I should start by stating a simple fact. I love football. Even when my teams are nearly as disappointing as Two Broke Girls. I say this so you know that this criticism comes from a place of love.

Football fans are not good with time.

Maybe it comes from enjoying a sport where 60 minutes last over 3 hours, I don’t know. Whatever the reason, the football world just doesn’t seem to understand how time works.

The century is now almost 12 years old. It is still pre-pubescent. If it were a child, it still might be listening to its parents. While many twelve-year olds feel like events that occur each weekend are THE MOST IMPORTANT THING THAT HAS EVER OCCURED, over time they will learn that little Bobby not asking them to the winter dance wasn’t the end of the world (especially when he doesn’t quite finish the 11^th grade and ends up picking up trash for the county). Most college football fans have now lived in 2 separate centuries. Heck, they have even lived in 2 separate millennia. They should understand the concepts of time. But apparently they don’t.

All of this is a long way of saying, that I am getting tired of all fo these ‘The Games of the Century’.

The media is tirelessly building up this weekend’s game between #1 LSU and #2 Alabama as the most important football contest ever played. Naturally, it has earned the moniker Game of the Century, which makes it at least the 8^th or 9^th Game of the Century, since the turn of the century.

Can we please just stop. Are you really telling me that in the next 88 years there won’t be another game of equal import? Is this game more important than the USC/Texas national championship game of 2005? The Florida/Alabama SEC title game in 2009? The 2000 FSU/Miami game? Nebraska/Oklahoma game of 2002?

No, of course isn’t, but in a world where anything that happened last week is now ancient history, the here and now is always more important.

100 years is a long time. Less than 100 years ago, the Titanic sank and Theodore Roosevelt ran as a 3^rd party candidate for President. If TV is right, 100 years from now, we will be living in pod-like sky-scrapers, robots will wear aprons and be programmed with sarcasm and our clothes will come with unattached rings around the ankles.

In 1993, #1 FSU visited #2 Notre Dame for another Game of the Century. The game ended with Notre Dame winning 31-24 with FSU’s Heisman trophy winning quarterback Charlie Ward’s pass to the end zone broken up by some anonymous Notre Dame player that later was drafted too high by the NFL, was subsequently cut and ended up helping cause the 2008 financial crisis after landing a cushy job on Wall Street (some of this is speculation).

This game was truly a game for the century. Yet, less than 20 years later, we have already have at least 10 other Games of the Century.

If we are all puttering around our flying cars in 2099 still talking about the epic 2011 LSU/Alabama game, I will gladly acknowledge how wrong I am. But until then, let’s pour some Spike 80DF on all of this Game of the Century talk and kill it before it can take root further.

Coincidentally, I think there is at least one Alabama fan that can help us with that.

Shadow: It has really been an up and down year so far with THH.  Turner has yet to make his inaugural appearance…..perhaps he is waiting for the OU-OSU matchup when we should know if OU is firmly back in the National Championship picture…or not.  I haven’t managed to turn in entries for even half the weeks.  Lucky for the two of us, SuperDave still more than ably fills up this space each week with wit, wisdom, and carefully crafted reflections on football, society, and life.  Since this is the month of Thanksgiving…I am thankful SD doesn’t kick the two of us out for lack of activity.

In honor of all of these Games of the Century, THH this week found 4 separate match-ups that at one time or other was named a Game of the Century. This weekend we will cheer on the team we cheered on in that original match-up.

College:

LSU vs Bama (2011)

SD: Let’s start with this year’s Game of the Century. Really the only college football game that matters, and, even though I have an aversion to SEC over-hype that rivals my aversion to sitcoms on CBS, I have been looking forward to this game for weeks.  On one hand I have friends who went to Bama that live and die with the Tide and my all time favorite college football book focuses on Bama. On the other hand, I have always held an affinity for LSU; it feels almost like a cousin to FSU. It is in the top two of my college football game experience bucket list (1a and 1b are attending games at LSU and Ole Miss). For me this comes down to the coaches. Like any right thinking American, I can’t get enough of the Les Miles Crazy Train. Nick Saban is a humorless, loyalty-free mercenary that happens to be a very good coach. As I am reminded every day while sitting in a conference room surrounded by ambitious, arrogant Type-A’s, I will take a sense of humor over professional success any day. Geaux Tigers!

<Postscript: I wrote the entire preceding paragraph before reading this but I am now more confident in this decision than any I have made since I advised Mike Leach that the best way to deal with the spoiled, entitled son of a TV broadcaster is to lock him in a shed.>

Shadow: In 6^th grade I read a biography of Bear Bryant.  It was the first time in school that I had to read a non-fiction book of that length, and it was the only book on the list to choose from that had anything to do with sports.  Years later (last year in fact), I read Rammer Jammer Yellow Hammer.  This is the last non-fiction book I have read.  There is nothing significant in these two facts, other than the fact that they seem to be telling me I should root for Alabama.

Texas Tech vs Texas (2008)

SD: For those that live in west Texas it is easy to feel lost in the shuffle. While you spend days worried about the government coming to steal your small patch of dust and weeds, and fending off waves of illegal immigrants invading your homeland to take jobs you have no interest in doing for less money that you would be willing to accept, the rest of the world just goes on spinning. But on one day in 2008, you were the center of the universe. #1 Texas, from that fruity, weird city of Austin came to town. In the end a dropped interception, a short out-pass and a missed tackle led to the upset few expected. For one day, west Texas was more than the place where a village was missing its idiot from 2001 to 2008. Being a loather of all things Burnt Orange (including the pretentious use of the word Burnt), I cheered on the Red Raiders that day. As I will again on Saturday.

