I want to make jokes.

That is what I do. When I see a story, especially in sports, I naturally want to make light of it. I want to enjoy it and unconsciously remind myself and the 3 or 4 people in my orbit that sports are meant to be fun.

Cecil Newton auctioning his son’s talents or Terelle Pryor bartering Ohio State jerseys for free tattoos are not the same as genocide or democratic uprisings. A 4’ 3” tall guy buying the friendship of Miami football players by procuring prostitutes and engagement rings for them is inherently funny. Unless you are a fan of Miami.

But there are no jokes about the situation at Penn State.

What Jerry Sandusky is reported to have done is so outrageous and vile, it is beyond comprehension. I have no children but if someone did one-third of the things Sandusky is accused of to one of my nieces or nephew I would hunt him down and do to him with a baseball bat what he did to some of those little boys.

Bu I am not here to break new details or express outrage, there are plenty of people much more qualifying than I for that. I am more interested in a simple question: why did his superiors not do anything about it?

And, to me, when all of the analysis, detail and legal obfuscation is pulled away, it comes down to one simple fact.

They didn’t do anything, because they thought they were bigger than it.

Joe Paterno has been the king of State College since before many retirees were even born. Actually, strike the word ‘king’. Pope is much more accurate in many ways; as the Middle East has shown it is quite easy to depose the leader of a state. Much less so, the leader of a religion.

Paterno was bigger than any mayor, sheriff, college president or athletic director to come and go through Happy Valley. He put Penn State on the map and was still the sole reason many people even know the name State College.

When living in a small, secluded place for so many years, surrounded by acolytes it is easy to see how Joe would start to see himself as greater than any around him.

He may play the role of the awe-shucks simpleton, but no one keeps a highly competitive job into his 80’s without a level of ruthlessness.

In fact, Joe’s longevity seems to be a perfect illustration of his belief that he is more important than any others around him. If you truly believe, at 84 years old, you are still the most capable person for a job and can’t imagine walking away, then it is a short walk for your ego to believe that something is right, solely because you think it.

So when allegations are made against a long time colleague, even when repeated several times over many years, it is easy to see JoePa thinking that if he wanted it to quietly go away, it would. Paterno and the administration clearly believed that they answered to no one else. Who could possibly bring them to account. They owned that school and, therefore, the town. If they decided that it was best to quietly admonish a child predator and that an adequate punishment for him was taking away his personal keys to the locker room, who could tell them otherwise.

Well, now they know.

Paterno’s legacy is in ruins. He hung around a decade too long, solely to satisfy his ego, and all of his accomplishments before that time are tarnished by the atrocities of the man standing next to him on the sideline.

Paterno is not alone in believing that as a football coach he is greater than others around him, of course. The same hubris ended Jim Tressell’s career. It pains me to say, but Bobby Bowden also had reached that point before a coup pushed him out. Urban Meyer oversaw a team responsible for over 20 crimes during his time in Gainesville, yet never felt any impetus to do anything about it until losses started to pile up. There is little doubt in my mind Nick Saban feels the same.

I don’t mean to imply any of these others would allow a predator of children to roam free for over a decade as JoePa has apparently done, but when you are the highest paid, most visible and most revered man in a small community it doesn’t take long to lose some perspective on your real importance and fundamental right and wrong.

Joe Paterno is almost solely responsible for the construction of Penn State as it currently exists.

It appears he is also going to be culpable in its destruction.

Tomorrow morning, Turner and I jump on the private profootballblogger.com jet and head down to OKC, so my hatred is a little focused on one particular team this week, even if certain Hawkeye fans didn’t join me on this bandwagon. It is hard to worry about any other games or teams around the country with this epic collision less than two days away.

Anyway, with my eyes set on the Game in Norman on Saturday, I am having trouble spreading the hate. So, let’s turn that frown outside down and ac-cen-tuate a positive. You may be able to discern my picking criteria barring you didn’t go to the only school laughed at by the remedial classes at DeVry. Also known as the University of Oklahoma.

