This past week should have been the best week of football in the entire year, but due to a crazy work schedule, I have been uncharacteristically silent on all that transpired. Just think about all of the football we have seen since last weekend’s NFL games:

 - On Monday, TCU went out and choked under the bright lights and made fools of all of us lobbying that they were deserving of a BCS title shot (or at least a game against Florida to prove themselves). Instead they went out and were dominated by a Boise State defense that gave up 35 points to Louisiana Tech. We did however learn that Chris Petersen and his coaching staff may prepare their team for bowls better than any other coaching staff (see: 2007 Oklahoma Fiesta Bowl, sorry Turner).

- On Tuesday, I saw exactly one play of the Iowa/Georgia Tech game but I am happy that Shadow’s Hawkeyes were the one team all bowl season to defeat a triple-option oriented team. Apparently the Fall of the Shadow has bled into 2010.

- Wednesday night, some directional school from the MAC beat some other school, which actually makes this much like every other Wednesday. Yet another reason Wednesday might be the worst day of the week – it’s only redeeming quality being its Middle School-esque nickname of ‘Hump Day’.

- Thursday night, Alabama won a BCS title (not national title) deserving of an asterisk only slightly larger than the one on Barry Bonds’ home run totals.

- Friday, the Seahawks fired Jim Mora way too soon and ensured that their fan-base has years of disappointment and underachievement ahead of them being coached by Pete Carroll, a guy who won exactly one undisputed national title while coaching the college equivalent of the AFC Pro Bowl team for a decade.

And then as if to rub salt in the wound of work keeping me from enjoying all this great football action I awake this morning to a press release in my in-box announcing January as National Football Month. I don’t know what that means (other than that creepy middle-aged guy driving a 1970’s Camaro delivering pizzas on TV is trying to stage a coup to claim King of Football Food – taking it away from buffalo wings) but it just re-enforced how much work can get in the way of enjoying football. Damn you, employment.

All of this is a long way of pointing out that the NFL games this weekend sort of suck. After days and days of interesting football games (or so I was told) we are stuck with a slate of games that not even their own fan bases can get excited about – even if we hadn’t seen 3 of them all of 6 days ago.

So as a protest against these ugly games, we are boycotting the Hierarchy of Hate this weekend. If you need advice on who to cheer on – well, for one game (Bengals/Jets) just scroll down and read last week’s THH. For the other games, I advice cheering for games strictly based on potential match-ups later in the playoffs.

Cardinals vs. Packers? Obviously the prospect of a Favre / Packers re-rematch should be enticing enough to put you in green and yellow this weekend. For weeks, I have maintained that the poor Vikings fans have a devastating home loss to look forward to in the playoffs. Could it be even sweeter if that came at the hands of the Packers? Circle of Life my friends. That Elton John fellow knows a lot about the NFL for a gay Englishman.

Patriots vs. Ravens? Do I really need to stay anything more than 4^th and Two the Sequel:  No More Punts? Yes, if they beat the Ravens and then the Chargers and we could be looking at the Pats going back into Indy, this time with the AFC title on the game. Give me that over another one of those boring Steeler/Raven AFC title games any day.

As for Eagles/Cowboys – well, either team playing New Orleans would be interesting, so let’s agree to cheer for the Eagles just because it is so much fun to hear and joke about how the Cowboys and Tony Romo can’t win in the playoffs. I have already lost making fun of Tebow and Gary Danielson’s special relationship. Don’t take this away from me too.

In a week where I miss the best football of the year because of 15 hour work days, I need some sort of joy in my life.

I had never thought about it before, but it seems pretty obvious now. The Athletic Directors of the major conferences that make up the BCS are fans of 1990’s rap. Whether it was Deion Sanders’ ”Must be the Money” or P. Diddy/Puff Daddy’s “All about the Benjamins”, the AD’s that decide the BCS bowls clearly only care about making money for themselves and their major conference constituents.

