For years I have half-jokingly suggested that football is my religion.

When you grow in the Elway-era city of Denver you get baptized early in the Broncos faith. Saturdays would be spent watching the option attacks of Oklahoma and Nebraska steam-roll everyone (other than Miami of course) and then Sundays were set aside for Dick Enberg and Merlin Olsen sermonizing about the Broncos. Steve Sewell, the Three Amigos, Sammy Winder, Dennis Smith, Karl Mecklenberg and Steve Watson were my apostles.

After my own football career ended on a frozen field shouting distance from Folsom Field in Boulder one dark, numb night in November 1992, I converted my football faith to the Seminoles. I never left the Broncos but like one of those new-agers that isn’t sure if they should worship Ganesh or Buddha so they worship both, the Seminoles joined the Broncos on my personal Mount Olympus.

Today, my Sunday morning ritual involves the scripture of the Denver Post sports section and then some confessional time with my fantasy team.

But this year feels a little different.

For some reason my 2010 football season has been defined by religion. And not in the “Please lord, let the FSU kicker make this field goal” kind of way.

It started all the way back in the spring, when my Broncos traded up to draft the youngest son of God. Suddenly there was a belief that even if he can’t complete a dump-off pass to the tail back, he will at least bring HIM to the side of the Broncos.

Then in the first month of the season, I ended up going to India. On my one day playing tourist there we visited a temple in the heart of Hyderabad. I made an offering to a God and received holy water in return.

Finally, this week while in San Jose for work I ended up in the same hotel as the Dalai Lama. Beyond making me realize not a single one of my friends is capable of speaking of the Dalai Lama without quoting Caddyshack, it almost made me think about our weekly exercise here.

Why should I hate? Shouldn’t I love? Regardless of the jerseys they are wearing these young men are sacrificing for me and you.  Even if just for our entertainment, it is still a sacrifice for us.

Should we really hate? Shouldn’t we instead love and appreciate each and every person playing the game we love?

What am I doing with my life? Isn’t there a higher reason for my time on this earth than to simply watch and make fun of an ultimately meaningless game?

How can I tell you to hate any of these teams, when I love the game they play? I shouldn’t be happy when both UF and Miami lose on Friday and the both the Chargers and Chiefs lose on Sunday. I should just say thanks….

Ahh, screw it. Hate is part of what makes the world go round. And if anyone in the world understands hate it is the very religions whose followers twist their messages to fuel hatred of people different themselves.

Besides I am pretty sure that holy water in India made me sick.

Shadow: After my typical long hangover from Vegas weekend, I confidently return to the land of hate.  It helps that I am currently sitting in a hotel room in Lincoln on the Thursday before a huge home game.  The hotel is full of out-of-town Husker and Longhorn fans.  Hard to decide which is worse.  They say that Memorial Stadium on game days is the 3^rd largest city in Nebraska.  I am not sure who “they” are, but I do know that “I” do not need useless trivia like that banging around my head.  I need all the room I can get for random Seinfeld references, images of puppies (not the 4-legged variety), and blackjack strategy.  (Blackjack strategy tip #741:  Do not bet $150 when the dealer is going to have Blackjack)

Ok, in the spirit of the confessional, I have something I must admit. As you may have noticed it has been a little tough to get both Turner and Shadow to participate in our weekly fun here. Well, there is a good reason for that: they are actually the same person. For the longest time, he was willing to write 2 separate THHs each week but lately has not.

At least this explains one thing I am sure none of you could ever understand: how the Shadow chose to root for OU in the OU/FSU game.

 College

Boise State @ San Jose State

SD: We have gone literal with our college match-ups this week. Each match-up features teams whose naming conventions are similar but also relatively unique. Here we have schools that start their name with their home city and then paradoxically follow it with the phrase ‘State University’. I will side Boise in this one because, let’s face it, Boise pretty much is the state of Idaho (sorry Mark Schlereth). What else is there outside of Boise? Jake Plummer’s Handball court? Well, Jake Plummer’s Handball Court State University sounds even more ridiculous than Boise State.

Shadow: SD said there was some sort of magic easily discerned link between these games.  I have seen this movie before, and it doesn’t end well.  It ends with SD arguing with me and Turner about what constitutes “easily discerned links”.  So I refuse to play his reindeer game and will not hazard a guess at the link.

Seeing as how I am travelling to Boise next Wednesday, and will be bombarded with unhealthy doses of Bronco adoration, I am preemptively hating on Boise State this weekend.  As much as I would like to see the BCS busted, BSU fans are kind of starting to be really, really annoying.  I know people say it’s not their fault their schedule only has a couple of tough games on it…but I can’t help but think, like many others, that this team would not survive a major conference schedule unscathed each year.