Turner: I’m sorry but I can’t do an intro tonight.  Besides my physical ailments, I’m just depressed heading into this weekend of football.  Painkillers, the fear of alcohol and my team sucking, it is just draining.  I really just look forward to a good weekend with my dear friend Super Dave and may the best team wearing Crimson and Cream win.

Shadow: Well, after rendering “The Decision” I have found myself to be on an island of solitude and have become an object of hate myself for SD and Turner.  Perhaps next year they will simply let the game in Florida be picked by “Bubby the Wonder Rat”.  Looking forward to a big second weekend of college football with Iowa having its annual rivalry game with those Cyclones, and watching the OU/FSU game trying to catch a peek of our intrepid blogster and his pal in the stands.  I asked SD to go to the game in full Chief Osceola regale so I can pick him out easier, but not sure if he is going to comply.  Especially after I did not pick his Seminoles.  On to this week’s slate of hate.

College:

Penn State @ Bama

SD: Alabama last played Oklahoma in an early season game in 2002. OU won and featured both Nate Hybil and Jason White playing quarterback for OU (an eerie preview of the afternoon shift at the Norman Best Buy this Sunday afternoon when Jason will manage the registers and Nate will oversee big screen TVs). Penn State played my Noles in two bowls in the last couple decades. Losing to the Noles in 1990 and then beating the Noles in triple-OT in the 2006 Orange Bowl. I would hold a grudge but FSU didn’t deserve to be in a BCS bowl that year and they nearly (should have) beat a Penn State team whose fans until a late season loss thought they deserved a shot at the national title. That kind of naivety is kind of endearing. Go Fighting Paternos.

Turner: Painful choice, dislike for Jo Pa and Saban, dislike for fan bases and generally every category.  Let’s just go to the default, if I were to attend a game in January at either location, which would I prefer?  Bama of course.  Blondes in white / red t-shirts vs. Brunette’s in large puffy jackets.  Roll Tide.

Shadow: Pretty easy to believe that Joe Pa probably thinks he is heading down to face Bear Bryant.   At least Bobby B. left with a little dignity intact.  Joe Pa really should have stepped down years ago.  But, as easy as it is to hate on a Big-10 rival of the Hawkeyes, I always reserve a healthy dose of hate for whomever the current champion is, and so the Crimson Tide and their slimeball coach make me see crimson this year.  I will put my support in Linebacker (and RB bust) U.

Oregon @ Tennessee

SD: In 2006, Oregon beat Oklahoma thanks to the worst piece of officiating ever seen not involving a World Cup referee. At the time, I was appalled; today, I love it. Tennessee on the other hand beat my Seminoles in the inaugural 1998 BCS title game. Go Ducks!

Turner: How can a Dooley coach the Volunteers?  That is like saying a Stoops brother is going to coach at FSU. Oh, wait, hmmmmm.  Traitor.  The fluorescent Yellow is always better than that shade of orange they parade out in Knoxville. Duck go quakkkkky this weekend.

Shadow: Ducks jettison a QB of questionable character and the Vols lose a coach of questionable character.  I think only one of these teams is truly improved by these changes.  I also have a healthy dose of hate for Oregon because I think they leaped way too many spots in the polls this week, just by beating up on a crappy New Mexico team.  Looks like after I get done singing Boomer Sooner, I will need to break into Rocky Top.  Go Vols.

NFL:

Falcons @ Steelers

SD: The Steelers have 2 Seminoles on their roster. The Falcons also have 2 Seminoles but balance that excellence with 2 Sooners. Nice try, Falcons. I can respect balance but not as much as the Seminole love emanating out of Pittsburgh. My guess is that Big Ben likes having all those Seminoles around just to introduce him to FSU co-eds but I find it is best to not too many questions of Big Ben lest I too get dragged into a backroom. Go Steelers.

Turner: How can one not like ATL? I use to hate on Vick but those dawg-days are long gone.  I’m so sick of Head and Shoulder’s commercials and listing to the apologies and now the revered Big Ben who has transformed himself into the future Tim Tebow is sickening.  Matt Ryan, America’s stereotypical QB has to get the love this week.

