Over the past decade, no hobby has grown as quickly as fantasy football. What was once a geeky hobby of a few dorky sports fans who couldn’t actually compete in sports due to an over reliance on asthma inhalers, has become big business and as wide spread as herpes on the set of The Hills. Nothing this side of fetish porn has benefited from the internet as much as fantasy football. Ironically, another hobby that used to be mainly enjoyed by sickly guys in dark rooms.

Today, it could be argued that fantasy football is nearly as big as the NFL itself, as it continues to attract players that previously didn’t closely follow the NFL. Suddenly young and old, male and female are deeply invested in who scores a touchdown in the second half of a Lions/ Rams game. An event that before fantasy not even Lions and Rams fans cared much about. Heck, I don’t think Lions and Rams players even cared that much. 

As fantasy football continues to grow, the hard cores are looking for new ways to enjoy the game and challenge themselves. If any soccer mom knows to draft Chris Johnson first overall, then someone that has been playing for decades is going to look for ways to prove their superior knowledge. Auction drafts, salary caps, keeper leagues. All were born from an attempt to separate the true believers from the Johnny-Come-Latelys that believe spending all of their draft picks on kickers is a legitimate strategy.

NOTE: That last comment sounds like a joke, but it was actually told to me as a strategy used by a guy in a league. His theory was that every other player would be desperate for kickers and willingly trade him real players later to access his cache of kicking talent. Seriously. Alas, he isn’t in my league.

Of all the different strategies for identifying real fantasy players, there is one that hasn’t gotten much traction but seems to me to be the most obvious next frontier in fantasy football.

College fantasy.

This past weekend was my second college fantasy draft. And it drove home how different college fantasy is from the pros. Just a few of the differences that make the college game that much more challenging:

 - An ever-changing cast – The top 3 draft picks in some order in fantasy last year: Tebow, McCoy, Bradford. Not a single one is back this year. Basically the entire draft starts over from scratch every couple of years. Where NFL drafts have default picks for years at a time (how many years was LaDanian a top-3 pick? How many more years will Adrian Peterson be?), in college the top players can turn over nearly every year. A lot more studying and knowledge is required to build a competitive team. Which at least partially explains my 2 wins last season. As does the name of my first round draft pick: LeGarrett Blount, he of the near riot in Idaho/9 game suspension on opening night.

 - So many more teams – You think tracking how the Rams / Lions game is going takes effort? Wait until you are tracking a Vanderbilt v. South Florida game online. Our league is limited to only BCS conferences, Mountain West and Notre Dame yet a fantasy team’s performance is often wholly dependent on random games that no one cares about, unless they are alum. One of my quarterbacks last year was Russell Wilson of NC State. Did you watch any NC State games last year? Can you even tell me what happened in any NC State games last year? Put your hand down Mrs. O’Brien I wasn’t talking to you.

 - The draft is only the beginning – In NFL fantasy, the draft can make or break a team. Get a deep team with a couple break-out stars and a group of consistent performers and you are set. Sure, you can suffer an injury, luck into a player via the waiver wire or trade on occasion but for the most part 80% of your team is set on draft day. College is different. The rise of unknown freshmen, surprise teams or injuries to a starter can all thrust complete nobodies into the spotlight. Last year, Dion Lewis came to the Pitt campus just another undersized freshman running back. He ended the season as one of the top five fantasy scorers in the country.

- Complete Changes in Teams – In the NFL, you pretty much know what you get. The Chargers are going to be the Chargers whether Marty Schottenheimer or Norv Turner is leading them to perennial pre-mature playoff exits. Not so, in college. The last few years, Texas Tech was the darling of college fantasy. I think last year the quarterback, at least 2 running backs and probably 4-5 wide receivers were all drafted in my league. This year, after Mike ‘Black Beard’ Leach locked the wrong TV personality’s son in a closet and was fired, Tommy Tuberville has arrived on campus and changed the offense from Leach’s wide-open passing attack to a conservative run-first offense. Gone is TTU’s VIP status in fantasy. Now they are just a mediocre team with a dull offense playing in the middle of nowhere. Making them indistinguishable from most of the rest the Big Ten and Big Twelve.

- Additional Factors – So you know the coaches, you have scouted the players. You are all set right? Wrong. Unlike the pros one of the single biggest factors to consider in your team is their schedule. No one has ever said ‘I can’t take Chris Johnson because the AFC South is playing the NFC East this season’. Yet, no matter how great your players are in college, the schedule can completely change their value. Would you rather have Heisman trophy winner Mark Ingram versus the LSU defense or Roy Helu of Nebraska against Eastern Washington? Exactly. This season, my first week opponent’s players have games against the following teams: Fresno State, South Carolina State, UC-Davis, Miami of Ohio and New Mexico. Assuming his players don’t get benched or punch a guy in the face, he is going to score a lot of points. I could have the greatest college team ever assembled but if they are playing decent opposition I am screwed.

There are many other reasons to love college fantasy but probably the biggest is this: It essentially doubles your fantasy quotient per weekend.

People are excited about the NFL expanding to 18 games so they can get 2 extra fantasy weeks per year. I already play at least 20 games each season before the playoffs even start.