It is no secret that after the BCS Title game, all other bowl games are typically slotted based on maximizing the revenue of the individual bowls. Teams with large, active fan bases or teams with major national followings always get the nod over the up-and-coming, unknown feel-good story (see: Notre Dame, BCS appearances: 2005, 2006). However, this year the AD’s not only set up the bowls to make money this year but they also went to an extraordinary effort to ensure that those pesky non-BCS conference teams are marginalized as much as possible.

I am speaking specifically about the Fiesta Bowl match-up of Boise State and TCU. This is the biggest cop out in the history of the BCS. Every year we have a team or two from the non-BCS conferences that argue they are as good as the big boys. This year we have two of those. Yet, rather than matching them against BCS conference foes to help settle the debate, the geniuses at the BCS committee matched them up against themselves which proves….well nothing except that the BCS committee is scared to death of their mighty conferences getting taken down by another upstart.

After seeing Bama trounced by Utah last year and Boise’s miracle against OU a few years ago, the last thing the BCS committee needs is another proof point that says they can’t treat the WAC and Mountain West as second class citizens. If pollsters and the public begin to believe that those conferences have teams as strong as the major conferences, then the BCS committee fears the day when we will be arguing for a one-loss BYU team over a two-loss USC or Florida team.

Given that the members of the BCS represent those very same major conference teams, it is obviously in their best interests (of their conferences and the guys who want to keep their jobs) to get as many major conference teams in – which means keeping non-major conference teams out. If it is proven that those teams are as strong as the major conference teams, then the BCS as set up spirals into self-destruction. What happens to their precious BCS championship if TCU goes into the Sugar Bowl and routs an uninspired, disjointed and dispirited Florida team?

No, the only way to ensure that the non-BCS teams remain second class citizens and therefore can be routinely overlooked and marginalized is to just pit them against each other. Then the winner of that game is no more important than the winner of the Best Supporting Actor Oscar.

For the record, I think Boise State would get trounced by any of the other major conference BCS teams – sort of like Hawaii a couple years ago; they played an incredibly weak schedule and gave up way too many points.

But I sure would like to be able to prove it.

On to some other thoughts from Championship Saturday:

- Obviously we have to start with UF/Bama. I can’t remember a more dominating performance by a college team over another highly ranked team. There was literally only one time in the entire game where I thought UF would win. After UF scored to make it 12-10 Bama, I made the assumption that this is when UF takes over and Bama folds like a cheap lawn chair. But on the next offensive play, Mark Ingram took a perfectly called screen pass 69 yards and Bama scored a play later. After that, UF never had a chance, the Tebow Crying group was formed on Facebook and I spent all Monday morning trading emails with funny pictures of Tebow crying on the sidelines. Really, it was a perfect game in every way.

- This despite the best efforts of Gary Danielson. They often say Tebow wills his team to victory. On Saturday, Danielson was the one willing the Gators. For three quarters, he kept claiming this game was similar to last year’s when Bama lost a 3-point lead going into the 4^th quarter. Except this time it was a 13-point lead and Bama had been utterly dominant on both offense and defense the entire game. Other than that, it was the exact same Gary.

- Mark Ingram will probably win the Heisman this weekend but shouldn’t it be taken into consideration that (1) he wasn’t most the important reason Bama won this game and (2) there is a decent chance he isn’t the best player at his position on his own team. After watching Alabama the last two weeks, I am convinced if Tony Richardson was given the ball instead of Ingram, he would have as good if not better stats than Ingram. Can we really reward a guy with the Heisman for just being first string?

- While Ingram is at the podium next weekend in New York I hope he thanks his quarterback and offensive coordinator. This game was won by Greg McElroy’s flawless playing and the play-calling of offensive coordinator Jim McElwain. McElroy did more than was asked of him, making perfect passes and even taking off on two clutch runs that may have been the difference in the game (or as only Gary Danielson would say “he out-Tebowed Tebow”). Combine his flawless execution with McElwain’s play-calling and UF never had a chance. The UF defense was unprepared the entire game – except for one Wildcat play in the first quarter that (not so coincidentally) led to a three and out by Bama. After that play, UF never knew what was coming. Each new drive brought a new wrinkle and UF was reacting one step late all day.

