I meant to post the following yesterday but once the news about Bobby dropped, I decided to postpone for a day. So these leftovers are starting to get pretty ripe by now.

On this Tuesday I am thankful that:

 - Gary Danielson will announce only one more Tim Tebow game. If I wanted to listen to someone orgasmically moan and shout about someone’s greatness for 3 hours I would just go get a couple pornos.

- the ACC helped support my thesis that the SEC is overrated by going out and throwing up 3 stinkbombs on Saturday. FSU losing in Tebow’s final home game (rumor is that there were some other players on the field, but could not be verified) was a forgone conclusion but Clemson and Georgia Tech getting thumped the week before the ACC title game? Not exactly helping the cause guys.

- Pete Carroll and his coaching staff threw that long bomb for a TD in the last couple minutes against UCLA. After that incredible story on College Gameday Saturday morning, it was almost like Carroll was challenging everyone to debate whether he is a really good guy or an arrogant egomaniac who had to kick UCLA like a wounded dog after getting poop stuck in his face by that Stanford two-point conversion a couple weeks before.

- this week’s Civil War between Oregon and Oregon State will decide the Pac Ten’s Rose Bowl representative. Of course I am cheering for the Beavers, but even if the Ducks win it will be more fun than seeing USC yet again. Plus can you imagine the atrocity Nike will come up with for Oregon’s Rose Bowl uniform? Might want to ditch the HDTV on January 1.

- the apparent early leader to replace Charlie Weis as Notre Dame head coach would not seem to be an obvious choice for a team that struggles to win Bowl games, regardless of a nickname of Big Game Bob.

- TV has finally started to move past the reality show + hour long Cop drama formula and actually rediscovered the sitcom. Shows like Community, 30 Rock, How I Met Your Mother, Modern Family and the return of Scrubs mean there are more good comedies on network TV now than any time in the last decade.

- TV is so slow and formulaic that there are still enough awful shows on the air to give The Soup fodder each week to mock

- this is the year that the Broncos have to play the NFC East – a conference clearly on the downward slide to mediocrity (see: NFC West) but thanks to east coast bias and long held assumptions is still held in high regard by the football experts.

- football scouts still become so enamored by physique and measurables that they ignore performance on the field in college – letting the Broncos steal players like Elvis Dumervil and Wesley Woodyard who are two of the biggest reasons not named Brian Dawkins for the Broncos defensive resurgence this year.

- Citizen has not stopped running those commercials that say ‘Unstoppable…Eli Manning is…’ because there should be a segment on PTI where Wilbon and Kornheiser see who can come up with more ways of humorously finishing that sentence given the obvious fact that poor Eli is imminently stoppable.

- Vince Young has resurrected his career. I never liked him in college (damn Longhorns), but you can’t deny his athletic gifts. It is nice to see him get it together mentally and finally show the promise that made him a top-five draft pick.

- Matt Leinart must have consoled himself for another last second loss to Vince Young, by scouring the bars of Phoenix for local community college co-eds to accompany him to his hot tub

- Jeff Fisher took six weeks to put Young in the starting lineup, ensuring that the Titans wouldn’t make the playoffs. I think I speak for every AFC fan that the Titans are not a team I would want to see in the playoffs.

- Brett Favre is surrounded by the best collection of talent of his entire career. This lets us enjoy repeated effusive praise of Favre when his job description should best be described as “just get the ball to the playmakers and not the other team”.

- Troy Aikman made one of the most logical arguments I have ever heard yesterday. Pointing out Favre has averaged 17 interceptions per year in his entire career Aikman argued his current year stat of 3 interceptions is actually a cause of concern. Most analysts see his limited interceptions as a great thing. Aikman is smart enough to realize that the multi-interception game (or as I call it – “the Cutler”) is coming at some point. Better for the Vikings if this occurs soon rather than in the playoffs.   

- the NFL Network created the NFL Red zone channel. Getting passed to any game where a team has an opportunity to score is the greatest fantasy invention since point-per-reception scoring.

- the completion of Thanksgiving weekend means that we are that much closer to Christmas and the college bowl season. That is my holiday. And, yes if Bobby really does get to have his final game at a bowl in Florida, you are damn right I am flying across the country to say thanks to him properly.

Despite the optimism that always accompanies the beginning of a new NFL season, when I look at all of the news coming out of the league I am left a little down. It seems like that until the real season starts, the overriding stories in the NFL are about greed and ego run amok. Look at the big stories in the NFL today:

Brett Favre’s ‘me-first, I am more important than the rest of my team’ approach to playing seems to have already alienated some of his Viking teammates. In record time for him – at least he is getting better at one aspect of his game with age.

Brandon Marshall was suspended by the Broncos due to having the maturity and intelligence of a 12-year old. If there is one way to increase your value and get a team to meet your salary demands it is to quit on your team and be disruptive. Especially coming off yet another legal problem and hip surgery. Employers love that.

Among the rookies, we still have two holdouts. Michael Crabtree is depriving us of probably the most exciting rookie in the league in some mis-guided attempt to squeeze an extra couple million out of his contract. I love the threat of sitting out a season. Brilliant logic. So he does sit out a season, losing an entire year’s salary and re-enters the draft next year – then what? He has already shown he is difficult to work with, so he gets drafted even lower than tenth and is offered an even lower contract. The offers keep getting lower and he keeps missing prime years of his career. That is a great career move. He must have the same business advisor as Brandon Marshall. Crabtree should ask Aaron Crow how this strategy has worked for him.

The other hold out is Andre Smith who is not nearly as interesting but his impact could be more far-reaching. There are no winners from him holding out the finest man-breasts this side of Phil Mickelson from Hard Knocks.

