Back today to come full circle and close the loop on our NFL preview for this season. Today, we focus on the NFC – home of our Super Bowl champion New Orleans Saints, America’s team Dallas Cowboys and America’s favorite grey haired recovering addict not named George W. Bush. Enough preamble, on to the picks.

NFC East

SD: The NFC East is the widely acknowledged best division in the NFL. An argument could be made for any of the teams to win the division. And most likely there is someone on the east coast making each of those arguments right now. To me, however pretty much every team that has had an advantage in the past, gave that up. The Giants defense and running game used to be their strength. Now they are the biggest questions. If Manning (no, the other one) and Steve Smith (no, the other one) are your strengths you are in trouble. The Eagles shipped out their veteran QB and replaced him with a young QB with minimal experience in both the pros and college. The Eagles do have talent on offense – it is just all young and unproven. Sort of like my fantasy team and I don’t think my fantasy team is going to the playoffs. Of course I only invested $75 in my team, so I am a few million ahead of Jeff Loria. The Redskins are a nice story, now that they have a coach and a quarterback. Of course, quarterback wasn’t their biggest problem and while their new coach is a great game-day coach, building a team and working with divergent personalities are, at best, not one of his strengths. Will they be improved? Yes. Of course they could have hired Paul the octopus to be head coach and they would have improved. That leaves the Cowboys. They still have Wade under the headset and Tony under center so they certainly haven’t addressed their most critical big-game deficiencies but with no other team stepping up, by default the Cowboys win.

NFC East Winner: Cowboys (11-5)

Wild Card: Eagles (9-7)

NFC North

A year ago Brett Favre had arguably his best year ever and the Vikings won the NFC North by 2 games over the Packers. This year, Favre is a year older, comes into the season with a bad ankle, and he has lost his favorite receiver. Odds of him repeating his best season? About the same as me guest starring on an episode of Outsourced this fall (though I am available – call me). The Vikings have concerns and we haven’t even mentioned the quarterback knowing that his head coach (i.e. his boss) had his testicles removed by Dr. Lyle Evans and left them somewhere on the back forty of the quarterback’s Mississippi estate to get him to return. The Packers in contrast have a quarterback that has only improved every year, a solid surrounding cast and an improved defense. Plus they smell blood in the water. Favre got the best of cheese-head nation last year. This year, cheese-head nation smells blood in the ankle. They want to send Favre back to Mississippi once and for all. The Bears will only be interesting for people interested in NFL history more than the current season. A combination of Cutler and Martz could own the single-season interception record by week #11. The Lions, once the worst joke in the NFL seem to actually be on the verge of a Return To Relevance (coming in hardcover to Michigan area Barnes and Nobles in February 2012). A solid young QB, the most freakishly athletic wide receiver in the game and a talented rookie running back should lead an increasingly scary offense while A Man Named Suh brings a steadying presence to the defense. But the Lions are still too young this year so we are a year away from a Green Bay/Detroit showdown for the division that all network heads are secretly praying for.

NFC North Winner: Packers (12-4)

Wild Card: Vikings (9-7)

NFC South

Last year, the Saints dominated the NFC South on the way to the Super Bowl. The NFC South has had a history of revolving champions with a different team winning each season but all good things must come to an end. I do believe the Panthers and Buccaneers will be improved this year but not enough to dethrone the champs. It is rare that a team improves by letting their two most high profile players depart but when the Panthers let human turnover machine Jake Delhomme go to Cleveland and past-his-prime distraction Julius Peppers go to Chicago they bought themselves a couple additional wins. With Steve Smith still at wide receiver the Panthers will always have a puncher’s chance at winning the division (…I know, I know) but will still fall short. The Falcons seem to have reached their ceiling: they are good but don’t appear that they will ever become one of the best – sort of like the TV show Parks and Recreation. The Bucs are still too young at several positions including head coach and appear to be the last people on Earth that think Cadillac Williams can stay healthy and be an elite running back. That once again leaves the Saints. They really have the opportunity to be even better than they were last year. We all know that Heisman trophy winners have been overwhelmingly disappointing in the pros, so, now that the Saints may no longer have the burden of carrying a Heisman winner, they could be even better. Scary.

NFC South Winner: Saints (11-5)

NFC West

The teams that make up the NFC West appear to be trying to find new and inventive ways to be awful. Start a rookie quarterback with a porous offensive line and no wide receivers (St. Louis Rams – check!). Start a quarterback that was abandoned by the Cleveland Browns because he wasn’t any good (Arizona Cardinals – check!). Bring in a college head coach without previous NFL success on his resume who completely blows up a team (Seattle Seahawks – check!). It is sad that the Forty-Niners could win the NFC West by 3 games and yet they start a quarterback that two years ago could have been argued as one of the 5 biggest busts of all time, a wide receiver that when drafted led directly to a coach getting fired, a running back best known for being hurt only slightly less often than Fred Taylor and a tight end that was sent off the field a couple years ago mid-game by his own coach. This is BY FAR the best team in Division and it reads like the NFL equivalent of the cast of The Losers.

