Seventeen straight weeks is a long time to pick who to cheer on in random NFL match-ups. There are only so many times you can pick against Jacksonville just for the hell of it. As we reach the end of the season when even NFL teams are starting to rest their players, we here at the THH keep soldiering on, in the firm belief that our playoff performance will be directly impacted by taking a week or two off and losing that winning rhythm that got us this far.
However, like the adults at that party in the Ice Storm (Anyone? Anyone?) we want to mix things up a little this week. We didn’t put names in a fish bowl and draw out new partners for the evening, instead we look at the match-ups and come up with some game to determine who to cheer on. This week, I handed the reins to Turner to come up with the trivia/theme/game we need to pick winners. I will spare you the 27 message email chain needed for me to understand what we were being asked and instead let him explain.
Turner: As we head into this last week of 2009, there are a lot of things to look forward to in 2010. First off, please let me just rejoice in the thrashing that the Ponies put on Nevada. I had a bit of a tear in my eye during half-time as they kept saying “these are the ponies of the 80′s”. Now I’m not sure exactly what that could mean, it was either 1) they were playing like top 5 team in the country or 2) they must be paying these guys because that is the only way that team has seemed to actually perform. I’m going to continue focusing on #1 as it gives me something to already starting planning my days around next September (sooooo far away).
The other good thing about this week is that OU plays on Thursday, thus if they suck as they have all year, I can attribute it to 2009 and still have fondness in looking forward to next year. If you take this, plus the Broncos will be undefeated in January (because they sucked in 2009 and missed the playoffs), the Nuggets will rally and at least make the Western Conference Finals and the Avs might actually sneak into the playoffs, the outlook of the Denver / Oklahoma / SMU sports scene can only go up! Oh and there is that FSU visit to Norman next fall. That alone makes 2010 (and 2011!) something to look forward to!!!!!!
This is also my official send-off for Bobby Bowden (2-13 SCOREBOARD)…. I hope he wins especially since SD is spending his personal money to go to Jax to see the game. I can honestly say I will likely NEVER spend my own money to go to Jax. It sure will be nice to see a full stadium in Jax, this and the UF/UGA game are the only times each year (unless Kenny Chesney plays a show there)….
For this week’s THH we went with “pick the game based on alumni from SD (FSU), The Shadow (Univ. Northern Colorado / Iowa) and Turner (the OU). As with last week there seemed to be a lot of confusion for SD on how to interpret a little research project into actually doing research or at least be good at playing 20 Questions. I sure loved that game but maybe SD should have spent more time playing that then focusing on Spin the Bottle with my wife in middle school and high school.
(NOTE from SD: This is untrue. I didn’t know Mrs. Turner in middle school)
This week’s games are as follows:
Representing Turner: The Football NY Giants @ Minnesota Vikings (THE Rhett Bomar / Allen Patrick vs. Adrian Peterson)
Representing SD: Cincinnati Bengals (Laveranues Coles) @ NY Jets (Leon Washington)
Representing the Shadow: Washington Redskins (Ladell Betts) @ S.D. Chargers (Vincent Jackson / Nate Kaeding)
**interesting note: each of these match-ups features back-up RBs from each our respective colleges. That should have been an interesting addition to the research, it makes me happy that FSU players are relegated to back-up status as well
Shadow: I personally thought the Broncos would go 6-10 this year at best. At the absolute best. So why do I find myself pining for 9-7 and a playoff spot? I think it was that deceptive 6-0 start. It just completely through off my Broncolibrium ™, and got me to thinking thoughts I shouldn’t have thought to think or thought. I guess I will be disappointed when they don’t make the playoffs, and that disappointment is heightened just like last year by losing games we had no business losing (Oakland at home two years in a row….WHAT THE F*CK).
So in Part Deux of Super Dave’s attempt to prove to me and Turner how hard this whole “theme” picking stuff is, he is letting Turner take the reins, and predictably Turner stepped up to the plate and nailed the jay. He got all the parts of a quality THH theme email correct: deceptive wording (“vested interest”), red herrings (“New York Football Giants”…is he implying some connection to the “baseball” Giants?), and pointing out the obvious (“in our past”…as opposed to us all suddenly becoming Nostradamus). Dave and I rattled around ideas for a couple hours…with Dave doing virtually all the heavy lifting, and finally nailed his theme, which was Alma-Mater weekend. Of course, it only really works for Super Dave, who multiple actual players from his alma-mater playing in the NFL right now….but I guess that is beside the point. Turner and I will be using our “Ersatz Mater” for this one.
