As I sit to write this, my mind isn’t on football, it’s on basketball. College basketball has been on my TV for the last 24 hours like that Friends episode where Joey and Chandler get free porn: afraid it will be gone if I turn off the TV, I keep it on 24 hours a day.

The NBA on the other hand, much like the Philadelphia Eagles, have proven that the more great athletes you have, the more disposable you become. Filled with the greatest collection of talent in a generation and building on 3 or 4 great years that saw the resurgence of the Lakers, Celtics and the creation of the Heatles, the NBA has decided to take the year off.

I guess they decided if it worked for Dave Chapelle, it will definitely work for them.

Of course he lost his TV show.

While basketball is being defined as both a beginning (college) and ending (NBA), football, outside of the depraved showers of the Penn State locker room, is defined at the moment is ‘in between’.

College football is in between the marquee mid-season match-ups such as LSU/Alabama and Oregon/Stanford that have shaped the BCS title race and the late season match-ups that will finalize the Bowl schedule – Bedlam in Oklahoma and the SEC title game.

The NFL is in the late season, where the true contenders start to separate themselves from the early season pretenders (paging Detroit Lions, Detroit Lions, Reality is holding for you) but not yet to the point where playoff spots are being locked. At least outside of the NFC West where the Niners are on the verge of clinching the NFL’s equivalent of the PAC 12 South.

For the next couple of weeks, the entire NFL world sits in limbo. No conclusions reached just more questions and clues. Which is fine for most people because anticipation is at least half of the fun of sports. But for people writing about sports, it means generating stories out of thin air. Whether it is digging around and looking for anything that is even tangentially interesting relative to the Penn State scandal (see: Sports by Brooks) or just making up dumb arguments to keep a dialog alive (see: Bleacher Report and ESPN).

After spending weeks analyzing the Tim Tebow phenomenon from every angle short of asking what uncircumcised kids in the Philippines think of him, I have run out of things to say. Until something actually happens, there is only so much to talk about.

And so we all wait together.

But as a bright spot today I am in between something else: in between a busy fall of work and a long weekend in Vegas with the THH crew beginning Thursday. With Vegas on my mind, the THH theme this week is simple. Given the opening spread, which team would (will) you bet on?

College

Nebraska at Michigan (-2.5)

If it were October 2010, this would be a fascinating match-up of 2 of the most exciting playmakers in football: Michigan QB Denard Robinson and Nebraska QB Taylor Martinez. Unfortunately a year later and the weaknesses of each have been exposed. Robinson can throw the ball only marginally better than Mr. Robinson, Eddie Murphy’s old SNL character. Martinez is as consistent under center as acting legend A Martinez’s work schedule. If I were a betting man (wait, I AM a betting man), I take Nebraska here. Nebraska has about the only defense in the Big Ten athletic enough to contain Denard. And God help Michigan if they have to rely on a passing game. As Michigan receiver Junior Hemingway might say about the UM passing game.

The ball leaves his hand; launched into the clear, blue sky.

It hits the cold, unforgiving turf.

The faces of his receivers show frustration and anger.

It is real. It is ugly.

Colorado @ UCLA (-11)

It would be easy to paint this game as an opportunity for the Buffaloes to exact revenge on the coach that deserted them and sent them from perennial national contender to Big-12 Pac-12 doormat. But then you realize that when Rick Neuheisel left Boulder most of these players were so young that they were still eating their own boogers. The Buffaloes do not care about Neuheisel’s past but, more importantly, they do not play football well. UCLA, as crazy as it is to imagine, still has a chance to be the sacrificial virgin that gets slaughtered by Oregon in the Pac 12 title game. The Buffaloes won their first ever Pac-12 game last week and I fear that a level of satisfaction now permeates the team – at least they got that off their shoulders. I think the Bruins roll the Buffs and both CU fans that still care more about football than ski season, curse Neuheisel once again.

NFL

Chargers @ Chicago (-4)

Is there anyone outside of the sports books and Chargers owner’s box that still think Norv Turner can coach this team? How is this only a 4-point game? Are the sportsbooks banking on Philip Rivers seeing Jay Cutler across the field and playing like he did when he would blow out Cutler’s Broncos? I don’t see it, mostly because Philip Rivers seems to have become the quarterback equivalent of Sean Alexander ‘one year too late’ and comparing the Bears defense to those old Bronco defenses is like comparing Homeland to NCIS –two things trying to achieve the same goal but one being vastly superior at it.

The Bears should roll to an easy win and after the Broncos beat the Jets to tie for the division lead, maybe the Chargers leadership will finally realize that Norv and this Charger team peaked about 3 years ago and it is time to blow it up and start over.

Bengals @ Ravens (-9)

It is an odd numbered week in the NFL, so that must mean that the Ravens will play well. That makes as much as sense as anything else the Ravens have done this year, so I will go with it. The Bengals have been a nice story and Andy Dalton certainly looks like a young Brad Johnson but I think their time near the top of the division has reached its end. It was fun while it lasted and we will always be able to look back at the first 2 months fondly, like a warm summer in high school. Though with his fair skin, I imagine no summer under a scorching Texas sun is remembered fondly by Dalton.

Will Joe Flacco lead the Ravens past the Bengals by double-digits? That’s as sure a bet as saying Reverend Ray Lewis never broke one of the Ten Commandments.

Oh. Hmmm. Yeah, this seems like a game to tease down to -2. Tease with the Bears? Free money.

Hi, my name is Dave and I hate the BCS

<Hi Dave>

I am firm believer that the BCS is a waste of time and the NCAA needs to do one of two things: (1) revert to the classic bowl system to keep tradition alive and acknowledge that chaos will reign on occasion or (2) figure out a playoff system. The BCS system or anything else in between is as uncomfortable and joyless as a Viking win is for Vikings fans this season. Sure, it means a win for their team but it also means if they do too well they could be stuck with Brad Childress for another year.

With that in mind, as well as my general dislike for the NCAA as a governing body, I have decided this year I am all-in for complete chaos. Not only do I want Auburn to make the BCS title game with possible forfeiture of all their games hanging over their heads but I want Cam Newton to win the Heisman also. In a perfect world, he wins the Heisman and Auburn wins a spot in the BCS title game and then all allegations are found to be true on about December 26th. What happens then?