Winner: Forty-Niners (10-6)

Wild Card

Eagles @ Forty-Niners: Call me sentimental but I like seeing playoff games in Candlestick Stadium. I also like imagining Andy Reid trying to coach a young quarterback on the road in a playoff game against one of the best young defenses in the NFL.

Vikings @ Cowboys: So which team can overcome the inevitable mistakes of their error-prone quarterback and overwhelmed coach? Wait, how is this is a playoff game? Give me the Cowboys.  This seems like the next logical step in their annual game of ‘how can we once again raise and then destroy the hopes of our fans and the media?’

Divisional Playoffs

Forty-Niners @ Packers: I don’t think it is much of a Lambeau Leap of Faith to say the Packers are the better team and should beat the Niners easily. Rodgers will be Aaron it out on offense and AJ will be all over the field like a Hawk while Charles brings the Wood, son, on defense. It could be a Gore-y day for the Niners.

(yes that was an all-pun NFC playoff game preview. You get what you pay for)

Cowboys @ Saints: Raise your hand if you believe Wade Phillips and Tony Romo can go into New Orleans and win a playoff game….Jerry Jones, you can put your hand down, anyone else? That’s what I thought.  

NFC Championship

Saints @ Packers: A couple weeks ago I was watching a pre-season game and Dan Dierdorf said ‘if a team not based in New Orleans, Minnesota or Dallas wins the NFC, it will be one of the all-time biggest upsets’. Now Dan was a Hall of Fame offensive lineman and got hit in the head a lot so I should cut him a little slack, but he seems to have forgotten about the Packers. Or maybe this is residual hatred from their dumping of Favre a couple years ago, I don’t know. The Saints leaving the friendly confines of the Super Dome could be their doom. Do I trust a wide-open passing attack accustomed to playing in a Dome on the frozen tundra of Lambeau Field in January? No, I do not.

Super Bowl

Ravens vs. Packers: I hate when I fall into the trap of picking the same trendy teams as everyone else but it is what it is. The Packers to me look like the most solid team in the NFC and while the Ravens are sort of coin flip with other teams in the AFC (Colts, especially), they look like a team with the highest upside over where they were last year.

As for the Super Bowl itself, I can see the Packers picking apart an aging Ravens defense and suspect secondary. Flacco is still a young QB and while his weapons improved greatly this year from the lackluster offense of the last couple years, so has the formerly suspect Packers defense. I know that Eli Manning once out-dueled Tom Brady in a Super Bowl but that was due to a great defensive effort and a freak play.

Super Bowl Champ: Green Bay Packers

I wish I could congratulate Green Bay but my picking them pretty much dooms them to a season of mediocrity and failure. Sorry about that Cheese-head nation.

A little less than two weeks ago, LeBron James went on television to announce that he was leaving his home town of Cleveland and going to play with two of his buddies on the Miami Heat. Since that moment it has been endlessly debated – not just his move but the manner in which he informed the world. I don’t need to add to that debate as every possible position has been staked out at this point and there really shouldn’t be anything left to say.

Especially since Michael Jordan weighed in yesterday and basically called LeBron a pansy. I’m paraphrasing.

Last Tuesday, George Steinbrenner died. While it shouldn’t be shocking that an ill 80-year old died, especially one with such a fondness for calzones, we still had to hear about it for about 24 hours straight from our friends and YESPN. Sorry ESPN. Sometimes I can’t tell the Yankees network and ESPN apart.

While George’s passing and LeBron’s Decision seems to have nothing in common, outside of the relentless over-exuberance of ESPN, I think they do. I think LeBron’s ego-fest on TV was the most straight-forward example of a phenomenon that seems to signal the end of a sports ownership best exemplified by Steinbrenner.

In the sports world, where for years a small group of powerful, rich, old (and mostly white) men held all of the cards, the world has flipped upside down. The power has come to the people.

Today, it is not the owners that truly rule the sports landscape. It is the players. The workers have risen up and revolution is at hand. Maybe all of that hysterical fear-mongering at Fox News was right about the US turning into a socialist state.

The Three Amigos now playing in Miami are the best example of this of course. D-Wade, LeBron and to a lesser extent Chris “Ringo” Bosh, held the basketball world captive while they pretended to debate and decide where they wanted to play. Billionaire owners came to Akron to kiss the ring of King James and begged for him to sign with their squad. Have we ever seen owners grovel like this before?

Of course, any time there are free agents, they are wined and dined and recruited but it tends to be equal parts wooing and vetting by teams. Not this time. Owners came to see LeBron and danced for him like monkeys.

