You may remember this past summer, when Michael Jackson and Steve McNair died in the span of just a few days, I wrote a column about how the way someone dies shouldn’t overshadow the way they lived.

Well, in a slightly less lethal way, I was reminded of that lesson this week. You see, Mickey Andrews confirmed the worst kept secret in Tallahassee not involving Charlie Crist’s sex life. After 26 years with the Noles, Andrews, the defensive coordinator is retiring. While the myopic may look at the Noles giving up 34, 28, 44, 27 and 42 points already this season and say ‘well, he was going whether he wanted to or not’, it is only appropriate to take a step back and appreciate Andrews’ entire career.

Not only was Andrews’ defense the real key to making the Noles the best team in college football  for about a decade and a half (quick – how many quarterbacks can you name for the Noles from 1987 – 2000?) but he also helped teach some of the greatest defensive players in the game. Deion Sanders, Derrick Brooks – two of the best players at their position in the history of the sport learned from Andrews. And, given their off-the-field personalities, it is pretty clear Andrews is not a coach that requires mindless automatons unlike some other less flexible coaches. Add in other players like Terrell Buckley, LeRoy Butler, Marvin Jones, Pete Boulware, Bryant McFadden, Chris Hope, Lawrence Timmons, Darnell Dockett, Antonio Cromartie – Andrews has been responsible for more great players than Nick Saban, Pete Carroll and Jim Tressell combined.

While I may mock and curse the Noles disappointing performance this year, that doesn’t mean I have anything but respect for Mickey. So, enjoy your retirement Mickey.

Next year, you can join the rest of us in complaining about the Noles disappointing performance.

While, I am stuck working in San Francisco for the weekend, Turner and the Shadow have roadtripped to Lincoln for the OU/NU game. Sadly, they are only 24 years too late for it to really matter but never-the-less I am probably the first person mad to be stuck in San Francisco rather than Lincoln for the weekend.

Turner: Wednesday Nov 5^th:

From 30,000 feet above the great beige landscape of Wyoming, we are coming to you with the weekly edition of THH.  I’m a bit concerned about our readership as no one asked the question of why there were no NFL games?  I’m sure SuperDave will admit to his careless attention to detail and lack of focus of quality on this over-read blog.

The week thus far has consisted of Boise, ID.  Let me tell you of the GREATEST invention ever….Fry Sauce…… I will likely be starting a “frysauceblog” to rate and gather scientific information about the concoction of mayonnaise, ketchup, paprika, and horseradish (just one recipe) that might be the most heavenly thing since, well, hmmmmmm……. I’m not sure if there is a comparison.   Apparently this is a Northwest (or at least Idaho) thing.  Every restaurant has their own recipe and fast food restaurants carry it as part of their standard condiment package.  As the Shadow will attest, I found this one of the most amazing creations ever created.  So I have a new endeavor in life, and that is to spread the greatness of Fry Sauce to the rest of America.  If you haven’t tried, please use this opportunity to experience the essence of why food was put on this earth.   A condiment that can double as ‘soup’ and be eaten alone is truly a National Treasure.   

If you are a facebook aficionado (like SuperDave just became!) please visit the official site…

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Fry-Sauce/74421423291?v=feed&story_fbid=116075066313

Thursday Nov 6^th:

