Over the last week and a half, the sports world has been immersed in the quadrennial fun that is the winter Olympics. For 3 years and 50 weeks, the vast majority of us could not care less about the winter Olympic sports, but for two weeks, sports like skeleton, bobsled and freestyle aerials become the most captivating thing on television. Plus they give me an opportunity to keep using the word quadrennial.
While the Olympics are a nice diversion in an otherwise barren sport landscape this time of year, do they really matter? Unlike the Danes and speed skating or Canada and hockey, Americans have little national pride wrapped up in our performance in the Olympics. Sure, NBC goes extra-jingoistic in their coverage, really only highlighting sports in which the US excels to help swell American pride, but when Shani Davis is out-skated by a Dane, do any of us lose any sleep? Other than those of us lucky enough to go to the Holland House and party that night, of course.
However, even if there is a general national apathy about the Olympics, there are lessons to be learned from them. In fact, if I look at some of the things I learned here, it seems like even the mighty NFL could learn a few things from the winter Olympics:
- Olympic Lesson: Creative adjectives are overrated: While announcing probably the most exciting hockey game any of us will ever see, one of the announcers used the phrase “Tremendously tremendous”
- NFL application: NFL announcers need to quit trying to create new adjectives and just overuse ones you already like. ‘Tenaciously, tenacious defense’? ‘Discombobulatedly discombobulated play’? Perfect.
- Olympic Lesson: It’s only worth quitting drinking if you win: in spotlighting ski-cross racer Chris Del Bosco and his return from alcohol and drug use to the Olympics, Chris Collinsworth said ‘the greatest day of his life… the day he took his last drink’. Apparently it was all downhill from there. Something I think we can all relate to.
- NFL Application: LenDale White we are looking at you. No pressure, but if you don’t win a Super Bowl soon, those tequila memories will just get stronger and stronger
- Olympic Lesson: Gross cultural stereotypes are fun: An entire round of ice dancing seemed to have a theme of gross cultural stereotypes: from aboriginies to India to the American west, there was no culture left un-insulted.
- NFL Application: Actually, the Redskins already have this covered
- Olympic Lesson: Once the spotlight fades, performance improves: In 2006, Bode Miller was hyped as the next American ski legend. He didn’t reach the podium once and made headlines for partying. This year, the media didn’t even mention Bode before the games and he has already won 3 medals, including a gold in Super Combined
- NFL Application: Four words: Terrell Owens, fantasy sleeper
- Olympic Lesson: The more marketable you are, the less your performance can be criticized: Before the Olympics Lindsey Vonn had already been anointed Queen of the Olympics. A failure in the Super Combined and a less than sporting reaction to being bumped to bronze in the Super-G have not dampened NBC’s overwhelming desire to force you to love Lindsey, whether you want to or not
- NFL Application: Haven’t’ heard much about uber-pitchman Peyton Manning’s massive choke in the Super Bowl, have we?
- Olympic Lesson: Don’t Cross the Koreans: Korean Lee Jung-su complained Apolo Ohno didn’t deserve the silver medal he won in the 1,500 meter race after two other Koreans ran into each other and crashed. Koreans are a very bitter, vindictive people, casting blame at Ohno, when they knocked themselves out.
- Apply to NFL: The NFL has Hines Ward. So they knew this already.
- Olympic Lesson: You can’t always get what you want, but if you try some time you get what you need: On Sunday night, the Canadians lost to the US in ice hockey, causing nationwide anguish. On Monday, a Canadian pair won Ice Dancing.
- NFL Application: Sorry Chargers fans. With L.T.’s untimely passing, it seems like the window of opportunity for winning the Super Bowl may be closing. At least you have that Cheerleader competition championship to hang your hats on.
- Olympic Lesson: You can not lose to the French: During a curling competition this past weekend, as the announcer reviewed the Finnish team’s performance to date, he mentioned that they had lost to the French team, to which his announcing partner declared: “You CAN NOT lose to the French!”
- NFL Application: Clearly the Jets could have used this strategic insight before playing the Colts in the AFC title game and giving up 11 catches, 151 yards and a touchdown to Pierre Garçon.
