A little less than two weeks ago, LeBron James went on television to announce that he was leaving his home town of Cleveland and going to play with two of his buddies on the Miami Heat. Since that moment it has been endlessly debated – not just his move but the manner in which he informed the world. I don’t need to add to that debate as every possible position has been staked out at this point and there really shouldn’t be anything left to say.

Especially since Michael Jordan weighed in yesterday and basically called LeBron a pansy. I’m paraphrasing.

Last Tuesday, George Steinbrenner died. While it shouldn’t be shocking that an ill 80-year old died, especially one with such a fondness for calzones, we still had to hear about it for about 24 hours straight from our friends and YESPN. Sorry ESPN. Sometimes I can’t tell the Yankees network and ESPN apart.

While George’s passing and LeBron’s Decision seems to have nothing in common, outside of the relentless over-exuberance of ESPN, I think they do. I think LeBron’s ego-fest on TV was the most straight-forward example of a phenomenon that seems to signal the end of a sports ownership best exemplified by Steinbrenner.

In the sports world, where for years a small group of powerful, rich, old (and mostly white) men held all of the cards, the world has flipped upside down. The power has come to the people.

Today, it is not the owners that truly rule the sports landscape. It is the players. The workers have risen up and revolution is at hand. Maybe all of that hysterical fear-mongering at Fox News was right about the US turning into a socialist state.

The Three Amigos now playing in Miami are the best example of this of course. D-Wade, LeBron and to a lesser extent Chris “Ringo” Bosh, held the basketball world captive while they pretended to debate and decide where they wanted to play. Billionaire owners came to Akron to kiss the ring of King James and begged for him to sign with their squad. Have we ever seen owners grovel like this before?

Of course, any time there are free agents, they are wined and dined and recruited but it tends to be equal parts wooing and vetting by teams. Not this time. Owners came to see LeBron and danced for him like monkeys.

There was no vetting by these teams. No physicals (remember LeBron’s mysterious sore elbow last spring that so impacted his playoff performance? Once free agency started that disappeared faster than a bottle of bourbon at Dan Gilbert’s house). Nothing. If James had anointed one of these teams as his chosen destination, they would have accepted him with open arms – even if he mowed down half the population in a shooting spree on his way out of Cleveland.

SIDEBAR:  One question that can never be answered because no one would admit: how do the owners of the Clippers, Nets and Knicks feel now, realizing that LeBron lacks killer instinct to lead a championship team? Knowing he just wants to be one of the boys and not feel the pressure to carry a team, is he less attractive to other teams? These teams were willing to sell their souls for LeBron. Now that it turns out he would rather be a sidekick, than the greatest of all time is there actually relief for some of these teams?

While LeBron is the most egregious example of the power shift in sports, he is not the only one.

It is July, so that means Brett Favre is playing his annual “will-he, won’t he” dance. In the process, he holds an entire team hostage. The Vikings essentially have to prepare for 2 seasons at the same time: the 2010 Season With Brett and the 2010 Season Without Brett. Unwilling to pressure the redneck diva, they can only wait and see just like the rest of us. Did the Vikings go out and get a free agent quarterback in the off-season (since they are convinced Tarvaris Jackson is not the answer)? No. They wouldn’t want to offend Brett. So, instead we are less than two weeks from training camp starting and the Vikings aren’t sure if their starting quarterback will even play this season.

Obviously after last season the Vikings are a hot pick for the Super Bowl (you know “assuming…”) but I ask you has any Super Bowl team ever had their head coach travel to the hometown of their quarterback just to find out if he might/maybe/pretty-please could let them know if he will play this year?

What a long time since 2008, when the Packers, tired of Favre’s annual flip-flop, named his successor, whether he was coming back or not.

While LeBron and Brett are the most obvious and painful examples of the new power structure they aren’t alone.

Raja Bell turned down an offer from the best team in the NBA to play for the Utah Jazz. Maybe he has a thing for choirs and ski slopes. 

Ochocinco and T.O. have their own TV shows. This despite T.O. not currently even having a team to play for.