Actual phrasing of Turner’s Hint: Each of us has a vested interest in one of the games based on our past. You must pick the game based on that criteria.
The Turner Bowl : Giants (Rhett Bomar/Allen Patrick) @ Vikings (Adrian Peterson)
SD: I have decided to go with a theme within a theme this week. I call it the Crime and Punishment playoffs. While each match-up features alums of our schools it also (maybe not so coincidentally) includes players that ran into some sort of trouble with either the NCAA or the law while in school. Maybe it is my inner-outlaw rearing its ugly head, but I have decided for this week that I am pro-criminal. So, given that Bomar was banished from Norman to Sam Houston State for receiving a pay check from a booster for a job he didn’t actually do <insert joke from Turner about my own career here> while Adrian Peterson, despite being a better player and working for the same booster, was never found of any wrong doing. I believe if you do the crime, you should do the time, therefore I cheer for the player with the best name for a fictional movie quarterback west of Colt McCoy and the rest of the Giants.
Turner: Reliving the OU Legacy here, Rhett “would you like that Corvette in Blue or Red” Bomar vs. ALL DAY. The Bomar just won’t go away. Allen Patrick (back-up running back) was the initial focus on the Giants for this one. It might have even caused the Giants to win this THH but just like in college, he is being overshadowed by the greasy used car salesman himself, Rhett. Here is the chain of events that leads me to a Vikings victory here: OU lands 5 Star Recruit Bomar (which has NEVER been successful at OU)……Bomar comes on campus as the Golden Child and is mediocre……. He decides to sell cars (ok, not sell cars but get paid for being employed by a car dealership w/o actually showing up) <INSERT TURNER NOTE:WHAT IS WRONG WITH THAT, This is what SD does every day> He gets kicked off team, OU still goes to BCS game and runs into Boise State and hasn’t shown up in a big game yet. So yes, Bomar cost my beloved Sooners at least 2 national championships and has cost the Giant at least one win this December. (41 points to Carolina at home??). A.P. will be running ALL DAY in this one.
Shadow: The battle of the NFL Sooners. AD-AP and Rhett Butler. As much as I admire Rhett for holding down one of my dream jobs (getting paid for not really doing anything..kind of like being an Executive Director…I kid, I kid…stop filling out that pink slip Turner), I cannot resist giving the nod to AP who was nice enough to not put up 200 yards and 4 TD against Da Bears, thus preserving for me the championship of my office fantasy league. It’s the Vikings in this one.
The Super Dave Bowl: Bengals (Lav Coles) @ Jets (Leon Washington)
SD: There are so many reasons to cheer for Lav over Leon, this one is as one-sided next year’s OU/FSU game will be. I knew Lav while at FSU. He was there during FSU’s glory days. Leon’s disappointing season and broken leg helped kill my fantasy team this season. The Broncos need the Bengals to win. The Jets are located in (or adjacent) to New York. Most importantly, Lav was kicked off the 1999 Noles for receiving a 90% discount at Dillard’s (among other offenses). As I said above, since I live the oulaw life, I feel a kinship with those who ran afoul of the law. Keep fighting the Man, Lav!
Turner: Again here, bright shining star with some “Trouble” (a.k.a. This was Coles Nickname). It all started with him being born in Jacksonville (karma since SD is headed there and that is what he is going to be in after spending 4 hours at The Landing on Thursday night). Question: When does $412.38 worth of clothing only cost you $21.40? Answer: When you and Peter Warrick (currently playing for the Bloomington Extreme – wow) are shopping at Dillards. I actually don’t necessarily fault these guys for this b/c with the education level in Tallahassee, the sales clerk probably added up the numbers incorrectly. I guess Free Shoes just wasn’t enough.