For those of you out there pining to prove your fantasy genius, there really is only one answer.

Go back to college.

In each of the last two years, just as the heat of summer starts to get to me and I wonder if football season will ever arrive, Fox College Sports Atlantic has given me a glimmer of hope by re-showing classic Seminole games that were important to the school and important to me.

First came a replay of the 1993 FSU/UF game, a pivotal win during my freshman year on the way to FSU’s first national title that was also Warrick Dunn’s coming out party.

Next came the 2003 domination of Notre Dame in South Bend, the worst shut out loss for the Irish in decades and the second greatest game of Chris Rix’s life. I attended in the midst of a move from D.C. to Denver.

However, after these mid-summer highlights the following Seminole seasons were…ummmm…let’s just say ‘not-quite-up-to-expectations’.

So this year I am mixing it up. Today, I am watching the 2000 Florida State/Miami game. One of the 5 most painful losses of my Seminole-cheering life.

I am willing to sacrifice here in July so that the fall will be full of joy for all of Seminole nation.

You might think I am insane for choosing to watch a ten year old college football game on a summer Saturday afternoon but do you know what ESPN is showing today? The Harlem Globetrotters. Now who’s pathetic?

On to the show.

- After the last couple years of having Seminole greats be our hosts, this year it is all Canes, Ken Dorsey, former offensive lineman Joaquin Gonzalez and our host Steve Walsh. I am surprised Dorsey and Walsh were available.

 - They start talking about how great FSU is, which sounds very generous, until you remember they win and therefore are basically bragging that they are even greater.

- For the record I watched this game live with the DC Seminole club at a suburban Virginia sports bar. The Mrs. and I shared a table with another couple we hadn’t met before. After three hours of watching in horror as the Mrs. and I screamed and yelled at the television, we would never see them again. Oh well, their loss.

- Hard to believe now that FSU came into this game without a regular season loss in over two years – 26 straight regular season wins as well as a 17 game winning streak in all games. Going into 2010, in the last 25 regular season games the Seminoles have ten losses.  Let’s not talk about this further, ok?

- And we have kick-off. Fumble by the Canes on the opening kick-off and the Noles recover on the Canes 25-yard line. I have a good feeling about this game.

- At quarterback, 28-year old Chris Wienke. He played baseball for several years before coming to FSU which explains his age. But seeing his receding hair line, it makes you wonder if maybe he also learned from the latino baseball players to shave a few years off his real age for the media guide.

- Three straight runs leaves FSU with a short 4^th down. The Rooster, Marcus Outzen comes in for a quarterback sneak. As with most things involving Outzen on the football field (see: 1998 National Championship game), nothing good comes from it for the Noles. Turnover.

- Starting for the Canes, Ken Dorsey – a young sophomore. I think he might have a bright future in Coral Gables.

- It is strange to see Chris Weinke against Ken Dorsey in an important game. This time of year you would expect to see them only in the 3^rd quarter of a pre-season NFL game.

- Canes offense includes Najeh Davenport, Bryant McKinney, Reggie Wayne and Santana Moss. With a decade of NFL experience since this game, the loss seems a little more understandable. It is also allows me to make poop jokes about Davenport.

- Seminole defense holds the Canes to a punt. This time the Noles fumble it on the punt return and the Canes recover around mid-field.

- The Canes are driving with running back James Jackson. Of all the players from Miami, how is some dude I don’t even remember the one that is dominating FSU? I hate the Canes.

- Davenport breaks right up the middle on a little pop pass and Dorsey finds him as he leaves skid marks on the way to an easy touchdown. Davenport lobbies for the Canes to go for 2 but the Canes kick the extra point.

- To add at least a little joy to this painful experience, let’s see if I can make a poop related joke every time I mention Najeh. So far so good.

- We come back to a conversation with Walsh and Dorsey. Apparently play-action passes were the Canes key innovation for this game by offensive coordinator Larry Coker. Gee, way to get creative Larry, no wonder your coaching career was so great after Butch Davis’s recruits graduated. I mean left school. God knows about 4% of Cane players can even spell graduation.

- Junior Robert Morgan drops a deep pass on FSU’s next possession, though we are reminded that he has great hands. Despite all evidence to the contrary apparently.

- Weinke scrambles a little and completes a pass down the sideline to Snoop Minnis. Also known as Marvin. Also known as the best receiver on FSU in 2000. Also known as the guy who is too dumb to stay academically eligible for the national title game later against Oklahoma. But I’m not bitter.

- I had forgotten that Weinke had a sore foot this game. This retro-actively becomes my excuse for the Noles losing this game. Gutty to play it so close against Miami with an injured quarterback.

- FSU doesn’t pick up a long third down but instead of sending in freshman Matt Munyon to kick a short field goal, Ed Reed knocks away a Weinke pass in the end zone on 4th. This fear of the kicker (two red zone trips, no points) for the Noles – I am sure will have no impact later in the game.

- Dorsey immediately responds with a deep pass to Santana Moss to flip the field. Watching this game was the worst idea I have ever had not involving the word ‘tequila’ and ‘chubby chasing’.