- Each year there is a question of conference superiority and each year I argue against the SEC. Well, I may need to change that stance this year. Did you see that halftime contest of throwing footballs into giant Dr. Pepper cans? At the SEC game, a female med student from Bama hit 9 of 10 to beat a taunting, idiot from Gainesville (is there any other kind?) who made 8. In the Big Twelve game later, a woman from Nebraska won by making 2 over a woman from Texas who made zero.  9 to 8 versus 2 to 0? That sums up the SEC versus the Big Twelve better than I ever could.

- Speaking of the Big 12, am I the only one that was underwhelmed by Texas needing a last second field goal to beat a team with possibly the worst offense in America? Seriously, Nebraska had a better chance of winning if they had just punted on first down every time they got the ball to get their defense back on the field. The Bizarro Bama offense combined poor execution (my 70-year old mother has a more accurate arm than Zac Lee) with poor play-calling. Isn’t the definition of insanity doing the same thing over again and expecting a different result? Then what do you call a coordinator who calls the same off-tackle running play, 3 times every offensive series for an entire game when it didn’t work once?

- Last week, a local columnist here in Denver wrote an article arguing that Nebraska defensive lineman Ndamukong Suh deserves the Heisman. I thought it was just precious – like when a little girl asks for a Unicorn for Christmas. That changed on Saturday night, when Suh took over the Big Twelve title game. Really his only two mistakes were not lobbying to come in to play quarterback for Nebraska and rushing McCoy on that final play. If he hangs back, McCoy absolutely runs the clock out. The imminent Suh sack was the only reason McCoy threw the ball out of bounds when he did, saving the one second Texas needed to make it into the title game.

- The other Heisman trophy candidate who really stood out to me on Saturday was C.J. Spiller. If a Heisman candidate rushes for 230 yards and 4 touchdowns in a conference title game and no one sees it, did it actually happen? How mad is C.J. today that someone decided the schedule the ACC title game opposite the Big Twelve title game? He has a true statement game, and yet I am pretty sure no one outside the Atlanta/Clemson corridor watched more than a snap.

- I guess rather than complaining about all the deserving players that won’t win the Heisman (see: Suh, Ndamukong; Gerhart, Toby; Spiller, C.J., Ponder, Christian…ok, just testing to see if you are paying attention), we should congratulate Mark Ingram on being the first running back to win a Gino Torretta memorial ‘best player on the best team’ Heisman award this year. Groundbreaking indeed.

And only fitting that our Heisman trophy winner, much like our BCS Title game, was chosen more based on uniform than qualifications.

It is a Thursday morning at PFB HQ. I arrived home from the City by the Bay late last night and in less than 24 hours we will be taking the official THH road trip to Las Vegas. It is hard to hate much when you are staring right at 3 days of the blackjack tables and sports book in Mandalay Bay. Other than unfriendly dealers of course.

What is it about a pending trip to Vegas that consumes your life? I went to Europe a couple months ago but did I obsess about all things European before going? Did I watch subtitled French art films, eat cheese and drink wine? Did I eat sausage and beer at every meal until the only thing keeping beer from seeping out every pore of my body was that the pores were clogged with pork fat? No, I didn’t. At least no more than usual.

Yet, with a trip to Vegas on the horizon, I am suddenly consumed with gambling. Whether it is innocent sport-picking games on espn.com, watching poker on TV or playing my little handheld blackjack game, it has been all- gambling, all-the-time for me this week. Why is that? I know I am going to lose large amounts of money, so it isn’t like I think all of this work will give me some sort of edge.

All of this makes we wonder if I have wee-bit of a gambling problem. But I don’t think I do for two reasons. First, is that I am too cheap to lose a ton of money. The second is that I have convinced myself that I only really like gambling as a way to stroke the competitiveness that is no longer a daily part of my life as it was back in my younger days. Now, that I am evolving into a decrepit old man that groans when he stands up and sighs when he sits down, I need some competition to keep me going. Demonstrating my superior knowledge through making money is the perfect avenue for that.