Shadow: I think SD teed up this week’s NFL THH so I don’t have to write anything.   I hate Pittsburgh.  For more info, please see 2010 THH Intro Blog.  Thanks.

Bengals @ Patriots

SD: The Bengals have two Sooners on their team. The Patriots initially appeared to have no Sooners or Seminoles on their roster but after the Broncos grievous mistake of waiving Seminole and PFB favorite Tony Carter, the Patriots picked him up. The team to pick up TC versus a team with two Sooners and no Noles? No contest. If this game were a car accident, the Patriots would be a multi-millionaire married to a super model who walks away and plays in a football practice that afternoon while the Bengals would be a dude with a bloody head that had to be pried from his car by the jars of life and taken to the hospital.

Turner: Not sure how SuperDave put Cincy on the list.  I feel an explosion with Moss, TO and Ocho on the field together this week.  Thank goodness that Wes Welker (product of Oklahoma City) will be there to display real character.  The real question is how long till the explosion occurs, 3 quarters, two games, the whole season?  I put it at 3.25 games.  I have a bit of love for NE this year, only due to one word (ok two words)… FANTASY and BRADY. I need to ride that pony all season long and I can’t start it out with Hate. (just like Brady shouldn’t hate the Jets, that is not nice to use that H word).

Shadow: Please see above entry.  I hate NE.  The only thing stopping me from wishing Mop Top had actually broken his leg in the car accident today is the fact that Turner drafted him in fantasy, and I don’t want him to face the same thing I faced 2 years ago with wasting a pick on a Brady who saw no real action.  Pretty sure Cincy’s egos can’t possibly all fit in their locker room, but will cheer them on this weekend anyway.

Well, that is the end of our abbreviated THH to celebrate week #1 of the NFL and week #2 of the college kids so Turner and I can head on south to Oklahoma. If you are in Norman, let us know (unless your name is Nate Hybil or Jason White). If not, check back next week for a re-cap of our big weekend. You can also get real-time updates (and more frequently, real-time Oklahoma jokes) from me all weekend on twitter (@pfbsuperdave). For the Sooner perspective you can check in with Turner (@jturn91). He has one of those fancy phones so he might even be able to Tweet pictures as the tears stream down his face into his Landry Jones Memorial moustaches at the end of the game.

You may remember this past summer, when Michael Jackson and Steve McNair died in the span of just a few days, I wrote a column about how the way someone dies shouldn’t overshadow the way they lived.

Well, in a slightly less lethal way, I was reminded of that lesson this week. You see, Mickey Andrews confirmed the worst kept secret in Tallahassee not involving Charlie Crist’s sex life. After 26 years with the Noles, Andrews, the defensive coordinator is retiring. While the myopic may look at the Noles giving up 34, 28, 44, 27 and 42 points already this season and say ‘well, he was going whether he wanted to or not’, it is only appropriate to take a step back and appreciate Andrews’ entire career.

Not only was Andrews’ defense the real key to making the Noles the best team in college football  for about a decade and a half (quick – how many quarterbacks can you name for the Noles from 1987 – 2000?) but he also helped teach some of the greatest defensive players in the game. Deion Sanders, Derrick Brooks – two of the best players at their position in the history of the sport learned from Andrews. And, given their off-the-field personalities, it is pretty clear Andrews is not a coach that requires mindless automatons unlike some other less flexible coaches. Add in other players like Terrell Buckley, LeRoy Butler, Marvin Jones, Pete Boulware, Bryant McFadden, Chris Hope, Lawrence Timmons, Darnell Dockett, Antonio Cromartie – Andrews has been responsible for more great players than Nick Saban, Pete Carroll and Jim Tressell combined.

While I may mock and curse the Noles disappointing performance this year, that doesn’t mean I have anything but respect for Mickey. So, enjoy your retirement Mickey.

Next year, you can join the rest of us in complaining about the Noles disappointing performance.