We aren’t quite in the air any more and we aren’t quite ready for football picks… We just passed the sign on Interstate 80 for the Original Pony Express Station somewhere in Western Nebraska.  The Shadow is flying at 80 mph in our Pontiac G6 while we listen to his variety of Taylor Swift, Def Leopard, Michael Jackson, and Tiffany.  Yes, I’m stuck in this silver bullet absolutely dying right now.  He took control of the radio and will not relinquish it.  The other issue I’m facing is that the Shadow will not turn on the in-car circulation and if you have every been to NE Colorado or Western Nebraska (or any of Nebraska), the putrid smell of cow manure has officially been absorbed into my OKC Thunder T-shirt and hair follicles.  I’m pretty sure if I’m suggest to a drug test over the next 6 months, I might fail b/c what has been absorbed into my system….. With that I must quickly supply a very short explanation b/c I am losing all oxygen b/c I officially can not breathe. This might be the last you’ll ever hear from me so I’m giving the Shadow my credentials to send this message upon my death.  It has been a good ride…. MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Shadow: People always give me crap for being a Yankee fan.  My first actual memories of baseball are from the Bucky Dent game in 1978, when I was 6 years old and sitting in the kitchen watching a tiny black and white TV with my dad, who was a big Yankees fan.  It was only natural that I would become one as well, and as I have told many friends over the years, I had to go from 1978-1996 before I got to witness another World Series victory, so don’t give me any sh*t about being some late ’90′s bandwagoner.  That being said, I am lucky enough to have gotten to enjoy 5 titles in the last 13 years, and have enjoyed every minute of it.  The Yankees have the most money, blah, blah, blah, blah.  Yeah, and I wish Iowa could recruit blue chips from the Southeast or California or Texas.   Every sport, although maybe Pro Football the least, has some sort of talent disparity, if not payroll disparity.  Get over it.  Okay, now that the rant is out of the way, I can try and summon up the hatred.

College

LSU @ Alabama

SD: This week, rather than coming up with some obscure reason to pick rooting interests in games no one actually cares about, we are entering the heavyweight division. We are picking the two biggest games of the week. First stop Tuscaloosa. I could argue that I am picking LSU because I don’t think Alabama can beat UF and I want to minimize the inevitable win for UF in the SEC title game. I could say that rather than hearing about Bama and UF playing a playoff game for the BCS title game in the SEC title game will drive me insane and a foregone conclusion of LSU losing again to UF would be much easier to digest. I could argue all of these things but really I am cheering for LSU because I have always felt that the fans of Baton Rouge were kindred spirits and even more importantly, because I would love to get more kindred with the female spirits of LSU, if you know what I mean. Oh yeah, and I hate Nick Saban.

Turner: Air Boats and Creole over Winnebago’s and BBQ

Shadow: With my Hawkeyes perched where they have never flown before in the BCS standings, it is only natural that all of my hatred is squarely focused on the three teams ahead of them, one of which is the Crimson Tide.  Every week I am hoping for a loss from Bama, and every week I am disappointed.  I am pulling for the Tigers here.

Ohio State @ Penn State

SD: In just about every other year, this game would be to decide who gets to go to the Rose Bowl (or BCS Title game) and get slaughtered by a more athletic team from the west or south. This year, however – thanks to Shadow’s boys from the creatively named Iowa City –  it is really only to decide who will take the lead in the recruiting battle for some ‘athletic’ (meaning athletic relative to the rest of his state) high school senior from either Ohio or Pennsylvania that will be the next savior of the Big Ten to come in and not really do much. Call it the Terrelle Pryor bowl. So, which fanbase takes the lead in the sweepstakes to mutter ‘damn, another fumble, at least it wasn’t another interception’ each week for the next half-decade? I will go with Ohio State only because it is always fun to watch Kirk Herbstreit try and rationalize how OSU is athletic enough this year to compete, when they never are.

Turner: On this one, the pick is for the Shadow… We need to fully root for PSU on this one so that in the event that Iowa ‘may’ (but definitely won’t) stumble against Ohio State in 2 weeks, the Hawkeyes still get to go to the Rose Bowl (with easy wins against Northwestern and Minnesota!!)  Ideally, they will be undefeated but this White Out win at least will guarantee the Rose Bowl for the Shadow, which he said he would attend!

Shadow: This one is going to be very petty and very self-serving.  I want Iowa to go undefeated.  If that is not going to happen, then I want them to win the Big 10 and play in the Rose Bowl for only the 3rd time while I have been cognizant of college football.  Both of the last two times (1985 and 1990) were utter failures.  I want them to go to the Rose Bowl and kick the ass of some Pac-10 team like we kick the ass of SEC teams in bowls.  We hold a win over Penn State.  We play Ohio State next week.  If Penn State beats Ohio State, then technically we could still lose to Ohio State and win the Big 10 based on them having 2 losses and us owning a win over Penn State.  So for this weekend, I am totally a supporter of Linebacker U.