It isn’t a question of why players are now the Ari Gold’s of the NFL, but rather what took so long? Ask any advertising company and they will tell you it is players, not teams that drive sales. Who do you think is more important to Nike and the NBA – LeBron or Dan Gilbert? If you have to ask, maybe the Heat colored LeBron Witness t-shirt already available on NBA.com will help you figure out the answer.

Both the NBA and the NFL have used individuals to drive the leagues growth – marketing players more than teams. So, is it any wonder that these same players, the ones the leagues put on a pedestal in the first place, now call the shots more than some anonymous rich guys? Especially in a post-Goldman Sachs/Bear Stearns world where rich guys are always the enemy. Unless they became rich because they are really good at sports, of course.

No one ever praised the Packers community based ownership structure when they went to the 2008 NFC title game. No, it was the sole result of the gunslinger under center. Should the team be surprised when that same player suddenly sees himself as above the team?

Even today, the potential 3^rd string quarterback for the Broncos has his own signature shoe and the fastest selling NFL jersey. This for a guy that literally has no accomplishments at the pro level and most likely won’t see more than a handful of snaps for his team; though in this instance his team feels almost coincidental to the legend.

All of this revolution will inevitably end in backlash. We sit here today a year from potentially having no football or basketball seasons as both leagues face a re-negotiation of their collective bargaining agreements. With unprecedented costs (i.e. record breaking salaries) and lower revenues thanks to lower ticket sales and the slowly recovering economy, the owners of these teams are going to negotiate hard for concessions from the players. Team owners don’t become wealthy enough to buy a team without having the force of will to get things done their way. You can expect the cold hard boot of ownership to make a strong statement in next year’s negotiations. All of this newly discovered power for the people may not last as long as you can say ‘Mikhail Prokhorov’.

There is one alternative to the return of harsh dictatorial owners beating back the newly discovered liberties by players: a player-owned team.

Players are certainly getting rich enough to afford owning a team. Think of the contracts that D-Wade, Bosh and LeBron are signing with Miami. Imagine instead, they pooled that salary into ownership. Like an actor taking a percentage of ticket sales, players could for the first time have a stake in the success of the franchise. Not only would they be more incented to make decisions in the best interest of the team but can you imagine a team not having to pay its best players in addition to generating profit for its owner? The teams cost structure would be hundreds of millions dollars less than every other team. That allows for signing more players or helping offset the cyclical nature of sports revenues.

Now, I am sure there are at least 47 different clauses against this in both the owner’s agreements and the player union agreements but why? How does this hurt the game?

Building two-way loyalty between a player and his team? That is a revolution any fan can get behind.

Steinbrenner couldn’t have picked a better time to head to that great, big ballpark in the sky.

Fittingly, for the week before July fourth, I learned just this week a little bit about my own heritage. If you trace my family tree back, I am actually a long lost cousin of 2^nd Vice President Aaron Burr which in part helps to explain my love of vice and my brother’s love of shooting things. Though my brother hasn’t shot any Federalists. At least not yet.

I also learned that another relative from another branch of the tree that makes up me, was a private in the Revolutionary war and somewhere in Ohio there is a monument to him and the other citizenry that fought against the British.

Would he appreciate my taking a vacation to travel to London and handing over a lot of money to the British government? Probably not. But then again he lived in Ohio so he would probably be more concerned about whether Lebron re-signs with the Cavs.

Learning all of this really makes me appreciate July Fourth that much more. All of these people hundreds of years ago, making these great sacrifices so that our little ‘experiment’ could grow into the greatest country on Earth if not the greatest country on the soccer pitch. It is only fair we set aside at least one day per year to reflect on all they did for us.

That and, much like Phil on February 2^nd, July 4^th means that Brett comes out of his hole and if he sees his shadow we have 6 more weeks of needless speculation on whether he will play again this season.

Here is a hint: he will.

Because of this, I decided that for the second year in a row I should take this opportunity to list out a few of the things that living here in the great US of A allows me the freedom to think and say. Whether you like it or not.