What do they say? Admitting you have a problem is the first step? Well, I won’t be taking that step until at least Monday.  

Turner: I learned a valuable lesson this past week… The more you look forward to something, the more disappointed you will be.  That happened as the Shadow and I made a road trip to Lincoln to watch my beloved Sooners take on the Huskers.  My anticipation had been building for the past 4 months for this game.  It had been a dream of mine since I was a kid to go to Lincoln and even though the rivalry (or greatness of the teams) isn’t the same, it brought back so many great memories that caused me to love college football.   I Highly recommend everyone make it to Lincoln for a game, and if you do, you must attend Sidetracks, a local bar full of Huskers and a live band spending the entire time berating the other team with some good ol’ fashioned humor and jesting.  That was pretty much the highlight of the weekend…..

From there the Shadow and I woke up and worked out (not together for either item) and made our way to a local bar for the Iowa game.  I won’t go into any details on that painful experience but to watch a dear friend suffer in misery but try to maintain a positive attitude was not enjoyable.   We then went there and as SD recapped, did a bit of tailgating, beer drinking (me, not the Shadow), and watching pretty much all 80,000 people come up to the Shadow (who was wearing his Iowa Shirt and Hat) and say “Hey man, did you see the Iowa game today” or “Hey man, did Iowa pull it out” or “Hey man, you do know that you lost to Northwestern, right”.  At any rate, the Shadow handled himself much better than I would have, he simply smiled (showing his sharp pointy hawkeye teeth) and said “yep”.   No anger, nothing… I was proud to be near a man (not that near) that had such composure. 

The roles reversed as the University of Oklahoma apparently left their entire football team in Norman (or they stayed at Sidetracks much too long).  To watch your team march past the 50 so many times and yet never score was painful.  But like the Shadow, I never raised my voice or lost my cool (thanks mostly to the 8 year old boy sitting in front of us).  I simply accepted the fact that this season sucks and I drove 8 hours through smelly, flat-land to watch my team lay a gigantic egg.  After the game, the Shadow and I simply walked back to the car with everyone we know asking the same three questions to me that they were asking the Shadow early (except insert “crappy a$$ Sooners” in for “Iowa”).  We held our heads high knowing that it isn’t the end of the world.

Why?  Well of course is because as bad as last weekend was, this weekend will be 100,000,000 times better.  In 48 hours, we’ll be in Vegas and I’m feeling it, starting with my first ever poker tournament on Friday night.  Karma will turn and by the end of the weekend, you will be comparing the names of Turner, SD, and The Shadow to those of famous Vegas lore.  Hopefully the stories will be so deep that we’ll get 2 or three posting out of it next week.  So I bid adieu to Lincoln and welcome the bright lights of Sin City, what a week.

Shadow: The dream is over.  Jimmy Vandenberg’s debut reminded me of the Tommy “Turnover” Maddox era for my Broncos.  To be fair, it was his first extended action, but, dammit……it was Northwestern!  I would like to think we have enough talent to still beat Northwestern even without QB1 and RB1 and RB2.  Sad.  And this was after the Broncos had already succumbed to their first defeat, and have since added on another, and the offense looks atrocious.  The Autumn of the Shadow has now turned into The Fall of the Shadow’s Football Teams.  I am trying hard to focus on this THH, but it is difficult. 

 Last weekend started so promising.  Road trip with Turner to Lincoln for the big Nebraska-OU showdown.  Friday night stop at “Sidetracks”, a local Lincoln joint only open on home game weekends.  Not much talent in the room, although there was plenty on the stage as the Sidetracks Band revved up the crowd by taking well known tunes and replacing the lyrics to either glorify the Huskers or denounce the Sooners, including a rather scathing rendition of Boomer Sooner, where the band went ahead and added on a few verses since the song kind of lacks verbosity.  The other highlight from Sidetracks was that the little old lady leading the band would read anything the crowd would write on cocktail napkins and handed to her.  Let’s just say I heard anatomical references and various descriptions of “coupling” that would have made a sailor blush.  And it was most incongruous to hear it coming out of someone who could be my grandma. 

