A few short hours ago the college football season started again. Every player slept last night with visions of an undefeated, Boise State–esque run dancing through their minds. For the vast, vast majority of them that dream will come crashing down harder than Vincent Chase in this coming weekend’s Entourage. Even, ironically enough Boise State themselves. For half of the teams that undefeated season will actually end this weekend.

This weekend always feel like we are almost cheating – that we don’t deserve football already. It isn’t even Labor Day – the unofficial end of summer. There is no NFL yet we have a full slate of college games. Maybe that is why I am so forgiving of college teams having a creampuff game this weekend. Since it almost shouldn’t count anyway, why not start with an easier game? The older professionals that have been working together all spring and summer get 4 warm-up games, why shouldn’t a team made up of players that may not have even met until just a few weeks ago?

Or maybe I am just feeling charitable since I have been without college football since January.

Anyway, with the return of college football we are back with our first official Hierarchy of Hate for this football season. With no pros playing, we have a shortened schedule of picks here as well and with only a few decent games our pickings were a little slim. I don’t care who Turner and Peffer are cheering for in the riveting South Dakota-Central Florida game, so why should you? Although if either of them compared each of the faces on Mt. Rushmore to the most similar Disney character, it might have made it worthwhile. For the record, I would go with: Washington = Mickey, Lincoln = Goofy, Jefferson = Pluto and Roosevelt = Donald. But that is just me.

Turner: The year officially begins on Thursday night although New Year’s Day is really Saturday.  Call it the start of the fiscal year (losing money to stupid bets and Vegas odds) or turning another year older, football season is when the year officially starts.  With that, there is no better way to prepare for this New Year than with the first official edition of the Hatred (THH) List.  Before we go into this week’s picks, did anyone realize that Super Dave and Kirk Herbstreit are on the same the Ohio State bandwagon.   It has made me nauseous a bit reading that last post but I want you to realize that he is NEVER right, so the fact that we can almost guarantee that OSU and/or Texas will now fail this year makes me happy.  Not sure if this is subconscious on his part or if he really believes.  I hope for his mental state it is the former.  If it is the latter, and it comes true, then Tebow save us all.

Peffer: As an astute SuperDave pointed out this afternoon (possibly also prompted by Sportguy’s near constant adulation on Twitter) today is 9-02-10.  For those of us who were in our teens or early 20′s in the early 90′s a certain FOX show about a pair of fraternal twins from Minnesota trying to blend in with the rich and pretty folks at West Beverly High was the very definition of “Must See TV”, long before NBC ever coined that phrase.  Despite all of the principal actors being much older than the characters they were playing, it was refreshing to find a show that focused on our demographic and brought to light the types of problems we faced (disclaimer:  I never lost my virginity to a brooding millionaire, exposed a steroid scandal on the school track team, or tried to stalk any group as horribly uncool as “Color Me Badd”).  In all honesty, however, this show did have a major cultural impact on my generation, and despite the fact that it hung on about 5 seasons too long (what show in the 90′s didn’t?), those first 4 seasons hold many good memories for me.  In honor of the day, I am dedicating my THH to Brandon, Brenda, Dylan, Kelly, and the gang, with each team represented by a cast member.

LSU @ North Carolina

SD: Not really ‘at’ North Carolina as this is the annual season kick-off bloodbath from the Georgia Dome. I think the SEC uses this game to distract the country from the rest of the conference’s abysmal non-conference schedules – to brainwash pollsters to always believe teams like Tennessee, Georgia and South Carolina should be mentioned when talking about a team’s strength of schedule. Does the SEC really need more help in the PR department right now? First, we have the AD from Texas A&M say that his team isn’t good enough to play in the SEC, and now we are going to follow it two days later with a middle-of-the-pack SEC team decimating one of the higher profile ACC teams. Sure, UNC is overrated every year, their coach has never won anything yet is lumped in the category of ‘great college coaches’ and they could be playing without several starters (thanks to, ironically, SEC player-like behavior from them) but that won’t change the fact that the SEC will once again plant a flag in pollsters minds that they are the best conference in the land. I always laughed at those idiots that chant ‘SEC, SEC’ at games but with a country of Manchurian pollsters out there, I guess it is time to fight fire with fire…I mean fight stupid cheers with stupid cheers. ACC! ACC! ACC!

Turner: North Carolina better have a plan when it puts its JV squad out for this game since many of their freshmen took their talents to South Beach this summer.  Who do you hate more, the evil empire of the U vs the in-state hatred of Okie State?  Have to pull the rank on the hatred of the U for the era of Jimmy Johnson and yet, Butch Davis.  Les Miles was never a blip on the radar except for his flirtation with Michigan (why did they want him that much – so overrated, though probably better than Richy Rod and his complete adherence to NCAA rules).  If your resume has The U and Cleveland though, I just can’t support your team.  You have to be that hated team this week.  Geaux Tigers.

Peffer: LSU @ North Carolina:  Dylan Mckay vs. Jim Walsh.   If you have ever seen Death Valley (aka Tiger Stadium) on a hot and humid Saturday night, then you will know it is the perfect football representation of 90210′s resident bad boy.  Jim Walsh rocks the keyboard, raises his eyebrows alot, and is a perfect match for a UNC school that for all intents and purposes, will always just be a basketball school.  Dylan and Jim had some epic fights over one Brenda Walsh, and yet, in the end, they grew to respect each other.  I think this contest will be a little closer than people suspect, and North Carolina will also earn the respect of LSU.  In the end though, you have to go with the Young Turk, and the LSU Tigers.

Washington @ BYU

SD; Writing this from deep in the heart of Husky country, you would think I am overly biased in this game but that didn’t stop freshman QB and Sammamish, WA native Jake Heaps from spurning the Huskies to go to Provo. Now his first collegiate game could be a win over the local team he stiff-armed. Just the luck of Seattle sports fans. Actually that isn’t true. With the Seattle sport fans’ recent luck it would happen the same day that Tim Lincecum throw a no-hitter versus the Mariners, the former Seattle SuperSonics sign LeBron James, Charlie Whitehurst is named starter for the Seahawks and Apple buys Microsoft. But Heaps beating “The Sasquatch” Jake Locker would be bad enough. For my people, I must cheer on the purple and gold.