Shadow: While watching this game, I felt the same way I feel anytime I am watching a game with two teams who have the word “Texas” as part of their name…..is there some way for both these teams to lose?  In matchups where I don’t really have any vested or passing interest in, I tend to pull for the underdog, so I was most certainly rooting for Tech and watched with dismay as they kept letting Texas back into the game.  When the Texas DB had the game handed to him and he dropped the interception I swear I had an inkling that something special would happen….and that special something would be the hearts of Texas fans breaking when Tech completed their own game winning drive.  That it happened in an unnecessarily risky manner with the pass to Crabtree with time almost expiring…well, that was just icing on the cake.

NFL:

Giants vs Patriots (2008)

SD: At Super Bowl XLII, the Patriots arrived undefeated on the season, while the Giants had won one improbable game after another just to get an invite. On paper this was a mis-match greater than heart disease against the menu from KFC. America may be the greatest favorite in global history, but we still love the underdog. I, however was cheering on the Patriots that day. As I said at the time, I like seeing historical greatness. Nothing about Eli Manning’s hail mary throw pinned to David Tyree’s helmet or the subsequent pass to gun and sweatpant enthusiast Plaxio Burress makes me think of greatest team ever. However, in hindsight, if I had known that this game would give us Michael Strahan yelling ‘More Meat!’ in a Subway commercial and that Tyree would be out of the league and working at a Subway 3 years later… I would have cheered even harder for the Patriots.

Shadow: I loved the Pats when they were underdogs and beat the Greatest Show on Turf (aided by the fact that I boldly predicted the win at a Super Bowl party where literally everyone else said there was no way the Rams lose).  I loved them being the first team in my memory to shun the ego-driven stylized individual introductions and asked to be announced as a team that day.  And then….as their success bred more success…and the head Hood Rat made his fashion statements….and they found a diamond in the rough QB late in the draft while the Broncos continued to fumble trying to find the heir to Elway….I began to hate them.  Really hate them.  And then came the perfect season.  And all through the season I hated them.  And in the playoffs I hated them.  And, truth be known, outwardly during the Super Bowl, I still pretended to hate them…..but secretly, and this is something I have never admitted until now, I was rooting for the perfect season.  Don’t know if it was because I was tired of seeing the ’72 Dolphins popping champagne every year….don’t know if it was because this could be something I would probably never see again in my lifetime….I can’t explain it.  But for that Sunday, I wanted Tom and Randy and Bill to finish the quest.

Denver at Oakland (1977)

SD: An AFC championship game may not be the Game of the Century for everybody but when a football-crazy town enjoys its first real success and plays its arch-enemy for a championship at the same time, it quickly becomes all consuming. Now, I was 2 years old at the time, living outside Kansas City, so I was most likely much more interested in finding out why Oscar was such a Grouch than this game. But I am confident that if presented carefully reasoned arguments for each team I would have been an early convert to Broncos country. I mean, their defense was named after a soda. What 2 year old doesn’t like the sugar rush of a soda?

Shadow: SD- you suck.  I didn’t think you could top the fact that you just made me admit to rooting for the Patriots….now you have uncovered my darkest NFL secret.  When this game was played, I had just turned 6, and I was still 18 months away from moving to Colorado from Iowa.  My mom was dating someone new (who would become husband #3 for her, and the person I still consider “Dad” for me).  I remember nothing from the game….I really only have spotty memories of much of the NFL prior to about 1981-82.  But here is what I do know.  When we moved to Colorado, my dad, and me by extension, were Houston Oiler fans..and this was due to the original “Snake”.  He was a big Stabler fan.  I could call my Dad for confirmation, but I have a feeling we were rooting for Stabler and the Raiders in this tilt with the Broncos.  There.  Are you happy?  I may have rooted for the Raiders against the Broncos. 

Coming into the 2011 college football season, it doesn’t feels like we are facing the dawn of a new season. Rather, it feels like we are emerging from our debris covered shelters into a post-apocalyptic world.

After an off-season filled with controversy; teams being busted breaking every rule in the book and schools flirting with new conferences like a divorcee out at Applebee’s on a Thursday night, the college football world isn’t the same one we left last January. Where buildings with flashy neon signs that said THE Ohio State University and THE U once stood, are now piles of rubble.

But like the obligatory rose growing from the rubble that is a less then subtle metaphor for hope in apocalypse films, college football too has moments that remind us why we love college football so much.

They are called Saturdays.

So with Saturdays about to kick off, it is time to make my bold and almost guaranteed to be entirely wrong, season predictions. And this year, just like ESPN scripted it, the college football success comes down to one thing.

It is all about the quarterbacks.

For me to even consider a team as a national title contender, a team needs to have a proven quarterback.

Last year, Florida and Texas started the season as top five teams. Coming off BCS bowl appearances, a number of starters returning and rosters filled with highly recruited kids coming out high school, it was just assumed they could pick up right where they had left off the year before when they combined for 2 losses.

Instead they combined for 12 losses.

What was the difference? New quarterbacks.

It was just assumed that with the coaches and talent around them, John Brantley and Garrett Gilbert could pick up where Tim Tebow and Colt McCoy had left off.

But a fancy pedigree doesn’t guarantee success. UF and UT last year aren’t the only examples of course. Matt Leinart took USC to 2 straight national title games. His followers, John David Booty, Mark Sanchez and Matt Barkley have never even sniffed a BCS title game.