NFL

Tennessee @ San Francisco

SD: My secret theme this week in the NFL is simple. Music. We are again visiting Tennessee (or the middle) but this time they are representing country music. San Fran, of course, is the home or adopted home of almost every important 60’s band. Despite reading Chuck Klosterman’s chapter on the retrospectively weird Garth Brooks /Chris Gaines experiment last week, I have to go with San Francisco. The Dead or the Gaitlin Brothers? Minnie Pearl or Janice Joplin? Grand Ole Opry or the Fillmore? Hee Haw or the Electic Kool Aid Acid Test? Please.

Turner: Pull my pants down for this one, Niners roll!!! 

Shadow: Vince Young versus Alex Smith.  Vince Young went to Texas.  Alex Smith was coached by Urban Meyer.  Vince Young singlehandedly beat Michigan and USC in back to back years on New Years Day.  Alex Smith led Utah to its only undefeated season ever.  Vince Young won a national title.  Alex Smith and Utah were one of the first “BCS Busters”.  Sense a trend here?  Exactly…we must focus on their college careers because each has been pretty much a bust to this point in the pros.  But both have another chance to grab the reins and turn their careers around.  How can we hate that?  We love second chance stories.  Call this one a push.

Detroit @ Seattle

SD: Motown versus the grunge movement. Well, next time I get home I will probably put on a flannel and I have several Pearl Jam songs on my Ipod. Does that answer your question as to which I am picking?

Turner: This one is for the Java, my operating system, and rain over gun-shots and….  Hmmm……Eminem??   Go ‘hawks!! 

Shadow: KISS versus Nirvana.  Pontiac Silverdome versus the Kingdome.   Starbucks coffee versus Little Caesar’s pizza.  How sucky would it be to have to be in Detroit where they hold one out of every 8 Super Bowls or so, and know that your team is far, far, far, far away from ever getting to the big dance, and there are no signs of a turnaround?   But, you know what…..I just really, really hate the Seahawks throwback jerseys.  More like throw-up jerseys.  Blecch.  Let’s see if the Lions can shock the world and double their win total to ’2′.

Despite the optimism that always accompanies the beginning of a new NFL season, when I look at all of the news coming out of the league I am left a little down. It seems like that until the real season starts, the overriding stories in the NFL are about greed and ego run amok. Look at the big stories in the NFL today:

Brett Favre’s ‘me-first, I am more important than the rest of my team’ approach to playing seems to have already alienated some of his Viking teammates. In record time for him – at least he is getting better at one aspect of his game with age.

Brandon Marshall was suspended by the Broncos due to having the maturity and intelligence of a 12-year old. If there is one way to increase your value and get a team to meet your salary demands it is to quit on your team and be disruptive. Especially coming off yet another legal problem and hip surgery. Employers love that.

Among the rookies, we still have two holdouts. Michael Crabtree is depriving us of probably the most exciting rookie in the league in some mis-guided attempt to squeeze an extra couple million out of his contract. I love the threat of sitting out a season. Brilliant logic. So he does sit out a season, losing an entire year’s salary and re-enters the draft next year – then what? He has already shown he is difficult to work with, so he gets drafted even lower than tenth and is offered an even lower contract. The offers keep getting lower and he keeps missing prime years of his career. That is a great career move. He must have the same business advisor as Brandon Marshall. Crabtree should ask Aaron Crow how this strategy has worked for him.

The other hold out is Andre Smith who is not nearly as interesting but his impact could be more far-reaching. There are no winners from him holding out the finest man-breasts this side of Phil Mickelson from Hard Knocks.

With all of this negativity (who would have thought Michael Vick would be the lone feel good story so far this season), I woke up a little down this morning.

But then the clouds parted and a beam of light shown upon my TV. While I waited for the epic Arsenal – Manchester United match-up (yes, I am a Gunner fan, deal with it). I watched ESPN’s College GameDay preview special. The combination of an important (if early) soccer game and the realization we sit 5 days from college football, helped to brighten my mood.