While, I am stuck working in San Francisco for the weekend, Turner and the Shadow have roadtripped to Lincoln for the OU/NU game. Sadly, they are only 24 years too late for it to really matter but never-the-less I am probably the first person mad to be stuck in San Francisco rather than Lincoln for the weekend.

Turner: Wednesday Nov 5^th:

From 30,000 feet above the great beige landscape of Wyoming, we are coming to you with the weekly edition of THH.  I’m a bit concerned about our readership as no one asked the question of why there were no NFL games?  I’m sure SuperDave will admit to his careless attention to detail and lack of focus of quality on this over-read blog.

The week thus far has consisted of Boise, ID.  Let me tell you of the GREATEST invention ever….Fry Sauce…… I will likely be starting a “frysauceblog” to rate and gather scientific information about the concoction of mayonnaise, ketchup, paprika, and horseradish (just one recipe) that might be the most heavenly thing since, well, hmmmmmm……. I’m not sure if there is a comparison.   Apparently this is a Northwest (or at least Idaho) thing.  Every restaurant has their own recipe and fast food restaurants carry it as part of their standard condiment package.  As the Shadow will attest, I found this one of the most amazing creations ever created.  So I have a new endeavor in life, and that is to spread the greatness of Fry Sauce to the rest of America.  If you haven’t tried, please use this opportunity to experience the essence of why food was put on this earth.   A condiment that can double as ‘soup’ and be eaten alone is truly a National Treasure.   

If you are a facebook aficionado (like SuperDave just became!) please visit the official site…

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Fry-Sauce/74421423291?v=feed&story_fbid=116075066313

Thursday Nov 6^th:

We aren’t quite in the air any more and we aren’t quite ready for football picks… We just passed the sign on Interstate 80 for the Original Pony Express Station somewhere in Western Nebraska.  The Shadow is flying at 80 mph in our Pontiac G6 while we listen to his variety of Taylor Swift, Def Leopard, Michael Jackson, and Tiffany.  Yes, I’m stuck in this silver bullet absolutely dying right now.  He took control of the radio and will not relinquish it.  The other issue I’m facing is that the Shadow will not turn on the in-car circulation and if you have every been to NE Colorado or Western Nebraska (or any of Nebraska), the putrid smell of cow manure has officially been absorbed into my OKC Thunder T-shirt and hair follicles.  I’m pretty sure if I’m suggest to a drug test over the next 6 months, I might fail b/c what has been absorbed into my system….. With that I must quickly supply a very short explanation b/c I am losing all oxygen b/c I officially can not breathe. This might be the last you’ll ever hear from me so I’m giving the Shadow my credentials to send this message upon my death.  It has been a good ride…. MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Shadow: People always give me crap for being a Yankee fan.  My first actual memories of baseball are from the Bucky Dent game in 1978, when I was 6 years old and sitting in the kitchen watching a tiny black and white TV with my dad, who was a big Yankees fan.  It was only natural that I would become one as well, and as I have told many friends over the years, I had to go from 1978-1996 before I got to witness another World Series victory, so don’t give me any sh*t about being some late ’90′s bandwagoner.  That being said, I am lucky enough to have gotten to enjoy 5 titles in the last 13 years, and have enjoyed every minute of it.  The Yankees have the most money, blah, blah, blah, blah.  Yeah, and I wish Iowa could recruit blue chips from the Southeast or California or Texas.   Every sport, although maybe Pro Football the least, has some sort of talent disparity, if not payroll disparity.  Get over it.  Okay, now that the rant is out of the way, I can try and summon up the hatred.

College

LSU @ Alabama

SD: This week, rather than coming up with some obscure reason to pick rooting interests in games no one actually cares about, we are entering the heavyweight division. We are picking the two biggest games of the week. First stop Tuscaloosa. I could argue that I am picking LSU because I don’t think Alabama can beat UF and I want to minimize the inevitable win for UF in the SEC title game. I could say that rather than hearing about Bama and UF playing a playoff game for the BCS title game in the SEC title game will drive me insane and a foregone conclusion of LSU losing again to UF would be much easier to digest. I could argue all of these things but really I am cheering for LSU because I have always felt that the fans of Baton Rouge were kindred spirits and even more importantly, because I would love to get more kindred with the female spirits of LSU, if you know what I mean. Oh yeah, and I hate Nick Saban.