Fire and brimstone coming down from the skies! Rivers and seas boiling!

Forty years of darkness! Earthquakes, volcanoes…

The dead rising from the grave!

Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together… mass hysteria!

Ok, maybe not all of that. But have you noticed a serious uptick in zombies lately?

Coincidence?

The institutional bureaucracy that the NCAA has created seems designed specifically to drag out any investigations of wrong-doing for as long as possible, so as to not distract from the play on the field. When it has come to the allegations against Cam Newton the NCAA has reacted slower than the Bush White House did in sniffing out the leaker in the Valerie Plame case. But in a 24×7 internet-fueled news-cycle, this can’t last. Especially not if the Feds start looking around as well. The NCAA can try to delay and delay but it will only harm them more in the end. Especially if it comes out that the NCAA had the information all along but slow-played it to get through the season first.

After years of hypocritical money-grubbing the NCAA has backed itself into a corner.

With coaches making millions and vague promises of millions to come later to their recruits, it was only a matter of time until those same recruits decide to jump the gun on receiving some of those benefits.

After the NCAA spent years designing a football championship system to specifically reward its largest members with even more money, it was only natural that other worthy contenders stand up and yell ‘what about us?’

This year we have a perfect storm – two outsiders with legitimate arguments that they deserve an invite to a party and a big-dog that may have been caught with it’s paw in the Milk-Bone container.

NOTE: After last weekend, I have also decided Boise State would beat Auburn handily in a bowl game. Boise has proven repeatedly that they can find a way to slow down a faster, more talented offense (Va Tech this season, Oregon and TCU last season, OU back in 2007) but after watching the freshman Aaron Murray of Georgia pick apart the Auburn defense for 4 quarters I am sure Kellen Moore could throw for 400 yards and 5 TDs against them.

The NCAA’s relentless pursuit of more money for its privileged institutions was inevitably going to lead to its demise. They staved off killing college basketball when cooler heads prevailed over expanding March Madness to 96 teams.

What happens if or when they have a team playing for a championship that has already been deemed illegitimate?

Mass hysteria? Or worse.

If we do end up with human sacrifice, I have an idea on the first slate of candidates.

On to THH this week. More themes because, well, we have pretty much exhausted most interesting match-ups over the last three years and Turner and Shadow keep telling me how much they enjoy the themes.

Right before they don’t participate.

Actually, somebody made it this week, so my scorn is limited to one of my cohorts.

Shadow: My consistency in getting my blog post written is similar to the Broncos this year.  Sometimes it’s a double-digit drubbing of KC, and sometimes I am getting my ass handed to me by the hated Raiders.  I am also fighting a semi-bad case of the “I just don’t care anymore”, partly due to Iowa losing games it has no business losing, the Broncos sucking, and all of my fantasy teams tanking.  It has been a challenging football year….but at least it is Ohio State weekend.  Beating them will still give me reason to be happy over this somewhat “lost” season.

College: (The Your Enemy is My Enemy Division)

Virginia Tech @ Miami – Pick the game based on who Super Dave hates more

SD: This may surprise you but I am going with the Hokies here. Sure I could lament the fact that my Noles trounced the Canes on the field and have the same record yet sit several spots behind them in the polls but it is precisely because of that trouncing I can’t hate the Canes too much. Despite the hopes and dreams of Kirk Herbstreit and much of the national press, the Miami of old ain’t coming back any time soon. Randy Shannon may be a great recruiter but, for all appearances, his coaching skills are on par with Dan Hawkins. How can you hate something so sad and pitiful? Va Tech, however every year gets all the hype with none of the performance. If any team gets more unwarranted free passes from the experts for throwing up at least one stink-bomb per year I don’t know who it is. The ridiculous Beamer Ball cliché gets trotted out in every VT game more often than Jay Cutler throws interceptions. So, yes, today I hate VT more than the Canes.

Shadow: Wow.  This is kind of tense, like a test or something.  Even though Mike Vick’s brother was a chest stomping fool in his Va Tech days, I have to believe that SD harbors more hate for that Halfway House posing as a college in southern Florida.  It’s bad enough when they were having success….it’s even worse how their alums are some of the most pathetic bandwagoners around.  The U having a good year?  Sidelines full of former Canes.  A down year (or series of years)…and suddenly everyone has better things to do.  Go Hokies.

Nebraska @ Texas A&M – Pick the game based on who Turner hates more

SD: Tough call, as I know a bad taste sits in Turner’s mouth from his trip to Lincoln last fall (and not just from the jell-o shots he did) but I am going with the Aggies. With OU’s recent embarrassing loss to A&M fresh in his mind as well as some lingering sub-conscious resentment that he didn’t go to a school that encouraged you to make out with a co-ed after each touchdown (really his best chance at making out with a girl), I think it is ‘down with Lassie’ all the way for him today.

Shadow: Texas A&M has given Turner his most recent pain, but having to sit through the loss in Lincoln last year, and all of the grudge matches through his formative years, has to keep the Huskers on top of this 2 team hierarchy.  Aggies all the way.

NFL (SAT-like Quarterback Theoreticals Division)

Your team is trailing 27-21 with 2 minutes left in the Super Bowl. Your team has the ball on its own 17 yard line but your quarterback’s ACL just blinded a 7-year old in the 4^th row on the last play. Which of the starting quarterbacks in each game do you pick the lead your team and why.

(For the record this is an interesting game for A LOT of matchups this week)

Buffalo @ Cincinnati

SD: I picked this match-up because this includes a couple equally underwhelming quarterbacks: Ryan Fitzpatrick of Buffalo and Carson Palmer of Cincinnati. One of these two was a Heisman trophy winner at USC. The other went to noted football factory Harvard. I am going with the old Harvard Yard,  Fitzpatrick. Palmer has had plenty of opportunities over the years to lead his team to a big victory and he has consistently failed. At least Fitzpatrick doesn’t carry around that sort of baggage. He can go into this 2-minute drill with the same inexperienced cockiness of the Winklevoss twins. And even if he does fail to win the game, he can probably make it up to me by making me a small fortune on Wall Street.