There was no vetting by these teams. No physicals (remember LeBron’s mysterious sore elbow last spring that so impacted his playoff performance? Once free agency started that disappeared faster than a bottle of bourbon at Dan Gilbert’s house). Nothing. If James had anointed one of these teams as his chosen destination, they would have accepted him with open arms – even if he mowed down half the population in a shooting spree on his way out of Cleveland.

SIDEBAR:  One question that can never be answered because no one would admit: how do the owners of the Clippers, Nets and Knicks feel now, realizing that LeBron lacks killer instinct to lead a championship team? Knowing he just wants to be one of the boys and not feel the pressure to carry a team, is he less attractive to other teams? These teams were willing to sell their souls for LeBron. Now that it turns out he would rather be a sidekick, than the greatest of all time is there actually relief for some of these teams?

While LeBron is the most egregious example of the power shift in sports, he is not the only one.

It is July, so that means Brett Favre is playing his annual “will-he, won’t he” dance. In the process, he holds an entire team hostage. The Vikings essentially have to prepare for 2 seasons at the same time: the 2010 Season With Brett and the 2010 Season Without Brett. Unwilling to pressure the redneck diva, they can only wait and see just like the rest of us. Did the Vikings go out and get a free agent quarterback in the off-season (since they are convinced Tarvaris Jackson is not the answer)? No. They wouldn’t want to offend Brett. So, instead we are less than two weeks from training camp starting and the Vikings aren’t sure if their starting quarterback will even play this season.

Obviously after last season the Vikings are a hot pick for the Super Bowl (you know “assuming…”) but I ask you has any Super Bowl team ever had their head coach travel to the hometown of their quarterback just to find out if he might/maybe/pretty-please could let them know if he will play this year?

What a long time since 2008, when the Packers, tired of Favre’s annual flip-flop, named his successor, whether he was coming back or not.

While LeBron and Brett are the most obvious and painful examples of the new power structure they aren’t alone.

Raja Bell turned down an offer from the best team in the NBA to play for the Utah Jazz. Maybe he has a thing for choirs and ski slopes. 

Ochocinco and T.O. have their own TV shows. This despite T.O. not currently even having a team to play for.

It isn’t a question of why players are now the Ari Gold’s of the NFL, but rather what took so long? Ask any advertising company and they will tell you it is players, not teams that drive sales. Who do you think is more important to Nike and the NBA – LeBron or Dan Gilbert? If you have to ask, maybe the Heat colored LeBron Witness t-shirt already available on NBA.com will help you figure out the answer.

Both the NBA and the NFL have used individuals to drive the leagues growth – marketing players more than teams. So, is it any wonder that these same players, the ones the leagues put on a pedestal in the first place, now call the shots more than some anonymous rich guys? Especially in a post-Goldman Sachs/Bear Stearns world where rich guys are always the enemy. Unless they became rich because they are really good at sports, of course.

No one ever praised the Packers community based ownership structure when they went to the 2008 NFC title game. No, it was the sole result of the gunslinger under center. Should the team be surprised when that same player suddenly sees himself as above the team?

Even today, the potential 3^rd string quarterback for the Broncos has his own signature shoe and the fastest selling NFL jersey. This for a guy that literally has no accomplishments at the pro level and most likely won’t see more than a handful of snaps for his team; though in this instance his team feels almost coincidental to the legend.

All of this revolution will inevitably end in backlash. We sit here today a year from potentially having no football or basketball seasons as both leagues face a re-negotiation of their collective bargaining agreements. With unprecedented costs (i.e. record breaking salaries) and lower revenues thanks to lower ticket sales and the slowly recovering economy, the owners of these teams are going to negotiate hard for concessions from the players. Team owners don’t become wealthy enough to buy a team without having the force of will to get things done their way. You can expect the cold hard boot of ownership to make a strong statement in next year’s negotiations. All of this newly discovered power for the people may not last as long as you can say ‘Mikhail Prokhorov’.

There is one alternative to the return of harsh dictatorial owners beating back the newly discovered liberties by players: a player-owned team.

Players are certainly getting rich enough to afford owning a team. Think of the contracts that D-Wade, Bosh and LeBron are signing with Miami. Imagine instead, they pooled that salary into ownership. Like an actor taking a percentage of ticket sales, players could for the first time have a stake in the success of the franchise. Not only would they be more incented to make decisions in the best interest of the team but can you imagine a team not having to pay its best players in addition to generating profit for its owner? The teams cost structure would be hundreds of millions dollars less than every other team. That allows for signing more players or helping offset the cyclical nature of sports revenues.

Now, I am sure there are at least 47 different clauses against this in both the owner’s agreements and the player union agreements but why? How does this hurt the game?

Building two-way loyalty between a player and his team? That is a revolution any fan can get behind.

Steinbrenner couldn’t have picked a better time to head to that great, big ballpark in the sky.

I am back today with my best suggestions as to who each NFC team should draft – whether they want to or not.