So, on the fourth of July in 2010, I have the freedom to think:

• All of the calls for FIFA to adopt technology to resolve blown calls is a waste of time. Am I the only one that remembers that one of the best known plays of all time was blatant cheating? It may be called it now, but that wasn’t the ‘Hand of God’ scoring that goal, it was the hand of a chubby Argentinean coke fiend. Take that goal away, Argentina may not win that World Cup and we may not get the on-going circus that is Diego Maradona, Argentine head coach.
• I really enjoy ESPN’s announcers casually mentioning the club team of players on each World Cup team as it helps you know where to find these players for the next four years. But at the same time I have the sneaking suspicion that this is ESPN’s attempt to subtly brainwash the country into watching international club soccer; not-so-coincidentally, a sport ESPN is increasingly showing in the US.
• Speaking of the World Cup, after the poor games last weekend for both the US and England there is much debate on the fates of managers Fabio Capello and Bob Bradley. I can solve this right now. Under Category 4 – the Marty Schottenheimer both should be let go. Especially Fabio.
• Back in the world of the other football I think I have a new favorite former Hurricane. Ok, scratch the ‘new’ part. For the first time ever, I like a former Miami Hurricane. After reading his MMQB this week, stepping in for Peter King, I am an Eric Winston fan. Is it because his first recommendation is something I have been screaming for years? In honor of the Constitution: I plead the Fifth.
• I am a little insulted that the new sitcom Outsourced never contacted me to write for them. This was my destiny in life and they have stolen it from me. I feel like less of a man.
• Chris Simms’ possible arrest for possibly driving while possibly smoking pot is the greatest gift I could have requested for my recently past, trauma-inducing birthday. Adding smoking pot jokes to the standard spleen-removal jokes? Combined with Tebow and Brady Quinn jokes? Happy birthday to me.  
• Of course the funniest joke about the Broncos might be that Brandon Lloyd and Jabar Gaffney are competing to be the number one receiver. Only it isn’t a joke.
• The other big news around Colorado is CU’s joining the Pac-10. If there is one thing I have always said I love about living in Colorado it is sitting on my back porch and watching a glorious sun set into the Pacific ocean.
• Ubaldo Jimenez had one of the greatest starts of any pitcher in history. Unfortunately it is pretty obvious that after having games with pitch counts of more than 110 pitches 8 separate times in the first 3 months of the season, Ubaldo will be as unwatchable in September as Outsourced.

Unless they hire me of course. God bless America.

Sunday, the only NFL story in the Denver Post on yet another slow football news day was at least the fifth of what projects to be approximately 1,437 articles to be written about the Denver Broncos quarterback situation this offseason. This article was a relatively even handed look at Kyle Orton and whether he should retain his starter status with chronic underachiever Brady Quinn and Our Lord and Savior Tim Tebow behind him on the roster.

NOTE #1: The wife actually refers to Tebow as ‘He who shall not be named’. Not willing to go that far (if for no other reason than it is a long phrase to type every time I need to discuss him), I will henceforth refer to Tebow as OLASTT. Why? See above.

The article’s objectivity stands in stark contrast to the civil war brewing in the Post sports section between the Tebow partisans (led by perennially tanned, Around the Horn participant Woody Paige) and the Quinn supporters (captained by Mark Kiszla, who is probably a little jealous of Paige’s TV time and presumably even more jealous of his tan).

NOTE #2: In my imagination the rift will be resolved in an Anchorman-esque duel in Civic Center Park, escalating quickly until Jim Armstrong kills Dave Krieger with a trident.

The article goes as far as to offer the scenario that Orton will be traded, leaving the Broncos the nightmare-inducing prospect of Quinn and Tebow battling for the opening day start. This got me to thinking: why does everyone hate Kyle Orton?

Now I am sure there are people that hate Orton for very THH-ish reasons – stridently anti-neck beard types or alums of whatever school would consider Purdue a major rival (Indiana maybe? If they still have an athletic program – I should check that) – so when I ask that question, it isn’t about Kyle specifically. More importantly, I am trying to figure out why quarterbacks like Orton always fail to inspire loyalty in fans and more importantly teams. As with most things in football there is clearly only one man to blame.

Peyton Manning.

Orton is an athletically limited quarterback, who doesn’t have the strongest arm and will never date super models. Yet, he has been consistently successful in college and the pros with less than top-shelf talent around him. Orton’s final season at Chicago he went 9-6 yet was shipped out for big armed (and big egoed) Jay Cutler, who proceeded to pout his way through a 7-9 season – yet another non-winning season for him (continuing a truly impressive streak dating back to high school).