Shadow: The easy and flashy answer here is that one-time can’t miss Trojan.  But here is my biggest problem with him.  I honestly want the QB to be the leader of my team.  Let’s be honest.  Carson has never been the leader in that locker room or that organization.  I don’t really care what his athletic skills may or may not be….he cannot lead.  Ryan Fitzpatrick may not be in any spotlights right now…but that may be good for him, as his shortcomings aren’t front and center either.  Plus he is young.  I will take youthful and energetic over a non-leader like Palmer any day.

Indy @ New England

SD: In the polar opposite of our first match-up we have two of the very best quarterbacks to choose from. However this one is pretty easy to pick. Brady has been in this situation twice and owns two rings to show for it. Manning was in this situation last season and Tracy Porter now has a ring to show for it. And, for those with memory loss, Porter doesn’t play for Manning’s team.

Shadow: Come on.  Peyton’s commercials are legendary compared to Mr. Bieber-head.  I liked Peyton’s SNL better than Brady’s too.  This question all really comes down to the supporting cast.  If I have play-making WR’s and a great TE, I am picking Peyton.  If I have just marginal positional players, I want Brady in there.  To me, Brady can raise the level of players around him, while I think Peyton thrives on having a supporting cast that is a notch above, and gets frustrated when he doesn’t have that.  Peyton may be one of the best at adjustments and audibles before the snap, but Brady is the much better improviser once the ball is in play…and in a two minute drill that is what really matters.  Give me Tom.

If you have ever watched the show Inside The Actor’s Studio (and really who hasn’t), you know that each episode ends with the creepy slow-talking, bearded host asking that night’s guest a series of questions.

One of my favorite questions isn’t the one about favorite curse word (though obviously my answer to that would be “F***ing Tim Tebow”), it is the one about what your least favorite word is.

For years, my answer to that was ‘intolerance’ (I know, all Tea Partiers are free to throw up in their mouths a little bit) but this week I think I am changing it.

Now I am going with: hypocrisy.

Because that is the only word that comes to mind when I think about the NFL’s current head injury crisis.

The NFL can levy fines and issue press releases all they want but until they stop selling pictures of big hits and have announcers on their broadcasts gush lovingly over 20 year old clips of Titans defensive coordinator Chuck Cecil in which he blatantly launches his helmet at other players, then it is hard to take anything they say seriously.

Personally, I am torn about the issue. I like big hits as much as anyone (heck, look at my Twitter avatar) but I recognize the incredible physical price players can take.

I respect the game and the players that played before but it rings a little hollow when they talk about how tough they were when they played. They played when players were smaller and slower. As any physicist knows, mass x acceleration = force. The players today play with a lot more force than anyone from the 70’s or 80’s.

Of course, I doubt many of those guys took physics. And those that did probably don’t remember it.

Combine the frightening physical prowess of the players today and the advanced knowledge we have about the impact of these hits, and I understand the concerns.

The NFL needs to pick a path. They either save these young, aggressive, physically gifted men from themselves and institute more rules or they take the shackles off and let anything go. I don’t care which way they go.

The NFL just needs to be honest with themselves, the players and the public on what they are selling.

In other hypocrisy news, we are going with theme week for the Hierarchy of Hate. So we will be using completely random reasons for deciding who we should cheer for in each game, though will probably not think about these rules again once the games actually start.

Don’t blame us, we are just learning from the biggest sport in the country.

Turner: SuperDave…Thank you for theme week, this is so much better and entertaining to create real hate.  I’m sorry for my week absence.  I’m back and better than ever with an inspired group of match-up categories this week.  Sitting here watching SuperDave’s man-crush Buster Posey slap around doubles like Brett Favre sends Jenn Sterger pictures of his junk, just reminds me of all of the different folks that should be considered “The Man, The Myth, and the Legend” status.

Shadow: I have decided that work trips without Turner are lame.  Trapped here in Boise, Idaho, surrounded by more bright orange and blue than I can stand, and my Yankees are finding a way to not make it to back to back World Series.  Not a good week.  Luckily, that just means all the more hate to go around.  Super Dave even rolled out the Toddler Version of THH, so I don’t have to strain my brain coming up with a theme for my answers.  This THH brought to you by Fry Sauce.

College (each of these schools has had at least 1 great running back, pick the game on which RB you liked more):

LSU @ Auburn

SD: Billy Cannon vs. Bo Jackson. Yes, Billy Cannon played 20 years before I was born and Bo was one of the greatest athletes and biggest stars of my youth but I am going with Billy here. Also when I was young, a semi-biographical movie was produced about Billy that introduced me to the twin wonders of a young Jessica Lange (yes, I know that pic isn’t from the movie but I don’t care) and southern football night games at Death Valley. Bo don’t know either of these things. Geaux Tigers.

Turner: Of the few things I don’t like, one of them is people who have more vowels in their name than consonants, aka Joseph Addai. While nothing against Mr. Addai personally other than his last name, he did play against the Oklahoma Sooners I believe in destroying Jason White’s hope of a lasting NFL legacy and relegated him to the local cement company in Kingfisher Oklahoma.   Meanwhile, Who Knows BO?  Yeah, he was greatness.  The only issue I have was when he was with Oakland Raiders and super abused the man, the myth, the legend (not f******* Buster Posey) Brian Bosworth in the old Kingdome.  While that hurt, it did not destroy a man like it did the Heisman winner, Jason White.  He could have been the man, myth, and legend himself, but now he is one hell of a bricklayer and it is all Addai’s fault.  Come On Tigers, not the geaux kind….

Shadow: Bo knows THH.  Well, actually he doesn’t, but that is beside the point.  Who is LSU going to try and trot out to top it?  Kevin Faulk?  Joseph Addai?  Charles Alexander?  Doesn’t matter.  Bo was a freak of nature, and one of the greatest pure athletes of all time.  No contest.  Fly on War Eagle.

Nebraska @ Oklahoma State

SD: Mike Rozier vs. Barry Sanders. Barry is going to go down as one of the greatest running backs of all time and one of the first people to try and bring the afro back in fashion in the late 90’s. After Rozier’s Heisman winning career with Turner Gil and Irving Fryar at Nebraska he had a fairly uneventful 6 year NFL career (though he somehow made two Pro Bowls). In my front running youth, I loved that Nebraska team. It seems only fitting that they would be the first of many of my teams to lose in heartbreaking fashion to the University of Miami. Apparently from an early age I was destined to hate the Canes. For being a trendsetter in my life, without even realizing it Rozier gets the nod here.