- Some random senior tight end named Ivan Mercer catches a pass to put the ball inside the ten at the end of the first quarter. Insert your own Rocky 4 joke here. I am sure he was wide open because he was a nobody. If he was a bigger name like Jeremy Shockey or Kellen Winslow, Jr. I bet FSU would have blanket coverage on him.

- Pass Interference called on Tay Cody on a pass to Reggie Wayne. Automatic first down for the Canes on the 7 yard line.

- Bronco linebacker D.J. Williams gets the hand-off to power in a touchdown run from the fullback position. 14-0 Miami. If I had remembered this when he got to Denver, I would have been much less forgiving of his mediocre Bronco career.

- We have skipped the next FSU series and Dorsey and the Cane offense has the ball on the FSU 31-yard line. Having watched the Nole versions of these telecasts before, I know that this can’t be good.

- Wow. Miami stuffed and misses the field goal wide right. I am sure that means all of the bad kicking karma has transferred from FSU to Miami.

- Weinke hits Anquan Boldin who scrambles up the sideline for a nice gain. As great an offense as FSU had, it should be noted Anquan is the only player to go on to a significant NFL career. That is what I love about FSU, the team is made up of overmatched, underdog, feel-good stories.

- A nice gain is followed by a Weinke interception by Ed Reed at the goal line. How did this game come down to the final play?

- We have fast forwarded again to late in the 2^nd quarter. Miami ball around their 20.

- The Canes are marching down with long passes to Santana Moss and punishing runs up the middle. I don’t like where this is going.

- FSU defense holds again around the fifteen. But the Canes convert the field goal and lead 17-0. This is looking like the FSU we have seen every year since 2000, I had forgotten that they looked like this in 2000 as well.

- On the ensuing drive, Weinke somehow avoids the rush hopping on one leg and flicks the ball down the field to Snoop who gets across the 50 yard line.

- It is also reported that Minnis has got bitches in the living room gettin’ it on but that is unconfirmed. Seminoles finally showing a little life just before halftime.

- Finally a successful Seminole running play. The dirty secret of FSU’s success in the 90’s: outside of the Warrick Dunn years, the Noles could never run the ball consistently but their passing game was so good it made up for it. Travis Minor came in with a high school reputation of ‘better than Warrick Dunn’. Oh, you don’t remember any big plays by him in a Seminole uniform? Exactly.

- In this game, Minor has been replaced by Jeff Chaney, who sadly has not yet shot any Canes in the face with a shotgun.

- On third and goal from the two yard line, Dan Morgan steps in for an interception to clinch a 17-0 Cane lead at halftime. Amazing, he held on to the ball. With the amount of grease in his hair some of it must have gotten on his hands.

- FSU opens up the second half with a couple strong runs and a long pass to Atrews Bell who gets the ball inside the 10 yard line of Miami.

- Swing pass to Minor, a Minor run up the middle and a Minor off-tackle run are stuffed on 1^st, 2^nd and 3^rd and goal. See, told you so about Minor. And I really did write that comment above before this happened.

- Bowden finally sends in his kicker for a chip shot from the 3 yard line. 17-3.

- Ooh, FSU has the ball back, so we have skipped a Cane offensive series. I love it when that happens.

- Weinke zips a pass down the sideline to Anquan Boldin who sidesteps a Cane corner and glides into the end zone untouched for a 48-yard touchdown. Say what you will about Weinke’s pro career and hair line, the dude could sling the ball. And I think the doctors wanted to amputate his leg before the game but he refused. 17-10 Miami

- – Weinke looks so dominating this quarter it is almost unfair. Sort of like the time I saw him pick a fight at Ken’s Bar in Tallahassee with a guy that might have been 5’6”.

- We take a break from the game to hear about the pro careers of Steve, Ken and Joaquin. Let me summarize much quicker than they did. They have accomplished about as much in the pros as I have.

- Skipping over two drives, the Canes have the ball and begin driving with completions to Wayne and Williams. It is jarring to see the difference in the number of future pros between the two offenses. Ok, forget the ‘future’ part; I am sure most of the Canes are already getting paid at the time of this game.

- Najeh Davenport drops a load on the FSU linebacking corps with a run up the middle

- There is a Seminole corner named Cookie Thomas. I wish he played for the Canes, so I could make a joke or two about his crumbling in the heat.  

- Miami kicks a field goal to take a 20-10 lead after Cookie jars up a fade pattern to Wayne.

- We have skipped a couple more drives and the Noles have the ball early in the 4^th quarter.

- Ooh, before they were stars! Greg Schiano coaching the Cane defense, now head coach at Rutgers. So we might be watching the last time he beats a top five team. And no, I don’t count 2007 when Louisville and West Virginia were briefly in the top five along with about 23 other teams. That year should get an asterisk like Roger Maris’ home run record.

- As far as the Noles have fallen since this game, it is comforting to see some things haven’t changed: an over reliance on the swing pass and no inside running game.

- Wait, that isn’t comforting at all. That is completely depressing.

- Matt Munyon misses a 23-yard field goal after a total jinx by the announcers when they discussed all the misses by him in pre-game warm-ups. Thanks guys. I am going to say that given the Noles’ history they didn’t need the extra jinx.