Applying this lesson automatically eliminates several traditional national title contenders.

Sorry Alabama, time to go poison another tree in defeat.

Tough luck Ohio State, your tattoos this year will need frowny-faces.

Too bad Virginia Tech, another BCS bowl and we would have tried to learn what a Hokie is.

Arkansas, it was fun. Call us when Bobby Petrino abandons you mid-season or Jerry Jones buys you a championship.

With this logic, I envisioned LSU making the national championship game, given the NCAA’s new by-law that states a National title game must always involve a SEC team, but now that Jordan Jefferson tapped his inner-Garo Yapremian during a bar brawl a couple weeks ago, there are just too many open questions.

So which teams are left that fit the mold?

Oklahoma has Landry Jones, his moustache and virginity back but also a (hopefully – crossing fingers – knocking wood) tough game in Tallahassee in a couple weeks and then what appears to be a weakened Big Twelve to navigate.

Oregon should have clear sailing to the BCS title game, if they can get by LSU this weekend and Stanford later in the season. A huge if. Nothing is scarier than a Christmas tree mascot and 50,000 IT nerds spending halftime day-dreaming of becoming the next Mark Zuckerberg.

Stanford has to get by Oregon. Which is infinitely harder given the number of uniforms Oregon wears. They always say visualization is a key game preparation. How is someone supposed to visualize beating the Ducks, when they don’t know what they will look like? Are you at a distinct disadvantage if you envisioned the Ducks in white and they come out in neon green? I say yes. Andrew Luck will just have to console himself with the Heisman Trophy they are already engraving for him.

Boise State would seem poised to be in the perfect spot to finally crack the BCS title game crystal ceiling. Kellen Moore returns; they have one last year of the junior varsity schedule of the WAC. Their toughest game is against perennially overrated Georgia on opening weekend. Unfortunately for BSU, there is about 0% chance that pollsters and athletic directors will allow them to steal the money from a less-deserving BCS conference team.

Florida State has a sort of returning QB in EJ Manual, who has the physical tools to be the next Cam Newton (with fewer felonies). But after getting so badly out-coached by Bob Stoops last season, will the Noles prepare for last year’s OU game plan only to be surprised by another new wrinkle? If so, will I momentarily contemplate stabbing Josh Heupel in the kidneys for being single-handedly responsible for several of my worst moments as a FSU fan? The answer to one of these questions is yes.

The Noles also have to go Gainesville, and if Charlie Weis and Will Muschamp haven’t come to blows by then, it will be a tough game. The Noles will also have to navigate their inevitable road ACC game no-show (prime candidates: at Clemson the week after OU and the Thursday night game at Boston College). While every game is winnable, the Noles have beaten the optimist out of me over the last decade, so I will assume they come up short at least once or twice.

Oregon and Oklahoma may both lose once, but pollsters have proven over and over again, that if you are ranked at the top of the polls at the beginning of the season you are given every opportunity to stay there.

Having seen Bob Stoops coach BCS games, I can’t in good conscience pick an OU title (sorry, Turner), so it says here that the Oregon Ducks will win the national title, and Phil Knight will immediately commission 11 different versions of the national title trophy – with each trotted out before a different game next season.

Let’s just hope it doesn’t come down to a ref botching an onside kick call this time.

In a week with more than one football game every single day (with most of them not involving a MAC team for once), it seemed only appropriate to send out 2009 with a special two-part Hierarchy of Hate. Today, we tell you who to cheer for in the Bowl games and follow it up later this week with the picks for the final weekend of NFL football.

With all of these bowl games there are a lot of teams you may not know much about and therefore are not clear as to whether you cheer for or against. You don’t want to make the rookie mistake of inadvertently cheering for a team full of criminals led by a coach completely full of himself. Sure, you could just not cheer for Tennessee and minimize the chance this happens but that isn’t nearly as fun as following our guidance in the THH.

As has become my own little holiday tradition, we are picking this year’s bowl game match-ups based on college football and bowl game history. Because if there is anything we should keep in mind heading into a new year it is that those who don’t know history are destined to repeat it.

Therefore, here is your college football history edition THH. The instructions are simple. Pick your team based on how you answer each question.

(Note: All years based on regular season, not the year of the bowl game – for all of you anal rule sticklers out there.)

Shadow: Does anyone else find it interesting that in the wake of SMU returning to a bowl, and winning it no less, that Craig James is in the spotlight this week at the center of the Mike Leach firing?  Interesting footnote gleaned from his Wikipedia page:  his real name is Jesse.  Seriously.  Really.  Maybe outlaws are revered in Jacksonville (TX), but in my opinion, certain names need to be removed from eligible parental selection (see:  Manson, Charles; Bundy, Ted; Weed, Richard).  But I digress.  We are supposed to be here commenting on Bowl Season, and I am stoked that in a little less than a week I can either be on top of the world with Iowa finally breaking through and winning a BCS bowl game, or I can be preparing some sort of vigorous defense against Super Dave’s eventual Big-Slow-Big 10 versus Lithe-Fast-ACC/SEC argument.  At least Wisconsin managed to shock the world and beat the Hurricanes.  Score one for Big-Slow Midwestern schools.  BTW, one last SMU note, and I will be the first to admit (and have to Turner and SD several times) that I am very bad at knowing where NFL players went to college if it wasn’t Iowa….but I had no idea that Craig James and Erik Dickerson shared the same backfield and were nicknamed the “Pony Express”.   I really love the Internet…now if I could only get one of those new fangled iPhone thingies so I could look up random junk on Google no matter where I was. 