Turner: The Tebow lovefest of 2010 starts on Saturday with Mr. Locker.  Super Dave is in love, it is very cute to watch him curl up with his College Football previews like most guys cuddle up to their new edition of Maxim.  This love fest will spill over to the nation except for the Mormon world.  The Huskies with their fluffy, shedding dog are certainly lovable.  BYU is on the hated list this year for many of the reasons that that Nebraska was voted to the hated list last week from an overall national perspective.    Is the Mormon nation seceding from the Union circa Texas in the 1800’s.  I think we should just let them go join the CFL, especially since the majority of their players are over 26.  I don’t understand their independent stance and seceding from the union.  I do look forward to their ability to show up on the Mormon Entertainment  Network (MEN) because it will at least be something better than the Mormon Tabernacle Choir Christmas concert in July. Washington dominates this hatred battle in a roll-over, however they might end up going home lovable losers from a point spread staindpoint.

Peffer: Andrea Zuckerman vs. Donna Martin.   These two are setup to be diametrically opposed in one department (brains) and similar in another (purity), but from the get go, Andrea seems hell-bent on getting any guy (but most hopefully Brandon) to notice and then deflower her, while Donna clings to her V-card with almost as much zeal as Saint Tebow.  Washington wants people to believe it is pure, but we all remember the slime filled regime of one Rick Neuheisal.  BYU on the other hand, has been holding it’s head high and promoting the clean and pure lifestyle for a long, long time.  I still can’t figure out how Jim McMahon survived 4 years at that school without getting kicked out for honor code violations.  I think most of us can relate to David Silver’s long suffering plight in pursuit of Donna’s goods….just not right.  I’ll go with the brainy chick who got herself knocked up and had to drop out of college.  Go Huskies!

Boise State @ Virginia Tech

SD: The marquee match-up of the week involves the states of Idaho and Virginia. No that isn’t a typo, I looked it up and it’s actually true. In a game being played in the nation’s capital, it feels like politics should help decide this one, but do I really want to compare a Senator who played footsie in an airport bathroom stall to another that used derogatory, racial term for a staffer of his opponent? If that doesn’t sum up why politics is depressing I don’t know what does. Oh wait. Speaking of politics, I forgot Idaho’s most famous native politician. Well I didn’t forget her, I just wish she would go away long enough for me to give it a try. Well, that changes everything now doesn’t it? Hokie-hokie-hi all the way

Turner: Kill me now.  End the BSU hype and not make the Hokies the next over-rated team to get rolled over by Georgia Tech later this year.  The fact that the winner of this game will turn into a National Championship contender makes me puke just a bit.  With that said, since this is about the rest of the year and the need to win a little side bet I have with two individual writers of the blog and I’m completely equal on my hatred of these two schools, I must hate the Broncos more.  Why – because I need a free meal, and BSU losing and falling in the poll will help feed my P90X stomach.

 ** Side Bar Editorial: I was in Lincoln on Wed when they announced the Big 10 conference break-out and 2011 and 2012 Conference Schedule.  It was somewhat enjoyable to watch the entire Husker nation deflate when they look at their schedule of Penn St., OSU, Iowa, Michigan, Wisconsin plus their non-conference.  Why the fear?  I’d rather play a bunch of mediocre teams then face the task of having to lose to at least OU or Texas every year and no chance to win the conference.  Husker nation is terrified of the big slow guys from around this country and it started yesterday.  They assigned Penn St and the Husker’s Rivalry game.  Surprise they didn’t buy their way to get Indiana on that list with all that research money they are getting to investigate the conception of Grubs on wheat stalks.

Peffer: Silver vs. Brandon Walsh.  Boise State wants respect.  They want to have a seat at the adult’s table.  They want to be part of the ‘cool’ kids (i.e. the BCS conference giants).  Same could be said of David Silver.  He started out as a stereotypical nerdy character who just wanted to be part of the gang but worked hard over the course of the series to win the respect of the popular kids and eventually be part of the gang.  BSU is slowly gaining the respect of the nation by continuing to schedule at least one tough non-conference game and always holding serve with their conference games.  Could this be their year?  Brandon, and by extension, Va Tech, have been through just about every conceivable questionable situation:  alcohol abuse, drunk driving, and gambling most notable for Brandon and the illicit activities of the Vick boys (dog cruelty and chest stomping), tragic campus shootings, and the intolerable introduction of the most overused special teams moniker in the world (“Beamer Ball”) for the Hokies.  At the end of the day, I think we all want to pull a little for the outsider, especially if it screws with the BCS.  Go Smurf-turfers!

This past Saturday I woke up and after starting the coffee brewing and grabbing the paper I decided to turn on the TV to see if I could catch a Premier League game. My boys from Arsenal had already won and Fox Soccer was showing a game I didn’t care about so I checked what was on ESPN. To my surprise, the first College Game Day of the season was on. To say my life improved at hearing Big and Rich sing the word ‘cit-tay’ is a vast understatement.

Sure, there were the usual annoyances: Herbstreit’s annual unwarranted Hurricane love fest, Corso picking a UF/Nebraska national title game and an extended discussion about Notre Dame as required by ESPN’s FCC license. But all of that is just the trees making up the forest of something much. Much bigger: college football is back!

Gone are those boiling hot Saturdays where your afternoon sports decision is between a baseball game and a golf tournament. Now we return to cooler temperatures, and days upon days of football. It is enough to make a man want to build his own man-cave for enjoying 12 hours of football each Saturday. Oh wait, I am doing that. I rock.

So with that, let’s waste no further time. Let’s jump right in. It is time for my annual destined-to-be-embarrassingly wrong predictions for the college football season. Write them down in ink today, and laugh at their idiocy for months to come:

Not This Year Folks: For the first time since 2005’s epic USC/Texas national championship game (redaction by rule of the NCAA) we will not have a representative of the SEC in the national championship game.

Yes, Alabama is the defending national champion but they won that title with defense. A defense that now has 9 new starters. Hard to see this being the same defense as the one led by Rolando McClain and Mount Cody (who personally won them the Tennessee game last year you might remember). Not only that but thanks to a quirk of scheduling their final 6 SEC opponents will all play the Tide coming off of a bye week. That obviously won’t help every opponent but the Tide didn’t exactly blow anyone out last year. One or two minor slip-ups are pretty easy to envision. Of course as their friends in Baton Rouge can tell you, even losing twice doesn’t automatically disqualify a team from national championship game – assuming the pollsters are as infatuated with you as teenage girls are with Justin Bieber, so maybe the Tide will sneak in anyway but I still don’t see it.