UTEP @ UAB

SD: For this alphabet soup matchup we have schools that try to differentiate themselves from their top ranked football factory neighbors (ok, maybe not top ranked this year) by adding their specific home city to the rest of the state school name. I am cheering on UTEP here because when pronounced U-tep always makes me think of some long lost Indian tribe roaming the hills of Northern Mexico. U-ab just sounds like the only college in America that would accept The Situation as a student. This joke brought to you by Jay Leno.

Shadow: Come on, this one is a gimme.  In a week when the Chilean miners are rescued from their mine (and with a nod to the Sklar Brothers…they had to be banking some massive OT on that endeavor), there is no way you can’t be with UTEP in this game.  The Blazers don’t stand a chance.

NFL

Dallas @ Minnesota

SD: I am calling this the Over/Under bowl. Not as some sort of shout out to my recent time in Vegas. Instead it is because both of these quarterbacks are overrated and overexposed (in the literal and figurative sense). They just aren’t worthy of the time spent discussing them. On the other side you have two of the most underwhelming head coaches in the NFL. I will cheer on the Cowboys because they have been uncharacteristically under the radar this year. Plus Wade Phillips seems like a nice enough guy – someone who could end up playing Santa in the mall when he gets canned later this season. Brad Childress looks like the kind of guy that no one wants near a large group of children.

Shadow: The best part of this game is that one of these teams will be 1-4.  Who do I hate more?  Self-professed America’s team with their QB who can’t win the important games, or the Vikings with their QB who needed to retire 3 years ago, and who has now not only destroyed some of his football legacy by hanging on too long, but also has destroyed some of his good-guy-family-man image with his attempted fling with Sterger’s puppies.  Brett- if you had retired to your Hattiesburg farm when you should have, you would be a revered gunslinger who rode off into the sunset.  Now you are simply a caricature, and not a very interesting one at that.  I can’t believe I am actually going to have to pull for the Cowboys…..but I guess that is what THH is all about.

Miami @ Green Bay

SD: Years ago this could have been a match-up of arguably the 2 greatest quarterbacks in NFL history: Dan Marino and Brett Favre. I say arguably because I have had this argument many, many times. Though I make the argument John Elway’s combination of wins and stats makes him the greatest, there is an argument made by others that Dan Marino is the greatest of all time because of his stats. That was until Favre passed all of his records. Now, I guess if you have been on the Marino bandwagon for all of these years, you have to switch to Favre. Of course when I posed this to life-long Dolphins fan and Marino partisan Doug, he pointed out 2 things. Marino wouldn’t have thrown that pick-6 to end the game at the Jets. And Sterger totally would have reciprocated if Marino made the moves on her. He has a point. How could a woman turn down a nice pair of Isotoners? In honor of that – go Dolphins.

Shadow: Favre’s replacement in GB is having no problems filling the shoes he reluctantly left behind.  I actually find myself watching Packer games and pulling for them a little (especially when I have money on them….grrr….thanks for not covering against the Detroit Kittens).  Costing me money beside the point, nothing GB could do would be enough to overcome my hate for a particular Dolphin who’s name rhymes with Randon Arshall.  As happy as I am that the Broncos passing attack is still as healthy as it ever was….I do have to wonder what could be if B-Marsh hadn’t gotten his panties in a bunch and whined his way out of the Mile High City.  As long as he is a member of the Dolphins….I will hate that franchise.  Go Pack!

Last week, to my immense excitement, the new Chuck Klosterman book arrived that I had pre-ordered from Amazon months ago (memo to the FTC: I paid for this book, I was not given a free book for this endorsement. Unfortunately). As I sit on a plane from San Francisco back to a Denver that has been swallowed by a couple feet of snow, the book couldn’t be timelier for a couple reasons.

The first is that, once the book arrived I was almost hesitant to begin reading. Like a kid staring at his presents on Christmas morning (a snowy Christmas morning – get it?), I was afraid to start because as I knew as soon as I started I would be that much closer to the end.

The second reason is that one of the chapters is a discussion of time travel, and as I am currently on a plane traveling from a perfect early fall California day and landing a short two hours later in the dead of winter, I am a firm believer in time travel at the moment.  I guess the real question is whether there will be another Dave waiting for me and whether I will like him or think him a pompous ass, like most of you probably do.

Anyway, as I haven’t quite finished Chuck’s chapter on football so I will keep this week’s THH short, so I can get back to it. Also, due to a minor scheduling error on my part, we are sticking to only the college kids. Don’t ask, just know that I am a moron.

NOTE: If you are wondering why we are so late this week, read on and you may be able to determine where the fault lies.

