I don’t make a habit of writing previews for the myriad of meaningless bowl games that dot the calendar like piles of dog poop in your backyard. They really only matter to each player’s mother who is inevitably given the uniform with the bowl game patch to wear to each game the following season as they yell “My baby! That’s my baby!” after each good play.
But today I make an exception for the Beef O’Brady’s Bowl.
People outside of Florida may not be familiar with B O’B’s so let me provide 2 stories to explain B O’B’s itself and by extension the essence of the Beef O’Brady’s Bowl.
Note: henceforth I will not type out the full name of Beef O’Brady’s and instead refer to it as B O’B’s mostly because I like to picture Rivers Cuomo and B.o.B. hunched over a basket of chicken wings writing ‘Magic’.
When I lived in Tallahassee, I had a good friend (born and raised in Leon County, for the record) Shafer, who introduced me to B O’B’s and, not so coincidentally the joys of morning beers while driving an aluminum john boat around a lake scouting hunting locations. Shafer’s sole rationale for regularly visiting B O’B’s was that it had the ‘coldest beer in Tallahassee’. Not best. Not cheapest. Coldest.
Second, I once dragged the Mrs. to B O’B’s to share some of the ‘coldest beer in Tallahassee’ and a bucket of their ‘Award Winning Wings’. The wings – award winning, remember – are really the signature item on B O’B’s menu. Naturally, they were so undercooked that the Mrs. spent the remainder of the evening hunched over in the bathroom.
And that is, in essence, all you need to know about tonight’s game. B O’B’s can’t get their signature item right so why would you think they could create a football game worth watching?
P.S. – all they do is freeze their mugs.