Alabama vs. Texas: better national championship upset: 1992 Sugar Bowl or 2005 Rose Bowl

SD: I have been thinking about that 1992 Sugar Bowl a lot lately, with the recent ESPN documentary on The U bringing back to mind those late 80’s/early 90’s Cane teams. One of things that most bothered me about the documentary was its faulty conclusion that the 1991 team really signified the end of the Cane dynasty. That, to me, is revisionist history seen through rose-colored glasses. It completely ignores the 1992 team that dominated the entire season and was viewed just as unstoppable as all the previous Cane teams. That 1992 team even gave us the Gino Torretta Memorial Heisman – which is no small feat by itself. That 1992 Alabama team was just a nice story – the resurrection of the once-mighty Crimson Tide for a surprise trip to the National championship where though being the popular sentimental favorite of old-timey sportswriters nostalgic for Bear Bryant they would be wiped out by the mighty Canes. Thankfully, this Tide team didn’t care about history and went out and dominated the Canes. While Vince Young and the Longhorns beating the USC team that had won the previous title over Oklahoma by a score of 437-4 (approximately) was surprising, the Trojans hadn’t approached the level of dominance those Canes teams had. Sorry, Texas – Roll Tide!

Turner: It has to be the running Vince Young’s on this one.  While Miami was a favorite to win, the Crimson Tide had run the SEC and won the first ever SEC Championship game.  Meanwhile, the MIGHTY USC Trojans couldn’t be beat.  The Longhorns were a 1 dimensional team that couldn’t stay on the field with USC.  Vince Young (puke) proved them otherwise.  Despite my credit to UT on this one, I’ll go against SD’s direction and hope that Alabama kicks the holy *******  *******  ******** ******* out of Texas. I HATE THEM.  HATE HATE HATE HATE.  I hope Bama shoves things so far up Jordan Shipley’s a$$ that Colt won’t be able to access it for years.

Shadow: Any game that can shed a harsh light on the travesty that is the Heisman voting (I am also looking at you Jason White in the 2004 Sugar Bowl) is something I like to see.  It was fun to see Gino and his Hurricane mates suck against Bama.  However, the 2005 Rose Bowl will always be one of those games that springs to mind when I think of truly great games that I have watched.  I had some personal hatred going into the game because of what USC did to Iowa in 2002, but it was just an awesome game that had virtually everything a college football fan could want (including some great defensive plays, despite a game featuring 79 points scored).  For that reason, I will actually have to pull for Texas….in one of the few scenarios SD probably could have come up with to make me lean that way.

Arizona vs. Nebraska: More enjoyable defeat of the Miami Hurricanes in a Bowl Game: 1993 Arizona Desert Swarm in Fiesta Bowl or 1994 Nebraska in the Orange Bowl

SD: People forget this now but for the longest time the Cornhsukers were the Buffalo Bills of the NCAA. Between a title in 1971 and their Orange Bowl win after the 1994 season, the Huskers seemed to always be in the national title hunt yet always fall short. Whether it was the Canes stopping them on that 2 point conversion in 1984 or FSU beating them in the 1993 national title game the Huskers always rode a weak schedule and Tom Osborne’s popularity to high rankings before ultimately losing in a marquee bowl game. Not sure about you, but I like the story of lovable losers. Just think how unsufferable Charlie Brown would have been if Lucy had let him kick that football. Every sport needs the ‘close but not quite’ team. Look at what has happened in baseball since the Red Sox won in 2004. I am cheering for Arizona. The desert swarm was a humorous side story for one season, before the Wildcats returned to their rightful place as a basketball only school. You know how, when baseball players first come up to the majors, they have an inordinate amount of success until the major league pitchers see enough of them to know how to pitch them? Those couple weeks of great hitting were the 1993 Arizona football team. I will take a fluke over the end of a long suffering fan base any day.

Turner: First off, this was back when the Fiesta Bowl was the “IBM OS/2 Fiesta Bowl”… I am so f***** old.  I do remember the desert swarm shutting out The U.  That was certainly great but being from Big XII country and HATING everything that Miami stood for (because they beat the crap out of OU every year in the Orange Bowl), I was really rooting for Neb in this one.  I had / have so much respect and admiration for Tommie Frazier and that running offense, plus knowing that Cory Schlesinger would be subjected to years in Detroit made it even a better story. R.I.P. Brooks Berringer (why Kyle Orton wears #8)  Good ol’ Tom Osborne got his National Championship and the U got sent home (albeit just a few miles away)

Shadow: Another set of Hurricane letdowns.  Although I would like to reward Nebraska under gutsy heralded Brooks Berringer, I just can’t overlook a defense that ended Miami’s 15 year run without being shut out.  I guarantee there is no way anyone in the Miami locker room thought they couldn’t score on Arizona…Desert Swarm or no Desert Swarm.  It is always fun to watch Miami lose, and especially nice to see them shut out.