Turner: Hello Readers… this week’s THH comes to you on Sat. morning as I’ve just come off completely wiping out SuperDave’s financial dreams on a Full House last night at the Shadow’s home poker game.  While the first game ended in disaster for ol’ Turner (Thanks to the Shadow’s Flush from no where), the 2^nd game was complete dominance.  The highlight was taking down the Shadow’s brother-in-law with a 4 of a kind (God Bless 7’s).  We are now prepared for Vegas.  Hello tournament poker, Turner’s game is on.  Speaking of on, how about those Sooners!!   Ok – no one cares but at least they didn’t dip below .500.  This week we get the Big XII North leading KSU Wildcats (yes I just wrote that even though they lost to Louisiana Monroe) but to get to play Bill Snyder on Halloween is somewhat appropriate since they brought him back from the dead to coach.   Big game is needed b/c likely with an OU win, that puts them in Primetime next week in Lincoln, NE where I will be making my first visit to Memorial Stadium to watch that ‘football’ team that I’ve hated for so many years (i.e.Tommy Frazier, Eric Crouch, Johnny Rodgers, etc……)

So the next 2 weeks shall be exciting with live blogs coming from Boise, ID, Lincoln, NE, and yes, the semi-annual trip to Las Vegas coming.   We will be putting Bill Simmons to shame.

Shadow: As I write this week’s THH, the Yankees have just tied up the World Series at one game apiece.  So far the Series has been all about dominating pitching (everyone outside of the Yankee middle relievers).  Iowa finally has a pretty straightforward “game they should win” this weekend against Indiana, but the Broncos face a test in those Ravens.  The Avs are off to their best start in a long time, and the Nuggets are 1-0.  One of two things is occurring here:  1) The world is ending…..and soon!  2) The Shadow is being set up to lay a lot of money on the line in Vegas in two weeks and watch it go bye-bye.  Either way…something has to give eventually.

College

UAB @ UTEP

SD: For college games this week I am going with teams with similar themes in their school names. This game, beside looking very much like an eye chart or a text message from a 14 year old girl pairs two schools named for a state AND a city. Most likely this was forced upon them by their uppity cousins currently ranked in the top 5 (can’t you imagine some Longhorn:”Oh no, I go to the THE Univeristy of Texas), but it is still pretty unique. I think I am going with UTEP on this one. Mostly because I like how they have embraced their unnaturally extended nickname and actually turned it into a word. U-tep, not U-T-E-P. Yes, Utep sounds a little like a long lost tribe of Indians from Mexico, but it is much better than U-A-B. Which is just D-U-M-B.

Turner: This one is the battle of ex coaches that ‘tried’ to lead real teams….  We have that great Mike Price experiment at Alabama that ended in strippers, a sex club and a $20M lawsuit.  Then we have Watson Brown (no longer a Blazer) who tried to lead the Oklahoma offense for a few years before someone had the great idea that he should actually lead the program.  While he did turn around UAB, he was part of the darkest history of OU football and was able to lead the offense about as well as Chris Weinke and the FSU Seminoles in the 2000 National championship game.  Have to give Mike Price the lead on this one for story line, utilizing the ‘benefits’ of a head coaching position and enjoying life….  Oh, yes, he didn’t take down the greatest football program in history.  Poor Watson has another issue facing him, his brother….  That was enough for the hatred.  Go Miners!!

Shadow: I just can’t stand those Old El Paso commercials where some actors pretending it is the old west and mocking someone who likes Salsa made in New York City.  New York City?  Lame commercials.  I now hate anything connected to El Paso, including UTEP.  Go Blazers.

Middle Tennessee State @ Florida Atlantic

SD: I love the vaguely directional names of each of these schools. Not content with a simple ‘north’ or ‘south’ MTSU and FAU have gone the extra mile and picked a directional identifier that only sort of tells you where it is. I have to go with FAU on this one. Sure, Atlantic doesn’t exactly narrow down the school’s location in a state with a long Atlantic coast line but it is major improvement over the ridiculously vague ‘middle’. Isn’t that pretty much anywhere not right on the border? And given its’ location in the USA, couldn’t ALL of Tennessee be described as ‘middle’. Sorry, Blue Raiders that is just lazy.

As a side-note. Don’t worry there won’t be any more gratuitous plugs for Klosterman’s book next week. Though I should warn you that Bill Simmons’ Book of Basketball arrives this week (fully paid for FTC!), so you can probably expect a lot of David Thompson and Wes Unseld references soon.

Turner: Is it possible that SD knew what he was doing? He threw the Howard Schnellenberger Era into this THH.  Another failed OU experiment AND a Miami head coach.  I don’t need to write anymore on this one….  GO MTSU

Shadow: The Sun Belt.  Middle Tennessee is somewhat in the middle of Tennessee and Florida Atlantic is actually in Florida and on the Atlantic ocean.  So, at lease they have that going for them.  FAU was originally started in Boca Raton.  Mouth of the Mouse?  Here is a fact you may not know about Boca Raton.  It is known as the Spam capitol of the world due the amount of spam email that is generated from there.  I hate Spam (all varieties really).  Go MTSU!