Turner: Barry Sanders was the best and he was bigger than a Myth, bigger than a Man (even though he was small), and forever a Legend. Mike Rozier –he might be one of the first editions of my THH that I can recall as an 8 year old. I remember HATING his Cornhusker teams back in the early 80’s.  My boy Marcus Dupree did his best to destroy him in Lincoln but failed, them winning the Big 8 those years… That just burns.  Meanwhile, Barry dominated the Sooners but he did that to everyone and it never really cost OU anything significant. He was great.  You pair him up with Hart Lee Dykes and that tandem might have been one of the best ever.  So I’m going to have to go against Lincoln Nation (not to mention they could have buried TX for me last week and failed) and root for the Pokes.

Shadow: Now, this is a showdown of showdowns.  The immortal Mike Rozier.  Who can forget his 230 yards against Kansas in one half!  And then there is Barry Sanders, who I swear was the hardest person to catch and tackle that I have ever seen.  I think sometimes the fact that Rozier didn’t have a very memorable pro career diminishes his college accomplishments for some.  But this is THH, so I don’t care about what either of them went on to do.  Barry had pretty much the best college year ever by a running back…but that was it.  Then he was off to the NFL.  So I am going with Rozier for his overall body of work.  

NFL (Each of these cities’ NBA team has had one of the best players in the NBA on it over the last few years. Pick the team with the player you like more)

Cleveland @ New Orleans

SD: In honor of the NBA tipping off (and the fact that I may or may not have bought a 10-game package to the Nuggets for this season which means I may be at more Nuggets games than Melo), we are mixing up themes this week and looking beyond the gridiron. So this matches up Rasual Butler and Craig Ehlo. Ok, it isn’t because that would be such a blowout (Rasual can’t compete with Craig’s mullet) I guess instead we will weigh LeBron and Chris Paul. While it is easy to mock LeBron and his tortuous Decision this summer, I will pick him over Paul. As far as I know LeBron never racked a guy like Paul did. Kicked an entire region in the balls? Sure. But not another player. That is just dirty pool. Go Cleveland.

Turner: Mo William’s Mom vs Darryl Strawberry’s son?  This is a tough call.  It is one thing to get your mom hooked up with your team’s star player, but to produce an NBA player through snorting coke?  That is impressive too.   Chris Paul is the NBA equivalent of Warrick Dunn.  Undersized, but great player who seems to be a very good, high character person.  (I’m looking for Buster Posey type love from Super Dave with this analogy).  Meanwhile ‘Witness’ is the opposite.  Can’t stand him except he did do his ‘decision’ for the children of the greater Connecticut Boys and Girls Club.  I’ll take Chris in this one with a Beignet from Café Du Monde with extra powder sugar to go please.

Shadow: It makes perfect sense to pick THH based on sports other than football.  Sadly, the NBA is one of those leagues where I have very little rooting interest.  The Nuggets (plus cushy free tickets in the Club Level via Turner) had some success over the past couple of years and made me actually care a little about pro basketball…but with Carmelo on his way out (and possibly to the most hated of Turner’s locales) I find it hard to care again.  I never really bought into the whole Lebron thing, and I think he is a pussy for abandoning Cleveland.  My boyhood idol, Don Mattingly, suffered through the longest World Series drought of the modern Yankees organization and did so with character and class…never once even considering going somewhere else for a better chance at a title.  His best chances at making it to the World Series were snuffed out by the strike in 1994 and then when the Mariner’s cheated and let Randy Johnson pitch in relief for the Mariners as they beat the Yankees (a feat he would repeat in the 2001 World Series for the Diamondbacks…the big doofus…all this prior to basically sucking when the Yankees paid him big money to come to New York).  But….I digress.  Give me Chris Paul and the Charlotte/New Orleans/Oklahoma City/New Orleans Hornets…and thus, the Saints over the Browns.

Arizona @ Seattle

SD: You may have forgotten by now, but the Oklahoma City Thunder and their best young line-up in the league should be the Seattle SuperSonics. Instead my friends in the northwest got the same treatment from Clay Bennett that Julius Hodge got from Chris Paul. So now when I compare Kevin Durant to Steve Nash in this match-up it is with sadness. Paradoxically, by not cheering for Durant in protest of him now playing in OKC, I therefore have to cheer against the Seahawks in this match-up. Of course, after the last couple years Seattle sports fans would expect nothing less.

Turner: The only player in the NBA that could be the Man, The Myth, and the Legend.  Yes, that is Kevin Durant.  The Phenom, the golden child, the freak.  He is greatness.  While SuperDave will likely bitch about the fact that Seattle lost their team to the greatness of the Thunder he can’t argue greatness.  Steve Nash is almost to this same level but unfortunately Thunder comes before Lightening. 

Shadow: Steven Nash and Kevin Durant.  This one is a tough call.  What I think most of when I see Nash play is, “Was he too tall for hockey?”  Durant may not have the longevity yet, but he is really fun to watch.  Okay, I am lying.  I don’t watch the NBA really at all.  I could tell Durant and Nash apart, because I am not dumb (Nash is white, right?), but I honestly probably have never seen much more than a handful of minutes of Durant in the NBA, and most of the Nash stuff I see is just when they have played Denver.  So, I will just flip a coin.  Heads.  That means I like Nash more.  Go Cardinals. 

It is a common malady of approaching middle age to reminisce about the past. The stereotypes for this are those unfortunate souls who seemed to peak in life as the big men of their high school. The Captain of the football team or the Homecoming King who never quite get their life together after graduation day and twenty years later still talk about when they were the biggest fish in the small aquarium that was their high school.

I like to think I have avoided this fate for the most part. I have had plenty of successes since graduating high school: a fine college career; good job that allows me that opportunity to do things I want to do – whether it is a weekend trip to Vegas or a couple weeks in Europe; a hobby of writing anonymously on the internet for the entertainment of myself and about 4 other people. By any reasonable definition my life does not suck.