Orton never looks flashy. He will never set a single season touchdown record, no matter what his receivers do. He just limits his mistakes (He threw 5 interceptions through 10 games last season, which was equaled by Cutler in one game). Surround him by capable skill players, a solid offensive line and a decent defense and your team will succeed.

Yet from the moment he arrived in Denver, all of Broncos nation has been looking to find his replacement. Why?

Because he isn’t Peyton Manning and it has been drilled into our heads that you need Peyton Manning to win in this league.

However, if you really look back at the last decade, what you see is that you are just as likely to win a Super Bowl with a Kyle Orton as you are with a Manning or Brady.

Manning, despite his commercials and fawning press coverage has one Super Bowl win more than Orton. In the last ten years, Peyton has won as many Super Bowls as Brad Johnson or Trent Dilfer.

You can point to Tom Brady as well as another swaggering quarterback single-handedly leading his team to a Super Bowl. But that forgets that his three Super Bowls were won with ball-control, balanced run-pass attacks? The Patriots league passing yardage ranks in their Super Bowl winning years: 2001 – 24th; 2003: 15th; 2004: 17th.

Yes, Brady now owns probably the greatest single season a quarterback has ever had. But he lost the Super Bowl that year. To Eli Manning. Who had 247 yards in that game and a 73.9 quarterback rating that season. Orton’s rating was 86.8 last season.

Ben Roethlisberger won a Super Bowl as a second year player. But that was years before he became a sexual predator and pass-first stalwart of my fantasy team. In that Super Bowl he passed for 123 yards. Relying on Jerome Bettis not-fumbling, Willie Parker still being fast, a stout defense and helpful officiating crew to win.

Even the Saints wide-open style of offense isn’t a product of Drew Brees’ huge talent. It is a product of the large number of weapons and Brees’ smart decision making.

We like to say that the NFL is now a passer’s league. While that is true, it isn’t a downfield, Air Coryell-style league, despite what the Crypt Keeper…I mean Al Davis…thinks. Passing today is a more refined version of the West Coast offense of short, yardage- eating passes. A truly successful offense combines that with a multi-headed, multi-dimensional running game. It doesn’t take a big arm and charming smile to win in that style. It takes smart play and safe decisions.

Let’s face it; there aren’t a lot of Mannings and Bradys out there. Heck, there is even one Manning out there that isn’t a Manning – if you know what I mean. A team seems to have a much better chance of success by finding a solid quarterback and surrounding him with talent (see: Flacco, Joe; Rodgers, Aaron; Sanchez, Mark).

A team that sells it soul looking for the next great quarterback is much more likely to end up a loser than a dynasty.

Just look at the news from the past few weeks to see the folly of trying to find the next, great quarterback.

J.P. Losman (Bills franchise savior), long since abandoned by Buffalo, signed as a 4^th option in Seattle.

Brady Quinn (Browns franchise savior) is given up on and shipped to the Broncos. Replaced by human turnover machine Jake Delhomme. Delhomme is seen as an improvement by Browns fans who don’t have the NFL package and didn’t watch the Panthers last year.  

Jamarcus Russell (Oakland franchise savior) cut.

Jay Cutler (Bears franchise savior) sets single OTA interception record (this is conjecture).

Jason Campbell (Redskins franchise savior) shipped to Oakland.

Alex Smith (Forty-Niners franchise savior) loses starting job to homeless junkie from San Francisco’s Tenderloin district.

Whoops, sorry that last one is next week’s news (Spoiler Alert).

All of these team’s have been consistently bad over the last decade looking for that one great quarterback to come in and save them.

All except when the Bears concentrated on a running game and defense; won two division titles and went to a Super Bowl with Rex Grossmann at quarterback.

That other division title season also featured a young quarterback named Kyle Orton going 10-5.

This time of year there are two types of articles being written about the NFL draft. The first are by ‘draftologists’, those life-less souls who spend their lives in preparation for those few hours each year where young men are herded into a building and sold into service to rich masters.