- Skipping a couple more series, Weinke and the Noles have the ball back still trailing by ten. Weinke leans on a walker with tennis balls on the ends to get to the huddle. Gritty performance.

- Weinke misses an open Boldin across the middle on third down forcing a punt. Weinke hobbles off after the play and appears to replace his own Achilles heel on the sideline by taking a ligament from a freshman walk-on wide receiver. Unfortunately he chose kicker Matt Munyon. The rest of this game is making more sense now.  

- Announcers just compared Dorsey to Bernie Kosar. Unclear whether that is a compliment or insult. If Bernie were here, he would be happy to tell you all about his fantastic career while sounding like he had a fifth of Jim Beam. Or he fought Mike Tyson. Or both.

- I obviously know how this game ends, but I don’t remember the final score, so I find myself surprisingly unsure as to what happens the rest of the way. While in the back of my mind knowing that ultimately there is one guaranteed result: pain.

- Canes forced to punt and the Noles get the ball on the ten with a little over five minutes to play.

- First play and Weinke finds Snoop for a 40 plus yard gain across the fifty. Snoop is good for catching those long passes but that doesn’t change the face that he doesn’t love them hos.

- A few plays later Weinke finds Boldin on the sideline inside the 5-yard line. Might be the worst thing to happen for the Noles as they will feel the need to run up the middle for no gain.

- Canes PA just played ‘Who Let the Dogs Out’. Is that song the Ice, Ice Baby of 2000? Close call as to what song from this time had a shorter shelf life: Who Let the Dogs Out or Mambo #5.

- Weinke pass to Boldin over the middle. Touchdown. 20-17 with 3:15 to play.

- Miami seems to be intent on giving the Noles every chance to win this game. I have never seen a team with a strong running game pass the ball more often late in the 4^th milking a lead. Shocking that Butch Davis wasn’t more successful in the pros.

 - Pass to Davenport over the middle but he dumps the ball and the Noles recover around midfield. I think the Noles can win this thing!

- Pass over the middle and Atrews Bell catches the touchdown pass!! 24-20 Noles with a 1:37 to play. The comeback is complete!

- Canes get the ball and start dinking and dunking their way down the field. First catch of the day by some sophomore named Jeremy Shockey. He looks like a nice, clean-cut kid.

- Canes move to a first and goal with 50 seconds left.

- Oops. Joaquin, one of our hosts, just false-started. Let’s hope Walsh asks him about that play and Joaquin retorts by asking Walsh about that two-point conversion at Notre Dame in 1988.

- Shockey with a touchdown over the middle. First of his career. I wonder if he went out and got his first tattoo after this game? 27-24 Miami.

- They just showed Michael Irvin on the Cane sideline congratulating Shockey. I wonder if he offered the kid strippers or blow as a reward for the touchdown?

- Two short passes and the Noles get past the thirty. Another swing pass to Minor and the ball moves to the 45-yard line.

- Boldin separated from the ball around the Cane 30 by the only corner that doesn’t go on to a pro career – Leonard Myers. Though I think he might have gone on to a recurring role on Curb Your Enthusiasm

- Snoop catches a pass at 31-yard line (he ain’t leavin ‘til six in the morning) and the clock runs down inside ten seconds so the Noles call timeout and bring in the field goal unit.

- I don’t want to watch this.

 - Last time I saw this play, I ended up in a heap on the floor, if that gives you some idea what happens on this kick.

- Naturally, the kick is pushed wide right. A decade later and it still hurts. 

- Yadda, yadda, yadda a bunch of meaningless babbling by our hosts to end the show. Again, not bitter.

- As they note, the Noles got the last laugh on the Canes when they ended up in the Orange Bowl playing for the National title against some crappy team from the tornado belt.

Ironically, we are in the same boat this year. A couple months after this painful loss, the Noles will again play the Oklahoma Sooners.

Let’s just hope my little act of penance today is enough to change the result of the OU game this time.

There is very little good that comes out of being forced to sit through bad romantic comedies by your significant other. Usually, the only good thing that could come out of it would be earning the brownie-points to re-enact the climactic love scene later that night.

However, occasionally, there can be other benefits. For example, falling in love with the heroine of the story.

Such was the case, several years ago when the Mrs. forced me to sit through Serendipity. An OK film, I guess, but it was never going to win any Oscars. The one thing it did have going for it was Ms. Kate Beckinsale in the lead role. Whether the Brit is anything like her cute, quirky character in the movie or not, I didn’t really care, I was in love.

So, it was with great regret that I watched Kate go on to star in both wretched fantasy movies directed by her husband and big time films with big-time directors and stars. Suddenly ‘my girl’ was everyone’s girl. Though thankfully not in a The Bachelorette kind of way.

Anyway, Kate’s ascendance was complete last year when Esquire named her the Sexiest Woman Alive over #1 seeds and presumptive favorites like Megan Fox and Jessica Biel.

Looking back at the day that issue arrived in my mailbox a few months removed, I have started to see that day as the initial sign that things as we know it were beginning to change.  

2009 was the year of the favorite. In fact, a year ago I wrote a post called Cinderella Can Suck It, in which I whined (shocking I know) about the lack of cinderellas and upsets not just in March Madness but in the sports world as a whole.