Northwestern vs. Auburn: which team was a better Cinderella story: 1993 Auburn or 1995 Northwestern

SD: It is lost to the annals of time now, but Terry Bowden almost became the black sheep of the Bowden family a decade before Jeff Bowden ultimately did. In Terry’s first season coaching Auburn he led his team to an undefeated season, which could have in theory kept FSU from playing for the national title and winning Bobby his first national title. Thankfully, like most SEC schools Auburn was cheating. Unfortunately, unlike most SEC schools, they were caught and on probation that season. The 1995 Northwestern team was more like the 1993 Arizona team. An anomaly of a team for a school known for things other than football. Interestingly, while the Auburn team was on probation, this Northwestern team was coached by Gary Barnett who would help change the expectations of all campus hostesses while at CU years later by installing a culture that could be most charitably described as Bunny Ranch-esque. I can’t reward that kind of behavior. Well, unless benefitting directly from it. Instead, in honor of Terry’s memory I will cheer on Auburn. I guess those poor kids from Northwestern will have to make themselves feel better by getting high paying jobs and spitting on the Auburn grads, cleaning their wastebaskets each night.

Turner: This one has to be the ’95 NW Wildcats.  While Auburn did unexpectedly go undefeated and beat two top 11 teams (‘Bama and UF), they had tradition, a decent recruiting base, and at least the facilities and players to compete.  Meanwhile the tiny NW Wildcats showed up with an actor for a RB (Darnell Autry) and the fierce Pat Fitzgerald at LB they were almost destined to even with the Rose Bowl.  This team sticks out in my mind as being glued to the Rose Bowl just hoping that the small / smart school could pull it off (please note, I was at SMU at this time so I was living through NW this season).  Plus, them beating Mighty Notre Dame just makes every season a success for me

Shadow: Auburn

I had never thought about it before, but it seems pretty obvious now. The Athletic Directors of the major conferences that make up the BCS are fans of 1990’s rap. Whether it was Deion Sanders’ ”Must be the Money” or P. Diddy/Puff Daddy’s “All about the Benjamins”, the AD’s that decide the BCS bowls clearly only care about making money for themselves and their major conference constituents.

It is no secret that after the BCS Title game, all other bowl games are typically slotted based on maximizing the revenue of the individual bowls. Teams with large, active fan bases or teams with major national followings always get the nod over the up-and-coming, unknown feel-good story (see: Notre Dame, BCS appearances: 2005, 2006). However, this year the AD’s not only set up the bowls to make money this year but they also went to an extraordinary effort to ensure that those pesky non-BCS conference teams are marginalized as much as possible.

I am speaking specifically about the Fiesta Bowl match-up of Boise State and TCU. This is the biggest cop out in the history of the BCS. Every year we have a team or two from the non-BCS conferences that argue they are as good as the big boys. This year we have two of those. Yet, rather than matching them against BCS conference foes to help settle the debate, the geniuses at the BCS committee matched them up against themselves which proves….well nothing except that the BCS committee is scared to death of their mighty conferences getting taken down by another upstart.

After seeing Bama trounced by Utah last year and Boise’s miracle against OU a few years ago, the last thing the BCS committee needs is another proof point that says they can’t treat the WAC and Mountain West as second class citizens. If pollsters and the public begin to believe that those conferences have teams as strong as the major conferences, then the BCS committee fears the day when we will be arguing for a one-loss BYU team over a two-loss USC or Florida team.

Given that the members of the BCS represent those very same major conference teams, it is obviously in their best interests (of their conferences and the guys who want to keep their jobs) to get as many major conference teams in – which means keeping non-major conference teams out. If it is proven that those teams are as strong as the major conference teams, then the BCS as set up spirals into self-destruction. What happens to their precious BCS championship if TCU goes into the Sugar Bowl and routs an uninspired, disjointed and dispirited Florida team?

No, the only way to ensure that the non-BCS teams remain second class citizens and therefore can be routinely overlooked and marginalized is to just pit them against each other. Then the winner of that game is no more important than the winner of the Best Supporting Actor Oscar.

For the record, I think Boise State would get trounced by any of the other major conference BCS teams – sort of like Hawaii a couple years ago; they played an incredibly weak schedule and gave up way too many points.

But I sure would like to be able to prove it.

On to some other thoughts from Championship Saturday:

- Obviously we have to start with UF/Bama. I can’t remember a more dominating performance by a college team over another highly ranked team. There was literally only one time in the entire game where I thought UF would win. After UF scored to make it 12-10 Bama, I made the assumption that this is when UF takes over and Bama folds like a cheap lawn chair. But on the next offensive play, Mark Ingram took a perfectly called screen pass 69 yards and Bama scored a play later. After that, UF never had a chance, the Tebow Crying group was formed on Facebook and I spent all Monday morning trading emails with funny pictures of Tebow crying on the sidelines. Really, it was a perfect game in every way.

- This despite the best efforts of Gary Danielson. They often say Tebow wills his team to victory. On Saturday, Danielson was the one willing the Gators. For three quarters, he kept claiming this game was similar to last year’s when Bama lost a 3-point lead going into the 4^th quarter. Except this time it was a 13-point lead and Bama had been utterly dominant on both offense and defense the entire game. Other than that, it was the exact same Gary.

- Mark Ingram will probably win the Heisman this weekend but shouldn’t it be taken into consideration that (1) he wasn’t most the important reason Bama won this game and (2) there is a decent chance he isn’t the best player at his position on his own team. After watching Alabama the last two weeks, I am convinced if Tony Richardson was given the ball instead of Ingram, he would have as good if not better stats than Ingram. Can we really reward a guy with the Heisman for just being first string?