Wow, in print that really doesn’t sound like a good thing.

These guys all analyze the draft that has just taken place and announce which teams had the best drafts and which had the worst. These pronouncements being the definitive word on the draft despite not a single draft pick even completing their first offseason workout yet.

Coincidentally most of these experts rank winners based on how the teams drafted relative to the expert’s own prospect rating system. So, if a team thinks like the expert than they are ‘winners’; those that think differently are ‘losers’. That is convenient.

The other articles are written by ‘smarter than you’ sportswriter types pointing that we in fact have no idea who had the best draft and most likely won’t know for several years. These sportswriters all think that this is an original idea and think you are most likely not smart enough to realize this on your own so they dust off this same article year after year while scrounging up more anecdotes to drive this home. 

While I may have more in common with the second group than the first (since let’s face it, my hair is no way near as awesome as Mel Kiper’s and I do think I am much smarter than you), I am skipping both of these approaches.

Instead, let’s look at something that may actually have some basis in reality today.

Which draft prospects have the most pressure riding on them today?

Draft picks are not all created equal. Even picks near each other are not the same. A quarterback deemed ‘franchise savior’ has more pressure than an interior lineman even if drafted behind him.

So, who from the 2010 NFL draft will be shown in a montage before the first pre-season game while Billy Joel plays over them?

- Sam Bradford (Rams): It goes without saying that a quarterback drafted number one overall draft has tremendous pressure to do well, but that won’t stop me from saying it anyway. All of Rams Nation looks at Bradford as the savior to step in and resurrect their franchise. Adding even more pressure all of Cherokee Nation looks to Sam as role model to aspire to. Frankly, Cherokee nation might apply more pressure. After the last few years of ineptitude has decimated the population of Rams nation worse than the Trail of Tears.

- Trent Williams (Redskins) and Russell Okung (Seahawks): Both top six picks drafted by new head coaches to protect aging quarterbacks. Both of these coaches have made a lot of offseason moves to improve their team and let their fan bases dream of the playoffs but it all hinges on these guys stepping in from day one and keeping their QBs upright. As the opening sequence from The Blind Side proved in gruesome detail, when an aging quarterback can’t get out of the way of a rusher the results can be pretty revolting. And I am not just talking about Sandra Bullock’s fake southern accent.

- Tyson Alualu (Jaguars): Normally a defensive lineman for Jaguars wouldn’t be a high pressure position because a defensive lineman can rarely be successful by himself and…well, he is playing in Jacksonville, so who cares? But the Jags passed over local messiah Tim Tebow and drafted a player all of the experts agreed could be drafted much, much later. Basically, every time David Garrard throws an interception or the other team scores a touchdown there will be at least a portion of the Jags fans that blame Alualu. Out of the 17 Jags fans that exist I would guess at least 11 of them would blame Alualu – that is pressure!

- Maurkice Pouncey (Steelers): The next time quarterback Ben Roethlisberger is found with his hands on someone else’s butt it better be on new center Pouncey’s. That is a lot to ask of a rookie.

- Dez Bryant (Cowboys): After years of lamenting their lack of skill at the wide receiver as being the one thing keeping them from winning the NFC, the Cowboys bring in Bryant who was already under a microscope for being suspended after lying to the NCAA about his relationship with Deion Sanders. So, not only does Bryant need to prove he is mature enough to play in the NFL, he also needs to find a way to keep Tony Romo from going all heimlichy in every important game. He is only human people!

- Tim Tebow (Broncos): Already the fastest selling rookie jersey in history, not only does Tebow carry the burden of proving every draft expert wrong about his pro prospects but he also will decide Josh McDaniels’ fate as Broncos head coach. Tebow fails and McDaniels is gone: it is that simple. Beyond the pressure from the team there is also pressure from the evangelical community to prove that a squeaky clean virgin can be a successful NFL quarterback. Of course many of these people also idolize Sarah Palin and think Obama was born in Kenya, so they shouldn’t be too hard to impress. A shiny ball of foil might do the trick.