Yet, for at least one Saturday in 2010, football made me think about when I was younger. The college game we have come to know over the last few years seems to be gone. But it isn’t a new world. It is an old world. Like 1997. The college football world hasn’t so much evolved as it has regressed.

After a decade with just a short list of contenders each year playing hot potato with the national championship, suddenly an entirely new cast has risen up. Some are new players that a decade ago were the punchline of a joke about painted fields or lame mascots.

But for at least one Saturday the headline makers weren’t the new kids on the block. They were schools and people at the top of the game back when New Kids on the Block were being re-packaged and re-sold as The Backstreet Boys.

Even before the weekend officially started, Nebraska made a statement that they are to be reckoned with for the first time in a decade. Going into the Little Apple and decimating Kansas State on national TV, the Huskers combined an option-oriented offense almost indistinguishable from the offenses led by Tommy Frazier and Scott Frost with a defense that finally resembles the Black Shirt teams of the 1990’s that were the standard bearers for defense before Nick Saban’s teams stole it’s belt.

Combine an embarrassingly bad Big Twelve North, a down Texas and no Oklahoma until the Big Twelve title game and the Huskers should coast for quite awhile at this point. Much like those Husker teams of the 90’s, we won’t know how good this team really is but I can’t be the only one excited for a late season Oklahoma/Nebraska game that decides the conference title.

Saturday’s biggest headline maker was the Ol’ Ball Coach. Rendered humble, and worse for his ego, inconsequential, for his entire tenure at South Carolina, Spurrier’s Gamecocks rose up and took down the #1 Crimson Tide. He doesn’t have the wide open attack that he used at Florida to dominate the SEC for the 1990’s but he does have a solid running back playing the Fred Taylor role and a quarterback that for at least one day had more good plays than bad plays. I always loathed Spurrier when he was coaching the Gators: his arrogance, his style, his dominance, all of it combined to make him completely insufferable.

But now, after his humiliation with the Redskins and years of being an SEC East doormat, he has returned as the slightly quieter, more mature Ol’ Ball Coach. The visor was still there, but this time he wasn’t spiking it to the ground after bad plays. 

Maybe it is just relative to his SEC cohorts Nick Saban and Urban Meyer but I find myself almost rooting for Spurrier.

Spurrier’s old team, the Gators also seems to have reverted to the team we got to know in the late 90’s and early 00’s. After years of riding his Holiness Tebow to greatness the Gators appear to be absolutely pedestrian. No playmakers on offense (a secret weakness Tebow was able to conceal since Percy Harvin left school), and a suspect defense. It is fun to watch the genius Urban Meyer consistently fail when he doesn’t have a supremely talented QB leading his team (he gained notoriety at Utah dominating the Mountain West with future #1 overall draft pick Alex Smith – which at a minimum proves the NFC West may not be great but it is better than the Mountain West). LSU coming into Gainesville and beating the Gators not only proves Les Miles is the Austin Powers of college football (he screws up everything, yet it all works out perfectly in the end) but also that Urban’s team has fallen further than anyone realized.

All of the above are just the individual trees in a more important forest: the SEC isn’t what it was. The SEC has won 4 straight national titles but they are going to need a lot of help from the brainwashed sheep that make up the polls to get a chance at a fifth. South Carolina lost to Auburn. Auburn almost lost to Kentucky. LSU should have lost to Tennessee. Tennessee then went out and got destroyed by Georgia. A team that the week before lost to Colorado.

It wasn’t too long ago that the SEC was a conference of tradition-rich programs that were good but not great. There would be several ranked teams but rarely would one figure in the national title conversation. There weren’t great teams that could win week in and week out. They would inevitably fall short one week, like Alabama on Saturday. From 1990 to 2005, SEC teams played for the national title as many times as they have in the last four years. (Bama in ‘92, UF in ‘95 and ‘96, Tennessee in ‘98).

Speaking of another team missing a key ingredient that kept them in the national title conversation the USC Trojans found a way to lose to Stanford. We have been conditioned to think of USC as a perennial power, but as we have discussed, before Pete Carroll showed up USC was mediocre. Bringing in Lane Kiffin is just the first step in devolving back to a USC program that we saw with such luminaries and Paul Hackett and Larry Smith.

Last but, by far, the most important development of Saturday (at least for me) was Florida State’s utter demolition of Miami.

In a series that is known for close games and painful endings, the Seminoles came out Saturday night and pounded the Canes. In fact, they pounded them worse than any game since…1997.

It wasn’t just that the Noles won big and when in previous years they would have let the Canes back in to the game they instead stepped on their throats. It was how they won. They won by running the ball and playing defense. They have become the Penn State Nittany Lions. They have become Bill Parcells’ New York Giants.

After years of the Seminoles playing one good game and then getting embarrassed the following week, usually on the road in the ACC, this team has won 3 straight games; two on the road, all in the ACC, with the closest game being a 20 point win at UVA.

They aren’t fluky wins. They aren’t blocking field goals or returning kick-offs for touchdowns. They aren’t even using fast wide receivers to pick up 15 to 20 yards per pass. They are handing the ball off to a bevy of quick running backs and letting them run behind a grown-up offensive line. Two FSU quarterbacks won Heisman trophies by leading a high powered offense. This year, Christian Ponder lost the Heisman when the Noles got embarrassed by Oklahoma and now has turned the team around by putting stats aside and becoming the change of pace from the running game.

I may not recognize how they won, but it still doesn’t change how it makes me feel.

It makes me feel old.

And so it begins anew.

Another fall. Another football season. Forget January 1^st, this is the dawn of a New Year. Not just a new year but a new decade. Gone are the days when Pete Carroll had to pretend to not know his players were being paid on the way to dominating year after year, yet most often falling short in the end. Today, Pete openly pays his players and most likely will dominate nothing. Mike Shanahan and Donovan McNabb are now together in D.C. destined to do just enough to give the locals some hope before failing. The more things changes, the more they stay the same.