The calendar year 2009 saw the Steelers win another Super Bowl, the UNC Tar Heels win the college basketball title, the Lakers win the NBA title, the Yankees win the World Series and the Mandalay Bay casino take my money at the blackjack table. Not a favorite or upset in the bunch.

However as overdog heavy as 2009 was, 2010 has seen the rise of the underdogs.

The first major champion of 2010 was Alabama. Not a true upset in the national championship game, I recognize, but maybe their shocking defeat of his holiness Tim and the Gators back in November was the true tipping point.

I mean, if a team can defeat God’s Youngest Son then what excuse does any other underdog have to not play with the big boys?

With inspiration from well-paid Nick Saban and his well-paid Crimson Tide players, it has been all upsets since.

First, the Saints won a Super Bowl for the ultimate underdog city that has been conspired against by mother nature, Dubya and Roger Goodell.

Then curling became the most fascinating thing to watch at the Olympics that no one could understand (barely edging out trying to figure out how Steve Holcomb got into his bobsled suit)

Then Jamie Jungers won the Tiger Woods Mistress Pageant. (I had $20 on Jaimee Grubs)

And now we are being inundated on a daily basis by upsets in March Madness:

- The number one overall seed is gone

- Half of the top 16 seeded teams have lost

- Arguably, the most dominant team of the tournament so far has been Cornell.

- Kansas State is the only team from Kansas still playing in the tourney (and with the NCAA investigation into their recruiting practices and subsequent expunging of this year’s wins still years away, the Wildcats are finally able to laugh at their nemeses from Lawrence).

So what does the rest of the year hold in store for us?

Let me gaze into Kate’s big brown eyes and take a guess.

…

…

Oh, sorry I got distracted thinking of other things. Back to my predictions for the year.

- Men’s college basketball: Just imagine the coming Northern Iowa vs. Cornell championship game. It would be like watching that quarterfinal game from Hoosiers all over again. Let’s just hope Kurt Warner doesn’t come stumbling on to the court, mid-game.  

- Women’s college basketball: UConn wins the title again. Not an upset you say? Did I mention that they only win by 7?

- The Masters: Phil Mickelson wins the green jacket and files a sexual harassment lawsuit against Tiger who once again apologizes by saying he regrets his actions but has been going through withdrawals and upon seeing Phil’s chest jiggling up the fairway just couldn’t control himself any longer.

- NBA Finals: Sorry Lakers and Celtics fans, it just isn’t your year. How could you be expected to compete with a team that has both a player from Australia (like St. Mary’s) and a kid who didn’t want to go to college and instead went to play on a professional team not in the NBA (like Kentucky). Your 2010 NBA champion Milwaukee Bucks.

- Major League Baseball: In 2010, the Yankees won’t buy another World Series. Because the Mariners beat them to it.

- College Football: No Tim Tebow. No Colt McCoy. No Pete Carroll. Other than the semi-pro team in Tuscaloosa, college football is wide open this season. This is the chance for a team to step up and shock. Iowa Hawkeyes, now is the time to take the mantle from Ohio State and use the overrated Big Ten as a spring board to the National title game. Before planning for your BCS title game appearance though can one of you pick up the Shadow off the floor?

- NFL: There are two types of upsets. Those by teams that have always stunk and come out of nowhere to win and those by teams that have been consistently successful but always fall short in the big spot (think Chargers and Eagles). It seems way too impossible to say ‘Detroit Lions, Super Bowl champions’. But marginally less improbable to say ‘Minnesota Vikings, Super Bowl champions’.

Unfortunately, Vikings fans, the Super Bowl doesn’t happen until 2011.

Who knows how the fates will feel about Brett Favre by then.

I have been one of the most vocal opponents of teams beginning their season with a creampuff Division 1-AA team or ACC team. I have always felt it was a cheap and easy way for teams to pad their schedules with minimal effort (I am looking at you SEC).

However after this past weekend of football, I am changing my tune.

The way that the college football landscape is constructed today, a team should absolutely start their season with an easy win.

While most TV talking heads lament all of these creampuffs and their impact on compelling match-ups early in the season what they really are lamenting are compelling games to drive high TV ratings. While I agree, in theory, that watching cross-sectional match-ups is much more compelling than every game being a 69-3 blowout, in reality, it really isn’t.

Think back to all of the games this past weekend that matched-up ranked teams. Were any of them actually enjoyable to watch? I watched just about every highly touted early season game and pretty much universally they all stunk.

They weren’t all as bad as that Boise State/Oregon stinkbomb Thursday (pre-punch of course), but they weren’t good. More importantly, they weren’t as good as they would have been if played in 2-3 weeks. How much better would the BYU/OU game have been in a couple weeks when the OU offensive line had learned how to not flinch early? How about the Okie State / UGA game with a couple weeks of experience for the UGA quarterback?

On the other hand. VT/Alabama would have been an absolute blow-out had Alabama had a couple weeks to get its mistakes out of its system.