NFC East

Dallas Cowboys – Sitting in his War Room on Thursday, I imagine Jerry Jones will command his team to ‘go draft the best’. Afraid of their owner’s wrath, the Cowboys draft Jahvid Best despite a multitude of running backs on the roster. On the bright side, coming from northern California, Best should be able to help Jones expand his wine appreciation to some less popular labels.

New York Giants – After last season’s epic collapse of the Giants running game, there is a need to find some new blood for the Giants backfield. Dexter McCluster, the hybrid running back/receiver out of Ole Miss would finally give the Giants a playmaking threat. And it gives Eli Manning someone to reminisce with about all those crazy nights at the Ole Miss Alpha Delta Pi house out of earshot from the old ball and chain. Man, those AD Pi’s are WILD.  

Philadelphia Eagles – In the last year, the Eagles have jettisoned long time Safety Brian Dawkins, running back Brian Westbrook and quarterback Donovan McNabb. In steps Kevin Kolb at quarterback and LeSean McCoy at running back. Now, the Eagles can draft Eric Berry at Safety. There is no chance that Eagles fans could come up with bad names to call him with a last name like Berry. On the bright side, if that doesn’t motivate him to play well nothing will.

Washington Redskins – The Redskins just traded for a veteran QB that is occasionally shaky and prone to errors in big spots. If Shanahan’s handling of Jake Plummer in Denver is any indication, expect the Skins to draft a talented and arrogant quarterback with little history of winning in college. Coincidentally, that exact phrase is written on Jimmy Clausen’s business cards.

NFC North

Minnesota Vikings – Of course this time of year, there is one big question in Minnesota. Everyone needs to know when the team’s most important player will return. I for one am not worried about it. Joe Nathan’s replacement has done fine in the closer role for the Twins so far. As for that other guy. I would suggest drafting Jevan Snead out of Ole Miss as a potential ‘back-up plan’ but does any Viking fan really have the appetite for dealing with another quarterback out of Mississippi?

Green Bay Packers – In a year after Aaron Rodgers spent most of the snaps running for his life, the Packers need to get some more help on the offensive line. Mike Iupati, the guard out of Idaho is a perfect fit in more ways than one. He is a Samoan from the northwest rather than a redneck from the south, his name has too many vowels at the beginning of it rather than too many consonants at the end. He is the exact opposite of a certain player none too popular around Lambeau these days.

Detroit Lions – After addressing the offense over the last couple of drafts, the Lions need to start shoring up their defense. Gerald McCoy, the defensive tackle out of Oklahoma is a good fit. With a quarterback that couldn’t beat Florida in college and a wide receiver from a mediocre ACC team, it only makes sense to draft a defensive player that couldn’t beat Texas. Now the Lions may achieve their dream of being as good as a second rate college team. Quite a step up over the last few years for the Lions.

Chicago Bears – The Bears should trade up to draft Ndamukong Suh, to help fortify the defensive line with the release of Alex Brown and the inevitable Tommy Harris injury. Plus then Adewale Ogunleye won’t be the toughest pronunciation on the team. Oh wait, the Bears have no picks to trade up since acquiring Jay Cutler? Wow, that trade keeps paying big dividends, huh Bears fans?

NFC South

Tampa Bay Buccaneers – In his first year as head coach, Raheem Morris cleaned house of the veterans that made up one of the better defenses in the league. Now they are one of the worst. I don’t know who the Bucs could draft to improve them but I know one person they won’t draft: Myron Rolle. If Morris’s massive insecurity kept him from keeping Derrick Brooks on the roster, what are the odds he could handle Rhodes Scholar Rolle on his team?

Carolina Panthers – Taylor Mays, USC’s freaky athlete Safety, would be an immediate improvement for the Panthers secondary. And at 6’3”, 230 pounds, he is more than big enough to fend off any practice time attacks by Steve Smith.

Atlanta Falcons – Last year seemed to demonstrate that Michael Turner may have been a one-year wonder in Atlanta. Maybe it is time the Falcons look for another runner for Turner to split carries with. CJ Spiller is the best running back (and maybe athlete) in the draft. Plus coming from Clemson I am sure he is well acquainted with the Georgia Dome turf, home to the Chick Fil-A Peach Bowl where the 3^rd place ACC team annually plays.

New Orleans Saints – They may not need him, but really is there any other team that Tim Tebow should play for? They are named the Saints! During the next hurricane he can hold up the levies by himself.

NFC West

St. Louis Rams – Seeking to re-ignite the offense formerly known as the The Greatest Show on Turf, the Rams will draft Sam Bradford. Bradford is a natural fit after leading Bob Stoops record breaking offense at Oklahoma. As long as the Rams don’t play in a BCS Bowl, I have complete confidence in Sam being able to bring his collegiate success to the pros.

San Francisco Forty-Niners – Always seeking some talent to make their horrid quarterback situation look somewhat mediocre, the Forty-Niners recently traded for Ted Ginn Jr. The perfect player to complement Ginn would be Arrelious Benn out of Illinois. Like Ginn, Benn is an oft-injured, underperforming but speedy and talented wide receiver out of the Big Ten. See? Like they are twins separated at birth.

