Last year, in the inaugural ‘Doubling Down’ series, I had a shockingly successful run in picking both halftime and full time playoff games against the spread. So let’s try it again and see if it was a fluke or if I should sell my home, move to Vegas and drive hookers around in a brand new Mercedes.
I think we all should stand up today and thank the University of Clemson.
We all face pressure every day. We all want to do our best when thrust in the spotlight. We all grow up dreaming of catching the winning touchdown pass, making the game winning shot or landing that perfect triple-lutz to steal the ice-skating gold from that Russian bitch who totally doesn’t deserve it but got great scores from the French judge because of some backroom deal even though she put that hand down on her last jump….umm…I think I’ve said too much.
But sadly most of us will not do any of those things. Most of us will endure mediocre athletic careers that see many more failures than successes. And even successes that can’t measure up to our lofty childhood dreams.
This is why we owe Clemson big thanks today. While many of us will fail to achieve our goals, almost none of us will fail as spectacularly or as publicly as Clemson did in the Orange Bowl last night.
We have seen a new bottom, and it isn’t us.
Go forth with head held high, knowing no matter what you do today, someone has done something significantly worse.
NY Giants vs. Atlanta
Halftime: NY Giants (-2)
Full Game: NY Giants (-3)
I really don’t want to pick this Giants team.
(What’s with all of the ‘this team’ stuff? Why am I suddenly the Jon Gruden of little read corners of the internet?)
A few years ago, I mercilessly mocked the Giants for even making the playoffs and spent countless words comparing Eli Manning to the kid from Dazed and Confused that is always pinching the bridge of his nose for no reason. They responded to my taunts by winning 3 road playoff games and then pulling off the greatest upset in Super Bowl history, so I like to think I did my part to usher in Michael Strahan’s retirement.
You are welcome.
This Giants team (SEE?? AGAIN!), reminds me a lot of that team. Underwhelming performance (they lost to the Redskins 3 weeks ago!! And the announcers keep saying that they are ‘peaking’!). A hit or miss running game. Defense that can dominate or disappear. Eli “I always look like I would rather be at an amusement park” Manning under center.
I could see them winning by 4 touchdowns or losing by 3. If I were in Vegas I wouldn’t touch this game with Justin Blackmon’s infected ‘thigh’. But I am committed to making picks, so I will take the Giants at both halftime and over the full game for 2 reasons.
1 – That 2007 team. Those who don’t remember the past…and all that
2 – The Falcons still have Tony Gonzalez who is genetically incapable of winning a playoff game or being criticized by the media. Where Shannon Sharpe helped win games by sheer force of personality, Tony seems to lose games the same way. Never count on Tony (or Matt Ryan, or Michael Turner) to come through in the clutch. Especially on the road.
Sorry Eli, at least one more week before you get to go ride the Tea Cups again.
Denver vs. Pittsburgh
Halftime: Pittsburgh (-5.5)
Full Game: Pittsburgh (-8.5)
And so it ends where it all began – my hometown Broncos.
We are here because for weeks on end, Tebow was able to perform magic tricks that would have impressed David Blaine (“elevation – PFFFT – try knocking the ball out of a runner’s hand without getting near him!”).
Unfortunately, Tebow strapped on a straightjacket and blindfold and locked himself in a box filled with water 3 weeks ago. The struggle stopped 2 weeks ago and the bubbles stopped on Sunday. The magic is over and we are left with a carcass getting riper by the week.
But – lo, I just saw the body twitch. The straps on the straightjacket appear to be coming undone. There may be a little life left in that body after all.
Big Ben comes in limping. Mendenhall is out for the season. Ryan Clark can’t play at altitude. The Steelers are the better team but they aren’t a dominant team.
The Patriots dominated the Broncos by capitalizing on mistakes and with an overwhelming offensive show. Frankly, the Steelers don’t have an offense like that (see: Week 17; 13 points scored at Cleveland where they spot you 3 points if you make it to the stadium on time).
Will the Steelers win? Yes, most likely – the Chiefs just won in Denver. Will they win by more than 8.5 (or higher, spread has been climbing up to near 10)? I don’t think so.
Take the Steelers and give the points at half (7-0, 14-7, etc.). Take the Broncos and the points for the full game (14-7, 17-10, 17-14).
The magician may not make it out of that water-tight box, but he will come awfully close.
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