These were the marquee match-ups of the week and they were miserable. The two most entertaining games I saw on Saturday were games that weren’t supposed to be close – OSU/Navy and LSU/Washington. Isn’t it more entertaining to see an underdog surprise a favorite who isn’t fully ready for the season than see two supposed heavyweights stumble and bumble through an ugly game?

Even if they are blow-outs, I would almost rather watch a team get its feet under it against lesser competition for a week, so that when we get these interesting match-ups these teams are playing at their best.

More important than the effect on fans though is the effect on the integrity of the season.

 In the NFL, where a team can lose up to 8 games and still make the championship game, teams are allowed to play 4 pre-season games to get their players playing well together before it really matters.

So what sense does it make for teams (comprised of younger players) that can be eliminated from championship contention with a single loss (hello Sooners!) playing no practice games and instead jumping right into important games against equal competition?

How much would NFL teams howl if they were eliminated from Super Bowl contention by losing their first pre-season game?

Until college football allows for teams to play a pre-season game then I think they should schedule their own pre-season game.

If schools are clear about their intentions to their fans, would any fan complain? Imagine an AD coming out and saying: “Look, we recognize this may not be the most entertaining match-up for you as fans, but we believe that we will be a better team this season by having one game that allows the team to gel. Support us in this one game, and we will make the rest of the season more entertaining for you.” You don’t think any fan-base would be willing to sacrifice one game for a better season?

If everyone recognizes that the first week is sort of a pre-season, would anyone complain? Doesn’t it feel like a freebie week anyway, since there is no NFL?

This isn’t to excuse the pathetic non-conference schedules of some teams (for example starting the season with Charleston Southern and then Troy), but couldn’t we all agree that having a one-week warm-up would be a good thing?

And, no this isn’t solely a Favre-ian attempt to preemptively excuse a boring, ugly (and potentially disastrous) FSU/Miami game tonight.

That is just an added bonus.

Well, we are most of the way through the first weekend of college football, so obviously it is time to reach inarguable conclusions and make broad pronouncements about what will occur throughout the rest of the season.

If you can’t definitively figure out the entire season based on one (most likely uncompetitive) game than you clearly aren’t an expert, which is why I am here for you.

NOTE: I am purposefully writing this prior to the FSU/Miami game tomorrow night. That game could (and probably will) lead to another full post, so I wanted to give the rest of the country at least a little attention. Sure, the rest of the country isn’t as important as that single game, but some people seem to care about all of those other teams, and I am nothing if not about customer service around here.

So, what did we learn from the first week? I’m glad you asked. As I always do, on the first really good Saturday of the season I sacrificed my day (and my health – I definitely was not eating salad yesterday), to watch at least 14 hours of football for you.

The day began as it always does with dull and boring Big Ten games, brought you by the Department of Redundancy Department. Next week will be the real test (OSU/USC) in proving whether the Big Ten is actually competitive or just the MAC with larger student populations but if this week was an initial pop quiz, than the Big Ten failed miserably. OSU got taken to the final minutes by Navy, Iowa had to block 2 field goals in the final 7 seconds to beat the Fighting Kurt Warners of Northen Iowa and Illinois led by 3-year starter Juice Williams and super-speedy Aurelius Benn got trounced by a Missouri team with a first year QB that also lost their top two receivers. Not exactly a stellar season opening for the Big Ten. Michigan really needs to practice extra, illegal hours to compete with these teams? Yikes.

By mid-afternoon, we had moved to Stillwater, Oklahoma for the big Oklahoma State/UGA game.

Before diving into the actual game, let me first congratulate Mark Richt on playing a real out-of-conference schedule. It is nice to see Bobby Bowden’s influence still out-weighing the influence of his SEC compatriots who believe you should never schedule an out-of-conference game with a team without a compass direction in its title. Urban, I am looking at you.

Actually, I take that back. An actual directional state school would be a step-up for UF. Charleston Southern doesn’t even have a state or cardinal direction in its name – just a city and a vague directional descriptor. The University of Florida – finding new and innovative ways to pad their schedule and the stats of THE GREATEST COLLEGE FOOTBALL PLAYER OF ALL TIME.

NOTE: Remember when Bobby came out and blasphemed Our Lord and Savior Tim Tebow this summer by saying Charlie Ward was as good if not better? In Charlie’s senior year, FSU’s non-conference schedule was: Kansas (coming off a Bowl), Notre Dame, Miami and Florida.

Anyway, back to the game. Initially this game looked like both teams would fit their conference’s stereotypes quite nicely. The overpowering UGA defense and strong running game would come in and dominate the soft, fast offensive power in the Big 12 South.

My favorite result of this was when Matt Millen mentioned early in the game that with OSU’s new defensive coordinator they had expected improvement, but weren’t seeing it. “Sometimes, it doesn’t matter what system is put in if the players don’t execute” was Millen’s analysis. It doesn’t take Dr. Freud to see Millen trying to sub-consciously excuse his entire sorry tenure as Lions GM with that single phrase. Nice try, Millen. Just because the networks inexplicably want you to be a football expert don’t mean that the rest of us will ever be able to forget that you know nothing about running a football team.