On the other side of the SEC, the only team that could make a case is the Gators but without the magic of Tebow and the constant losses to the draft along the offensive line and defense they also seem ripe for a couple losses. There are plenty of traps on the Gator schedule: at Tuscaloosa and…dare I say it…(oh, you dare, you dare)…at Tallahassee seem to be prime candidates as well as the annual ‘closer-than-it-should-be game’  or outright loss in the Swamp – LSU and South Carolina look just strong enough to scare the Gators. Outside of Alachua County though, the SEC East is marginally better than the Sun Belt right now. I know Georgia and Tennessee name recognition but that is the only credibility they carry into the season. Call me when you win a game of consequence. With that, the winner of the SEC title game will need a lot of help to reach the BCS title game again.

You Can Show Yourself Out: The last few years, one of the biggest stories in college football has been  the rise of teams from the non-power conferences on to the BCS stage. This year Boise State has the unprecedented opportunity of beginning the season in the top five, setting up an easy to envision rise to that national title game. I know ESPN’s talking heads said that the BCS title game would take 2 one-loss teams over BSU but that is hard to believe from a simple logistical approach.

If every other team loses a game, BSU will have to sit atop the polls at some point. If Alabama and OSU lose and BSU remains undefeated, then either the teams that beat each rise to the top or BSU does. But then in this scenario, whatever teams jump them (say Florida and Iowa) would also lose. So, somehow we are expected to believe BSU would never climb to the #1 spot? And if they do, can the pollsters really dislodge a #1 team that doesn’t lose? I don’t see it.

However this hypothetical scenario that must keep BCS Commissioners up all night worrying about the gypsies taking over their palace will remain just what it is – a hypothetical. One week from today this could be a moot point and I think it will be. It is conventional wisdom around here that Virginia Tech always loses at least one game they shouldn’t. The opening weekend BSU game seems like a prime contender for one of VT’s annual embarrassments. But I don’t think so. Not this time. This is, in essence, a home game for the Hokies and they have an experienced QB and two experienced running backs to not fold on the big stage. Combine that with superior size and athleticism and I think VT can overcome their overrated and overmatched coaching staff and send Cinderella back to Smurfland with a loss, ending the speculation before it can even begin. Oh, and TCU? Yeah, you had your shot last year in a BCS bowl and apparently used the Bob Stoops BCS game handbook to prepare for it. Don’t think you will get a second invite back to the party no matter what you do this year.

Archie Griffin: Popping champagne by Week #5: Archie Griffin will get to embrace his inner-Mercury Morris when he remains the only two-time Heisman trophy winner for yet another year. I wasn’t a strong believer in Mark Ingram last year (since I am 98% sure his back-up Trent Richardson is as good as he is, how can he be the best player in the country), so if you factor in a loss or two for the Tide, less impressive stats (as team really key on stopping him, which you even saw at the end of last season) and beginning the season already injured, there seems little to no chance he is holding up the bronze statue again this season. If everything else plays out as expected (see below), I think you will see Terrelle Pryor up on that stage in December: he has the hype, the name-school, the pre-season ranking and the Big Ten to put up great stats against. Throw in a highlight reel play or two and 11 wins or so and it would take an out-of-nowhere Charles Woodson like year to take it away from him.

And on a personal note: We have been waiting for years, asking the same question: could this be the year? When I say ‘we’ I mean Seminole fans, of course. Is this the year our boys finally rise back to the top of the rankings? For once, I think it might be possible. With probably the best quarterback to wear the garnet and gold not named Charlie Ward, more talented but unproven running backs and wide receivers than the Tea Party has lunatics and an experienced line, this should be as good an offense as we have seen since we were all stocking cans for Y2K. On the defensive side, FSU had the 110^th best defense last year and still went 7-6. Even if they achieve mediocrity (ranking in 50s or 60s) this team could finish with just 2 or 3 losses. Now we have a new, young coordinator and some of the top freshmen in the country. I’m not saying FSU will be in the national title conversation or definitely beat OU in week #2, but will they be hovering around a top ten ranking, have a major upset on their resume and possibly be in consideration for a BCS Bowl bid at the end of the season? Finally, yes.

At the End of the Day: There is really only one thing that matters in college football: who wins the crystal football. Looking into my tea leaves (chai: left over from my post latte tea this morning – I am a 2 caffeine drink kind of guy), I see yet another Ohio State title game appearance. Sorry Peffer. With a strong team back, only a couple major challenges (Iowa, Miami and Wisconsin) and a quarterback that could go all Vince Young at a moment’s notice, it is hard to dismiss OSU making it back to the title game. And facing OSU will, ironically, be VY’s old team, the Texas Longhorns. Sorry Turner. Yes, McCoy is gone but Garrett Gilbert filled in admirably in the BCS title game and should mature throughout this season. A depleted Big 12 leaves them with only 3 really tough games all year:

Oklahoma: hard to believe but I take Mack Brown over Bob Stoops in a coaching duel any day. Wow, did I just write something positive about Mack? I must be running a fever.

Nebraska: Sure last year’s Big 12 title game was close. But that was thanks to a man named Suh. He is gone. Unfortunately the Huskers’ quarterbacks remain. Their chance at a win does not.

Texas A&M: Wow, what year is this? 1996? Texas A&M, seriously? Sure, they have a fine quarterback. But the Aggies have been waiting to return to relevance even longer than the Seminoles. I’m from Missouri (literally): you need to show me something before I believe it.

With that it seems pretty clear we are looking at a Texas v. Ohio State title game. Sorry Horns but the Big 12’s failure on the BCS stage continues another year and OSU takes away the BCS title as well as my favorite running joke about the Big Ten not being able to compete with the southern schools.

I say the loss of one running joke is a small sacrifice to make for the glory that is another college football season. As a lame commercial for a cheap light beer says: here we go.

If you need me, I will be in my man-cave.

And so it begins anew.

Another fall. Another football season. Forget January 1^st, this is the dawn of a New Year. Not just a new year but a new decade. Gone are the days when Pete Carroll had to pretend to not know his players were being paid on the way to dominating year after year, yet most often falling short in the end. Today, Pete openly pays his players and most likely will dominate nothing. Mike Shanahan and Donovan McNabb are now together in D.C. destined to do just enough to give the locals some hope before failing. The more things changes, the more they stay the same.