 Since the big game wasn’t until 7 PM we had plenty of time to get up, watch the Iowa game, and tailgate with the Local Lincolnites.  As everyone knows by now, the day started shitty with Iowa losing their starting quarterback and then their first game.  I had to absorb some good natured ribbing from the locals.  Many Nebraskan fans seemed overjoyed that Iowa had lost.  I took most of it with stoic grace, but one annoying fan that just couldn’t let it go and kept yelling at me that Iowa lost (as if someone walking through Lincoln with a Hawkeye shirt and hat on would not know what had occurred), so I kindly reminded him that Nebraska lost to the J.V. team from the state of Iowa.  They didn’t like this.

 We also got to tailgate with the CEO of our company.  He was really down to earth, and eats Fritos right out of the bag like the rest of us.  No bean dip though.  And he kind of thought I was just a friend of Turner’s rather than realizing that I work for him as well, and in fact spend most of my time making Turner look good…which is a tough job…I probably need a raise.  By the time we got into the luxury suite, and looked out upon the fabled “Sea of Red” it was a pretty amazing site.  I had never been to any big time college games, and it was truly an experience.  Turner’s Holieway jersey ensured we would be showered with wisecracks all game, especially with the game itself a true snoozer.  I am pretty sure both offensive coordinators should have been fired on the spot.

 So we ended the day with a loss for each of our team’s, including SuperDave’s Seminoles, and still had to face the 7 hour drive back to Denver.  If anyone asks me if I would ever do this again, I can answer quite honestly…….Damn Right I would!  Even with the losses, it was a hell of a lot of fun, and a perfect warm-up for the debauchery that will occur this weekend in Las Vegas.

College:

Northwestern @ Illinois

SD: Our theme this week is intrastate rivals – because nothing is harder than picking between two teams in the same state you couldn’t care less about. Our first match-up is the old classic state school v. uppity, smart kid private school (see also: UNC/Duke, Cal/Stanford). Well I am state schooler through and through – from my parents to my collegiate experience to my outlook on life (fun before social standing). So in honor of all those kids out there that weren’t born with a trust fund and didn’t spend their entire high school career only doing what looked best on their college application, I’m cheering for the Illini. Take that silver spoon and shove it Wildcats.

Turner: 1 giant bag of poop to SD for this one.  This is just rubbing it in the Shadow’s wounds.   Under normal circumstances, I’d always go with NW because of their academics and purple but because of the heartbreak they caused my friend (or should I say “my employee” because the Shadow always introduces me as “his boss” versus “his friend” which completely pisses me off every time), I have to go with the Illini.  They ruined last Saturday, likely ruined the Rose Bowl dreams, and even potentially ruined the big game on Saturday versus OSU by breaking Stanzi’s leg.  You might be smart but you weren’t considerate NW.

Shadow: F*cking Northwestern.

Idaho @ Boise State

SD: One of these is the most overrated team in college football since the 2007 Hawaii Rainbow Warriors and set the tone for my college fantasy season by taunting and (most likely) racially slurring my first round draft pick to that point that he sucker-punched a dude, tried to pull a Ron Artest on the crowd and got dismissed for the season (only to be re-instated this week, the first week of my fantasy league playoffs – for which I didn’t qualify thanks to the aforementioned losing of my first round pick in the first game of the entire year. Awesome). The other team is based in Moscow and is nicknamed the Vandals. There isn’t much to like about a state best known for its militias and Senators that like anonymous gay sex in airport bathrooms but aren’t gay, but a city named Moscow and a team named Vandals is one of them. Please Vandals, save the college football world from suffering through this BSU team getting shellacked in an undeserved BCS bowl.  

