos – Marcel Dareus fits a glaring need for the Broncos along their defensive line. A glaring need that has been present for so long, it is almost becoming it’s own tradition unlike any other. Beside adding some size and skill to the  Broncos front line, I also like imagining John Fox (who isn’t the youngest coach in the league) and John Elway (who took his fair share of hits to the helmet) trying to keep Marcel Dareus and Darcel McBath straight.

#3 – Bills – You would think that as bad as the Bills have been for years, they would look for a flashy player – a quarterback or receiver to drum up interest among their bi-country fan base. However, they are smart and recognize a team should build from within. Offensive Line and defensive front seven. The Bills are so smart they have have a Harvard man under center! That is why they will grab potential superstar linebacker Von Miller from Texas A&M. Miller could be the best linebacker they have had since Cornelius Bennett played. A player taken when the Bills were led by another Harvard man, Marv Levy. See, with all these Ivy leaguers, the Bills are smart. They aren’t any good at football, but they sure are smart.  

#4 – Bengals – With both Chad Ochocinco Johnson Washedupo and Terrell Owens most likely on their way out of Cincy as soon as the Bengals are allowed to release them, it is important to get Jordan Palmer some help. You can’t go wrong with Julio Jones who looks like he has all the skills to be a star. This is such an obvious pick, that I hear VH1 has already contacted Julio about his own TV series.  I like to think the show is about Julio helping kids that get picked on at the playground to learn to stand up to bullies. Then they can call it ‘Me and Julio Down By the Schoolyard’.  

#5 – Cardinals – The Cardinals went from perennial Super Bowl contenders to the bottom of the worst division in the NFL when Kurt Warner decided he would rather dance on primetime than play for them. After a season of using quarterbacks that wouldn’t be hired to be Adam Sandler’s stunt double in The Longest Yard, the Cardinals need to grab Blaine Gabbert. He is a lock. What could go wrong with the Cardinals drafting a tall, immoble, white quarterback whose last name ends in ‘rt’?

#6 – Browns – AJ Green, the ridiculously talented wide out from Georgia fills a big hole for the Browns. Let’s just hope the Browns have better luck with him than the last WR they drafted known for his one-handed catches in college. Once Braylon Edwards got to Cleveland the only thing he could catch was pity and scorn from LeBron’s hangers-ons.

#7 – Forty-Niners – Unwilling to accept that the Alex Smith era is need of euthanization, the Forty-Niners continue to try and improve their defense to off-set Smith. To put some more skill in front of all-world linebacker Patrick Willis, the Niners should grab Robert Quinn. Sure, he didn’t play last season after taking illegal benefits from agents, but let’s face it, the Forty-Niners haven’t played for most of this decade. Call it a wash.

#8 – Titans – Still looking to replace Albert Haynesworth’s pass rush that jumped at Dan Snyder’s millions years ago, the Titans should reach for Cameron Jordan. Not only will he give them a edge pass rusher, but could open up a whole new population of potential season ticket holders, when frat boys from all over the south buy game tickets after hearing the Titans have acquired Jordan, assuming he is a former sorority girl that has joined the Titans cheerleading squad.  

#9 – Cowboys – There are three things Jerry Jones loves in this world. Meddling with his football team, bringing in players with questionable character and his alma mater Arkansas Razorbacks. I give you the perfect storm of Jones’ incompetence: Ryan Mallett.

#10 – Redskins – The Redskins need help everywhere except quarterback where Rex Grossmann looks to be a perennial Pro Bowler. I see them going for defense – specifically Prince Amukamara. As every Bronco fan remembers, Mike Shanahan has a fetish for drafting cornerbacks. Also, I think of this as tossing a bone to the idiot Birther movement. Just think of the jokes they can make with a guy whose name sounds like African royalty in the same city as President Obama. Those jokes would probably be hilarious. At least to other people dumb enough to be birthers.

#11 – Texans – In the mistaken belief that their offense isn’t a problem, the Texans should look to add more playmakers on defense so this can be the year they finally live up to their annual sleeper contender status. Justin Houston, a linebacker out of Georgia is the perfect fit. 6’3”, 270 pounds with a 4.6 40-yard dash. Plus his last name is Houston! And coming from Georgia he is accustomed to his team failing to meet overblown pre-season expectations.

#12 – Vikings – It looks like it might finally be the end of the Favre era. Let’s all commemorate the falling of an American hero, by pouring our Vicodin out on the curb. Needing a replacement for Favre, the Vikings should turn to Andy Dalton. Sure, there are some concerns his red hair may prevent him from succeeding in the pros, but with the Vikings playing in a dome and Minnesota’s long winters at least we won’t have to worry about Dalton failing because of the sun’s debilitating effects on his fair skin.

#13 – Lions – After just 3 or 4 games, the injury bug impacted Jahvid Best’s rookie campaign for the Lions last year and resurrected concerns about him from college that he can’t stay healthy. If Matt Millen were still in charge he would just go draft Ryan Williams this year despite taking a running back last year. Millen already had experience blowing a draft pick on an overrated Va Tech running back when he took Kevin Jones in 2004. Sigh, I miss Matt Millen.

#14 – Rams – New Rams owner Stan Kroenke wants to make a big splash with his first draft. He wants to make the big-name pick that will draw attention back from the Cardinals and Albert Pujols’ on-going contract drama. Most importantly he wants to help 2^nd year quarterback Sam Bradford. What name makes the most sense to draw excitement to the Rams? If I have said it once, I have said it never, nothing gets fans excited like an offensive lineman from Wisconsin. Gabe Carimi is just the man to get the City by the Arch talking.

#15 – Dolphins – The Dolphins just can’t trust injury-prone Ronnie Brown or mellow-dude Ricky Williams to handle the running game. It is time to start finding young legs to take some of the load. Bruising, consistent Mark Ingram would be the perfect answer but I can’t be the only one thinking that giving Mark Ingram Senior an excuse to visit Miami is a bad idea if we want to win the War On Drugs.

#16 – Jaguars – After years of drafting bustastic wide receivers in the first round, the Jaguars are finally starting to build their defense so that they can still win games, while their perennially mediocre offense sputters along and their fan base continues to shrink. To help both problems, the Jags can draft Jimmy Smith out of CU. Not only will he solidify the Jags’ secondary, but Jags fans can just recycle their old wide receiver Jimmy Smith jerseys and reminisce about the good old days when they were relevant.

We will back to finish out the rest of the first round later this week.