But the start of a new season isn’t all double rainbows. Part of what is great about football isn’t just the teams we cheer for but almost as importantly are the teams we hate. I don’t care what Dr. Drew thinks, hate is healthy. Maybe not Mel Gibson-level hate, but a nice safe dislike of another team allows you to get out that frustration from a long week when you have to do all the work for a bunch of f’ing lazy co-workers who feign ignorance just to avoid actually doing anything. GOD FORBID THEY ACTUALLY DO SOME WORK THEMSELVES WHEN THEY CAN JUST PRETEND THEY DON’T KNOW HOW TO DO IT AND FORCE YOU TO DO IT.

Oops, went a little Mr. Braveheart there, sorry about that. Let’s not mention that to Dr. Drew, deal?

Anyway, with a new season here, it is time for a new season of hate so I am re-convening the THH Algonquin Round Table. To kick-off the season, we are trying something new: a season preview of sorts. Anyone can take a guess at how the season will work out and they will all be equally wrong. But in THH, you can never be wrong. Hatred is never wrong.

Unless it leads you to leave someone profane, racist and bigoted voicemails.

So, to welcome in the new season today we are answering a simple question:

Which 2 pro and college teams are you going to hate the most this year?

To make it fair, we are removing rivals from the equation. So you won’t get a long tirade from me about Urban Meyer possibly needing to take out a 3^rd mortgage to pay off the Gainesville PD to keep his starting defensive front seven from looking at a stretch of 3 to 7 years in the house that Ted Bundy Built. (Allegedly.) And you won’t hear from Turner about Mack Brown’s unnatural affection for small farm animals. (He assumes.) And you won’t hear from the Shadow about how he believes Jim Tressel likes to fly to the Bunny Ranch in the off-season and get tied up by his sweater vest. (Or so he heard.)

Instead, we are looking beyond our natural enemies for more teams to hate. Enough pre-amble. Like watching 4 pre-season NFL games, I have dragged on way too long. Though, for the record I didn’t let 3^rd stringers write the last few paragraphs. We play our starters all the way through around here. On to the show.

(Editor’s Note: Now that I have seen the posts, if you are a Nebraska Cornhusker fan, right about here is the point where you would want to stop reading. Just know that these are written completely solo – we have no idea what the others are writing. So, really this is an early warning system Huskers. Like those tornado warning sirens you hear during the summer, this is the first indication that trouble is coming your way. Your true hatefulness is right on the horizon, so now would be the time to head to the cellar. You are welcome).

Turner: Our inaugural football THH for the 2010 – 2011 is here.  Very open-ended this week in picking any two teams heading into the college and NFL football season.  Lots to consider when leaving every team in the field to choose from.  Geography based?  Conference Based?  Biased based on destroying the Sooner Nation over the past few years?  These are the decisions that grind on a man’s soul.

Shadow: The dawning of the 2010 version of THH brings with it high expectations for our respective college programs, and huge enthusiasm and excitement for the Denver Tebows…errr, Broncos.  I predict our college teams will each make us happier this year than the hometown NFL team.  With high expectations, comes high hatred, as each of us has 100 other college teams gunning for our precious spots within the Top 25.  The Broncos prospects…..eh, not so much, but still plenty of hatred to go around at the professional level.  Let’s take a quick peek at who shall be the most hated coming out of the gates.

College:

SD: If there is one thing that drives me to hatred, it is media over-saturation. It drives me nuts when the media fawns all over a team that doesn’t deserve the level of scrutiny they get (see: Dame, Notre). This year, just from the short pre-season hype there is one team starting to rise in my eyes: the Nebraska Cornhuskers. A pre-season top ten ranking? The Husker-love reached a crescendo (you could even say it is as high as an Elephant’s Eye – a little cornfield humor for you) this past Saturday when Lee Corso picked the Huskers to play for a national title. I’m sorry, what? This was a team that went 10-4 last year. An offense that averaged 11 points in their 4 losses. Oh, did I mention that the best player on that thoroughly mediocre team is now playing for the Lions? How in the world does that team become the best team in the Big 12 and nearly the country? Are Mike Rozier and Tommy Frasier coming out of retirement? Nothing I have seen from Husker nation makes me think they are anything more than another 9-3 or 8-4 season waiting to happen. Even if they go 10-2 or 11-1, let’s remember they play in the Big 12 North. They should follow the same unwritten rules as the Mountain West or WAC: one loss and you are eliminated from BCS Bowl consideration. If I have to deal with breathless ‘The Huskers are Back!’ features after they beat Western Kentucky and Idaho I am going to puke in my Corn Flakes. Add in their off-season ‘Look At Me’ melodramatic move to the Big Ten and the fact that they allowed a Larry the Cable Guy comedy special to be filmed in their stadium and I am up to my eyeballs with Husker nation at this point.

SD: Sometimes life is unfair. Sometimes, the people least deserving of success end up being the most successful. That is especially true in the world of coaching. College coaches can lie, cheat and steal and then move on to higher salary and more prestigious positions while the athletes and schools they left behind have to pay the price for their crimes. How wide-spread is this problem? Right now, there are at least 5 coaches you think I could be talking about. But taking shots at Nick Saban is so 2008 and Lane Kiffin is a walking punch line. Beside it isn’t like Kiffin has ever been successful at anything after his initial interview. Why hate him? He is a joke and is destined to return USC to their late 90’s mediocrity. No, instead today I am hating on Bobby Petrino and his Arkansas Razorbacks. Petrino raised Louisville to national importance and then bolted for the NFL (<cough> Saban<cough>). He then almost made it through an entire season with the Atlanta Falcons before scurrying back to the safe arms of the Razorbacks (at least little Nicky finished all 16 games before bolting out of Miami). A school that, despite an appearance in the SEC title game, ran Houston Nutt out of town at first opportunity. It seems like a match made in heaven – two me-first institutions without an ounce of loyalty between them. When the Razorbacks inconsequential in Petrino’s first couple years there were no feelings but schadenfreude, compounded as not a single Razorback fan can even pronounce that word. But now the Razorbacks have a Heisman candidate quarterback and pre-season top twenty ranking. I don’t want to live in a world where all of these people are rewarded with a winning football season. I have come to accept Saban’s evil ways, so I can only hope he crushes Pig-Sooey nation this year. Alabama will pay for the Saban era in a couple years when they go on probation for his as-yet-unknown-indiscretions, anyway. Just ask USC.

Turner: For the College football season, the honorable mention goes to Notre Dame.  Why?  because I hate them with so much passion and these NBC commercials touting the Brian Kelly regime gets under my skin beyond belief.  I can only hope for a strong Purdue, Michigan, Navy, Boston College or whomever else they play to put them in the Charlie Weiss column for losses.  HATE….. 