Turner: Great match up here and having been in Idaho twice in the last month, the entire state is gearing up for this game.  Mark Schlereth of Bronco fame is an Idaho alum and has been talking the Vandals up for the past three weeks on ESPN.  I’m going to have jump on the Vandal bandwagon on this one only due to the fact that BSU has been whining about how great they are when they really aren’t.  They need to go down now so we can stop listening to them think they deserve to be on the big stage.  I don’t mind a TCU or even a Cincy but Boise has done absolutely nothing to impress me over the last month (ok – since Oregon) so I just want the smurfs to be quiet for a while so we can focus on the future of Idaho football.

Shadow: Congrats Idaho!  You get my vote.  Boise State- if you are wondering why I hate you, you can thank Eric Weaver who works for 5280 Solutions right down the road from your Smurf Turfed stadium.  His obnoxiousness about why if Boise State runs the table next year they will definitely be in the national title game made me start to feel intense hatred for all things Boise State. 

NFL:

Tampa Bay @ Miami

SD: The battle of the sunshine state.  I have never cheered much for the Dolphins, mostly because I had a long-running Marino vs. Elway debate with my huge Dolphin friend Doug. Actually I should say ‘have’ not ‘had’ because the debate still rages to this day – a full decade after Elway proved without a doubt that he was the better quarterback. Doug is just a little slow. Anyway, with that I would lean toward the Bucs – but don’t think I haven’t forgotten what they did to the incomparable Derrick Brooks this offseason and don’t think I haven’t immensely enjoyed every single point scored on this inept team. If Jay Cutler weren’t in the league, Raheen Morris might be the most hated NFL individual around PFB HQ these days. But, even my cheering for the Dolphins doesn’t change how much better Elway was than Marino.

Turner: Tampa Bay is on my sh**-list right now.   Why?  Because I was there a few weeks ago and wanted a tag-along (you know those peanut butter girl scout cookies) blizzard from Dairy Queen.  First off there is only 1 DQ in the entire city which blows my mind since you can find a wings place and a Waffle House on every corner.  And that 1 DQ didn’t carry the Tag-along brand of blizzard because “they aren’t very popular”.  I’m sorry, who just said that to me?  It was ridiculous that the Thin Mint or Samoa would be better in a blizzard than a tag-along…… I get back to Denver and within 24 hours, the Shadow has one on my desk.  That is service and quality that I expect from a city.  One that obviously that is something I can’t expect from Tampa Bay.  While I don’t know if Miami offers the tag-along, they can offer me a Cuban (sandwich or Cigar) and South Beach.

Shadow: Flowers……..Plumber……….Candygram.  How can you root against a team that plays in Landshark Stadium?  Go Dolphins.

[Editor Note: While that is a fantastic reference by the Shadow, no reader under the age of 30 is going to understand it – so let me just add  this]

Atlanta @ Carolina

SD: So, they aren’t in the same state – sue me. I can only work with what the NFL schedule makers gave me. But they are pretty close, especially when you factor in the Panther intentionally going with ‘Carolina’ rather than ‘North Carolina’ where they are actually located in the hopes of confusing South Carlinians into cheering for them as well. Which, given these are the people who believed that McCain had an illegitimate bi-racial daughter in 2000 and therefore inflicted 8 years of Dubya on us, is a reasonable assumption. Contrast this with the Falcons, who joined the league back in the days when the only reasonable name being the city where you are located (other than the greedy Patriots who preemptively claimed an entire region for themselves). It is almost a giant ‘F-you’ to the rest of Georgia. Basically saying, we don’t want your kind cheering for us. Judging by the number of empty seats at a typical Falcon game, this plan was a great success. But I like the elitism of going with the city name, so for that I am cheering on the Falcons in this one.

Turner: It annoys me that cities that generally have good weather have stadiums that are solely indoors.   For that reason, Atlanta needs to go down this week.  I use to hate them because of Vick but now I’ve moved on and can find other reasons and this week it is this one.  I like Jake Dehlomme (as my 5^th string starter in fantasy) so I hope they prevail.

Shadow: Seeing as it is Veteran’s Day, I will be rooting for the Air Force Fighting Falcons!  What?  Huh?  It’s the Atlanta Falcons?  Oh well, whatever.  Close enough.