- Jimmy Clausen (Panthers): Clausen comes to the Panthers needing to prove that he isn’t the massive d-bag that everyone thinks he is. He also needs to prove that a quarterback from Notre Dame can be successful in the pros without resorting to jumping in the Hot Tub Time Machine and traveling back to 1986. On the bright side, after Panthers fans spent last year watching Jake Delhomme, as long as Clausen isn’t throwing to the other team as much as he does to his own receivers, he will be loved in Carolina. 

- Colt McCoy (Browns): Poor Colt McCoy. Despite several opportunities for both the Forty-Niners and Seahawks (two teams in need of a new quarterback whether they recognize it or not) to draft him, they passed on Colt and he fell to the quarterback cemetery better known as Cleveland. I feel bad for him. No quarterback has been successful in Cleveland since Bernie Kosar. And now Bernie seems like he is drunk all the time. All of the northern Ohio area is going to put pressure on Colt….ahh, who am I kidding. Following in the footsteps of Tim Couch, Brady Quinn and this year’s starter Jake Delhomme, if Colt can even get his pants on the right way, he will be a hero in Cleveland.

Especially once they meet his fiancée.

The biggest news to start draft day had nothing to do with football yet I saw it having a direct impact on the (non) action at Radio City Music Hall that night. The NCAA let it be known that rather than destroying March Madness by expanding to 96 teams, they were instead proposing an expansion to 68 teams – probably the only way possible to actually improve the tourney (assuming mid-level BCS conference teams are the ones in the play-in games). I figured living in a world where even the NCAA does the sensible thing could only mean one thing.

Common sense is coming to the sports world.

I thought this was an omen for the NFL draft. Maybe for once teams would do the common sense thing. Ignore the high risk/ sexy names and focus on better value players at more important but less exciting positions.

The draft started that way with even Mike Shanahan drafting a offensive lineman in the top five. Heck, logic prevailed to such a degree that the Raiders made a good pick, taking Rolando McClain, the player I personally coveted for the Broncos.

And then with the 10^th pick the Jaguars took a guy out of Cal I had never heard of before, and since he is going to Jacksonville will never hear of again.

But the Jags going off script was the beginning of the end for my trusted friend logic.

And of course, there is one team that epitomized this ‘What the…’ draft logic and it was (sadly) my Denver Broncos.

Trading back is a classic Bill Belichick move so it shouldn’t have been a surprise that the Broncos moved back – especially with my man Rolando off the board (or so I want to believe). When they drafted Demaryius Thomas at the 22nd pick just as I landed at DIA, I was…ehhhh…about it. Yes, the Broncos need a wide receiver to replace the departed Brandon Marshall so I understand the thinking of drafting the big Thomas. I watched him pick apart the FSU secondary last season, so I know he is as good as….well just about any receiver in the NCAA so maybe that isn’t the best benchmark.

Of course the only problem with drafting Thomas is that it doesn’t matter if the Broncos receivers are any good when the quarterback is running for his life the moment he receives the snap and the opposing defense drops into passing coverage immediately because there is no threat of a running game.

(Translation: It sure would be nice if the Broncos improved their offensive line at some point.)

Thomas also does nothing to help a Bronco defense that went from early season surprise to late season embarrassment faster than you can say ‘the Chiefs and Raiders combined for 64 points against them’

As I walked through the DIA terminal I passed a sports bar and I saw them showing Tim Tebow and his family celebrating. Knowing from text messages since I landed that Doug’s Dolphins would soon be on the clock I held out hope that I had a new source of mocking for our constant email exchanges.

And then my phone rang and it was Doug himself.

As you know, it wasn’t Doug’s Dolphins drafting Tebow. It was my Broncos.

Gulp.

For a moment I debated just walking across the terminal and boarding the red-eye to London to start over. I have my boys from Arsenal, who needs the NFL?

Making my way to the car instead, my phone received so many texts and emails it actually dropped service.

So what to think?

Frankly I don’t know. This is going to take awhile to really process.

As an impartial analyst, I can’t fully argue with the pick. After years of brainwashing by Tebow I am convinced he could end up being successful in the pros. It just requires a mad scientist of a coach that can find the best way to use him.

I just didn’t want Dr. Frankenstein’s lab to be located in Englewood, Colorado.