Coming in at number 2 needs to go the Ohio State.  They are my geography based pick (North of Virginia / West of Oklahoma) along with conference.  The entire hype of Terrelle Pryor is unfounded.  They occupy a top ranking every year just to choke or occupy a spot in the national championship game to get massacred.  Those little buckeyes on the back of their helmets are handed out like crack out of Paris Toxic Slurry’s purse.  I can only hope that they get completely steam-rolled worse than what The Shadow did to his own daughter on Sunday.

The number 1 THH going into this year is the Benedict Arnold of college football, the Cornheads from Nebraska.  I once played in a competitive soccer league and we were always getting our butts kicked so the next year we changed leagues to be ‘more competitive’.  It had everything to do with that we were slow, un-athletic, and had to find some home which we could try and compete.  This brings me to the Cornhuskers, circuit 2010 -2011. The slow farmers have realized they will never compete with the Big XII south so they bolted to the lands of the other farm boys.  There they can be the best of a mediocre group of farm kids that focuses on that grand prize of the Rose Bowl or getting blown out by some SEC / Big XII team (see OSU above).  All of this is true except for Iowa, they are GREAT!  I want Nebraska to get pounded beyond belief this year and move off to their new home in the land of the great wasteland of America (not including Iowa of course).

 Shadow: Nebraska:  Oh so many reasons to hate Nebraska.  Home state of the headquarters of my employer.  Soon to be natural rival for my Hawkeyes.  Completely overrated in preseason polls.  Boring state to drive through.  I could go on and on.  I cannot wait for this team to join the Big 10 so that I can win tons of money and favors each year in bets with the folks in the home office.  There is simply no good reason to cheer for Nebraska.  Well….until Bowl Season if they are playing a team I hate more.

Minnesota State University:  After the Screaming Eagles forcibly caused Coach Hayden Fox’s “retirement” in favor of “Dauber” Dybinski, I lost all respect for them.  Luther would be spinning in his grave.  After all he meant to the school, including leading them to a National Championship in 1993, Coach Fox should have been able to retire on his own terms, and not be forced out.  Sure, his play calling and scheming had become a bit rote, and he lost recruiting battles he used to win (hey…there is only so many ways to try and convince a youngster that Minnesota winters are ‘mild’)..but still, this is the man who single-handedly put Minnesota State University on the big time Division I-A map!  Such a travesty, and worthy of hate.

NFL

SD: Similar to my above hatred of Nebraska, this one is based on media over-hype. In years past, I have written of the Hard Knocks effect, in which the on-going intimate look at a team on the HBO show inevitably leads me to sort-of, kind-of cheer for that team during the season. You begin to feel like you know the players. This year, however that will not be happening. Hard Knocks is just another nail in the coffin of any feelings I had toward the Jets. Now, I hate the New York Jets. Much like the Huskers, the Jets turned an uncharacteristically strong end of season performance into too much off-season hype. This team was 9-7 last year. They jettisoned one of their best lineman and top rusher. Their quarterback was a rookie with nearly as many interceptions as Jay Cutler. Does everyone else forget the sophomore slumps we have seen from recent successful rookie QBs? Ask Matt Ryan and Joe Flacco about how much easier year 2 was. And now, the only time their coach shuts up, is to put more food in his mouth (which we know because of HBO – thanks Hard Knocks!). Plus I worry about how the Jets will perform the couple weeks that Ryan has to leave the team in the middle of the season to give birth to the child he appears to be carrying. All of this doesn’t add up to Super Bowl favorite in my book. It adds up to lots of mid-season ‘what is wrong with the Jets’ features on SportsCenter, a quiet January in the Meadowlands and a team I look forward to cheering against every week this season.

SD: In 2003, the Red Sox were lovable losers. Each year, they would get close before ultimately crushing the hopes of their rabid fan base. Then in 2004 they broke through in the most remarkable way possible and suddenly everybody in America that had even read about the Boston Tea Party claimed to be one of the long-suffering members of Red Sox Nation. Conveniently, just in time to join in the celebration. Today, Red Sox nation is probably the most obnoxious fan base in the country (look Shadow – I said something nice about the Yankees! Sort of.) A close number two and gaining every day are the fans of the Pittsburgh Steelers.  When the Steelers came back to prominence with two Super Bowl wins in 4 years in the last decade, suddenly long-dormant Steelers popped up in every city like sleeper cells. Now every city has a Steeler bar and Steeler away games have a definite black and yellow hue to them. Enough already. If you are so proud of Pittsburgh, why did you leave? Go home. Combine that fan base with a quarterback that treats women as well as Lennie from Of Mice and Men and it is easy to hate the Steelers. Sure, the ability to tweet Big Ben jokes for 3 hours during each game is a point in their favor (see: me during Bronco/Steeler pre-season game Sunday night) but that doesn’t do enough to overtake the sheer ubiquity of Steeler nation. Go away again Steeler fans. Call me when your team puts decals on both sides of their helmets. Cheapskates.

Turner: NFL THH Honorable Mention: Can you be hated when you don’t exist?  Yes, just ask the Buffalo Bills.  If you can’t field a competitive team, then you should be hated.

NFL THH #2: NY City Teams:  Their new stadium is weak given the Billions that it cost; Mark ‘Dirty’ Sanchez is a waste of a quarterback (see Paris Toxic Slurry), and anytime you have to resort to LT, you are doomed.  The Giants, they are guilty by the doctrine of the Northeast.  I just hope neither makes the playoffs (along with New England) and we can just turn the entire Northeast off the electric grid.

NFL THH #1: Jax Jaguars:  Why?  Because they (and Buffalo potentially) were the only teams that could have saved Denver from taking the Golden Child.  Did they? No!  They took some obscure OL that would have been there in the 5^th round (Editor’s Note: He is actually a defensive lineman, but the fact that Turner doesn’t know sort of drives home the point, huh?).  What did we get? Only a golden paved road to Mile High / Invesco.  I hope this comes back to haunt them forever.  We are now haunted by visions of circumcisions and good deeds rather than quality football.  Screw you Jax

Shadow: New England Patriots:  Still burning over Belicheat’s horrible play call on 4th and 2.  Not mad at all that he went for it.  Just mad that the play call was so crappy.  You don’t run one and a half yard out routes when it is 4th and 2.  You run 3 yard outs.  Don’t give me smack about how much longer it would take for a 3 yard out.  Mop-top would have found a way to get the ball out, don’t you worry.  The Patriots still owe me $150 on that lost bet.  I will look to recoup in November.  I have also had to spend some time in New England this fall.  Here is what I learned:  1.  You can only rent hybrids at the airport, and you can never tell if they are on or off.  2.  The New England ‘accent’ is especially heinous if you have to listen to it for a week straight.  3.  The ‘meat medley’ at the Common Man restaurant in Concord, NH does not do nice things to one’s digestive track.  I blame all of this on the Patriots, and will hate them for it all the more.