- While Ingram is at the podium next weekend in New York I hope he thanks his quarterback and offensive coordinator. This game was won by Greg McElroy’s flawless playing and the play-calling of offensive coordinator Jim McElwain. McElroy did more than was asked of him, making perfect passes and even taking off on two clutch runs that may have been the difference in the game (or as only Gary Danielson would say “he out-Tebowed Tebow”). Combine his flawless execution with McElwain’s play-calling and UF never had a chance. The UF defense was unprepared the entire game – except for one Wildcat play in the first quarter that (not so coincidentally) led to a three and out by Bama. After that play, UF never knew what was coming. Each new drive brought a new wrinkle and UF was reacting one step late all day.

- Each year there is a question of conference superiority and each year I argue against the SEC. Well, I may need to change that stance this year. Did you see that halftime contest of throwing footballs into giant Dr. Pepper cans? At the SEC game, a female med student from Bama hit 9 of 10 to beat a taunting, idiot from Gainesville (is there any other kind?) who made 8. In the Big Twelve game later, a woman from Nebraska won by making 2 over a woman from Texas who made zero.  9 to 8 versus 2 to 0? That sums up the SEC versus the Big Twelve better than I ever could.

- Speaking of the Big 12, am I the only one that was underwhelmed by Texas needing a last second field goal to beat a team with possibly the worst offense in America? Seriously, Nebraska had a better chance of winning if they had just punted on first down every time they got the ball to get their defense back on the field. The Bizarro Bama offense combined poor execution (my 70-year old mother has a more accurate arm than Zac Lee) with poor play-calling. Isn’t the definition of insanity doing the same thing over again and expecting a different result? Then what do you call a coordinator who calls the same off-tackle running play, 3 times every offensive series for an entire game when it didn’t work once?

- Last week, a local columnist here in Denver wrote an article arguing that Nebraska defensive lineman Ndamukong Suh deserves the Heisman. I thought it was just precious – like when a little girl asks for a Unicorn for Christmas. That changed on Saturday night, when Suh took over the Big Twelve title game. Really his only two mistakes were not lobbying to come in to play quarterback for Nebraska and rushing McCoy on that final play. If he hangs back, McCoy absolutely runs the clock out. The imminent Suh sack was the only reason McCoy threw the ball out of bounds when he did, saving the one second Texas needed to make it into the title game.

- The other Heisman trophy candidate who really stood out to me on Saturday was C.J. Spiller. If a Heisman candidate rushes for 230 yards and 4 touchdowns in a conference title game and no one sees it, did it actually happen? How mad is C.J. today that someone decided the schedule the ACC title game opposite the Big Twelve title game? He has a true statement game, and yet I am pretty sure no one outside the Atlanta/Clemson corridor watched more than a snap.

- I guess rather than complaining about all the deserving players that won’t win the Heisman (see: Suh, Ndamukong; Gerhart, Toby; Spiller, C.J., Ponder, Christian…ok, just testing to see if you are paying attention), we should congratulate Mark Ingram on being the first running back to win a Gino Torretta memorial ‘best player on the best team’ Heisman award this year. Groundbreaking indeed.

And only fitting that our Heisman trophy winner, much like our BCS Title game, was chosen more based on uniform than qualifications.

Achilles was an ancient Greek warrior. The son of King Peleus and the Nymph Thetis, his mother decided upon birth to make him immortal by dipping him in the River Styx. Unfortunately for him, his mother had to hold on to him and chose to grasp him by his ankles while being dipped. Thus, his ankle was sheltered from the waters of the river and remained mortal.

Naturally, in the midst of a battle during the Trojan war, an arrow struck him in his mortal ankle and he died. What is not explained by Homer in his re-telling of this story in the Illiad is how an arrow to the ankle is fatal, though obviously extremely painful (see that scene in the movie Pet Sematary and see how you react when Mr. Munster gets a scalpel to that heel from that little kid under the bed).

This ancient story has had several effects on society today. The tendon running down the back of our heel is still called the Achilles; the mere thought of the severing (or the gloriously, icky technical term ‘rupture’) of the Achilles makes grown men weak and the band Styx is now considered immortal.

One of these is not true.

It also has one other outcome, one that is a little more pertinent to our discussion today than the band that brought us Come Sail Away. A person’s or team’s weakness is often referred to as their Achilles Heel.

Watching football this weekend, I realized that all the great college and pro teams have a weakness. Whether an opponent ever exploits it or not, it is there. Keep that in mind each time they enter a battle for the rest of the season.

Let’s cover the college kids today, and return in a day or so with the pros

Florida – Even as the Gators defeat of Mississippi State this past week seemed inevitable from the opening kick-off, the fact that the worst team in the SEC (located in Starkville, the most depressing, yet accurately descriptively named college town in the country) hung with them for most of the game, demonstrated that the Gators aren’t invincible. In short, a poor offensive line has a domino-like effect on the rest of their offense. Defenses are stacking the line to shut down the inside running game that the Gators live on but unlike in previous years, they don’t have the playmakers to get open downfield. Tebow also doesn’t have the time to wait, as he is constantly scrambling and running for his life. The only offensive weapon to counteract this – the 3-step drop, rhythm passing game – seems to be as gone from Gainesville as Dan Mullen – coincidence?

Not so coincidentally this also exposed Tebow’s biggest weakness – his inability to let a play go and live to play another day. Having so much success for so long, Tebow refuses to give up on a play, scrambling from rushers, forcing passes, etc. This ends up leading to the occasional Gary Danielson pants-wetting play but it also leads to turnovers. The really great quarterbacks get rid of the ball and turn a 10 yard sack into an incompletion rather than a 100-yard interception for a touchdown.

Apparently when Tebow was dunked in the River Styx he was held by his brain.  