As a shockingly sane fan said on 850 KOA call-in show, the Broncos can use Tebow much like UF did his freshman year: as a package quarterback brought in for short yardage situation. Is there any better weapon on 3^rd and three than a guy that can throw the ball, run up the middle or hand to a speedy runningback to hit the outside edge?

Of course, the counter argument is: do you really spend a first round draft pick on a guy who can only be used in limited situations? Isn’t that why kickers don’t have a lot of draft value? Also, how successful can any quarterback be with a sieve of an offensive line in front of them?

Those are the debates of the impartial analyst in me.

The 10000% partial Bronco and Seminole fan had a slightly different reaction:

NNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

After spending countless hours over the years coming up with new and exciting ways to make jokes at Tebow’s expense he is now being cast as the savior of my Broncos? I am supposed to (gulp) cheer for Tebow? Is this some sort of karmic retribution? After years spent playing the sarcastic, cynical observer of the sports world, was this the cruel joke to be played on me by a higher power?

And what of poor Kyle Orton? He could throw for 3,500 yards and 43 touchdowns in the first fifteen games next year yet throw one pick in that 15^th game and a third of the stands will start chanting for Tebow to come in. Another third will be cheering for Brady Quinn to come in. And the final third will be cheering for some weird quarterback-centric bastardized wishbone featuring Quinn and Tebow together.

A year ago, I gave up on the Rockies thanks to their ownership’s unwillingness to make moves that make the team better rather than just moves that make them wealthier. In theory, I could do the same with the Broncos. But unlike the Rockies who didn’t form until 1993 and I didn’t follow until just a few years ago, the Broncos have been my team for nearly 30 years. There is too much history for me to turn my back on the Broncos simply because of their drafting Tebow.

Instead, much like some sort of biblical character, I look at this as a test. A test of my personal strength. A test of my fortitude. My character. My loyalty. My devotion.

I am sure there is some biblical story where a character is put through a series of tests to demonstrate his devotion.

I just wish I knew which one.

I wonder if there is someone moving to Denver who might be able to help teach me which biblical story is most applicable?

After months of pretending to get our NFL fix by following the human equivalent of the Westminster Dog Show known as the NFL Combine and the movements of free agents deemed too old, too crazy or too expensive by their previous employers we have finally reached the crown jewel of the NFL offseason: the NFL Draft. Out with the past, and in with the future. There are endless educated guesses out there on who each team will draft but who should all these teams draft? Thankfully, your dutiful analyst here at PFB has scoured the scouting services and waded through Mel Kiper’s hairline to determine who each team should target, if for no other reason than our entertainment.

AFC East

New England Patriots – With the loss of Ben Watson to Cleveland the Patriots have a need at tight end (I know, I can’t believe losing Ben Watson would cause anything but joy in Foxbrough but it is what it is). In steps Ron Gronkowski out of Arizona. Whether he succeeds on the field or not, he can at least act as a guardian to long-lost cousin kicker Stephen Gostkowski, reducing the number of wedgies and swirlies inflicted this year by that bully Tom Brady.

New York Jets – The Jets need to find some offensive help for their second year quarterback and overpowering defense. They have gone out on the free agent market and gotten wide receivers and running backs, so they should use the draft to go get a tight end. How about Dennis Pitta out of BYU? Last year, the Jets made the millions of latino fans in New York happy with the drafting of Mark Sanchez. This year they can make millions of Greek and middle eastern fans happy by loading up on Pitta. 

Miami Dolphins – This offseason, the Dolphins lost linebacker, non-stop talker, cheap-shot artist and drunk driver Joey Porter to the Arizona Cardinals. Drafting Brandon Spikes, he of the linebacker playing, eye-gouging, teammate deifying career at Florida will help address the loss of many of Porter’s doucheiest qualities.

Buffalo Bills – Last year, the Bills played a home game in Toronto to expand their fan base beyond western New York and into Canada. If they can’t put a competitive team on the field, this is their best chance at remaining relevant. Drafting Dan LeFevour, a quarterback out of Central Michigan not only addresses one of their biggest needs but may also bring millions of new Canadian fans to the Bills bandwagon when they get confused and assume he is on loan from playing winger for the Maple Leafs.