So, with the predictions of Kirk, Lou and Robert Smith fresh in my mind, I present my annual college football predictions:

-  The thing that makes me most excited about the season? It is the consensus of all the experts picking a Texas/Florida national title game. You would probably assume that the prospect of two of my least favorite teams playing for the title, would send me spiraling into a Leaving Las Vegas-level funk but it is actually the opposite. You see, every season proves the experts have no idea what they are talking about in the preseason. So, the more convinced they are that something will occur, the more likely it will not. Their picking a UF/UT BCS title game makes it all but certain it won’t happen.

-  So, what will keep the two teams from making it? Well, on the UT side, it could be argued they will lose to Oklahoma. Not so fast. They have a better defense and a better offensive line. If OU didn’t win last year they won’t this year (sorry, Turner). However, what seems to get lost is that UT barely beat Oklahoma State last year – in Austin. OSU is going to be very good and they are going to be gunning for UT when the Horns come to Stillwater. I can see the Big Twelve south having the same Ro-sham-bo problem they did a year ago, with 3 teams with a single loss. Unfortunately after a less-than-impressive bowl season, they won’t get the benefit of the doubt like they did a year ago.

-  As for UF, everyone is sure they will breeze through their schedule on the way to the BCS title game. While it is true that UF’s schedule is only slightly more difficult than SMU’s, everyone should remember that UF has the bad habit of taking off one Saturday each season – unfortunately not during their bye week. The obvious candidate would be at LSU. I would point out that their slip-ups tend to occur in the Swamp but the Gators home schedule is a joke. FSU may be the only legitimate team coming into the Swamp and not even the kids who he circumcised think Tebow is going to lose his final home game to a rival. Really, the only other team coming into the Swamp that could surprise would be Arkansas but I did some research and they are still coached by Bobby Petrino. At least right now, he might have jumped ship by the time you read this.

-  One thing I will guarantee about UF is that Gary Danielson will spend 3 quarters of every UF game he announces trying to make the argument why Tebow will succeed in the NFL. At least it will be a new twist on Danielson’s traditional attempt to make every game a nearly unwatchable 3-hour commercial for Tebow for Heisman.  

-  As would be expected by a guy with the objectivity of Sean Hannity, Lou Holtz believes Notre Dame will play in the National title game. This year. Should I give you a minute to stop laughing before continuing? Yes, Lou’s blind love of all things Irish, is pretty humorous, given that Notre Dame hasn’t been relevant to the national title conversation for over 15 years but I actually agree with him to a point.

-  It’s not that I believe Notre Dame is one of the 2 or 3 best teams in the country but they have a ridiculously easy schedule and as we all know with blind partisans like Lou and Beano Cook still helping to drive the college football conversation they will be greatly overrated. They could be 5-0 taking on USC in October. They could go into November at 7-1. If you don’t think a 7-1 Notre Dame is in the top ten, then you think way too highly of the college football writers and coaches. The Irish won’t play for the National title but I think we can all look forward to them getting absolutely annihilated by a superior team in a BCS bowl this season. Now that is a holiday tradition I missed the last couple years.

-  Speaking of USC, I think they fall short of the title game as well. Losing both coordinators, starting a true freshman at quarterback and losing most of their defense may be too much to overcome. Factor in their inevitable Pac-Ten loss to a lesser team as well as going into Columbus the second week of the season and I don’t see a 2-loss USC team making the BCS title game.

-  Yes, I know I always assume Big Ten loses to more athletic teams but I put an asterisk next to this one. A true freshman QB going into the Horseshoe? Yeah, good luck with that. For the first time in memory, I like the Big Ten quarterback more than the competition.

-  So, if OSU can get by USC, is there any team that can beat them? They have to go to Penn State, but the Lions lost much of their already anemic offense. Can they find enough points to beat a more mature Terrell Pryor? Probably not.

-  Yep, I am picking yet another OSU appearance in a national title game. But at least you have a few months to prepare yourself…you know, to make other plans for the night of the BCS title game.

-  So then who do they play? Well, there are two things you can bank on in any college season. First, Notre Dame be vastly overrated should they show just a little life and Second, when a team is widely believed to be the best team in the country, voters will find a way to get them into the national title game despite all evidence to the contrary.