But the start of a new season isn’t all double rainbows. Part of what is great about football isn’t just the teams we cheer for but almost as importantly are the teams we hate. I don’t care what Dr. Drew thinks, hate is healthy. Maybe not Mel Gibson-level hate, but a nice safe dislike of another team allows you to get out that frustration from a long week when you have to do all the work for a bunch of f’ing lazy co-workers who feign ignorance just to avoid actually doing anything. GOD FORBID THEY ACTUALLY DO SOME WORK THEMSELVES WHEN THEY CAN JUST PRETEND THEY DON’T KNOW HOW TO DO IT AND FORCE YOU TO DO IT.

Oops, went a little Mr. Braveheart there, sorry about that. Let’s not mention that to Dr. Drew, deal?

Anyway, with a new season here, it is time for a new season of hate so I am re-convening the THH Algonquin Round Table. To kick-off the season, we are trying something new: a season preview of sorts. Anyone can take a guess at how the season will work out and they will all be equally wrong. But in THH, you can never be wrong. Hatred is never wrong.

Unless it leads you to leave someone profane, racist and bigoted voicemails.

So, to welcome in the new season today we are answering a simple question:

Which 2 pro and college teams are you going to hate the most this year?

To make it fair, we are removing rivals from the equation. So you won’t get a long tirade from me about Urban Meyer possibly needing to take out a 3^rd mortgage to pay off the Gainesville PD to keep his starting defensive front seven from looking at a stretch of 3 to 7 years in the house that Ted Bundy Built. (Allegedly.) And you won’t hear from Turner about Mack Brown’s unnatural affection for small farm animals. (He assumes.) And you won’t hear from the Shadow about how he believes Jim Tressel likes to fly to the Bunny Ranch in the off-season and get tied up by his sweater vest. (Or so he heard.)

Instead, we are looking beyond our natural enemies for more teams to hate. Enough pre-amble. Like watching 4 pre-season NFL games, I have dragged on way too long. Though, for the record I didn’t let 3^rd stringers write the last few paragraphs. We play our starters all the way through around here. On to the show.

(Editor’s Note: Now that I have seen the posts, if you are a Nebraska Cornhusker fan, right about here is the point where you would want to stop reading. Just know that these are written completely solo – we have no idea what the others are writing. So, really this is an early warning system Huskers. Like those tornado warning sirens you hear during the summer, this is the first indication that trouble is coming your way. Your true hatefulness is right on the horizon, so now would be the time to head to the cellar. You are welcome).

Turner: Our inaugural football THH for the 2010 – 2011 is here.  Very open-ended this week in picking any two teams heading into the college and NFL football season.  Lots to consider when leaving every team in the field to choose from.  Geography based?  Conference Based?  Biased based on destroying the Sooner Nation over the past few years?  These are the decisions that grind on a man’s soul.

Shadow: The dawning of the 2010 version of THH brings with it high expectations for our respective college programs, and huge enthusiasm and excitement for the Denver Tebows…errr, Broncos.  I predict our college teams will each make us happier this year than the hometown NFL team.  With high expectations, comes high hatred, as each of us has 100 other college teams gunning for our precious spots within the Top 25.  The Broncos prospects…..eh, not so much, but still plenty of hatred to go around at the professional level.  Let’s take a quick peek at who shall be the most hated coming out of the gates.

College:

SD: If there is one thing that drives me to hatred, it is media over-saturation. It drives me nuts when the media fawns all over a team that doesn’t deserve the level of scrutiny they get (see: Dame, Notre). This year, just from the short pre-season hype there is one team starting to rise in my eyes: the Nebraska Cornhuskers. A pre-season top ten ranking? The Husker-love reached a crescendo (you could even say it is as high as an Elephant’s Eye – a little cornfield humor for you) this past Saturday when Lee Corso picked the Huskers to play for a national title. I’m sorry, what? This was a team that went 10-4 last year. An offense that averaged 11 points in their 4 losses. Oh, did I mention that the best player on that thoroughly mediocre team is now playing for the Lions? How in the world does that team become the best team in the Big 12 and nearly the country? Are Mike Rozier and Tommy Frasier coming out of retirement? Nothing I have seen from Husker nation makes me think they are anything more than another 9-3 or 8-4 season waiting to happen. Even if they go 10-2 or 11-1, let’s remember they play in the Big 12 North. They should follow the same unwritten rules as the Mountain West or WAC: one loss and you are eliminated from BCS Bowl consideration. If I have to deal with breathless ‘The Huskers are Back!’ features after they beat Western Kentucky and Idaho I am going to puke in my Corn Flakes. Add in their off-season ‘Look At Me’ melodramatic move to the Big Ten and the fact that they allowed a Larry the Cable Guy comedy special to be filmed in their stadium and I am up to my eyeballs with Husker nation at this point.

SD: Sometimes life is unfair. Sometimes, the people least deserving of success end up being the most successful. That is especially true in the world of coaching. College coaches can lie, cheat and steal and then move on to higher salary and more prestigious positions while the athletes and schools they left behind have to pay the price for their crimes. How wide-spread is this problem? Right now, there are at least 5 coaches you think I could be talking about. But taking shots at Nick Saban is so 2008 and Lane Kiffin is a walking punch line. Beside it isn’t like Kiffin has ever been successful at anything after his initial interview. Why hate him? He is a joke and is destined to return USC to their late 90’s mediocrity. No, instead today I am hating on Bobby Petrino and his Arkansas Razorbacks. Petrino raised Louisville to national importance and then bolted for the NFL (<cough> Saban<cough>). He then almost made it through an entire season with the Atlanta Falcons before scurrying back to the safe arms of the Razorbacks (at least little Nicky finished all 16 games before bolting out of Miami). A school that, despite an appearance in the SEC title game, ran Houston Nutt out of town at first opportunity. It seems like a match made in heaven – two me-first institutions without an ounce of loyalty between them. When the Razorbacks inconsequential in Petrino’s first couple years there were no feelings but schadenfreude, compounded as not a single Razorback fan can even pronounce that word. But now the Razorbacks have a Heisman candidate quarterback and pre-season top twenty ranking. I don’t want to live in a world where all of these people are rewarded with a winning football season. I have come to accept Saban’s evil ways, so I can only hope he crushes Pig-Sooey nation this year. Alabama will pay for the Saban era in a couple years when they go on probation for his as-yet-unknown-indiscretions, anyway. Just ask USC.