Alabama – Much like their SEC compatriots down in Gainesville, the Tide’s weakness rests on the offensive side. Frankly, they have an inexperienced quarterback and don’t seem to be able to pass the ball effectively. As defenses increasingly shut down Mark Ingram running the ball, the pressure comes on Greg McElroy to move the chains with his arm. With blanket coverage on He-man Julio Jones can he do that? Against a mediocre Tennessee team, he certainly didn’t. How will he do against LSU and Florida?

Sidenote: A quick tangent. When did a 40+ yard field goal become a gimme? A week after the Vikings nearly blew a game by trying to run out the clock to kick a 40-yard field goal with 2 minutes to play. This week, Tennessee gets to around the 30 yard line with over 30 seconds left and rather than taking a couple shots to shorten the field goal attempt for their shaky kicker (who already had a blocked FG and a missed 47-yarder on the day), they just stood around and let the clock run. Why? Contrast that with Clemson who was in the exact same situation 30 minutes later. The tigers kept the momentum going and got down to the 10-yard line for real gimme field goal that propelled them to OT where they beat THE U. Hey Lane Kiffin, why don’t you shut up whining to the media for a moment or two and realize your conservative, idiotic coaching was what cost your team the game.

Texas – I know Texas won convincingly this week, so I will go back to the OU game. As they are starting to find a consistent running game, the field should get opened up for Colt McCoy and his BFF Jordan Shipley to start completing more passes downfield. But, Texas has another problem – sloppiness. The Horns are plagued by turnovers and penalties. There are only so many weeks when you can overcome your own mistakes through sheer talent. UF almost lost at home to Arkansas due to turnovers – if the Horns start Plaxico-ing themselves with penalties and turnovers can they overcome them (for example) at a hostile Oklahoma State stadium?

Iowa – While I was cheering on the Hawkeyes and am thrilled that the ‘Autumn of the Shadow’ continues unabated, their performance at Michigan State certainly raised some concerns. I saw the Hawkeyes get inside the 10-yard line on 3 separate occasions. A combination of Pat Buchanan-esque play calling and poor run blocking kept them out of the end zone on 9 of 10 plays. Luckily, they were outside the 5-yard line on that final game winning drive so they were forced to think beyond the “does the back go over the left or right guard?” play-calling that plagued their other two drives earlier in the 4^th quarter.

USC – USC is the most talented team in the country. When they are playing at their best, they are pretty much unbeatable – as they have been for the last several years. Unfortunately, they just don’t play at their best all that often. They seem to believe that opponents cower at the mere sight of the little dude on their helmets, rather than snickering at jokes about Trojans. In the last two weeks, they have squandered at least a 20-point lead in the second half before barely hanging on to win against lesser teams. If Pete Carroll could get his team motivated to play an entire game every week we could be looking a team that is on a John Wooden like run of national titles. Instead every year we have the same conversation: during the season we will wonder which week the Trojans will forget to show up and get shocked by a middle of the pack Pac-10 team and then come Bowl time we will loudly proclaim the Trojans as probably the best team in the country. Much is made of Pete Carroll’s laid-back California style, but no one ever asks if it is too laid-back. A coach instilling some discipline might have actually won more than 1 national title with the talent he has on hand every year.

As for the other contenders (Boise State, TCU, Cincinnati), they all have the same fatal flaw – a disrespected and underachieving conference. I don’t care how good they may appear on the field when you are playing the equivalent of Triple-A each week (or single-A in the case of Boise State’s embarrassing schedule), you don’t get much respect from SEC-brain washed pollsters.

Is it really fair to call a schedule of cream puffs a team’s Achilles heel? I am sure Achilles himself would have preferred a slightly lesser opponent back in the day.

Typically on a fall weekend in Colorado when someone discusses the radical differences between Saturday and Sunday, the topic is the weather. However, the same could be said of the football games played this weekend. On Saturday, almost universally the top teams played poorly against average competition and barely held on for a number of un-inspired wins. On Sunday, the best teams made statements, while the pretenders showed their Achilles heel. Let’s jump right into comments and observations from each day as I am sure I will come back later this week with a special Monday Night Football discussion of tonight’s Broncos/Chargers game. Though, unlike Jon Gruden I may actually say something negative about someone.

The biggest early game of Saturday should come with an asterisk, sort of like A-Rod’s career.  Actually isn’t it interesting that now that A-Rod is off the roids (presumably) he is coming through in October? Maybe all that talk about roids shrinking someone’s balls is true.

Anyway the Texas’s win over OU should come with an asterisk for two reasons. The first is that UT played poorly and really didn’t deserve to win the game. The second is that OU still could have won even with Sam Bradford getting hurt once again early in the game. You know it is a bad game when it could be argued that the healthy winning quarterback of the game did more damage to his Heisman chances than the injured losing quarterback.

The most interesting thing to me is the impact of losing Bradford. If you had asked me before the season, which of the big three teams could best withstand the loss of their quarterback I would have said OU, with all of the talent around Bradford and the history of success with mediocre quarterbacks (insert Jason White joke here). But if you compare OU to UF last weekend in Baton Rouge the difference is stark. Where UF could use an impaired Tebow as a decoy for the entire first half and let other players carry the weight of the game, without Bradford OU looks lost. Especially with an offensive line that blocks only slightly better SPF -8 and wide receivers incapable of getting open against the UT secondary.