AFC North

Pittsburgh Steelers – Last year after Troy Polamalu was lost to injury, the Steelers showed a great weakness in the secondary. Drafting Joe Haden, the cornerback out of Florida will help reduce the dependence on Troy’s hair. Plus after years in Gainesville, Haden knows quite well how to deal with a quarterback with a god complex.

Cleveland Browns – Three years ago, the Browns drafted golden boy Brady Quinn out of Notre Dame to address their quarterback needs. This year they can draft Golden Tate out of Notre Dame to address their wide receiver needs. I mean it can’t work out any worse than last time right?

Cincinnati Bengals – Needing another weapon for Carson Palmer, the Bengals should take Jermaine Gresham, who provides the added bonus of sounding like the best-selling legal novel author around. If the Bengals can’t get players that actually understand the law they can at least get players that sound like they do.

Baltimore Ravens – Still looking for players to help out Joe Flacco, the Ravens should roll the dice on Dez Bryant. Sure, there are some questions marks around Dez – especially about his lying to the NCAA and questionable work ethic but if there is anyone that will take a stab at motivating a young player it is Ray Lewis.

AFC South

Indianapolis Colts – Coming off a Super Bowl in which they were torched by Drew Brees, the Colts need to address their inability to put pressure on the quarterback. Jason Pierre Paul out of South Florida can help that need as well as taking the pressure off Pierre Garcon of being the only Pierre on the roster.

Tennessee Titans – With Lendale White becoming ineffective without tequila in his blood it is time to look for a new complement to take some of the load off of Chris Johnson. Not only does Toby Gerhart provide the short yardage power, and leading blocking ability, but can you imagine the nicknames that could be formed for a small black running back and large white running back tandem? Chocolate Lightning and White Thunder? Ebony and Ivory? The I-Spy Backfield? Tennessee Vice? I could do this all day.

Jacksonville Jaguars – Much has been made this offseason of the Jaguars drafting the best player out of nearby University of Florida to help drive interest in the team and improve their anemic offense. I fully endorse this approach and expect Maurkice Pouncey to make the short trip up from Gainesville to Jacksonville.

Houston Texans – The Texans are the ‘Almost’ team. Every year they almost make the playoffs. Matt Schaub has stats almost as good as the best in the league and he almost makes it through the season uninjured. Steven Slaton can make it almost all the way through the game without fumbling. Andre Johnson almost gets the credit he deserves for being the best wide receiver in the game. Thus the Texans should draft Joe McKnight – the USC running back almost as good as his predecessor Reggie Bush who the Texans almost drafted 4 years ago.

AFC West

San Diego Chargers – In a tough offseason for the Bolts, they lost their top running back in LaDainian Tomlinson, a back-up quarterback in Charlie Whitehurst, outrageous child production in Antonio Cromartie and a player known to disappear in big games (Tomlinson again). Clearly they need to sign Travis Henry to address the running and child production needs while drafting Colt McCoy for the back-up quarterback and ‘disappearing in big game’ gaps.

Oakland Raiders – There is little doubt the Raiders will draft Bruce Campbell, the Maryland offensive lineman who is a physical specimen that impressed at the NFL Combine with incredible speed and strength after a completely mundane college career. Really his only chance of success in the NFL is if his hand is still possessed like it was back in Evil Dead 2.

Denver Broncos – The Broncos have a lot of needs. They are looking for linebackers, offensive linemen, receivers and (possibly) a long term solution at quarterback. But there is another position that has been vacated with the trades of Jay Cutler and Brandon Marshall over the last two offseasons: unhappy whiner who quits on his team. The Broncos can’t go into the season without at least one on their roster so don’t be surprised to hear the name “Mike Williams” announced at some point with the Broncos on the clock.

Kansas City Chiefs – The Chiefs are still trying to improve their offense but while the acquisition of Thomas Jones to split carries with Jamal Charles should help, their defense still has holes. Targeting Sean Weatherspoon, the linebacker out of Missouri helps out a defense ranked 31^st against the run last year. Plus he is one of the few players in the draft that would know Kansas City is actually located in Missouri not Kansas. That could be huge when trying to find the stadium for that first game.