Turner: Air Boats and Creole over Winnebago’s and BBQ

Shadow: With my Hawkeyes perched where they have never flown before in the BCS standings, it is only natural that all of my hatred is squarely focused on the three teams ahead of them, one of which is the Crimson Tide.  Every week I am hoping for a loss from Bama, and every week I am disappointed.  I am pulling for the Tigers here.

Ohio State @ Penn State

SD: In just about every other year, this game would be to decide who gets to go to the Rose Bowl (or BCS Title game) and get slaughtered by a more athletic team from the west or south. This year, however – thanks to Shadow’s boys from the creatively named Iowa City –  it is really only to decide who will take the lead in the recruiting battle for some ‘athletic’ (meaning athletic relative to the rest of his state) high school senior from either Ohio or Pennsylvania that will be the next savior of the Big Ten to come in and not really do much. Call it the Terrelle Pryor bowl. So, which fanbase takes the lead in the sweepstakes to mutter ‘damn, another fumble, at least it wasn’t another interception’ each week for the next half-decade? I will go with Ohio State only because it is always fun to watch Kirk Herbstreit try and rationalize how OSU is athletic enough this year to compete, when they never are.

Turner: On this one, the pick is for the Shadow… We need to fully root for PSU on this one so that in the event that Iowa ‘may’ (but definitely won’t) stumble against Ohio State in 2 weeks, the Hawkeyes still get to go to the Rose Bowl (with easy wins against Northwestern and Minnesota!!)  Ideally, they will be undefeated but this White Out win at least will guarantee the Rose Bowl for the Shadow, which he said he would attend!

Shadow: This one is going to be very petty and very self-serving.  I want Iowa to go undefeated.  If that is not going to happen, then I want them to win the Big 10 and play in the Rose Bowl for only the 3rd time while I have been cognizant of college football.  Both of the last two times (1985 and 1990) were utter failures.  I want them to go to the Rose Bowl and kick the ass of some Pac-10 team like we kick the ass of SEC teams in bowls.  We hold a win over Penn State.  We play Ohio State next week.  If Penn State beats Ohio State, then technically we could still lose to Ohio State and win the Big 10 based on them having 2 losses and us owning a win over Penn State.  So for this weekend, I am totally a supporter of Linebacker U.

NFL

Tennessee @ San Francisco

SD: My secret theme this week in the NFL is simple. Music. We are again visiting Tennessee (or the middle) but this time they are representing country music. San Fran, of course, is the home or adopted home of almost every important 60’s band. Despite reading Chuck Klosterman’s chapter on the retrospectively weird Garth Brooks /Chris Gaines experiment last week, I have to go with San Francisco. The Dead or the Gaitlin Brothers? Minnie Pearl or Janice Joplin? Grand Ole Opry or the Fillmore? Hee Haw or the Electic Kool Aid Acid Test? Please.

Turner: Pull my pants down for this one, Niners roll!!! 

Shadow: Vince Young versus Alex Smith.  Vince Young went to Texas.  Alex Smith was coached by Urban Meyer.  Vince Young singlehandedly beat Michigan and USC in back to back years on New Years Day.  Alex Smith led Utah to its only undefeated season ever.  Vince Young won a national title.  Alex Smith and Utah were one of the first “BCS Busters”.  Sense a trend here?  Exactly…we must focus on their college careers because each has been pretty much a bust to this point in the pros.  But both have another chance to grab the reins and turn their careers around.  How can we hate that?  We love second chance stories.  Call this one a push.

Detroit @ Seattle

SD: Motown versus the grunge movement. Well, next time I get home I will probably put on a flannel and I have several Pearl Jam songs on my Ipod. Does that answer your question as to which I am picking?