Of course, by late in the 2^nd quarter the standard storyline was out the window as the Okie State defense clamped down on the UGA offense and the OSU offense started moving the ball and scoring points. This shouldn’t have been a surprise, given the number of offensive weapons UGA lost last year, but after the Big 12’s abysmal performance in the bowls last year I think we all expected the worst.

Speaking of the worst of the Big 12 South, the next game I watched was BYU/Oklahoma. As everyone knows by now, BYU knocked out Sam Bradford and then held on to beat OU.

I know there will be many, many stories written this week anointing BYU to college football’s elite and slotting them into a BCS game but can we pause for a minute. Their vaunted offense had 2 good drives all night. They played against a dreadful offensive line that looked as inexperienced as it is. The second half was spent playing against a quarterback – not named Matt Barkley – playing in his first ever college football game. Their opponent chalked up over 100 yards in penalties. Yet, they still had to endure a final missed field goal to hold on for the win. BYU has never shown the ability to play consistently for a full season, so even if they get by FSU in Provo in a couple weeks (which I couldn’t be happier to be out of the country for), will they be able to keep focus against TCU and Utah or are they this year’s East Carolina?

The other primetime game was Alabama vs. Virginia Tech. I wish I had some in-depth, unique perspective on this game, but it is hard to have a new point-of-view of a game that reinforced every stereotype about the two programs playing.

 VT came in having never beaten a top ten opponent on a neutral field. They left with that record intact.

VT has a long tradition of not playing as well as their ranking should indicate. Every year, pollsters are convinced that VT has the pieces in place to be a national contender – a strong defense, athletes on offense and of course ‘Beamer Ball’. Every year VT disappoints. Despite all of the hype Tyrod Taylor is consistently the most overrated player in the country not named Clausen. He may be elusive and quick but he can’t pass, direct an offense or lead a team. Other than that, he is a fine quarterback.

At this point it would be a greater surprise if VT actually came through in a big game. I am sure they will beat up most of the ACC this year (5 ACC teams lost their opener this weekend – 2 to Division 1-AA teams) and could end up in a BCS game again but until they beat a really good opponent let’s stop this annual ritual of hyping them early in the season.

Unless Michael Vick earned another year of eligibility while at Leavenworth, VT is not going to be in the national title hunt while Frank Beamer is the coach there.

Alabama on the other hand, took the exact blueprint people expected and shoved it right down the throats of the Hokies. An overpowering defense and strong running game helped offset a new quarterback and many mistakes. I don’t think Bama will go through the regular season undefeated like they did last year, but they will at least play tough, boring, predictable games all year.

My opening weekend odyssey ended in the Pacific Northwest – fitting as the LSU/UW game was the one that had gotten me so excited for college football in the first place. I know UW lost but I think it is safe to say that UW has a chance to be the most improved team in the country this year. While they might want to work on open field tackling drills for their corners (yikes), overall they out-played LSU the entire game. After starting with a tough LSU team, whose quarterback served notice to the rest of the SEC, and then getting confidence by beating Idaho next week is the Pac-Ten schedule really going to look too tough to the Huskies?

After all, we have all seen the Pac-Ten enough to know who they are. They aren’t going to come out and punch you in the mouth like an SEC team would.

At least, not now that LaGarrett Blount has been suspended for the year.

Despite the optimism that always accompanies the beginning of a new NFL season, when I look at all of the news coming out of the league I am left a little down. It seems like that until the real season starts, the overriding stories in the NFL are about greed and ego run amok. Look at the big stories in the NFL today:

Brett Favre’s ‘me-first, I am more important than the rest of my team’ approach to playing seems to have already alienated some of his Viking teammates. In record time for him – at least he is getting better at one aspect of his game with age.

Brandon Marshall was suspended by the Broncos due to having the maturity and intelligence of a 12-year old. If there is one way to increase your value and get a team to meet your salary demands it is to quit on your team and be disruptive. Especially coming off yet another legal problem and hip surgery. Employers love that.

Among the rookies, we still have two holdouts. Michael Crabtree is depriving us of probably the most exciting rookie in the league in some mis-guided attempt to squeeze an extra couple million out of his contract. I love the threat of sitting out a season. Brilliant logic. So he does sit out a season, losing an entire year’s salary and re-enters the draft next year – then what? He has already shown he is difficult to work with, so he gets drafted even lower than tenth and is offered an even lower contract. The offers keep getting lower and he keeps missing prime years of his career. That is a great career move. He must have the same business advisor as Brandon Marshall. Crabtree should ask Aaron Crow how this strategy has worked for him.

The other hold out is Andre Smith who is not nearly as interesting but his impact could be more far-reaching. There are no winners from him holding out the finest man-breasts this side of Phil Mickelson from Hard Knocks.

With all of this negativity (who would have thought Michael Vick would be the lone feel good story so far this season), I woke up a little down this morning.

But then the clouds parted and a beam of light shown upon my TV. While I waited for the epic Arsenal – Manchester United match-up (yes, I am a Gunner fan, deal with it). I watched ESPN’s College GameDay preview special. The combination of an important (if early) soccer game and the realization we sit 5 days from college football, helped to brighten my mood.