Pittsburgh Steelers:  Morally questionable QB?  Check.  Defense that rings up more personal fouls in a preseason game than tackles.  Check.  Obnoxious fan base, possibly second only to Cowboys?  Check.  Team personally responsible for making Terry Bradshaw what he is today (and not in a good way)?  Check.  Too cheap to buy logos for both sides of their helmets?  Check.  If I had only been leaning towards hating the Steelers in the past (mainly due to personally watching them dismantle the Plummer-led Broncos in the AFC Championship game) after watching Saturday’s game in which they basically unveiled a cheap shot for every occasion, topped off by James Harrison spearing our starting QB during his interception return, I am firmly in the camp of hatred towards all things gold and black.  I hope “Big” Ben (some of his plaintiff’s would question the moniker) gets the full 6 game suspension, and then breaks a leg tripping over Hines Ward as Hines attempts a crack back block. 

There comes a day every adult child dreads. Well, actually there are two but the second is too morose for a sports analogy. The (first) day that every adult dreads is the day they have to do something with their parents because of their age.

For most people my generation or older, their parents have lived in the same house for decades and now the grown child must essentially pull the parent out of that house and put them somewhere else. Whether it is a real retirement home, assisted living, the child’s own home or just a smaller place closer to the child, there comes a point where a parent reaches an age they can’t live in their home any longer.

I don’t have experience with this yet, thankfully. My mom may forget the occasional conversation or swear up and down I loved some food growing up that I have despised since birth but both she and my father are still plenty capable of taking care of their own lives and home.

That doesn’t mean I won’t have to face it someday. In fact, really the only way to avoid it is to instead have to face the 2^nd day no child wants to deal with, so in a perverse way, maybe shuffling mom and dad off to Shady Acres isn’t so bad.

NOTE: If you are concerned about my parents reading this and being insulted, let me just tell you that, on the occasions when this site does come up in conversation, it is more often ‘are you still doing that?’ than disagreement with my latest unprovoked dig at Woody Paige. My mom has even said ‘yeah, I should go read all of that stuff you have written’. So, if one day there are a couple hundred pageviews from Littleton, I will know why.

I can imagine there ends up being some painful moments in that process – both because it is most likely your childhood home from which you are taking your parents and from an argument coming from their insistence on not going. I can guess it is a very difficult time.

Today, I almost feel like I no longer need to guess – the same painful drawn out process and hurt feelings is happening to a place I love and to people I worship.

We all knew that Bobby Bowden wasn’t ready to retire a year ago when he left FSU, but he did. After years of poor play and off-the-field problems, Bowden walked away from the program he built and tried to keep his chin up while doing it. He left as gracefully as he could and thanks to the Gator Bowl and the underperforming West Virginia Mountaineers we got one last time to say thanks and goodbye.  

The fact that the deed itself was done by a school President he had once coached must have been especially painful. If there is one group Bowden would have expected he could count on to stand with him, it would be former players. To be betrayed by one must have been especially painful. Almost like a child turning on you.

And today, that wound was laid bare for the world to see when Bowden took a moment from his selling of a new book to say how hurt he was and that his relationship with TK Wetherell may be damaged beyond repair.

Even at the time of the ouster (did anyone believe the retirement nonsense?) I wrote that I felt Bowden wasn’t just the coach of my alma mater’s football team but a member of the family. I still feel that way and always will.

But, sometimes we have to hurt those that we love.

It was time for Bowden to go. I still don’t like how it transpired – a closed door meeting after the final regular season game; an ultimatum and an arm twisting. None of that should be used to describe the exit of one of my two favorite coaches of all time (he and Wooden will lead this list forever – no matter what McDaniels or Jimbo Fisher accomplish).  But Bowden’s desire to keep coaching beyond what was good for the team and school forced the hand of the FSU administration.

It seems fitting that on the same day that Bowden expressed his frustration, ESPN.com published a preview of FSU that focuses on the changes being implemented this year: a focused nutrition program, closer interaction of offensive and defensive coaches, tighter discipline away from the field. In print, these look like simple, almost obvious things, yet they are emblematic of how Bowden’s grip on the program has begun to loosen over time.

I remember when I was looking for a job with graduation looming in 1997. I pulled some strings in the athletic department and met with a representative from Nike. Not being a 15-year old Philipino but a soon-to-be former athlete with a marketing degree, Nike was my dream job. For some reason that I don’t remember now, I also met the coach of the FSU cheerleaders during this meeting. After hearing me say thank you and congratulate her on her fine work for at least 15 minutes, she mentioned something I can’t forget.

Talking about nutrition she said something along the lines of “it is so tough: the girls need milk to keep their bones strong but they can’t afford the calories”. While this would initially make you wonder if they had skim milk in Tallahassee, it also makes you realize how strict the eating regimen was for the cheerleaders.

Note: Again – to the cheerleader coach out there wherever you are – thanks. Your work had a huge impression on my college life.

But it also makes me wonder: why did the cheerleaders have tight nutrition guidelines 15 years before the football team?

Setting aside all of the particulars of the changes instituted by Fisher, there was one quote in the article that, to me, sums up why it was time for a coaching change.

“We just didn’t have the coaching mentally that we needed,” Dawkins said. “It was all about being tough, and we were tough, but mentally we were taking the wrong steps. The zone is going to help us out a lot. Coach Fisher, he’s put a big point on us to actually learn how to play football instead of going out on the field and counting on our athleticism.”

(emphasis added)

As a know-nothing fan, it is amazing that I have held this same conversation with fellow Noles for years. After dominating the sport in the 1990’s by being flat better than the competition, the Noles have slipped in this century because they no longer have superior athletes at every position. Most games they seemed to assume that they were better athletes than the opposition and would just cruise to an easy win (a philosophy better known as: Florida State football, 1993 – 1999) but that wasn’t the case. Part of that was FSU no longer winning every recruiting battle it used to (which should have been bright red flag #1) and part of it was that even mediocre teams are better now.