In addition to this let’s focus on the rest of his life in the 90′s: Coles was arrested in 1998 for batter, suspended for the Seminoles’ 99 Season Opener against Louisiana Tech for academic reasons, and discovered to have accepted a plane ticket from a sport agent representative in 1999
All of this is contrasted with good ol’ Leon. The interesting thing here is that Leon is also from Jacksonville. Maybe SD could take a “let me see where these guys grew up” tour after the FSU game (think he’d make it 5 minutes – I’d say HELL NO)…. the only thing in Leon’s past was that he apparently gave an obscene gesture for his Bowman’s rookie card (since removed – I’m sure it wasn’t an obscene gesture but more giving the classic “J” sign that is ingrained in all of us from Jax)
With all of this, it think it is safe to say that the J-E-T-S will win this one, but only if they survive. Only hope the Bengals have is to maybe distract them with Lav’s cubic zirconium that he purchased for $1.99. Good thing they are playing in NY where I’m sure he can also get a Rolex off the street.
(oh – and with this THH win, the Broncos are officially eliminated from the playoff, yet another reason to hate FSU)
Shadow: Wow, both New York teams this week…who knew Turner was a member of the supposed East Coast media bias. This one is for Bobby Bowden’s lads, of which, sadly, there will be no more. I think it is fairly safe to say that there will never be any more coaches in the future with the legacy of a Bobby Bowden, as our 24/7 full-access media bloated society will likely never allow a coach to spend 30 some odd years at one school. And that, my friends, is sad. So we have Laverneous versus Leon. Call me old-school, but I tend to prefer runners over receivers. Someday soon Leon will be teaming with Shonn Greene and Mark Sanchez to create a formidable backfield for the Jets. Of course, they will probably still underachieve enough to make Greenie lament their woes each morning on ESPN Radio. But, here and now, they still get my pick.
The Shadow Bowl: Redskins (Ladell Betts) @ Chargers (Nate Kaeding/Vincent Jackson)
SD: When I initially decided to go with the Law & Order theme for my personal THH entries this week, I asked the Shadow if any of the involved Northern Colorado or Iowa players had ever faced legal or compliance issues. He responded: The only thing illegal happening in Greeley were bad pick-up lines. And no Hawkeye football player would ever dare to get into legal issues….that is what the basketball team is for.
While this may be true specifically for these players apparently Shadow forgot that every program runs into legal problems. Some worse than others. For example, there once was a school where the back-up punter was so desperate to start, that he decided the best way to win the job was not out-kicking the starter but rather stabbing him in the leg (Bronco fans recognize this as the same approach used by Mitch Berger this season). That school? Shadow’s alma mater – UNC of course! So in honor of Mitch Cozad I am going with fellow UNC alum Vince Jackson and the San Diego Chargers (sorry, UNC alum and Redskin Reed Doughty, I am playing by Turner’s rules this week).
Turner: I’m a big fan of Vincent Jackson (a.k.a Wild Child). I can count the number of NFL Players from Colorado on one hand and Vincent leads the pack. He is a stud and should be recognized as such. Nate Kaeding (“Big Game Nate” and “Mr. Automatic” (Do you lose your nickname if you miss 4 straight FGS in the playoffs???) has a few interesting notes about him, he is only at S.D. because of the whole Eli Manning / Phillip Rivers trade. Quite possibly if that hadn’t happened then the Giants would have never won that Super Bowl (but I guess then the Patriots might have – ugg) and that would just enhance everything about the origin of the THH philosophy around the hatred of NorthEast Sports Teams. Ladell Betts has nothing on him either, he is from Kansas City, he is from a single mom household who worked three jobs to keep Ladell fed. That is a great story. I really have no reason to pick against any of these players so this one went to OT and ended in a tie. Yes, there is a possibility of ties in THH when you either hate both teams equally or you really don’t hate either one at all based on the criteria.
Shadow: This one had to be the most difficult game for Turner to find, since there aren’t exactly a ton of former Hawkeyes in the ranks of the NFL. He chose well. Ladell Betts versus Nate Kaeding. My favorite thing about Ladell? In 2000, every yard the Hawkeyes gained rushing was by Betts. I am not sure if that says more about consistency, or about really unimaginative play calling by the Iowa staff. In the NFL he has never really gotten a chance to be the full time starter for any length of time, and has to be simply considered “serviceable”. Kaeding, on the other hand, is Iowa’s all time leading scorer, and is now an All-Pro kicker in the NFL (despite missing some key FG’s in playoff games). I am going with the kicker in this one, plus San Diego has also been friendlier to the Hawkeyes over the years (Kevin Kasper, Tim Dwight, Scott Chandler, Mike Goff, Ronnie Harmon). Go Bolts!
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It will be great to watch Denver Broncos, i have bought tickets from TicketFront.com looking forward to it.