Turner: For the College football season, the honorable mention goes to Notre Dame.  Why?  because I hate them with so much passion and these NBC commercials touting the Brian Kelly regime gets under my skin beyond belief.  I can only hope for a strong Purdue, Michigan, Navy, Boston College or whomever else they play to put them in the Charlie Weiss column for losses.  HATE….. 

Coming in at number 2 needs to go the Ohio State.  They are my geography based pick (North of Virginia / West of Oklahoma) along with conference.  The entire hype of Terrelle Pryor is unfounded.  They occupy a top ranking every year just to choke or occupy a spot in the national championship game to get massacred.  Those little buckeyes on the back of their helmets are handed out like crack out of Paris Toxic Slurry’s purse.  I can only hope that they get completely steam-rolled worse than what The Shadow did to his own daughter on Sunday.

The number 1 THH going into this year is the Benedict Arnold of college football, the Cornheads from Nebraska.  I once played in a competitive soccer league and we were always getting our butts kicked so the next year we changed leagues to be ‘more competitive’.  It had everything to do with that we were slow, un-athletic, and had to find some home which we could try and compete.  This brings me to the Cornhuskers, circuit 2010 -2011. The slow farmers have realized they will never compete with the Big XII south so they bolted to the lands of the other farm boys.  There they can be the best of a mediocre group of farm kids that focuses on that grand prize of the Rose Bowl or getting blown out by some SEC / Big XII team (see OSU above).  All of this is true except for Iowa, they are GREAT!  I want Nebraska to get pounded beyond belief this year and move off to their new home in the land of the great wasteland of America (not including Iowa of course).

 Shadow: Nebraska:  Oh so many reasons to hate Nebraska.  Home state of the headquarters of my employer.  Soon to be natural rival for my Hawkeyes.  Completely overrated in preseason polls.  Boring state to drive through.  I could go on and on.  I cannot wait for this team to join the Big 10 so that I can win tons of money and favors each year in bets with the folks in the home office.  There is simply no good reason to cheer for Nebraska.  Well….until Bowl Season if they are playing a team I hate more.

Minnesota State University:  After the Screaming Eagles forcibly caused Coach Hayden Fox’s “retirement” in favor of “Dauber” Dybinski, I lost all respect for them.  Luther would be spinning in his grave.  After all he meant to the school, including leading them to a National Championship in 1993, Coach Fox should have been able to retire on his own terms, and not be forced out.  Sure, his play calling and scheming had become a bit rote, and he lost recruiting battles he used to win (hey…there is only so many ways to try and convince a youngster that Minnesota winters are ‘mild’)..but still, this is the man who single-handedly put Minnesota State University on the big time Division I-A map!  Such a travesty, and worthy of hate.

NFL

SD: Similar to my above hatred of Nebraska, this one is based on media over-hype. In years past, I have written of the Hard Knocks effect, in which the on-going intimate look at a team on the HBO show inevitably leads me to sort-of, kind-of cheer for that team during the season. You begin to feel like you know the players. This year, however that will not be happening. Hard Knocks is just another nail in the coffin of any feelings I had toward the Jets. Now, I hate the New York Jets. Much like the Huskers, the Jets turned an uncharacteristically strong end of season performance into too much off-season hype. This team was 9-7 last year. They jettisoned one of their best lineman and top rusher. Their quarterback was a rookie with nearly as many interceptions as Jay Cutler. Does everyone else forget the sophomore slumps we have seen from recent successful rookie QBs? Ask Matt Ryan and Joe Flacco about how much easier year 2 was. And now, the only time their coach shuts up, is to put more food in his mouth (which we know because of HBO – thanks Hard Knocks!). Plus I worry about how the Jets will perform the couple weeks that Ryan has to leave the team in the middle of the season to give birth to the child he appears to be carrying. All of this doesn’t add up to Super Bowl favorite in my book. It adds up to lots of mid-season ‘what is wrong with the Jets’ features on SportsCenter, a quiet January in the Meadowlands and a team I look forward to cheering against every week this season.

SD: In 2003, the Red Sox were lovable losers. Each year, they would get close before ultimately crushing the hopes of their rabid fan base. Then in 2004 they broke through in the most remarkable way possible and suddenly everybody in America that had even read about the Boston Tea Party claimed to be one of the long-suffering members of Red Sox Nation. Conveniently, just in time to join in the celebration. Today, Red Sox nation is probably the most obnoxious fan base in the country (look Shadow – I said something nice about the Yankees! Sort of.) A close number two and gaining every day are the fans of the Pittsburgh Steelers.  When the Steelers came back to prominence with two Super Bowl wins in 4 years in the last decade, suddenly long-dormant Steelers popped up in every city like sleeper cells. Now every city has a Steeler bar and Steeler away games have a definite black and yellow hue to them. Enough already. If you are so proud of Pittsburgh, why did you leave? Go home. Combine that fan base with a quarterback that treats women as well as Lennie from Of Mice and Men and it is easy to hate the Steelers. Sure, the ability to tweet Big Ben jokes for 3 hours during each game is a point in their favor (see: me during Bronco/Steeler pre-season game Sunday night) but that doesn’t do enough to overtake the sheer ubiquity of Steeler nation. Go away again Steeler fans. Call me when your team puts decals on both sides of their helmets. Cheapskates.

Turner: NFL THH Honorable Mention: Can you be hated when you don’t exist?  Yes, just ask the Buffalo Bills.  If you can’t field a competitive team, then you should be hated.

NFL THH #2: NY City Teams:  Their new stadium is weak given the Billions that it cost; Mark ‘Dirty’ Sanchez is a waste of a quarterback (see Paris Toxic Slurry), and anytime you have to resort to LT, you are doomed.  The Giants, they are guilty by the doctrine of the Northeast.  I just hope neither makes the playoffs (along with New England) and we can just turn the entire Northeast off the electric grid.