Seattle Seahawks – Brian Bulaga is the natural fit for the Seahawks. Not only could he potentially step in and address the massive gap left by Walter Jones’ retirement at left tackle but with a last name that sounds like a fish egg appetizer he would fit right at home in a town known best for throwing fish around.

Arizona Cardinals – the Cardinals are still looking for more help on the defensive side of the ball. This offseason they lost linebacker Carlos Dansby and Safety Antrell Rolle but picked up walking mouth Joey Porter and Rex Ryan regurgitation Kerry Rhodes. If the Cardinals draft USC defensive end Everson Griffen not only could he help fortify their defensive line but will also stand in as a hot tub buddy for Matt Leinart, a huge gap on the team currently. That is unless the Cardinals doubt Leinart’s starting ability and trade for Ben Roethlisberger. Big Ben and Leinart on the same team? The ladies of Arizona won’t know what him them. Literally.

Today the NFL powers-that-be voted to change the overtime rules, so that in the postseason, the loser of the OT coin toss will still be granted one posession if the winner of the coin toss scores only a field goal.

Obviously, there is only one man to thank.

No, not Roger Goodell silly. Though his support and lobbying helped gain the number of votes required to pass the measure, Roger is merely a foot soldier to the real power behind the NFL.

Brett Favre.

After massive out-cry from the press that their favored son was never given an opportunity to throw yet another game-ending NFC championship interception, it finally became convenient for the NFL to recognize the long-held truth that field goal kickers are better today than they were when the OT rules were put in place thirty plus years ago.

Goodell has been in the commissioner’s office for almost 4 years. The statistics for improved accuracy of field goals and the impact of moving the kick-off spot back 5 yards have been availble for longer than that.

The only difference between a year ago at this time and today – beside Obama’s finally passing some legislation – is that Brett Favre failed on the biggest stage and helped shine a spotlight  on the problem for his media apologists to rail against.

In this view, Brett didn’t throw away the NFC Championship when he threw that interception in the final minutes that ended what should have been the game winning drive for the Vikings. No, it is the arcane OT rules that kept Brett from the Super Bowl.

I have long joked about the massive crush many in the media harbor for the Wrangler-wearing, gun-slinger from Mississippi. But never did I imagine the NFL would actually change the rules to help off-set his inevitable post-season failure.

Mea culpa, Brett. I shall never doubt your power again.

In some ways today is very different from the world in 2004.

In 2004, a huge budget science-fiction movie won the Oscar for best picture as well as 10 other Oscars. This year, a similar film lost in practically every category that matters.

In 2004, the last Oldsmobile was manufactured thanks in large part to GM’s inability to compete with the Japanese auto companies. This year, one of those Japanese companies can’t figure out how to keep their cars from running out of control.

In 2004, the Boston Red Sox was everyone’s sentimental favorite, lovable loser baseball team. This year, they are an underperforming, overpaid team with the most obnoxious fan-base in the country.

In 2004, Ronald Reagan died. This year, he was resurrected by Ron Howard and Jim Carrey.

But in one way, 2004 and 2010 are very similar. Jake Delhomme, LaDainian Tomlinson and Terrell Owens are three of the biggest stories in the NFL.

Three former super stars well beyond their playing primes are some of the marquee names still available in the NFL free agency. In 2004, every team would have vied for the services of the best running back, (possibly) the best wide receiver and one of the best quarterbacks in the NFL. Today, all three are greeted with the deafening sound of silence.

Today LT visited the Vikings and may be off to the Jets tomorrow. Delhomme’s name has been mentioned in connection with Cleveland. At the other end of Ohio, T.O. just departed Cincinnati and left such an outstanding impression that the Bengals immediately went out and signed Antonio Bryant whose ceiling as a player is as a less consistent Braylon Edwards.

In case you have forgotten – that isn’t good.  

So, where should each of these veterans end up?

Tomlinson

Current Interested teams: The Vikings and Jets are both looking at LT to replace the departed Chester Taylor and Thomas Jones respectively. Which is sort of like trading in your Hyundai Sonata for a Hummer. Sure the Sonata isn’t flashy or exciting but it is generally dependable. The Hummer was really cool several years ago but is now just a relic that needs constant attention.

If LT was replaced as a third down back by Darren Sproles in San Diego, I am not sure I understand the rationale of moving him into that role in Minnesota or New York. LT’s strength is getting in the end zone: he isn’t explosive anymore and doesn’t make people miss in the open field. Do you know what the strengths of both Adrian Peterson and Shonn Greene are? Getting in the end zone and the tough extra yard. Plus they maintain explosive ability and can make people miss. How does LT help either of these teams?