With UT failing to impress, Nebraska getting trounced by Texas Tech and KU losing to the embarrassment that is CU football, the real question is whether any Big 12 team deserves to get to the BCS title game? Last year, after a season in which the Big 12 was touted (at least by me) as being as strong as the SEC, their performance was exposed in the bowls. This year from top to bottom they look even more mediocre. Really at this point, can anyone definitively say that the Big 12 is better than the ACC? Virginia Tech beat Nebraska, Miami beat Oklahoma. The only difference between the two if you ask me is that the ACC is deeper and the Big Twelve has a better PR department.

Moving on to the mid-afternoon games, we had UF survive their annual ‘lose a home game to a lesser SEC team’ scare. In fact, no one should have been surprised by Saturday’s game, here is what one leading football writer said in the pre-season:

While it is true that UF’s schedule is only slightly more difficult than SMU’s, everyone should remember that UF has the bad habit of taking off one Saturday each season – unfortunately not during their bye week. The obvious candidate would be at LSU. I would point out that their slip-ups tend to occur in the Swamp but the Gators home schedule is a joke. FSU may be the only legitimate team coming into the Swamp and not even the kids who he circumcised think Tebow is going to lose his final home game to a rival. Really, the only other team coming into the Swamp that could surprise would be Arkansas but I did some research and they are still coached by Bobby Petrino.

Yes, I am once again, quoting myself. What can I say, that guy is really smart. Other than that comment about FSU being a legitimate team of course.

A sidenote before actually discussing the game. Has anyone else noticed  that no UF commercials ever mention whether the school is any good? Whether it was that ridiculous “Go Gator” commercial or the new “When did you become a gator” commercial, they never discuss anything any Gator has ever accomplished other than making the rest of the world hate them for their undeserved feeling of superiority. Unless jean shorts and mullets really do make you better than the rest of us.

In the game itself, how bad was the reffing on the 4^th quarter drive when UF scored a TD to tie it up? There were two such blatantly bad calls on Arkansas that even head Gator cheerleader Gary Danielson (the man who forced me to devise the phrase ‘unzip for easier access’ to describe his analysis of Tebow) was disgusted by it. Apparently the SEC commish is as convinced as the Pollsters that UF is the best team in the country and will do anything he can to get them to the title game.

Unfortunately for Arkansas after settling for field goals (and missed field goal attempts) after too many bad throws in the red zone, there was never a doubt who would win this game after the final missed field goal. Seriously, the Razorbacks should have just headed for the buses and beat the traffic because there was no doubt that Tebow, his girlfriend Riley Cooper (and his blatant but never called offensive pass interference game plan) and the Gators were going to score.

In the pro game on Sunday, for the most part the real contenders showed who they were. The much-hyped Saints/Giants game was over before the second commercial break. When your team relies on strong defense and a running game and neither show up, it is going to be a long day. I haven’t seen wide receivers run that wide open since the last FSU game.

Up in Foxborough, the Titans appeared to give up the moment the first snow flake hit the ground. I know they were good last year, but that team is done. Jeff Fisher is a great coach but sort of like the Broncos of last year, the organization needs a good shaking up.

Really, there were only two really good games all day – and no Jets/Buffalo fans that ugly display was not one of them.

First in Minnesota, we had the highly strategic game plan I like to call Brett Favre and the hail mary offense. Once again we will hear endlessly about Favre, without noting he basically blindly chucked a ball 40 yards downfield and his receiver made a great play to catch it.

The more interesting part was what occurred after that catch. Brad Childress ran the ball three times to burn some clock and position the team for a field goal. A good plan with 30 seconds remaining. Not so good when you are lining up for the field goal (to only take a 2 point lead no less) at the two minute warning. Sure enough, after the made field goal the Ravens marched right down the field and had their own game winning field goal attempt. Only a horribly shank on that kick will keep Childress from being ridiculed for his horrendous game strategy.

Humorously, this all demonstrated how sometimes fans are smarter than coaches or their more conservative brethren in the announcing booth. Dan Dierdorf couldn’t understand at all why the Vikings fans were booing the runs up the middle. He laughed about the runs being good strategy to burn an extra few seconds that an incomplete pass would save. True Dan. If you choose to ignore that those precious seconds left over two minutes and only gave the Vikings a lead that wouldn’t hold up to a made field goal. The fans were right, you have to keep going for a touchdown or at least a first down to burn more clock. Childress is trying to keep his job by coaching like he wears a skirt. What is your excuse Dan?

Also, did you catch Favre’s reaction after the missed Raven field goal? He had to ask Tavares Jackson whether they made it. Boy, that is leadership! A quarterback who doesn’t even care enough about whether the team wins or loses to try and watch a potential game-losing field goal.

Between, Favre’s interest in only furthering his legend and Childress’s incompetence I am very excited for the Vikings to be the high-seed who gets beaten at home by a wild-card team this year.

Our nightcap featured two under the radar one-loss teams in the Bears and Falcons. I could take this time to gloat over Jay Cutler’s second failure in a nationally televised game (6 interceptions and 2 losses on Sunday nights this year) but I will not.

Instead I will note that every Bronco fan in the country was 98% sure Cutler would throw a pick on that final drive. So, from that perspective his game ending incomplete pass into quadruple coverage actually may have been a sign of maturity. Good sign Bears fans!

In a completely unrelated note through five games, Kyle Orton has thrown one interception– a meaningless pick on a hail mary at the end of the first half against the Patriots.

Actually, a real time update on Orton’s stats. 6 weeks, 1 interception, 6 wins.  I still need a couple days to process yet another shocking Bronco win, so we will pick up here next time.