So, with the predictions of Kirk, Lou and Robert Smith fresh in my mind, I present my annual college football predictions:

-  The thing that makes me most excited about the season? It is the consensus of all the experts picking a Texas/Florida national title game. You would probably assume that the prospect of two of my least favorite teams playing for the title, would send me spiraling into a Leaving Las Vegas-level funk but it is actually the opposite. You see, every season proves the experts have no idea what they are talking about in the preseason. So, the more convinced they are that something will occur, the more likely it will not. Their picking a UF/UT BCS title game makes it all but certain it won’t happen.

-  So, what will keep the two teams from making it? Well, on the UT side, it could be argued they will lose to Oklahoma. Not so fast. They have a better defense and a better offensive line. If OU didn’t win last year they won’t this year (sorry, Turner). However, what seems to get lost is that UT barely beat Oklahoma State last year – in Austin. OSU is going to be very good and they are going to be gunning for UT when the Horns come to Stillwater. I can see the Big Twelve south having the same Ro-sham-bo problem they did a year ago, with 3 teams with a single loss. Unfortunately after a less-than-impressive bowl season, they won’t get the benefit of the doubt like they did a year ago.

-  As for UF, everyone is sure they will breeze through their schedule on the way to the BCS title game. While it is true that UF’s schedule is only slightly more difficult than SMU’s, everyone should remember that UF has the bad habit of taking off one Saturday each season – unfortunately not during their bye week. The obvious candidate would be at LSU. I would point out that their slip-ups tend to occur in the Swamp but the Gators home schedule is a joke. FSU may be the only legitimate team coming into the Swamp and not even the kids who he circumcised think Tebow is going to lose his final home game to a rival. Really, the only other team coming into the Swamp that could surprise would be Arkansas but I did some research and they are still coached by Bobby Petrino. At least right now, he might have jumped ship by the time you read this.

-  One thing I will guarantee about UF is that Gary Danielson will spend 3 quarters of every UF game he announces trying to make the argument why Tebow will succeed in the NFL. At least it will be a new twist on Danielson’s traditional attempt to make every game a nearly unwatchable 3-hour commercial for Tebow for Heisman.  

-  As would be expected by a guy with the objectivity of Sean Hannity, Lou Holtz believes Notre Dame will play in the National title game. This year. Should I give you a minute to stop laughing before continuing? Yes, Lou’s blind love of all things Irish, is pretty humorous, given that Notre Dame hasn’t been relevant to the national title conversation for over 15 years but I actually agree with him to a point.

-  It’s not that I believe Notre Dame is one of the 2 or 3 best teams in the country but they have a ridiculously easy schedule and as we all know with blind partisans like Lou and Beano Cook still helping to drive the college football conversation they will be greatly overrated. They could be 5-0 taking on USC in October. They could go into November at 7-1. If you don’t think a 7-1 Notre Dame is in the top ten, then you think way too highly of the college football writers and coaches. The Irish won’t play for the National title but I think we can all look forward to them getting absolutely annihilated by a superior team in a BCS bowl this season. Now that is a holiday tradition I missed the last couple years.

-  Speaking of USC, I think they fall short of the title game as well. Losing both coordinators, starting a true freshman at quarterback and losing most of their defense may be too much to overcome. Factor in their inevitable Pac-Ten loss to a lesser team as well as going into Columbus the second week of the season and I don’t see a 2-loss USC team making the BCS title game.

-  Yes, I know I always assume Big Ten loses to more athletic teams but I put an asterisk next to this one. A true freshman QB going into the Horseshoe? Yeah, good luck with that. For the first time in memory, I like the Big Ten quarterback more than the competition.

-  So, if OSU can get by USC, is there any team that can beat them? They have to go to Penn State, but the Lions lost much of their already anemic offense. Can they find enough points to beat a more mature Terrell Pryor? Probably not.

-  Yep, I am picking yet another OSU appearance in a national title game. But at least you have a few months to prepare yourself…you know, to make other plans for the night of the BCS title game.

-  So then who do they play? Well, there are two things you can bank on in any college season. First, Notre Dame be vastly overrated should they show just a little life and Second, when a team is widely believed to be the best team in the country, voters will find a way to get them into the national title game despite all evidence to the contrary.

-  At this point, I would guess much like last year, we will end up with a log-jam of one-loss teams behind an undefeated OSU team. If that is the case, is there any chance the voters keep UF out? They could lose 43-3 to Florida International while OU loses only one game to Texas 43-41 on a hail mary and UF will play in the national title game.

-  Voters want to prove their own intelligence. If they vote someone pre-season number one, they are going to do anything they can to prove themselves right at the end of the season, just so they can point to their own brilliance later (I told you UF was the best team and now they are in the title game), ignoring that they are the reason they are in the title game.

-  So, we face the prospect of a UF/OSU title game. We have seen this before and it wasn’t pretty. Any reason to believe this would be different? No. UF wins another title and unfortunately things turn dark when Gary Danielson, distraught over no longer announcing Tebow games actually kidnaps him and keeps him chained up in his basement until the SWAT team stages an epic assault operation to free him.

Now that I see it on paper, the whole college football season doesn’t make me feel any more optimistic than I did coming in.

Oh, and my boys from Arsenal lost 2-1 on an own-goal.

Dark days indeed.