For a myriad of reasons (fewer scholarships, better young coaches, etc.) every school has better players today. Better athletes won’t always win and programs that rely completely on having better athletes won’t succeed like they once did (Exhibit B: The coaching journey of Steve Spurrier). To succeed, a team needs discipline, smarts and a deeply engrained philosophy embraced by everyone. As was evident by the off-the field troubles, penalties and mental mistakes in the last few years, discipline was never Bowden’s strength.

It feels almost sacrilegious to say this but it was time for Bobby to retire – whether he wanted to or not. Too many failures in too many areas had piled up. Whether it was the lackluster win-loss record, the academic scandal or the loss of confidence in him by recruits, it was time for the program and Bowden to move on.

It doesn’t mean I won’t miss him on the sidelines or ever feel less strongly for him. But it was time for the program to move on. We still must wait to see if this new page in the program history translates into wins but it can’t be ignored how well FSU started doing on the recruiting trail upon Bowden’s retirement.

It was time to put Grandpa in the retirement home. Let’s just hope that the new owners of the house he built don’t just maintain it but improve it. It had started to get a little worn in the last few years when he couldn’t keep it up like he used to. But underneath is an incredibly strong foundation that just needs some loving care.

Grandpa can’t say it today, but maybe when emotions cool, we can bring him back by to show him the improvements and even he will admit it looks better.

Over the past decade, no hobby has grown as quickly as fantasy football. What was once a geeky hobby of a few dorky sports fans who couldn’t actually compete in sports due to an over reliance on asthma inhalers, has become big business and as wide spread as herpes on the set of The Hills. Nothing this side of fetish porn has benefited from the internet as much as fantasy football. Ironically, another hobby that used to be mainly enjoyed by sickly guys in dark rooms.

Today, it could be argued that fantasy football is nearly as big as the NFL itself, as it continues to attract players that previously didn’t closely follow the NFL. Suddenly young and old, male and female are deeply invested in who scores a touchdown in the second half of a Lions/ Rams game. An event that before fantasy not even Lions and Rams fans cared much about. Heck, I don’t think Lions and Rams players even cared that much. 

As fantasy football continues to grow, the hard cores are looking for new ways to enjoy the game and challenge themselves. If any soccer mom knows to draft Chris Johnson first overall, then someone that has been playing for decades is going to look for ways to prove their superior knowledge. Auction drafts, salary caps, keeper leagues. All were born from an attempt to separate the true believers from the Johnny-Come-Latelys that believe spending all of their draft picks on kickers is a legitimate strategy.

NOTE: That last comment sounds like a joke, but it was actually told to me as a strategy used by a guy in a league. His theory was that every other player would be desperate for kickers and willingly trade him real players later to access his cache of kicking talent. Seriously. Alas, he isn’t in my league.

Of all the different strategies for identifying real fantasy players, there is one that hasn’t gotten much traction but seems to me to be the most obvious next frontier in fantasy football.

College fantasy.

This past weekend was my second college fantasy draft. And it drove home how different college fantasy is from the pros. Just a few of the differences that make the college game that much more challenging:

 - An ever-changing cast – The top 3 draft picks in some order in fantasy last year: Tebow, McCoy, Bradford. Not a single one is back this year. Basically the entire draft starts over from scratch every couple of years. Where NFL drafts have default picks for years at a time (how many years was LaDanian a top-3 pick? How many more years will Adrian Peterson be?), in college the top players can turn over nearly every year. A lot more studying and knowledge is required to build a competitive team. Which at least partially explains my 2 wins last season. As does the name of my first round draft pick: LeGarrett Blount, he of the near riot in Idaho/9 game suspension on opening night.

 - So many more teams – You think tracking how the Rams / Lions game is going takes effort? Wait until you are tracking a Vanderbilt v. South Florida game online. Our league is limited to only BCS conferences, Mountain West and Notre Dame yet a fantasy team’s performance is often wholly dependent on random games that no one cares about, unless they are alum. One of my quarterbacks last year was Russell Wilson of NC State. Did you watch any NC State games last year? Can you even tell me what happened in any NC State games last year? Put your hand down Mrs. O’Brien I wasn’t talking to you.

 - The draft is only the beginning – In NFL fantasy, the draft can make or break a team. Get a deep team with a couple break-out stars and a group of consistent performers and you are set. Sure, you can suffer an injury, luck into a player via the waiver wire or trade on occasion but for the most part 80% of your team is set on draft day. College is different. The rise of unknown freshmen, surprise teams or injuries to a starter can all thrust complete nobodies into the spotlight. Last year, Dion Lewis came to the Pitt campus just another undersized freshman running back. He ended the season as one of the top five fantasy scorers in the country.

- Complete Changes in Teams – In the NFL, you pretty much know what you get. The Chargers are going to be the Chargers whether Marty Schottenheimer or Norv Turner is leading them to perennial pre-mature playoff exits. Not so, in college. The last few years, Texas Tech was the darling of college fantasy. I think last year the quarterback, at least 2 running backs and probably 4-5 wide receivers were all drafted in my league. This year, after Mike ‘Black Beard’ Leach locked the wrong TV personality’s son in a closet and was fired, Tommy Tuberville has arrived on campus and changed the offense from Leach’s wide-open passing attack to a conservative run-first offense. Gone is TTU’s VIP status in fantasy. Now they are just a mediocre team with a dull offense playing in the middle of nowhere. Making them indistinguishable from most of the rest the Big Ten and Big Twelve.

- Additional Factors – So you know the coaches, you have scouted the players. You are all set right? Wrong. Unlike the pros one of the single biggest factors to consider in your team is their schedule. No one has ever said ‘I can’t take Chris Johnson because the AFC South is playing the NFC East this season’. Yet, no matter how great your players are in college, the schedule can completely change their value. Would you rather have Heisman trophy winner Mark Ingram versus the LSU defense or Roy Helu of Nebraska against Eastern Washington? Exactly. This season, my first week opponent’s players have games against the following teams: Fresno State, South Carolina State, UC-Davis, Miami of Ohio and New Mexico. Assuming his players don’t get benched or punch a guy in the face, he is going to score a lot of points. I could have the greatest college team ever assembled but if they are playing decent opposition I am screwed.

There are many other reasons to love college fantasy but probably the biggest is this: It essentially doubles your fantasy quotient per weekend.

