Fittingly, for the week before July fourth, I learned just this week a little bit about my own heritage. If you trace my family tree back, I am actually a long lost cousin of 2nd Vice President Aaron Burr which in part helps to explain my love of vice and my brother’s love of shooting things. Though my brother hasn’t shot any Federalists. At least not yet.
I also learned that another relative from another branch of the tree that makes up me, was a private in the Revolutionary war and somewhere in Ohio there is a monument to him and the other citizenry that fought against the British.
Would he appreciate my taking a vacation to travel to London and handing over a lot of money to the British government? Probably not. But then again he lived in Ohio so he would probably be more concerned about whether Lebron re-signs with the Cavs.
Learning all of this really makes me appreciate July Fourth that much more. All of these people hundreds of years ago, making these great sacrifices so that our little ‘experiment’ could grow into the greatest country on Earth if not the greatest country on the soccer pitch. It is only fair we set aside at least one day per year to reflect on all they did for us.
That and, much like Phil on February 2nd, July 4th means that Brett comes out of his hole and if he sees his shadow we have 6 more weeks of needless speculation on whether he will play again this season.
Here is a hint: he will.
Because of this, I decided that for the second year in a row I should take this opportunity to list out a few of the things that living here in the great US of A allows me the freedom to think and say. Whether you like it or not.
So, on the fourth of July in 2010, I have the freedom to think:
- All of the calls for FIFA to adopt technology to resolve blown calls is a waste of time. Am I the only one that remembers that one of the best known plays of all time was blatant cheating? It may be called it now, but that wasn’t the ‘Hand of God’ scoring that goal, it was the hand of a chubby Argentinean coke fiend. Take that goal away, Argentina may not win that World Cup and we may not get the on-going circus that is Diego Maradona, Argentine head coach.
- I really enjoy ESPN’s announcers casually mentioning the club team of players on each World Cup team as it helps you know where to find these players for the next four years. But at the same time I have the sneaking suspicion that this is ESPN’s attempt to subtly brainwash the country into watching international club soccer; not-so-coincidentally, a sport ESPN is increasingly showing in the US.
- Speaking of the World Cup, after the poor games last weekend for both the US and England there is much debate on the fates of managers Fabio Capello and Bob Bradley. I can solve this right now. Under Category 4 – the Marty Schottenheimer both should be let go. Especially Fabio.
- Back in the world of the other football I think I have a new favorite former Hurricane. Ok, scratch the ‘new’ part. For the first time ever, I like a former Miami Hurricane. After reading his MMQB this week, stepping in for Peter King, I am an Eric Winston fan. Is it because his first recommendation is something I have been screaming for years? In honor of the Constitution: I plead the Fifth.
- I am a little insulted that the new sitcom Outsourced never contacted me to write for them. This was my destiny in life and they have stolen it from me. I feel like less of a man.
- Chris Simms’ possible arrest for possibly driving while possibly smoking pot is the greatest gift I could have requested for my recently past, trauma-inducing birthday. Adding smoking pot jokes to the standard spleen-removal jokes? Combined with Tebow and Brady Quinn jokes? Happy birthday to me.
- Of course the funniest joke about the Broncos might be that Brandon Lloyd and Jabar Gaffney are competing to be the number one receiver. Only it isn’t a joke.
- The other big news around Colorado is CU’s joining the Pac-10. If there is one thing I have always said I love about living in Colorado it is sitting on my back porch and watching a glorious sun set into the Pacific ocean.
- Ubaldo Jimenez had one of the greatest starts of any pitcher in history. Unfortunately it is pretty obvious that after having games with pitch counts of more than 110 pitches 8 separate times in the first 3 months of the season, Ubaldo will be as unwatchable in September as Outsourced.
Unless they hire me of course. God bless America.