With all of this negativity (who would have thought Michael Vick would be the lone feel good story so far this season), I woke up a little down this morning.

But then the clouds parted and a beam of light shown upon my TV. While I waited for the epic Arsenal – Manchester United match-up (yes, I am a Gunner fan, deal with it). I watched ESPN’s College GameDay preview special. The combination of an important (if early) soccer game and the realization we sit 5 days from college football, helped to brighten my mood.

So, with the predictions of Kirk, Lou and Robert Smith fresh in my mind, I present my annual college football predictions:

-  The thing that makes me most excited about the season? It is the consensus of all the experts picking a Texas/Florida national title game. You would probably assume that the prospect of two of my least favorite teams playing for the title, would send me spiraling into a Leaving Las Vegas-level funk but it is actually the opposite. You see, every season proves the experts have no idea what they are talking about in the preseason. So, the more convinced they are that something will occur, the more likely it will not. Their picking a UF/UT BCS title game makes it all but certain it won’t happen.

-  So, what will keep the two teams from making it? Well, on the UT side, it could be argued they will lose to Oklahoma. Not so fast. They have a better defense and a better offensive line. If OU didn’t win last year they won’t this year (sorry, Turner). However, what seems to get lost is that UT barely beat Oklahoma State last year – in Austin. OSU is going to be very good and they are going to be gunning for UT when the Horns come to Stillwater. I can see the Big Twelve south having the same Ro-sham-bo problem they did a year ago, with 3 teams with a single loss. Unfortunately after a less-than-impressive bowl season, they won’t get the benefit of the doubt like they did a year ago.

-  As for UF, everyone is sure they will breeze through their schedule on the way to the BCS title game. While it is true that UF’s schedule is only slightly more difficult than SMU’s, everyone should remember that UF has the bad habit of taking off one Saturday each season – unfortunately not during their bye week. The obvious candidate would be at LSU. I would point out that their slip-ups tend to occur in the Swamp but the Gators home schedule is a joke. FSU may be the only legitimate team coming into the Swamp and not even the kids who he circumcised think Tebow is going to lose his final home game to a rival. Really, the only other team coming into the Swamp that could surprise would be Arkansas but I did some research and they are still coached by Bobby Petrino. At least right now, he might have jumped ship by the time you read this.

-  One thing I will guarantee about UF is that Gary Danielson will spend 3 quarters of every UF game he announces trying to make the argument why Tebow will succeed in the NFL. At least it will be a new twist on Danielson’s traditional attempt to make every game a nearly unwatchable 3-hour commercial for Tebow for Heisman.  

-  As would be expected by a guy with the objectivity of Sean Hannity, Lou Holtz believes Notre Dame will play in the National title game. This year. Should I give you a minute to stop laughing before continuing? Yes, Lou’s blind love of all things Irish, is pretty humorous, given that Notre Dame hasn’t been relevant to the national title conversation for over 15 years but I actually agree with him to a point.

-  It’s not that I believe Notre Dame is one of the 2 or 3 best teams in the country but they have a ridiculously easy schedule and as we all know with blind partisans like Lou and Beano Cook still helping to drive the college football conversation they will be greatly overrated. They could be 5-0 taking on USC in October. They could go into November at 7-1. If you don’t think a 7-1 Notre Dame is in the top ten, then you think way too highly of the college football writers and coaches. The Irish won’t play for the National title but I think we can all look forward to them getting absolutely annihilated by a superior team in a BCS bowl this season. Now that is a holiday tradition I missed the last couple years.

-  Speaking of USC, I think they fall short of the title game as well. Losing both coordinators, starting a true freshman at quarterback and losing most of their defense may be too much to overcome. Factor in their inevitable Pac-Ten loss to a lesser team as well as going into Columbus the second week of the season and I don’t see a 2-loss USC team making the BCS title game.

-  Yes, I know I always assume Big Ten loses to more athletic teams but I put an asterisk next to this one. A true freshman QB going into the Horseshoe? Yeah, good luck with that. For the first time in memory, I like the Big Ten quarterback more than the competition.

-  So, if OSU can get by USC, is there any team that can beat them? They have to go to Penn State, but the Lions lost much of their already anemic offense. Can they find enough points to beat a more mature Terrell Pryor? Probably not.

-  Yep, I am picking yet another OSU appearance in a national title game. But at least you have a few months to prepare yourself…you know, to make other plans for the night of the BCS title game.

-  So then who do they play? Well, there are two things you can bank on in any college season. First, Notre Dame be vastly overrated should they show just a little life and Second, when a team is widely believed to be the best team in the country, voters will find a way to get them into the national title game despite all evidence to the contrary.

-  At this point, I would guess much like last year, we will end up with a log-jam of one-loss teams behind an undefeated OSU team. If that is the case, is there any chance the voters keep UF out? They could lose 43-3 to Florida International while OU loses only one game to Texas 43-41 on a hail mary and UF will play in the national title game.

-  Voters want to prove their own intelligence. If they vote someone pre-season number one, they are going to do anything they can to prove themselves right at the end of the season, just so they can point to their own brilliance later (I told you UF was the best team and now they are in the title game), ignoring that they are the reason they are in the title game.

-  So, we face the prospect of a UF/OSU title game. We have seen this before and it wasn’t pretty. Any reason to believe this would be different? No. UF wins another title and unfortunately things turn dark when Gary Danielson, distraught over no longer announcing Tebow games actually kidnaps him and keeps him chained up in his basement until the SWAT team stages an epic assault operation to free him.

Now that I see it on paper, the whole college football season doesn’t make me feel any more optimistic than I did coming in.

Oh, and my boys from Arsenal lost 2-1 on an own-goal.

Dark days indeed.