NFL THH #1: Jax Jaguars:  Why?  Because they (and Buffalo potentially) were the only teams that could have saved Denver from taking the Golden Child.  Did they? No!  They took some obscure OL that would have been there in the 5^th round (Editor’s Note: He is actually a defensive lineman, but the fact that Turner doesn’t know sort of drives home the point, huh?).  What did we get? Only a golden paved road to Mile High / Invesco.  I hope this comes back to haunt them forever.  We are now haunted by visions of circumcisions and good deeds rather than quality football.  Screw you Jax

Shadow: New England Patriots:  Still burning over Belicheat’s horrible play call on 4th and 2.  Not mad at all that he went for it.  Just mad that the play call was so crappy.  You don’t run one and a half yard out routes when it is 4th and 2.  You run 3 yard outs.  Don’t give me smack about how much longer it would take for a 3 yard out.  Mop-top would have found a way to get the ball out, don’t you worry.  The Patriots still owe me $150 on that lost bet.  I will look to recoup in November.  I have also had to spend some time in New England this fall.  Here is what I learned:  1.  You can only rent hybrids at the airport, and you can never tell if they are on or off.  2.  The New England ‘accent’ is especially heinous if you have to listen to it for a week straight.  3.  The ‘meat medley’ at the Common Man restaurant in Concord, NH does not do nice things to one’s digestive track.  I blame all of this on the Patriots, and will hate them for it all the more.

Pittsburgh Steelers:  Morally questionable QB?  Check.  Defense that rings up more personal fouls in a preseason game than tackles.  Check.  Obnoxious fan base, possibly second only to Cowboys?  Check.  Team personally responsible for making Terry Bradshaw what he is today (and not in a good way)?  Check.  Too cheap to buy logos for both sides of their helmets?  Check.  If I had only been leaning towards hating the Steelers in the past (mainly due to personally watching them dismantle the Plummer-led Broncos in the AFC Championship game) after watching Saturday’s game in which they basically unveiled a cheap shot for every occasion, topped off by James Harrison spearing our starting QB during his interception return, I am firmly in the camp of hatred towards all things gold and black.  I hope “Big” Ben (some of his plaintiff’s would question the moniker) gets the full 6 game suspension, and then breaks a leg tripping over Hines Ward as Hines attempts a crack back block. 

The hardest thing in the world is to recognize the end of something before it happens. In retrospect it is easy to look back and say ‘yep, The Cosby Show really went downhill when they brought on Raven Symone’. But did we know it at the time? Did we assume instead, she would step into Rudy’s shoes and things would continue on as if nothing changed?

Or that Steve Guttenberg leaving the franchise after completing Police Academy 4: Citizens on Patrol, would represent the beginning of the end. Both of that movie franchise and Guttenberg’s career?

In sports it is even more difficult. Look at the Patriots. They were 2 minutes from NFL immortality and then a career back-up made a miracle catch and a perennially underperforming number one draft pick quarterback threw a touchdown pass to a wide receiver who would later shoot himself in the leg. Eight minutes into their next game, Tom Brady’s ACL took out the eye of some kid sitting in the third row. With that the Patriots dynasty ended.

In college football, changes seem to come even more frequently and without warning.

With the rumors and news circulating today, I have the feeling we are again at the crossroads and a team many see as invincible is beginning the slippery slide into mediocrity. After a short decade on top of the college football world, we could be looking at the end of USC’s reign.

News this week of potential sanctions against USC including reduced scholarships and possible banishment from bowl games would seem to imperil USC’s ability to annually recruit one of the best classes in the country. Combined with Pete Carroll’s leaving for the money and autonomy of the head coaching job with the Seahawks (which looks more and more convenient by the day) and being replaced by Lane Kiffin who has accomplished nothing but tick off every fan base he has worked for and it is very easy to see the Trojan program going the way of Desperate Housewives: still technically around but not of importance to anyone not receiving a check to help produce it.

It is easy to forget now that USC is not pre-ordained to always be great at college football. For pretty much the entire decade of the nineties they were average at best, going 68-49-4 from 1990 to 1999 and piling up records of 6-6, 6-5, and 6-6 in 1996, 1997 and 1999.

But USC’s impending spiral into also-ran status is certainly not unique in college football. They aren’t even the only once-dominant program taken down in part by rampant NCAA infractions.

Miami’s domination of college football came to end in the early 1990’s with two national championship game losses in 3 years followed by their own NCAA sanctions (including scholarship reductions and banishment from playing in a bowl game). Miami disappeared off the national scene for nearly a decade and after a brief dominant stretch in the early 2000’s is again mired in mediocrity.

Oklahoma dominated college football through the 70′s and 80′s but after massive misconduct was found including a shooting, a rape and selling cocaine all out of the football dorm (which makes Reggie Bush’s taking money to pay for his parent’s home almost seem honorable). The Sooners were hit with (wait for it) scholarship reductions and banishment from TV and bowl games. The Sooners would not return to the national stage until 2000 and would so harm a young impressionable fan named Turner that he would choose to attend SMU when he finished high school.

Not all dominant stretches end thanks to rampant cheating though. Others end due to coaching changes. Interesting that this also has hit USC: they are the failing program perfect storm with Kiffin playing the Mark Wahlberg role staring up at the tidal wave about to send him to the bottom of the sea.

Alabama’s Bear Bryant retired in 1982. A decade later, the Tide finally made it back to and won a national championship.

Lou Holtz left Notre Dame in 1996. Not-so-coincidentally, the Fighting Irish have been irrelevant ever since. Despite the best efforts of the media.

Tom Osborne retired in 1997 after winning three national titles in 4 years. He was succeeded by Frank Solich who so infuriated the Husker faithful by having the audacity to go 9-3 in 2003 he was fired. Also in 2003 the final Matrix films were released. And since 2003, both the Huskers and Keanu Reeves have accomplished about the same amount. Which is to say not much.

Other eras just end with little warning and the compounding effect of several seemingly small events.

The Seminoles of Florida State, in 2000, fresh off 3 consecutive national title game appearances (and 5 in nine years), lost Mark Richt as their offensive coordinator and kicked presumptive starting quarterback Jared Jones off the team. They started the next season ranked in the top five. Needless to say, they didn’t stay there and have barely sniffed it since.

Did we Nole fans know at the time that the 13-2 loss to the Sooners in the 2001 Orange Bowl would be the end of our ownership of college football? Of course not. We had endured national championship losses before and naturally assumed we would bounce right back the following season.

That was a decade ago and we are still waiting.

Are you paying attention Trojans?