Where he should go: LT’s weakness is speed and explosiveness and an ability to break the big play. Doesn’t it make sense to pair him with someone that can do that but can’t take the play to play pounding? How about in Philly with LeSean McCoy? LT can take some of the hits absorbed by Brian Westbrook last year.

My personal favorite idea though is to move him to Chicago. Matt Forte is a nice quick running back that can catch the ball but last year demonstrated he isn’t ready to be an every down back. LT can come in and take the short yardage runs that stuffed Forte last year. Plus LT and Jay Cutler can share notes on how big of an a-hole Phillip Rivers is.

Delhomme

Current Interested Teams: Jake has visited Cleveland in the wake of Derek Anderson’s less than magnanimous exit. Derek made Jay Cutler’s whining and moaning exit last year from Denver look almost humble and appreciative. There have also been rumors that the Cardinals have debated bringing in Jake as a competitor or back-up to Matt Leinart, which is ironic given that it was the Cardinals in the playoffs over a year ago that picked off Jake 5 times and turned him into the quarterbacking equivalent of Charles Barkley on the golf course.

While thematically, I can understand why the Cardinals might be interested in Jake (just like Kurt Warner: picking up a formerly successful quarterback that has fallen on hard times in his last couple years), it is in the details that makes this scary. Warner was successful because of his accuracy. Jake’s accuracy is about as good as Rip Torn driving home after a night at the bar.

The idea of Jake trying to complete passes to the receiving corps in Cleveland is also absolutely frightening. If he can’t complete passes to some of the best receivers in the game (Steve Smith, for example) what would he do with the Browns contingent? Not to mention how his fragile mental state would handle boos reigning down from the Dawg Pound. If the Cardinals turned him into Charles Barkley as a golfer, the Browns could send him all the way to becoming Charles Barkley behind the wheel of a car.

Where he should go: Really Jake’s only value now is as a calming presence on the bench for a young QB entrenched as a starter that can in a worst case scenario come in and hand the ball off. How about Detroit? Their back-up last year was Daunte Culpepper. That might be the only position in the league where Jake is a step-up. Even on his worst day.

Owens

Current Interested Teams: With the Bengals signing Bryant and the Ravens nabbing Anquan Boldin and re-signing Derrick Mason there aren’t teams immediately on the horizon with an interest in T.O. Hard to believe that people aren’t beating down the door of a 36-year old, temperamental wide receiver with a history of calling out his quarterback and greatly overestimating his own abilities.

Where he should go: Isn’t it obvious? T.O. needs a coach that is not afraid of players with bad attitudes or players that are past their prime that have been given up for dead by their current teams. T.O. should definitely be the prime candidate for the Bill Romanowski memorial locker in Mike Shanahan’s Redskins locker room. If having a 6^th offensive coordinator doesn’t destroy Jason Campbell’s confidence, T.O. berating him and Shanahan drafting a rookie back-up to back him up should do it.

In 2004, we re-elected George W. Bush.

Could sending T.O. to D.C. today really end up any worse?

Last night, the focus of NBC’s Olympic coverage was Ice Dancing. I believe this is the first time I have ever suffered through this abomination some would call a sport. Basically, if you are lucky enough to be in the hospital or suffering from blinding cataracts and did not see it, ice dancing is like figure skating with all of the challenging athletic aspects removed. Do they have to complete jumps? Nope. Do they throw their partner? Nuh-uh.

To my untrained eye, the goal of ice-dancing is to pick a culture different from your own, boil it down to its simplest stereotypes and create a dance to some clichéd music from that culture while twirling and dancing around the ice. That is it. This is Dancing with the Stars, add ice, subtract the stars (though it could be argues Dancing with the Stars doesn’t really have stars either). Yet, someone will be an Olympic champion at this.

I know there has been a great controversy over a Russian couple’s use of an aboriginal theme. But how about the insult to all westerners by the French couple dancing to some duet of ‘Thank God I’m a Country Boy’ featuring Dolly Parton? Or the American duo’s Slumdog Dancing Queen number?

I guess, like good comedy, if someone isn’t insulted Ice Dancing wasn’t a success.

Anyway, suffering through this and NBC clubbing us over the head with the feigned suspense of hours old drama predictably featuring US Olympians winning makes we wish for a simpler time. You know, like last football season.

While it would be very easy to predict who will win most NBC primetime events as they have already occurred, it isn’t so easy in football. So, how did I do back in September making predictions on what would occur in the NFC?

NFC East

The popular pick these days is the Eagles. They fortified their offensive line, picked up another fragile skill player in Jeremy Maclin and locked down the support of the pro-Baby Seal Clubbing lobby with the signing of Michael Vick. On the negative side, they lost their defensive guru to cancer, signed yet another fragile skill player and ensured every McNabb interception will elicit “We want Vick” chants from the crowd. I call that a wash. On the other hand, the Giants were the best team in the game for much of last year; only falling apart after Plaxico took an old saying just a little too literally. With an entire offseason to adjust to a Plaxico-less world (including drafting Hakeem Nicks who has Burress’ athletic gifts but not his itchy trigger finger) and the return of Osi Umenyiora to their defense, I say the Giants return to their place atop the division. What about the Cowboys and Redskins, you ask? Well, they are both worth a lot. I guess that counts for something.