-  At this point, I would guess much like last year, we will end up with a log-jam of one-loss teams behind an undefeated OSU team. If that is the case, is there any chance the voters keep UF out? They could lose 43-3 to Florida International while OU loses only one game to Texas 43-41 on a hail mary and UF will play in the national title game.

-  Voters want to prove their own intelligence. If they vote someone pre-season number one, they are going to do anything they can to prove themselves right at the end of the season, just so they can point to their own brilliance later (I told you UF was the best team and now they are in the title game), ignoring that they are the reason they are in the title game.

-  So, we face the prospect of a UF/OSU title game. We have seen this before and it wasn’t pretty. Any reason to believe this would be different? No. UF wins another title and unfortunately things turn dark when Gary Danielson, distraught over no longer announcing Tebow games actually kidnaps him and keeps him chained up in his basement until the SWAT team stages an epic assault operation to free him.

Now that I see it on paper, the whole college football season doesn’t make me feel any more optimistic than I did coming in.

Oh, and my boys from Arsenal lost 2-1 on an own-goal.

Dark days indeed.

In the midst of the slightly over-hyped run-up to the inevitable Kobe-Lebron NBA Finals over the last couple of weeks you may have missed a news item about a cornerback at UF getting arrested.

My immediate reaction to this was obviously:  ‘HA! Stupid, cheating Gators’.

My second reaction was ‘wow, the Gainesville police really like to tase people’.

But the more I stewed on this (and I stewed, oh believe me I stewed), I started to think about the correlation between championship caliber teams and illegal activities.

When I think about it, I struggle to find any consistent championship contending team that didn’t have run-ins with the law and/or the NCAA. What does that tell us?

Maybe you have to have players get in trouble to dream of a college football dynasty.

Look at the teams that have been in the championship hunt for a sustained period:

2000’s

• Florida Gators – Sure, Urban Meyer has returned Alachua County to the national championship race as well as bringing Jesus Christ’s younger brother Tim to town, but he has also brought in players that have now been arrested 23 times. In their defense , if I were surrounded by that many people with mullets and wearing jorts I would be tempted to commit a felony or two myself
• USC Trojans – Other than that whole ‘agents-buying-Reggie-Bush’s-parents-a-house’ thing the USC program has been remarkably clean for a top-tier program. Oh wait, Mark Sanchez got arrested. And Rey Maualuga got arrested. And All Pac-10 DT Fili Moala got arrested. And some recruit before he even got on campus got arrested. How have we not heard more about this? I blame that damn east-coast media bias.
• Texas Longhorns – While his teams have regularly fallen short of the national championship game (other than when VY led them), off the field the Longhorns have tried their best to get themselves in the conversation. However, single digit incidents which barely make the backpage of the sports section outside of the Lone Star state? Just like on the field, it seem like Mack Brown can’t quite keep up with the big boys.
• Oklahoma Sooners – A return to national relevance also aligned with a return to off-the-field problems. I wish I could mock the Sooners. But after all of their BCS game problems, pointing out that half of their team received illegal benefits from local boosters (estimated), might be too much for Turner to handle. Plus, after all of the jokes I have made regarding car dealers and/or Rhett Bomar and/or Adrian Peterson, I should be a little more thankful for the Sooner problems.
• OSU Buckeyes – Yes, there have been arrests and academic problems for OSU players, which wouldn’t be that remarkable. What is remarkable is that they have played in 3 national title games since 2000 and won only one of those, when they were led by future one-man crime spree Maurice Clarett. Clarett looks at those 23 arrests in Gainesville and laughs. 23 arrests? That is a slow month for him.

1990’s

• FSU Seminoles – Wish I could pretend that FSU was the exception that proved the rule, but I still remember the whole ‘Free Shoes University’ thing my freshman year (i.e. the 1993 National Championship year). There was also when we kicked Randy Moss off the team for smoking the chronic, kicked Laveranues Coles off the team and suspended Peter Warrick for getting a 90% discount at Dillard’s and the time I watched Chris Weinke try to beat up a guy that was about 5’3” at Yianni’s before turning on a friend of mine who called him on it.  Of course, as penance we had to suffer through the Jeff Bowden and Chris Rix era, two Gator National titles but this year produced one of the all-time, all-around great guys in college football history, so I think our karmic slates are clean.
• Nebraska Cornhuskers – While the Cornhuskers may have had a cleaner program than a lot of National championship teams, they won their first title in 20 some years thanks to Lawrence Phillips. Lawrence was so talented he reminded a lot of people of O.J. Simpson. Unfortunately, that was both on and off the field.