Turner: This one is for the Java, my operating system, and rain over gun-shots and….  Hmmm……Eminem??   Go ‘hawks!! 

Shadow: KISS versus Nirvana.  Pontiac Silverdome versus the Kingdome.   Starbucks coffee versus Little Caesar’s pizza.  How sucky would it be to have to be in Detroit where they hold one out of every 8 Super Bowls or so, and know that your team is far, far, far, far away from ever getting to the big dance, and there are no signs of a turnaround?   But, you know what…..I just really, really hate the Seahawks throwback jerseys.  More like throw-up jerseys.  Blecch.  Let’s see if the Lions can shock the world and double their win total to ’2′.

With the official start of the NFL this week we are now back at full speed football season – this week I have a college team, a college fantasy team, an NFL team and a pro fantasy team to cheer on. Four different teams to worry about? That is a lot of stress. Why again have I been pining seven months for the start of football season? Football may be fun, but I am pretty sure I would live a lot longer without it – due to the inordinate amount of stress and the eating of inordinate amount of food that is so unhealthy it is borderline toxic.

However, I need to make the most of these next few football days. I am going to Oktoberfest in Munich next week and staying in Europe for a couple weeks beyond that, so I will be taking a little break from football.

While my Griswoldian vacation may help with my football related stress, I don’t imagine it will help much in the healthy food department.

Anyway, we are back with the full slate of NFL and college games this week. Given, that I have written more this week than Bill Simmons has written since the end of the NBA season, I have one word for my picks this week – brevity.

Before we dive in, Turner and the Shadow have something to say.

 Turner: Hello Readers for Week 2 of the THH.  Despite the Debacle in Dallas and the Torture in Tallahassee, Super Dave and I survived the first week of college football even though it couldn’t have started worse for either of us.  Only Hawkeye Shadow escaped with a ‘win’ (I use that term lightly since it was a D-II, FCS or whatever they call that other league now where you have a compass direction before your mid-western state’s name).  How can being 1.9 quarters into a college football season suddenly make your shoulders slump, oh it is b/c it popped out of joint with the rest of Cherokee Nation.  While OU / BYU made us suffer through 4 quarters of mistake-prone football, FSU and Miami treated us to what hopes to be the return of great SE college football.  Even though the result wasn’t what Super Dave or I wanted, it was a well played game with excitement. OH – and as Super Dave told me, when Miami wins in a given year, that mean OU beats UT.   So despite both our pain, hopefully a mediocre OU team can destroy the **************  (insert any word you like) Longhorn’s dreams.

Shadow: Well, let’s see.  My college team is the only one that managed a win in Week 1, but the Hawkeyes still fell out of the Top 25.  I would say the first game is an okay game to lost if you are going to run the table, but with OU players dropping like flies, and the tough schedule Florida State has…I just don’t see it happening.  Not that Iowa is going to finish with fewer losses than OU or FSU, though.  Could be a long and disappointing year.  On top of that, my hatred is not powerful, as only one of my week 1 prediction’s came to pass.

Have you heard of this new fangled thing called Facebook?  My wife uses it on average 2 hours a day.  I bored of it after about the same amount of usage time.  It was fun to reconnect with old friends, but do I really need to know what people are up at any time, or be subjected to finding out the color of my Aura, which Friends character I am, or have my cell phone charger $2.95 so I can prove I can beat the IQ test score of Britney Spears?  I think not.  For the THH, whichever school or team has more Facebook fans will incur the wrath of my Hatred…not that it means much,***

***Eye Candy Loophole:  when going to the respective Facebook pages to find out their number of fans, if one of the 6 fans they show is super hot, I am allowed to not hate them, even if the pure numbers say I should.

College:

Syracuse @ Penn State

SD: Syracuse quarterback Greg Paulus spent the last four years playing point guard at Duke. Penn State coach Joe Paterno spent the last four years guarding against going dookie in his pants and having people point at him. Advantage: Cuse.

Turner: Ok – a lot of indifference here for Turner.  He pretty much took geography out of it since they are so close, and my hatred of Big East vs. Big 11 is pretty much equal, so I’m going to have to go with the random fact of hate.