Winner: Giants (11-5)

Wild Card: Eagles (10-6)

Actual Winner: Cowboys (11-5)

Actual Wild Card: Eagles (11-5)

SD: Who would have thought this would be the year that the Cowboys learn how to win games in December? Who would have guessed that the emergence of some wide receiver with a name that sounds like a character on Gossip Girl would be the catalyst for the Cowboys? Who could have predicted that the Giants would fold after a fast start thanks to Eli Manning not being very good, no running game and a porous defense? OK, when I see it written down it seems a little more obvious. But at least the Eagles were predictably above-average but not great. In fact, shouldn’t that be McNabb and Reid’s tombstone someday: Here lies Donovan McNabb: Predictably Good but Never Great.

2010 Projection: Do the Cowboys keep it up another year? Does Mike Shanahan coaching the Redskins have an impact on this division? Will the Eagles get over the hump? Will the Giants regain their Super Bowl winning form? Will I stop asking so many rhetorical questions? The answers to all of these is No. But the Cowboys have the highest upside and as proven this year Tony Romo and Wade Phillips are perfectly adequate in non-big games. Let’s assume knocking around 3 mediocre teams all season, won’t require Tony to win a big game until the playoffs.

2010 Winner: Cowboys

NFC North

Probably the most interesting yet simultaneously least likable division in football, the Tom Cruise division if you will. With Old Man Winter unretiring yet again for a 2009 Spite World Tour and coming back to the Vikings and the acquisition of Cry-Baby Jay in Chicago, there are now 3 teams with legitimate plans to win this division (sorry Lions – win one game and then we’ll talk). As I have discussed I just do not believe Favre makes the Vikings better. Combining his appearance changing the Viking’s offensive personality with the probability he will get hurt at some point and I see the Vikings underachieving. As far as Cutler is concerned  – I just don’t get it. It is pretty much universally agreed that no one likes Jay Cutler. Yet, despite never being a winner (I mean never, he last won the same year Matt Cassell last started) and being hated by everyone including his own parents (that’s conjecture on my part), he is going to be the galvanizing force that propels the Bears to the Super Bowl? Really? That’s not the Jay I know. The Jay I know will whine, complain and point fingers the moment something goes wrong. The self-destructions in both Minnesota and Chicago will leave Green Bay as the clear cut champions. With a strong, reliable leader at quarterback, a revamped defense and good receivers all the Packers need to do is re-discover their running game. No pressure Ryan Grant.

Winner: Packers (11-5)

Wild Card: None

Actual Winner: Vikings (12-4)

Actual Wild Card: Packers (11-5)

SD: I pretty much nailed the Packers (toot, toot!) but the Favre experiment in Minnesota went much better than I expected. I still stand by their fatal flaw being how Favre’s appearance changed the offensive identity of this team but I did not expect Favre’s presence to turn Sidney Rice and Visanthe Shiancoe into Jerry Rice and Brent Jones. And that seems so obvious in retrospect. Thankfully, the old Brett re-emerged just in time to end the Vikings season, break Vikings fans hearts and keep me from eating crow for an entire off-season.

2010 Projection: Let’s be clear. Brett Favre is not retiring. He just isn’t. I don’t care what he says. With that said, does the 2009 Brett Favre show up to Vikings camp several weeks after the rest of the team, or does an older version of the 2008 Favre show up to Vikings camp several weeks after the rest of the team? Call me the eternal pessimist but if a guy averages 17 INTs across a career and one season throws 5, that is an aberration not a trend. If the Packers go get some offensive linemen this offseason, that should put them over the top.

2010 Winner: Packers

NFC South

In the merry-go-round that is the NFC South each year brings a new surprise team. Last year the Falcons were the out-of-nowhere team that rose from the ashes and made the playoffs. This year I think it will be the Saints. Much like a plane crash survivor always trembles at the least turbulence, I just can’t forget the horrific display put on by Jake Delhomme in the playoffs last year. Despite a great defense and great running game, Jake’s presence single-handedly ends any consideration I might make for the Panthers. Yes, his performance last January was that bad. Remember how your feelings about U2 changed after the Zooropa tour? That is me and Jake right now. The Bucs are in what could charitably be described as re-building mode. I tend to think of it more as self-destruction mode what with choosing to start Byron Leftwich and Cadillac Williams behind a shaky offensive line – no injury concerns there. The Falcons should be as good as last year. Unfortunately they play a significantly tougher schedule and have higher expectations so being as good won’t be good enough. That leaves the Saints. A team that has been the ‘IT’ team more often over the last five years than Reggie Bush has been identified as a potential fantasy sleeper. It is only fitting, now that everyone has given up on Reggie ever being anything more than Kim Kardashian’s purse holder that the Saints finally live up to their hype.