1980’s – 1990’s

• Miami Cornhuskers – It isn’t really a question of which Canes got in trouble. It is more of a question of which players were only convicted of misdemeanors – you know the goody-goodys. Remember this is a team that included Ray Lewis, who may have killed a man in a fight at the Super Bowl in 2000 when things escalated rather quickly. I think he him in the chest with a trident. 

1980’s

• Oklahoma Sooners – The grandfather of the troubled program is Barry Switzer’s Oklahoma Sooners. Pick a problem and the Sooners had it. Steroids? See: Bosworth, Brian. Coaches cheating? Read Bootlegger’s Boy by Barry Switzer. Out of control players? Charles Thompson was dealing cocaine out of the football dorm! Wow, you know all of those old sports writers are right. Players today just don’t have the dedication that they used to.

It is sort of sad that when you look back over the last 20-30 years, it is almost a pre-requisite that a team with aspirations of being a consistent national championship contender needs run-ins with the law. Yet, that doesn’t change the inevitable response when another gets in trouble.

When news comes out of another college football player getting arrested, you can always expect a holier-than-thou soapbox article from some writer complaining about out-of-control players. But it is pretty obvious that if you take a step back, players getting in trouble are not something new to the game.

Look, I am not condoning illegal activities, but enough with all the hand-wringing. Only the myopic, naïve or stupid is surprised at this point when football players get in trouble.

Think about football players. To succeed in this game, you have to be a little unhinged. You have to be able to channel aggression toward others and an ability to turn off any self-preservation thoughts to be a great football player. Add that to being the center of attention everywhere you go, the freedom of being on your own for the first time and some alcohol-based fuel and it shouldn’t be a surprise that there are regularly players getting in trouble.

While players have always got in trouble, have things changed? Are more players getting in trouble today than they used to? Probably not.

In my mind, there are really two changes to the game that only make it appear that there are more kids getting arrested:

1 – Media – With the internet, blogosphere, cable television and sports radio; any incident is going to get completely blown out of proportion (see: career of Alex Rodriguez). Twenty years ago, a bar fight involving a football player might make the local papers. Now it will be a headline on espn.com and 43 bloggers will chime in with a comment in the span of a couple of hours (NOTE: I don’t include myself here. I am way too lazy to comment in less than 24 hours). Then if that player is a big enough name we will get sports radio rants, editorials in the paper and speeches on Around The Horn. Whether something is news or not, if you hear about it incessantly for a day or two you start to think it is news.

2 – Parity – While media members complaining about the role of the media is nothing new (and getting as commonplace as football players getting arrested), I think a less discussed and equally important reason for the seeming rise in college football players getting in trouble is the increased parity in college football. Look at that list again. For the most part in the 1980’s and 1990’s there were really only a couple teams that year-in and year-out were always national title contenders. Now, you could say there are 7 or 8 teams, at least, that have been in the conversation each year since Y2k. With more teams having a (perceived) shot at the national title, there are more players that are worthy of becoming a news story when they get in trouble.

Would anyone have cared if a USC player got arrested in 1997 when they went 6-5?

So, while you might have expected that I would take this opportunity to rip Urban Meyer for bringing a win-at-all costs attitude to Gainesville that looks the other way when his players get in trouble in search of more wins. I am not.

I know, I am shocked too.

It comes with the territory. To win titles, you need some players that will get in trouble. That is the deal with the devil that every team has to make to try and hold up that Crystal ball.

Because if you don’t make that deal, you are destined to just be a run-of-the-mill, average team. Maybe you have an occasional year where you do well but for the most part will never field a consistent winner.

In other words, you will be Notre Dame.