Fact of the game:  did you know that they are no longer called the “Orangemen”?  Now they are just the “Orange”.   Really – you name your team after a fruit because “It was done in part as a way to save money, and build brand awareness. Before the change, women’s teams were called the Orangewomen and the various athletic teams had their own logos”.  Seriously, this might be the sign that our economy had taken such a bad turn that it is not recoverable.  Why you name your team after a fruit (and that doesn’t count the Banana slugs), you deserve to be disliked (not hated b/c I like a good Orange – love the vitamin C) more than someone that plays in a place called Happy Valley.  That is just very peaceful.  So for this one, I’ll rally behind Jo Pa and against the wanna-be QB and squeeze the juice.

 Shadow: Syracuse FB Fans:  374 fans,  Penn State FB fans:  92,013 fans (ECLH:  close, there was a picture of two hot girls…if they had been kissing maybe I would have enacted the loophole).  I gladly hate Penn State.  Go Orange.

 East Carolina @ West Virginia

 SD: I have said it before and I will say it again: in a choice between a state that doesn’t actually exist and West Virginia. I choose the state that doesn’t exist.

 Turner: First off, you never go against a Pirate, they will kick your booty.  Second, you don’t go against teams wearing purple, that is why Furman went away from being the Furman University Christian Knights and moved towards the Purple Paladins – or maybe it was the acronym of the former).  And lastly, after a few years ago, I still remember the Fiesta Bowl. Bitter, still very bitter.  Might be the only time in my THH history that I want East to beat West.

 Shadow: East Carolina FB Fans:  1,700 fans.  West Virginia FB Fans:  5,684 fans  (ECLH:  not sure what this says of WVU, but there weren’t any women at all of the 6 fans shown).  Look for the Pirates to beat the Mountaineers.

 NFL:

Miami @ Atlanta

 SD: When Atlanta hosted the 2000 Super Bowl, an ice storm hit the city, Ray Lewis may have killed a guy with a trident and Kurt Warner was the MVP. I spent that weekend in Miami drinking heavily on South Beach, making bad Ace Ventura jokes and eating tacos at 3 in the morning. I won then and I hope the Dolphins win now.

 Turner: Again – major indifference here.   I don’t like Hurricanes, don’t really like beaches, can’t stand humidity and dislike riding MARTA.  This one comes down to who I’d rather sit down and watch on TV and that would be the Falcons.  I like the black and red uniforms, I think Matt Ryan is a stud, their running back has the GREATEST last name, and the dumped Vick.  Without any great reason, I’m going to go against the 85 degrees and thousands of beautiful women for a good three hours of watching a rising team play football.  I really think I need a life….

 Shadow: Miami FB Fans:  304 fans.  Atlanta FB Fans:  2,073 fans.  (ECLH:  apparently on FB, “Hotlanta” it is not).  Ronnie Brown will Wildcat the Dolphins to the win.

 NY Jets @ Houston

SD: Texans offensive coordinator is Kyle Shanahan, son of former Bronco head coach Mike. Jets offensive coordinator is Brian Schottenheimer, son of former Browns and Chargers head coach Marty. Too bad Jack Elway isn’t playing quarterback for Houston. Regardless – go Texans.

 Turner: NY J-E-T-S, JETS, JETS, JETS vs. Houston Texans:   I despise Joe Namath, I don’t like Green and White, and I HATE anything that starts with New York (except cheesecake and pizza).  The only thing that makes this close is the word “Texans” which makes me cringe as well but at least it doesn’t remind me of rats, trash and dead bodies washing up on shore.

 Shadow: Jets FB Fans:  3,832 fans. (ECLH:  We have our first and only enactment of the loophole.  Kerri Barcia was one of the 6 fans shown.  Granted it was kind of a staged “glamour” shot, but she won me over).   Houston FB Fans:  1,074 fans.  Sorry Texans, you need more talent in your FB fanbase.  J-E-T-S, JETS! JETS! JETS!