Winner: Saints (10-6)

Wild Card: Falcons (9-7)

Actual Winner: Saints (13-3)

Actual Wild Card: None

SD: I finally get the Steve Young memorial monkey off my back, with a correct call. For the record, the Falcons went 9-7 this year but didn’t qualify for the Wild Card. Jake Delhomme picked up right where he left off and the Bus were a joke. So I pretty much nailed this one. Though, I did miss on Reggie Bush – he is still pretty much best known as Kim’s purse holder, but hey 4 out of 5 ain’t bad.

2010 Projection: the Saints have a lot of players to re-sign this spring and surprise Super Bowl winners tend to go one of two ways in the year after: they come back with confidence overflowing and play like champions or they come back content and play like the Steelers. If they can get the core of their team back, the Saints have so little competition here they should be able to repeat, unlike every NFC South winner this decade.

2010 Winner: Saints

NFC West

Remarkably, the NFC West is the home of our defending NFC champions. Its’ true – you can look it up. Even stranger, that team is named the Cardinals! So, naturally they are the favorites again this year, right? Sorry, desert dwellers I am not buying it. Losing both coordinators and relying on stubble-ific, god-fearing grandpappy Kurt Warner makes me think the 8-8 regular season is more emblematic of your team than the unbelievable ‘Cardanuary’ performance turned in by Larry Fitzgerald. Maybe my year in the Emerald City has caused me to drink the latte about the Seahawks but I think they are the winners of the NFC West. They have finally found a receiver and their already strong defense got better with the arrival of Aaron Curry. As long as Hasselbeck can stay healthy and they find some semblance of a running game, I think the Seahawks have enough to win this division. This is the point where I make a joke about the Forty-Niners and Rams. Unfortunately there is nothing funny about what has happened to these two teams in the last 5 years.

Winner: Seahawks (10-6)

Wild Card: None

Actual Winner: Cardinals (10-6)

Wild Card: None

SD: My picking of the Seahawks is starting to border on a “Chris Berman picking a 49er/Bills Super Bowl” level of idiocy. Every year I talk myself into them. Then Matt Hasselbeck plays the first game looking like Abe Simpson, their running game disappears and I question my own sanity. The Cardinals defied the odds and showed that the previous playoff run wasn’t a complete fluke by dominating the NFC West again. Though that is like saying Memphis dominates Conference-USA in basketball.

2010 Projection: Matt Leinart leads the Cardinals to another NFC West title. Ok, I just wanted to see it in print and, yep, it looks ridiculous. Of course writing the Forty-Niners, Seahawks or Rams are going to be division winners looks just as dumb. Could an off-season that includes a movie called ‘Hot Tub Time Machine’ actually be an omen that football’s most famous hot tub user will return to his collegiate form?

2010 Winner: Cardinals

Playoffs

Wildcard:

Eagles @ Saints: Much like the Suns of the mid-nineties in the NBA, the Saints demonstrate that a high-flying offense alone isn’t enough to win in the playoffs. TV commentators across the country rejoice in being able to recycle the age-old cliché that ‘defense wins championships’ as high quality analysis.

Falcons @ Seahawks: The inaugural Jim Mora Bowl. Do you trust a southern Dome team to win in Seattle in January? Me neither.

Divisional Playoffs:

Seahawks @ Giants: Two years ago, I never would have imagined that I would take Eli over Hasselbeck in a playoff game. Like ripples from a drop of water, the repercussions from that Super Bowl upset of the Patriots just won’t end.

Eagles @ Packers: Unlike the Saints, the Packers have a little defense to help their high-scoring offense. Therefore, unlike the Saints, the Eagles won’t beat the Packers.

NFC Championship:

Packers @ Giants: Apparently I am feeling very 2007 – as we have a re-match of the NFC Championship game. I tried to warn you that I discounted everything that happened last year. The final proof that I am feeling so 2007? No, not that I will be watching Heroes every week. Instead, I come up with a Super Bowl re-match.

NFC Champion: New York Giants

Actual NFC Champion: New Orleans Saints

SD: So the Saints had a little more defense and running game than I give them credit for and the Giants had significantly less. Rather than actually doing research, I just like to use each team’s stereotypes to predict them. Maybe I shouldn’t be so critical of Ice Dancing after all.

2010 Projection: The NFC seems wide open going into next season. We have the Favre factor – does he come back and is he the good, the bad or the ugly? The Saints, year after effect. The Cardinals with Matt Leinart taking over for Kurt Warner. The Cowboys still have Wade Phillips and Tony Romo. Which team could step up? Is there another team out there that could come out of nowhere and dominate? Who knows. The draft and free-agency season should help clarify things. But for a team with the least number of questions, right now there is one clear answer.

2010 NFC Winner: Packers