People are excited about the NFL expanding to 18 games so they can get 2 extra fantasy weeks per year. I already play at least 20 games each season before the playoffs even start.

For those of you out there pining to prove your fantasy genius, there really is only one answer.

Go back to college.

Summer is the time of grilling. There is no better way to spend a summer evening than sitting on a porch drinking a cold beer and grilling meat. At least until football starts. Then you can drink beer, eat grilled meat and watch football.

While eating grilled meats is one of the great joys in life, there is one part of the summer ritual that might be even better. The first whiff of the meat starting to near completion on the grill. The smell of ribs or barbecued chicken smoke coming off of a grill is one of the great things in life. And one of the 189 reasons I could never be a vegetarian. The smell coming off a grill is so dense and rich it is, as my 5-year old niece might say, like lunch for your nose. It also represents anticipation.

An old Jerry Seinfeld joke was about how being ‘next’ in a line is the greatest, how it might be better than actually reaching the end of the line. You are the envy of everyone standing behind you and you aren’t yet forced to deal without whatever nuisance awaits you (DMV, grocery store clerk, passport control). It all comes down to anticipation. You are close enough that whatever you are waiting for is nearly there yet you aren’t thrown into the mix just yet.

Which is exactly what the first weekend of pre-season games is to the football season. It represents our first taste of football after a long, hot summer in the purgatory known as baseball season. It isn’t quite the real thing, but it is the best reminder yet that the season is about to start.

While it is human tendency to overreact to the first pre-season games, we should all bear in mind how little pre-season has to do with the regular season. Remember last year when Kyle Orton threw 3 interceptions in his first game and then didn’t throw another until week #6?Not only are starters only playing portions of a game but you have players learning a new system after the draft or an off-season trade. Anyone expect that if the Colts and 49ers play in the regular season the 49ers would again win 37-17?

But, there are also things that can be learned if you look closely enough. So, after sitting through at least portions of 4 games over the weekend, here is what I learned:

- Let’s start with the Broncos. First and foremost, if anyone mentions the possibility of anyone other than Kyle Orton starting at quarterback for the Broncos this season, that person should be immediately dismissed as a complete moron and probably kicked in the nuts as hard as possible to reduce the chances of him reproducing. If that was a quarterback competition for the Broncos, then Brady Quinn and Tim Tebow were Angola and Croatia while Kyle was the 1992 Dream Team . Orton was poised and showed a strong arm leading the first string offense to 2 touchdowns against the Bengals starting defense. Brady Quinn was what he has been since he entered the league – lost. I have never thought much of him, and last night’s display (against Bengal back-ups) re-enforced that opinion. A pick-six and a couple three-and-outs.

- As for Tebow, well I think we can put away the Messiah name plate for now. He also looked like what he is: a rookie trying to learn to play a new system. He completed some short passes when he didn’t need to sit back and read the defense, he struggled when blitzed, and when all else failed plowed over some dude that won’t be a Bengal in three weeks for a meaningless touchdown on the final play of the game. On the bright side, he did throw a nice deep pass that was dropped by Matt Willis but that throw as with others showed the throwing motion he spent the off-season trying to get rid of. Not a good sign.

- As I tweeted though, at least he has a bunch of fat UF girls now cheering for the Broncos.

- In short, he is a raw rookie trying to refine his passing motion while also learning how to become a pro quarterback and read more complicated defenses being played by better athletes than he has played against. You know, exactly what he is. He isn’t a God. He isn’t a The Greatest Player Ever. He isn’t even the best rookie on the Broncos. He is just a guy with a freaky, obsessive following that more than overshadows his actual skill. Sort of like Justin Bieber without the cool hair.

- If you are a Bronco fan, forget about OLASTT and focus on issues that could actually impact the team this year: the running game. Both for and against. The first string Broncos offense almost didn’t even try to run. Presumably (by which I mean hopefully) that was due to all of their best running backs being out of action rather than an admission that there will be no running game this year. A 5^th string running back behind a patchwork of journey men and rookies on the offensive line isn’t the best indication of what the Broncos could be. At least let’s hope not. I don’t care how good Orton looked, he can’t be asked to lead the Great Show on Grass this season.

- On the other side of the ball, the Bengals moved the ball between the twenties pretty easily in the first quarter, especially on the ground. For a defense that went out and got a bunch of huge run stuffing linemen, they sure gave up a few runs right up the middle early. If it wasn’t for a Herculean effort by Champ Bailey on 2 deflections and a tackle, the Bengals would have done a little better in the first string battles than losing 14-0.

- Moving on to other games, I watched a doubleheader of mediocrity on Saturday night. First, the Bucs and Dolphins played in a bog and played like whatever creatures live in a bog. Two bad offenses were not helped by the muddy infield at Buffett-is-a-sell-out Stadium. If this was a scouting game for my fantasy team, the best I can say is that I really hope I don’t draft any players from either of these teams. Let’s just say that Brian Hartline was one of the starting receivers for the Dolphins. Do you need to know any more than that?

- The second half of the doubleheader was the Seahawks and Titans from my second hometown. This was mostly a back-up fest, outside of an opening drive in which the Titans marched down the field against the Seahawk defense, scoring nearly as easily as a team playing the Mariners. On the positive side, for the Seahawks Matt Hasselbeck didn’t get hurt. On the negative, Julius Jones didn’t get hurt.

- Probably the biggest news for the Seahawks was the competent play of big off-season acquisition Charlie Whitehurst, probably the 2^nd biggest career back-up pick-up in the NFL this spring (Brady Quinn finally wins something!). Whitehurst played fine; he put up some stats and scored 2 touchdowns against the Titans back-ups. Which is great, I am sure Seahawk fans are thrilled. They will be decidedly less thrilled however if Whitehurst is asked to play that much in any regular season game.

- On Friday night, I watched bits and pieces of the Redskins trouncing of the Bills. This was notable for 2 reasons. The first is that the Redskins featured former Bronco Ryan Torain at running back. Who always looked really promising in preseason at Dove Valley and would then suffer a devastating season-ending injury. I’m pretty sure he made it through this game in one piece thought. The other note was the dominance of the Redskins. Of course, I remember the first pre-season game of another Redskins head coach when he destroyed an opponent and the Steve Spurrier era didn’t exactly turn out so great for Skins fans.

So what did we learn, if anything this weekend?

Well, we learned that football is so near we can almost smell it.